So #1 brought up a good point when I was woa-me-ing on Tuesday. He said that for the first time in 4 years I have a brand new opportunity to start all over. He mentioned that every person I kissed was not RS, every person that tried to hold my hand was not RS, every person that wanted to know me was not RS. And no matter how many times I'd look into his big brown puppy dog eyes, he knew that he wasn't RS either.
While #1 and I share everything as friends, it wasn't the same kind of sharing as with RS. When he wrote "out of my shell" he wasn't kidding. I still put up a kitten front with #1, even after 6 years. Finally, he said, I was released from comparing or from even sub-consciously comparing any person to the man I have been infatuated with forever.
That did get me to thinking about how many first kisses will be on the way in the next several months. And it got me reminiscing about the different types I've encountered:
The Teeth Knocker: Oh my, really, you've probably only kissed like 3 girls before. It's that scathing first time your lips touch and when you go in for the real deal, he knocks your teeth to the point you think one might be loose. Granted, you get a second run - maybe you've never kissed someone my height or maybe you were drunk, I mean I've knocked teeth on accident before. But the consistant teeth knocker has got to go.
The Licker: Ew. This rates up with the worst kisser ever. About a year after "the incident" I saw the STC episode where Charlotte was dating one of these guys and it cracked me up. It's the guy that does the sweet kiss and as you pull away still has his tongue out - and you think to yourself, "maybe he does the little tease ..." and then before you know it he's licking your cheek and your nose and you suddenly feel like you've been attacked by a dog for lack of better explanation.
The Biter: I am one to say that I enjoy the lip pull - but have you had the biter? Geez, it was like I was with a vampire and I had a bloody lip afterwards that was swollen for about 3 days. By all means it's the sexiest technique gone awry. Keep your teeth off my lips please.
Practicing ENT Doctor: I'll take a biter over him, the guy that needs to inspect your tonsils with his tongue, like it has a little camera and he just wanted to make sure I didn't have strep. Again, sometimes used in conjunction with the sexy technique of the hands on your neck, but really used as a ploy to go alien on your ass and jet his tongue all the way back out your neck. Eh gad.
But then there's the good ones too ...
Neck Holder: The extremely sexy move where one hand gently hold the back of your head, right under the hairline to tilt you in the right position (as not to knock teeth). Normally encompassed with eyes closed. An extra incentive, the hand moves down your jaw bone ... crap, could get wet just thinking about it.
The Lip Tug: I often believe a man must be amazing in bed if he pulls this off. You kiss a couple times and then as you're easing up on the tongue action, his lips grab your bottom one. Usually followed by an low key "wow" for me.
The Passionate Kisser: Usually most successful after a long dry spell or a drunken night for me, it's the quick, deep kisses where your pinned against a wall, hands over every aspect of any kind of flailing skin. Hottest time ever? Resulted in nakedness up the stairs and sex at the very top, until the roommie walked out and - well, that's why I live alone.
The Zone Kisser: Hands off the neck, okay, hands on the neck followed by your mouth is almost a definite to make my back arch and me want to fall to my knees. Can be done with passion, or sweet reserve. Both pretty much guarantee a BJ if I'm in to you.
I Might Be In Love: Doesn't involve kissing on the lips, tongue, nothing. It's that make-you-melt kiss on the shoulder after a great night out. The peck on the forehead, that point pass passion when you know someone. The friendship kiss, when you realize that it might be more than friends. You know - that kind of kiss.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Oh, Ouch Milwaukee.
This came from Molly's blog, you can read more in context at Molly's Blog.
:
Since plagiarism is now publicly acceptable at PlayintheCity.com, I have decided to distance myself from that group of bloggers and readers as much as possible. I recognize the fact that the blogosphere is still relatively new, and I want to associate myself with a credible and creative group that are determined to take blogging to the next level. I fully expect my share of trolls and ongoing negativity, but at least now I feel like I’ll have more control of where my writing is headed and I have a fresh start and a brand new reader base. I look forward to what's next!
Here's the jist of the post - Visit Milwaukee sponsors 2-3 blogs (can't remember if the 3rd launched at all), they don't pay the writer but they do supply a computer, internet, camera, etc and will get the writer tickets to certain events so they can write about what's going on. By all means, out of the blogs "Play in the City" got the most publicity hit under Erin than compared to "Paint the Town" and then the restaurant blog that was supposed to be launch a year or 2 ago (can't get too much hits since I'm a blog whore and I haven't even seen it). I read about the contest after Erin's turnover and, while from a PR perspective it gives some nice attention to the blog - it, to me, defeats the purpose of what it's actually supposed to be about. In all honesty, I would be more likely to continue reading if it wasn't a war between writers and more-so a quiet turn over.
So to the lovely Molly, I'd like to reassure you on several points on why you should be happy that you didn't win the contest:
(A) Now you can write using swears, vents, etc. with out having to be weary of anyone's input
(B) While you would have been awesome, the blog's credibility was already under shaky ground because of a "contest" - at least in my opinion
(C) And hey! You got to expose a plagiarist!
:
Since plagiarism is now publicly acceptable at PlayintheCity.com, I have decided to distance myself from that group of bloggers and readers as much as possible. I recognize the fact that the blogosphere is still relatively new, and I want to associate myself with a credible and creative group that are determined to take blogging to the next level. I fully expect my share of trolls and ongoing negativity, but at least now I feel like I’ll have more control of where my writing is headed and I have a fresh start and a brand new reader base. I look forward to what's next!
Here's the jist of the post - Visit Milwaukee sponsors 2-3 blogs (can't remember if the 3rd launched at all), they don't pay the writer but they do supply a computer, internet, camera, etc and will get the writer tickets to certain events so they can write about what's going on. By all means, out of the blogs "Play in the City" got the most publicity hit under Erin than compared to "Paint the Town" and then the restaurant blog that was supposed to be launch a year or 2 ago (can't get too much hits since I'm a blog whore and I haven't even seen it). I read about the contest after Erin's turnover and, while from a PR perspective it gives some nice attention to the blog - it, to me, defeats the purpose of what it's actually supposed to be about. In all honesty, I would be more likely to continue reading if it wasn't a war between writers and more-so a quiet turn over.
So to the lovely Molly, I'd like to reassure you on several points on why you should be happy that you didn't win the contest:
(A) Now you can write using swears, vents, etc. with out having to be weary of anyone's input
(B) While you would have been awesome, the blog's credibility was already under shaky ground because of a "contest" - at least in my opinion
(C) And hey! You got to expose a plagiarist!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Wing Woman
Wikipedia's definition of a "WINGMAN"
Wingman is a term in the seduction community that a man may take when he goes to a club or bar with an accompanying male. A wingman is expected to support his friend in approaching women. The men often pick a desired woman, who is referred to as the "target." The man intending to seduce the target is often called the "pilot." The wingman is expected to back up the pilot, which typically entails talking to the target's less attractive friend(s) and making comments that will make the pilot seem more attractive. This is often referred to as "taking one for the team."
Wingwoman is much the same, except there is women doing the same with men.
While taking a moment to reflect on everything that's happened since Monday I started writing in my Neenah Columns book about every relationship I've been in since I was 12. One of the outstanding similarities was "Wing-Woman."
When I was 12, my 13 year old friend wanted to date this guy Steve but I had to go out on double dates (because HELLO we're 12 & 13) so I had to go out with Pete, who was my first boyfriend.
When I was 14, my friend (same age) wanted to do to this drinking party to hook up with this guy John, so we went and I had to distract his friend who turned out to be (gulp) the fiance.
After that, when I was finally out on my own, another friend wanted to date this guy that frequented our bar, but his friend was in town and needed a distraction, so I was it.
Same factor with #1 (and same friend). The pattern continues on and on.
So I've decided that being a wing-woman is evil.
Wingman is a term in the seduction community that a man may take when he goes to a club or bar with an accompanying male. A wingman is expected to support his friend in approaching women. The men often pick a desired woman, who is referred to as the "target." The man intending to seduce the target is often called the "pilot." The wingman is expected to back up the pilot, which typically entails talking to the target's less attractive friend(s) and making comments that will make the pilot seem more attractive. This is often referred to as "taking one for the team."
Wingwoman is much the same, except there is women doing the same with men.
While taking a moment to reflect on everything that's happened since Monday I started writing in my Neenah Columns book about every relationship I've been in since I was 12. One of the outstanding similarities was "Wing-Woman."
When I was 12, my 13 year old friend wanted to date this guy Steve but I had to go out on double dates (because HELLO we're 12 & 13) so I had to go out with Pete, who was my first boyfriend.
When I was 14, my friend (same age) wanted to do to this drinking party to hook up with this guy John, so we went and I had to distract his friend who turned out to be (gulp) the fiance.
After that, when I was finally out on my own, another friend wanted to date this guy that frequented our bar, but his friend was in town and needed a distraction, so I was it.
Same factor with #1 (and same friend). The pattern continues on and on.
So I've decided that being a wing-woman is evil.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
If you're going to be heartbroken...
I guess if you're going to be heartbroken, you want the response I got this morning. I finally felt like I went into stage 2, where I just didn't want to discuss things or cry and then here I am in tears as I read his response to my letter.
1. You are more than a fuck buddy, an amazing one at that, but way
more. You are somebody I can talk with openly and break out of this shell.
That is no small feat. You are cool, smart, fun, super sexy and down
right FUCKING HOT and you should never take a backseat to anyone. I
thought that when you were with the guitarist and I feel that now.
2. When you speak of who I should be with... I don't see you outside of
that at all. Any guy should be proud to be with you. You are the kind
of woman that makes a guy better just being knowing he is with you. If
you know what I mean, the kind of woman that just randomly pops into your
head with a "holy shit I am with MG!" Don't think I didn't have those
moments. I wouldn't have invited you to stay over had I not nor would
I have kept things going.
As when we first started, I said I wouldn't hide things from
you. You know I dig you... and I knew if I didn't find somebody I dug, you
would absolutely find someone you did.
I consider you a friend and absolutely plan on keeping it that way.
I won't cast bad juju on things, but you know I won't lose your number.
I was hoping for no response or for an asshole response. For some reason I was hoping that would be better, but instead I get this. I thought I was good at Dear Johns, turns out he's better.
1. You are more than a fuck buddy, an amazing one at that, but way
more. You are somebody I can talk with openly and break out of this shell.
That is no small feat. You are cool, smart, fun, super sexy and down
right FUCKING HOT and you should never take a backseat to anyone. I
thought that when you were with the guitarist and I feel that now.
2. When you speak of who I should be with... I don't see you outside of
that at all. Any guy should be proud to be with you. You are the kind
of woman that makes a guy better just being knowing he is with you. If
you know what I mean, the kind of woman that just randomly pops into your
head with a "holy shit I am with MG!" Don't think I didn't have those
moments. I wouldn't have invited you to stay over had I not nor would
I have kept things going.
As when we first started, I said I wouldn't hide things from
you. You know I dig you... and I knew if I didn't find somebody I dug, you
would absolutely find someone you did.
I consider you a friend and absolutely plan on keeping it that way.
I won't cast bad juju on things, but you know I won't lose your number.
I was hoping for no response or for an asshole response. For some reason I was hoping that would be better, but instead I get this. I thought I was good at Dear Johns, turns out he's better.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
What friends are for.
In the text message hoopla - I got my normal text from #1 telling me to have a good day. I told him not really. He called at 11 and I just started bawling. I couldn't help it - I think it's the meds.
I'm extremely uncomfortable crying so I use sarcastic humor to ease the pain. "Fuck #1, I mean, I'd switch to women but Jules has gotten me off of them!" Through sobs I managed to get out. He did what he could and told me that there are people out there not like this, and 6 months from now it'll be a good thing. I told him that I still thought what happened 2 years ago with RS was shitty (he did the same thing). He told me he didn't have an answer, but he had a shoulder and promised it would be okay.
After this little antic I sat alone in the office, sneaking on the back porch for a retrospective smoke. I couldn't believe it hurt that much. It hurt even more to know that I sent three Dear John's and didn't get a response from any of them (rejection factor). You so want it to be Hollywood, but that doesn't exist. The nice sweet Dear John isn't making the person on the other side remember how great you are or were, it's a pointless means to closure that will never actually be there.
When the guy in the office came back from lunch he had a bouquet of Stargazers, my favorite flower and a hug. He didn't know what was going on but he was sorry. I didn't need anyone to touch me, I just needed someone to show that there were people out there that cared if I was sad or not.
I wanted to leave early today; however, I've got a meeting with my students at 4:00 which means work ends around 6:00. I'm exhausted.
I'm extremely uncomfortable crying so I use sarcastic humor to ease the pain. "Fuck #1, I mean, I'd switch to women but Jules has gotten me off of them!" Through sobs I managed to get out. He did what he could and told me that there are people out there not like this, and 6 months from now it'll be a good thing. I told him that I still thought what happened 2 years ago with RS was shitty (he did the same thing). He told me he didn't have an answer, but he had a shoulder and promised it would be okay.
After this little antic I sat alone in the office, sneaking on the back porch for a retrospective smoke. I couldn't believe it hurt that much. It hurt even more to know that I sent three Dear John's and didn't get a response from any of them (rejection factor). You so want it to be Hollywood, but that doesn't exist. The nice sweet Dear John isn't making the person on the other side remember how great you are or were, it's a pointless means to closure that will never actually be there.
When the guy in the office came back from lunch he had a bouquet of Stargazers, my favorite flower and a hug. He didn't know what was going on but he was sorry. I didn't need anyone to touch me, I just needed someone to show that there were people out there that cared if I was sad or not.
I wanted to leave early today; however, I've got a meeting with my students at 4:00 which means work ends around 6:00. I'm exhausted.
A Morning of Dear Johns and a Bar Review
So yesterday started with a 6pm meeting at "City Lounge," the new 'cool' bar in Cudahy. Needless to say, in Joe's true fashion it was amazing. While it's a non-smoking bar and I'm a smoker, the atmosphere was light, the drinks cheap the bartenders friendly. You can definitely see the Landmark inspiration, dark & thick wood. But the decorations wield to a light feeling. It's somewhere I'd take a date, my parents, even my grandparents if they were drinking.
Currently they lack a menu which brings me to the Olive Pit with a friend for pizza & Cucumber Press & Vodkas. Then it's a stop at the High to meet up TW's brother-in-law, or whatever he was.
At this point it comes out the TW is seeing someone that he met the day after I left for Dubuque. Which led me to the correct conclusion earlier. I can't say it didn't hurt. I gave up RS for him. Or did I?
So I got home, slightly tipsy and pulled out the old cell that had RS's number in it. We bantered with text and fell asleep. We had an early meeting at work so I rolled out of bed at 5am only to read the persistent beeping text message.
"The truth is I met someone. We haven't done anything or gone out. But I like her."
I responded, "Wow. Okay. I figured. Umm, best of luck!"
I proceeded to the shower and crumpled into a ball in tears. I clutched my knees until the shower went cold the sobs didn't hurt as much as they did in the beginning. Holy shit, everyone was right. I was in love. Holy shit, it hurts.
I strapped up my shoes and buttoned my pants to hear my phone beep again.
"It's not like that, I don't play games. I just met her." followed by "And someone keeps throwing a pity party for himself saying 'MG hates me' and I feel guilty."
At first having no clue what he was talking about, I texted "I always return calls, who are you talking about?"
He responded that it was my ex. That's what hurt the worst. His scapegoat. I texted back "I can't help my past and I'm sick of it being thrown in my face. I can't do this on text."
Then, "What do you want me to do? Call him? I mean I'll leave out the point that you've fucked me for a year because that would be tacky."
He told me that I had to do what would make me happy and that he had to stop feeling bad about it.
I said I was happy. Because I was.
So I went to work and decided to compose 3 letters. One to TW, one to RS and one to the guitarist.
To TW I was honest. I told him I went to see RS. I told him I liked him. I told him I didn't know what happened. But he needed to realize that I'm the sweetest person he'd ever meet and that I was a great catch. It was his decision if he wanted to throw me back. Then I told him I needed closure and to email "fuck off" or "okay" or something so I could move on.
To RS it was painful. Because of my reactions when I'm hurt, I often rely on humor. So this is what he got ...
Grow some balls and ask her out. You're an amazing catch, don't think you're not. You are (1) hot (2) sweet (3) smart, did I mention hot? Because you are. And then there's the piercing, but I mean I wouldn't throw that out there as the pick up line or anything - she can discover that later.
You caught me off guard. I'm sorry that I seemed short. When we started this in August, I knew going into it that at some point you were going to meet someone. I'm not dumb, I swear. The truth is we probably should've stopped a couple months ago because I was starting to feel really good about being with you. That's a sure sign of things to come.
You are probably the most amazing person I know. I will always think of you as more than a fuck buddy, I hope you know that. I'll also always be here if you need a fuck buddy ... :)
I can't help the situation with the guitarist. I get mad at it because on one hand it was probably the worst year of my life. My relationship with him made me not want to be with anyone. But on the other hand, I got to be closer with you. Looking back I think that things would have been different if I would have just turned my back that day, but hindsight is 20/20. I just don't know how to stop him from interfering in my life. It seems that he's always that excuse in the waiting when it comes to us being friends.
You deserve to be with someone who you are proud to be with you. Who you can introduce to your family, someone you can actually call your girlfriend. Someone who isn't a 10pm phone call or a romp in the bed for a couple hours. You deserve someone worth you.
Normally I'd write something like lose my number asshole, but I can't. I want to still keep in touch.
And I still want to screw you if this doesn't work out .... :)
Then I had to handle the demons with the guitarist. I told him I didn't hate him, I couldn't even if I wanted to. And I didn't want to. That I heard his life got turned around and that I was proud of him. That the bumpkin was good and that I wished him all the best.
I hit send on all three and cried. I don't know how I ended up here...
Currently they lack a menu which brings me to the Olive Pit with a friend for pizza & Cucumber Press & Vodkas. Then it's a stop at the High to meet up TW's brother-in-law, or whatever he was.
At this point it comes out the TW is seeing someone that he met the day after I left for Dubuque. Which led me to the correct conclusion earlier. I can't say it didn't hurt. I gave up RS for him. Or did I?
So I got home, slightly tipsy and pulled out the old cell that had RS's number in it. We bantered with text and fell asleep. We had an early meeting at work so I rolled out of bed at 5am only to read the persistent beeping text message.
"The truth is I met someone. We haven't done anything or gone out. But I like her."
I responded, "Wow. Okay. I figured. Umm, best of luck!"
I proceeded to the shower and crumpled into a ball in tears. I clutched my knees until the shower went cold the sobs didn't hurt as much as they did in the beginning. Holy shit, everyone was right. I was in love. Holy shit, it hurts.
I strapped up my shoes and buttoned my pants to hear my phone beep again.
"It's not like that, I don't play games. I just met her." followed by "And someone keeps throwing a pity party for himself saying 'MG hates me' and I feel guilty."
At first having no clue what he was talking about, I texted "I always return calls, who are you talking about?"
He responded that it was my ex. That's what hurt the worst. His scapegoat. I texted back "I can't help my past and I'm sick of it being thrown in my face. I can't do this on text."
Then, "What do you want me to do? Call him? I mean I'll leave out the point that you've fucked me for a year because that would be tacky."
He told me that I had to do what would make me happy and that he had to stop feeling bad about it.
I said I was happy. Because I was.
So I went to work and decided to compose 3 letters. One to TW, one to RS and one to the guitarist.
To TW I was honest. I told him I went to see RS. I told him I liked him. I told him I didn't know what happened. But he needed to realize that I'm the sweetest person he'd ever meet and that I was a great catch. It was his decision if he wanted to throw me back. Then I told him I needed closure and to email "fuck off" or "okay" or something so I could move on.
To RS it was painful. Because of my reactions when I'm hurt, I often rely on humor. So this is what he got ...
Grow some balls and ask her out. You're an amazing catch, don't think you're not. You are (1) hot (2) sweet (3) smart, did I mention hot? Because you are. And then there's the piercing, but I mean I wouldn't throw that out there as the pick up line or anything - she can discover that later.
You caught me off guard. I'm sorry that I seemed short. When we started this in August, I knew going into it that at some point you were going to meet someone. I'm not dumb, I swear. The truth is we probably should've stopped a couple months ago because I was starting to feel really good about being with you. That's a sure sign of things to come.
You are probably the most amazing person I know. I will always think of you as more than a fuck buddy, I hope you know that. I'll also always be here if you need a fuck buddy ... :)
I can't help the situation with the guitarist. I get mad at it because on one hand it was probably the worst year of my life. My relationship with him made me not want to be with anyone. But on the other hand, I got to be closer with you. Looking back I think that things would have been different if I would have just turned my back that day, but hindsight is 20/20. I just don't know how to stop him from interfering in my life. It seems that he's always that excuse in the waiting when it comes to us being friends.
You deserve to be with someone who you are proud to be with you. Who you can introduce to your family, someone you can actually call your girlfriend. Someone who isn't a 10pm phone call or a romp in the bed for a couple hours. You deserve someone worth you.
Normally I'd write something like lose my number asshole, but I can't. I want to still keep in touch.
And I still want to screw you if this doesn't work out .... :)
Then I had to handle the demons with the guitarist. I told him I didn't hate him, I couldn't even if I wanted to. And I didn't want to. That I heard his life got turned around and that I was proud of him. That the bumpkin was good and that I wished him all the best.
I hit send on all three and cried. I don't know how I ended up here...
Monday, June 11, 2007
Odd Conversation at Work.
MG: "Hey - do birds pee?"
JS: "What?"
MG: "Well, do they drink water?"
JS: "Pretty sure they do."
MG: "Then they'd have to pee right?"
JS: "I'm not sure. What brought this up?"
MG: "I think a bird just peed on me."
JS: "I'm sure. I don't think it peed on you."
MG: "No, there's something on my shirt. I just want to know if they pee or not."
JS: "Like I said, I don't know."
MG: "Well let's google that sh*t."
One hour later ...
MG: "Birds do pee."
JS: "It took you over an hour to find that out?"
MG: "No, two seconds. But I forgot to tell you and I knew it was important."
JS: Laughing. "I'm sure."
*For all of you dying to know - birds do pee, but one did not pee on my shirt. It was water. Turns out that's what causes the runny-ness that's all over my car windows right now.
JS: "What?"
MG: "Well, do they drink water?"
JS: "Pretty sure they do."
MG: "Then they'd have to pee right?"
JS: "I'm not sure. What brought this up?"
MG: "I think a bird just peed on me."
JS: "I'm sure. I don't think it peed on you."
MG: "No, there's something on my shirt. I just want to know if they pee or not."
JS: "Like I said, I don't know."
MG: "Well let's google that sh*t."
One hour later ...
MG: "Birds do pee."
JS: "It took you over an hour to find that out?"
MG: "No, two seconds. But I forgot to tell you and I knew it was important."
JS: Laughing. "I'm sure."
*For all of you dying to know - birds do pee, but one did not pee on my shirt. It was water. Turns out that's what causes the runny-ness that's all over my car windows right now.
"Cool New Bar in Cudahy"
Okay, if you know the area - it's kind of an oxymoron, but still I've heard rumors.
The first rumor is it's called City Lounge, or City Sights, or something of that nature. It's owned by Joe Jr., again if you know the area you've probably seen him at Landmark 1850 which he also runs. He's the owner of a great beer line called Three Dachshunds which I strongly recommend you trying. The other rumor is that it's on the corner of Layton & KK on the little edge where Milwaukee meets Cudahy, right after St. Francis and a jont down from Bay View.
Monday nights are $5.00 martinis, the same sense as Landmark I might add, so I'm checking it out tonight and reporting back tomorrow.
The first rumor is it's called City Lounge, or City Sights, or something of that nature. It's owned by Joe Jr., again if you know the area you've probably seen him at Landmark 1850 which he also runs. He's the owner of a great beer line called Three Dachshunds which I strongly recommend you trying. The other rumor is that it's on the corner of Layton & KK on the little edge where Milwaukee meets Cudahy, right after St. Francis and a jont down from Bay View.
Monday nights are $5.00 martinis, the same sense as Landmark I might add, so I'm checking it out tonight and reporting back tomorrow.
Breaking Up & Respecting Others
Maybe it's the Lutheran up bringing or maybe it's just a point of life - I've always lived by the fact that you respect others (do unto others anyone?). Even if you don't respect yourself, you put others first. Maybe this is a fault of my own; however, I refuse to give up this philosophy no matter how many times my heart hurts or I feel the need to cry.
That's why I've decided that it may be in my best interest to break up with Jules. As you've probably read in previous posts, her behavior and judgment patterns have gotten under my skin these days. She's not in a good place, she doesn't respect herself which makes her one of the biggest whores I know. I didn't have a problem with this behavior when it wasn't hurting anyone but her but she's crossing line after line. We've had discussions about her problems, the drinking, the causal sex, the drugs, the suicidal phone calls at 11:45 at night. I tell her that I love her no matter what, but she needs to stop because it's destroying herself. I mean - it's to the point now where I don't want her to meet my male friends because she will try to sleep with them and I don't want them dying of some STD.
In the last 6 weeks she's had encounters with 3 guys that I would deem "nice guys," guys that I see my personality traits in. She drags them along and destroys them, then blames it on them being "stalkers," "psychos," and "bad in bed."
On Sunday, we have our normal outings. Last week she stayed in Chicago to see her ex-boyfriend (another "nice" guy) and blew me off. This week we were supposed to go out on Sunday and instead of driving from Racine to Milwaukee, she went to Chicago. It's not that her blowing me off is what ticked me off, it's because all week I've had to listen to her say that the relationship with the ex would destroy him all over - like she did 3 years ago to the poor guy. But instead she turned around and went to break his heart.
All I could see is my pattern of relationship with these guys, but in opposite. I'm the dudes that put everything on the line for her, that are there to take care of her while she's drunk, to talk to her when she threatens to kill herself, to take her out to dinner to ensure she'll eat. I'm also the dude that stands there with hands down when she just ups and walks away.
I am not willing to have a relationship this way. That's why we need to break up.
That's why I've decided that it may be in my best interest to break up with Jules. As you've probably read in previous posts, her behavior and judgment patterns have gotten under my skin these days. She's not in a good place, she doesn't respect herself which makes her one of the biggest whores I know. I didn't have a problem with this behavior when it wasn't hurting anyone but her but she's crossing line after line. We've had discussions about her problems, the drinking, the causal sex, the drugs, the suicidal phone calls at 11:45 at night. I tell her that I love her no matter what, but she needs to stop because it's destroying herself. I mean - it's to the point now where I don't want her to meet my male friends because she will try to sleep with them and I don't want them dying of some STD.
In the last 6 weeks she's had encounters with 3 guys that I would deem "nice guys," guys that I see my personality traits in. She drags them along and destroys them, then blames it on them being "stalkers," "psychos," and "bad in bed."
On Sunday, we have our normal outings. Last week she stayed in Chicago to see her ex-boyfriend (another "nice" guy) and blew me off. This week we were supposed to go out on Sunday and instead of driving from Racine to Milwaukee, she went to Chicago. It's not that her blowing me off is what ticked me off, it's because all week I've had to listen to her say that the relationship with the ex would destroy him all over - like she did 3 years ago to the poor guy. But instead she turned around and went to break his heart.
All I could see is my pattern of relationship with these guys, but in opposite. I'm the dudes that put everything on the line for her, that are there to take care of her while she's drunk, to talk to her when she threatens to kill herself, to take her out to dinner to ensure she'll eat. I'm also the dude that stands there with hands down when she just ups and walks away.
I am not willing to have a relationship this way. That's why we need to break up.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
The Delete Factor.
I got slightly toasted before getting home and after leaving work. I suited up for a run. About 1/2 way through there was a park and I felt this intranssient need to lay under a tree as I picked up my cell phone and entered the delete zone.
Thinking that it was time to revamp my life, I thought it would be best to delete anyone that I searched out in drunken stoopers for a little nooky. So "RS" bit the dust, as did "MG" and "BG" and "CB" and "FG," delete when the "Stalker" and the guitarist. I said adios to random Brian's, Kevin's, Chris's and Michaels.
I closed my phone, shut my eyes and then quickly reopened them. What had I just done? I got back up and ran another mile as hard as I could. I got to my door and was leaned over on my knees breathing hard when it dawned on me that my little actions will be quite enlightening since they would have to call me instead of me calling them. Deep breath.
Thinking that it was time to revamp my life, I thought it would be best to delete anyone that I searched out in drunken stoopers for a little nooky. So "RS" bit the dust, as did "MG" and "BG" and "CB" and "FG," delete when the "Stalker" and the guitarist. I said adios to random Brian's, Kevin's, Chris's and Michaels.
I closed my phone, shut my eyes and then quickly reopened them. What had I just done? I got back up and ran another mile as hard as I could. I got to my door and was leaned over on my knees breathing hard when it dawned on me that my little actions will be quite enlightening since they would have to call me instead of me calling them. Deep breath.
Thinking about leaving.
I went for a run yesterday and forgot my newest MP3 player. I was relieved when I found my old Rio. As I was finishing the corner, and out of breath, "Hang" came on. I forgot how much I love this song by Matchbox 20. I walked up to my door and went outside on the porch with the Bumpkin.
This song always make me want to pack up and leave for Canada.
Because there is no video for this song, check out this cover by a you-tub-er.
This song always make me want to pack up and leave for Canada.
Because there is no video for this song, check out this cover by a you-tub-er.
Was I in a Time Warp?
Remember being 16 and driving around, there would be another cute guy in the car next to you and you'd flirt back and forth, eventually popping a sheet of paper up in the window with your name and number?
Yeah, this morning was kind of like that. Running late, I jump on 794 and speed downtown. I glance over to the white van next to me as a guy is looking right at me. I turn forward, only to see him looking still. He's pointing to his left finger and shaking his head. I laughed, flashed that I too, had no ring and got off my exit. It was odd to say the least.
Yeah, this morning was kind of like that. Running late, I jump on 794 and speed downtown. I glance over to the white van next to me as a guy is looking right at me. I turn forward, only to see him looking still. He's pointing to his left finger and shaking his head. I laughed, flashed that I too, had no ring and got off my exit. It was odd to say the least.
Friday, June 08, 2007
What are you doing this weekend?
Today was pay day - yeah day! I paid off all my bills and have just enough to get a new digital camera that will be 1/2 way decent. I'm wondering if it would be poor taste to give my old camera to my Little who loves photography... I think I'll ask her mom if she would be okay with that before I do it.
Big plans for this weekend though. Jules is inviting me to meet Mr. Right that she's convinced that she'll marry tonight. I'm going to try to con them into bowling so I can skit out of there a bit early since work begins at ... drum roll please - 7:30 tomorrow (yes, it's Saturday). Then I'll stick around, do some unsubs and head out at 1:30 to softball practice with, gasp, NA. Let me introduce you to NA. Nice Ass. It started in bowling, this cocky guy with 2 bowling balls that was awful cute kept guttering it. Drunk and funny, I told him I watch his nice ass so he could get a strike - and there it was. It was an on going joke.
So fast forward to the end of bowling season and I invited him to batter up with us in softball to which he agreed. Despite telling me every week that he was going to show, he has yet to make an appearance. I sent him an email explaining how throughly disappointed I was since I suddenly became an amazing pitcher overnight. We've been bantering since Tuesday and I do believe that I may have suddenly become a bit intrigued.
When divulging our weekend plans (he had none) I invited him out to softball practice to which, in my surprise, he said yes. Then said we needed a better way to stay in contact and forked over his number. Hmmm. We'll see what happens. All I know is I'm really in the mood for a little nooky these days (I know, whine, whine - but it's true - love you though Di!)
Big plans for this weekend though. Jules is inviting me to meet Mr. Right that she's convinced that she'll marry tonight. I'm going to try to con them into bowling so I can skit out of there a bit early since work begins at ... drum roll please - 7:30 tomorrow (yes, it's Saturday). Then I'll stick around, do some unsubs and head out at 1:30 to softball practice with, gasp, NA. Let me introduce you to NA. Nice Ass. It started in bowling, this cocky guy with 2 bowling balls that was awful cute kept guttering it. Drunk and funny, I told him I watch his nice ass so he could get a strike - and there it was. It was an on going joke.
So fast forward to the end of bowling season and I invited him to batter up with us in softball to which he agreed. Despite telling me every week that he was going to show, he has yet to make an appearance. I sent him an email explaining how throughly disappointed I was since I suddenly became an amazing pitcher overnight. We've been bantering since Tuesday and I do believe that I may have suddenly become a bit intrigued.
When divulging our weekend plans (he had none) I invited him out to softball practice to which, in my surprise, he said yes. Then said we needed a better way to stay in contact and forked over his number. Hmmm. We'll see what happens. All I know is I'm really in the mood for a little nooky these days (I know, whine, whine - but it's true - love you though Di!)
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Just Tired.
This week has been atrocious with hours. I had my meetup on Tuesday, softball yesterday, Big Sister tonight, Jules wants me to meet her friend on Friday night, work from 8am-1:30pm on Saturday followed by softball practice, Sunday I've gotta go out by my parents and start getting together lists for my mom's surprise party. I feel like there's no time to really rest. I'm afraid I'm going to have to bail on Jules as I want to clean my house, and - get this, it's shocking - maybe relax with out the expectation of meeting someone or paying for drinks.
In another news, I ROCKED OUT SOFTBALL LAST NIGHT. I yanked my calf muscle and was not in any shape to play but still went to the game to cheer on the team. Turns out the sprinkles outside scared everyone away and the option was I play or we forfeit. With no shoes, Coach put me on catching until E whined about pitching. So she gave me her shoes (I had only wore flip flops) and I entered the mound. The first five pitches were atrocious until one of our guys yelled to take a step and then throw. Every pitch was perfect! We still lost, but at the end the outfielders yelled "Looks like we got a new pitcher!" and even the a** on our team kept saying "great pitch. beautiful pitch." So that was pretty darn sweet, worth the swollen calf.
What else do I have for you? Not much to report. The love front has been more than dry. I haven't even kissed anyone in 2 weeks.
Something new and exciting - found a new blog that's got 4 contributors called "No Sex & The City" which is quite entertaining - please check it out! NO SEX & THE CITY
In another news, I ROCKED OUT SOFTBALL LAST NIGHT. I yanked my calf muscle and was not in any shape to play but still went to the game to cheer on the team. Turns out the sprinkles outside scared everyone away and the option was I play or we forfeit. With no shoes, Coach put me on catching until E whined about pitching. So she gave me her shoes (I had only wore flip flops) and I entered the mound. The first five pitches were atrocious until one of our guys yelled to take a step and then throw. Every pitch was perfect! We still lost, but at the end the outfielders yelled "Looks like we got a new pitcher!" and even the a** on our team kept saying "great pitch. beautiful pitch." So that was pretty darn sweet, worth the swollen calf.
What else do I have for you? Not much to report. The love front has been more than dry. I haven't even kissed anyone in 2 weeks.
Something new and exciting - found a new blog that's got 4 contributors called "No Sex & The City" which is quite entertaining - please check it out! NO SEX & THE CITY
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Taking a step back.
Jules and I went out last night, I can't say that I'm back in that place before her nasty comment on Friday, but I can't help being there when someone needs me. I'm one of those people that will take in every stray cat or dog ... or person. She recounted her weekend in Chicago to which I nodded my head. I stayed pretty silent during our 2 hour meeting as she told me she needed to stop being a whore and get her head on straight. I nodded. "Baby steps." she said. After her chatter for about 45 straight minutes, she asked if I had heard from TW - I just shook my head "No" - afraid to say that I still hoped he called because that would mean I "bitched non-stop" about it. So I left it at that, finished my beer and headed home and straight to bed after my 12 hour work day.
On the drive home I started reflecting on the theory of the Universe that my boss lives by - put it 100% out there for the Universe, ask what you want and be clear about it, and you'll get it. Her philosophy was that I put out to the Universe that this guy was a train wreck, so it didn't want me to have him. It seemed to make sense.
So I've deleted RS so I have no capability of getting a hold of him, no matter how long it is before I have sex again and I've decided to be very clear about something for the first time in three and a half years... I want to be with someone and not just in the seeing fashion, in the real relationship sense.
No more destructive relationships.
On the drive home I started reflecting on the theory of the Universe that my boss lives by - put it 100% out there for the Universe, ask what you want and be clear about it, and you'll get it. Her philosophy was that I put out to the Universe that this guy was a train wreck, so it didn't want me to have him. It seemed to make sense.
So I've deleted RS so I have no capability of getting a hold of him, no matter how long it is before I have sex again and I've decided to be very clear about something for the first time in three and a half years... I want to be with someone and not just in the seeing fashion, in the real relationship sense.
No more destructive relationships.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
It's a better day.
Today is a much better day compared to yesterday. While sitting at Long's waiting for E to show up for her ticket, I got the "knew-it-was-coming" phone call where she bailed. I sighed, having just ponied up the $200 I owed #1 for all the tickets that were bought. So I called AD from the bar the other night and he trotted out to meet us. Now I'm an actual fan, so this tends to be the only event where I don't pay attention to my phone - call it the summer version of Heroes, but for godsake, please leave me alone for 3 hours to enjoy the like of JJ Hardy & Ryan Braun's butts. That's all a girl wants, oh that and to yell "Fuck Mench!" when they bring him out in the end because it's a hopeless loss. I digress.
About 1/2 way through the game I realize that Jules and E have called and texted at least 1/2 a dozen times, so I listen in on the "why are you angry at me" voicemails which make me teeter on the crazy side. I convince myself to not be a spineless twit and stand up for myself, so I angle back and send a not-so-nice text to E, telling her to get off my nuts - I'm not mad, just a freaking baseball fan. On the way to the High I called Jules who was practically in tears as I declared for the 90th time that nothing was wrong, I just wanted to enjoy my day.
After too many drinks with the AD, I headed home and woke up this morning with a hell of a headache. Thank goodness for meeting after meeting to keep me pre-occupied and for Tylenol. Around noon I realize that I'm now free to sleep with whomever I please, being that the end-of-relationship STD testing came back negative and it's been over 3 weeks since I slept with RS. It's kind of a great feeling and my breasts look fabulous today, so maybe I'll have that end of the night cocktail when my day ends around 8pm....
About 1/2 way through the game I realize that Jules and E have called and texted at least 1/2 a dozen times, so I listen in on the "why are you angry at me" voicemails which make me teeter on the crazy side. I convince myself to not be a spineless twit and stand up for myself, so I angle back and send a not-so-nice text to E, telling her to get off my nuts - I'm not mad, just a freaking baseball fan. On the way to the High I called Jules who was practically in tears as I declared for the 90th time that nothing was wrong, I just wanted to enjoy my day.
After too many drinks with the AD, I headed home and woke up this morning with a hell of a headache. Thank goodness for meeting after meeting to keep me pre-occupied and for Tylenol. Around noon I realize that I'm now free to sleep with whomever I please, being that the end-of-relationship STD testing came back negative and it's been over 3 weeks since I slept with RS. It's kind of a great feeling and my breasts look fabulous today, so maybe I'll have that end of the night cocktail when my day ends around 8pm....
Monday, June 04, 2007
Dreams.
Dear lord. I'm pretty sure it's not just the now 4 weeks of no-nookie, but I have been having the greatest sexual dreams since Friday. In fact, I woke up at 7:00 on Saturday morning and forced myself back to sleep because I didn't want it to end and I was irate at 11am when Jules called and texted over and over not allowing me to fully engage myself in my head.
Most of the dreams were actually related to past events with RS; however, it didn't feature RS - in fact he really had no face at all. I need to look up what that means...
Most of the dreams were actually related to past events with RS; however, it didn't feature RS - in fact he really had no face at all. I need to look up what that means...
Changing People.
So the old additive is that you can' t change people, but what if the person that you want to change is yourself? How would that work?
Over the last couple days I've been thinking about my reputation as "such a nice person" and how it rarely gets me anywhere but walked on and hurt. I know plenty of not-so-nice people that tend to get whatever their little hearts desire, from money to men to sex. I've tried to turn into one of these people before, but I always fall back into my comfort zone and end up being that "nice person" again. So what does a person have to do to change?
I used to be a horribly mean person, really. In high school my junior and senior year I was known as a bitch. I changed myself because I hated the reputation. In my sophomore year I had a life changing experience which made me dislike a lot of people that I formally loved, 1/2 way into my senior year I let go of that anger and became the person that people know today - the person that would do anything for anyone at
any time. I'm not saying I want to go back to the hard-ass, I'm just thinking that a little bit of bitchiness might go a long way.
I was chatting with #1 about a situation that occurred on Friday and related how I want to stop being a nice person. He told me it was impossible, because that's not who I am and it's not who I will ever be because it's ingrained in my soul to be who I am. I know he's right but I sometimes wonder how different it would be if I wasn't.
The situation that occurred involved Jules, the girl I've been hanging out around with a lot these days because she's another hurt soul I want to save. One of the huge standards of our friendship has always been "no judgment" which means we can say anything we want about what's going on personally with out the other person passing any kind of conclusion on who we are. For instance, she's a whore. A big huge whore. A whore that has slept with so many of my friends that I have to be careful who goes in what circle. In fact, when she meet #1 I actually had to put my foot down and tell her that if she chose to sleep with him I would no longer be friends with her anymore, regardless of the situation, I would always choose him over her. She's also an alcoholic which feeds into the whore-ness. She will get loaded every day and go home with a stranger than proceed to tell me the details and cry on my shoulder that the person she's been with hasn't called back. (I know that is a huge statement of judgment, but I don't hold it against her, I just try to help her through it).
Jules was with me when we met the young guy (YG) and TW on Sunday Fun Day. In fact, it was me acting as her wing woman so she could sleep with YG that ended with me actually liking TW. YG is probably the most stand-up, respectful guy you've ever met in your entire life. His heart is gold, he's been through hell and yet he gives and gives. After pulling him along for 3 weeks, YG approached Jules about her feelings towards him in which she informed him that she wanted nothing more than a friendship which hurt the hell out of the poor guy. I saw him two days after and saw a shell of a guy. No matter what her feelings were towards him, it didn't matter to me I wanted him to be happy.
So on Thursday night I had a dream I was at the High with R and they met, fell in love and lived happily ever after. I woke up and immediately asked Jules for his number so I could set them up. At first, she sent it over but after about 3 hours I got a phone call.
"So I need to ask you something."
MG:
"Shoot, but it can't be long because I'm working."
"Is this a pathetic ploy to get back into TW's life?"
At this point I was more than irate. I had already been out with her the 3 previous nights and made no mention of TW unless a friend brought it up. Each time it came up in conversation she would tell my friend she's been listening to me bitch about it for a week. It takes a lot to piss me off, but she was incredibly successful at it. I finally had enough.
"Now I'm pissed. I'm not that type of person, he's a great guy that should be with someone great and if that someone isn't you than I'll find someone who is. I can't even believe you just said that! This doesn't make me want to tell you anything. Don't get this way on me because you threw away gold and don't want anyone to have it. Now, I'm at work so I'll talk to you later."
4 phone calls and a crying message later, I was in my car on my way home when I returned her call. She asked me not to be mad, that she was "just looking out for me" and I informed her it was fine, not to worry, but that YG and R were meeting at 9:30 at the Palamino.
So what happens? She shows up at 9:28. And after they meet and like eachother? She proceeds to get sloshed and call him. Of course.
When it comes down to it, the above situation may not have occurred if I was a bitch. (A) I wouldn't have let Jules walk all over me time and time again and (B) I wouldn't have tried to set YG up because he was a nice guy (C) My actions of setting YG and R up would not have come into question as a "ploy."
So maybe this post is a little less of changing myself and a little more of realizing who to surround myself with. Or maybe it's just a vent.
Over the last couple days I've been thinking about my reputation as "such a nice person" and how it rarely gets me anywhere but walked on and hurt. I know plenty of not-so-nice people that tend to get whatever their little hearts desire, from money to men to sex. I've tried to turn into one of these people before, but I always fall back into my comfort zone and end up being that "nice person" again. So what does a person have to do to change?
I used to be a horribly mean person, really. In high school my junior and senior year I was known as a bitch. I changed myself because I hated the reputation. In my sophomore year I had a life changing experience which made me dislike a lot of people that I formally loved, 1/2 way into my senior year I let go of that anger and became the person that people know today - the person that would do anything for anyone at
any time. I'm not saying I want to go back to the hard-ass, I'm just thinking that a little bit of bitchiness might go a long way.
I was chatting with #1 about a situation that occurred on Friday and related how I want to stop being a nice person. He told me it was impossible, because that's not who I am and it's not who I will ever be because it's ingrained in my soul to be who I am. I know he's right but I sometimes wonder how different it would be if I wasn't.
The situation that occurred involved Jules, the girl I've been hanging out around with a lot these days because she's another hurt soul I want to save. One of the huge standards of our friendship has always been "no judgment" which means we can say anything we want about what's going on personally with out the other person passing any kind of conclusion on who we are. For instance, she's a whore. A big huge whore. A whore that has slept with so many of my friends that I have to be careful who goes in what circle. In fact, when she meet #1 I actually had to put my foot down and tell her that if she chose to sleep with him I would no longer be friends with her anymore, regardless of the situation, I would always choose him over her. She's also an alcoholic which feeds into the whore-ness. She will get loaded every day and go home with a stranger than proceed to tell me the details and cry on my shoulder that the person she's been with hasn't called back. (I know that is a huge statement of judgment, but I don't hold it against her, I just try to help her through it).
Jules was with me when we met the young guy (YG) and TW on Sunday Fun Day. In fact, it was me acting as her wing woman so she could sleep with YG that ended with me actually liking TW. YG is probably the most stand-up, respectful guy you've ever met in your entire life. His heart is gold, he's been through hell and yet he gives and gives. After pulling him along for 3 weeks, YG approached Jules about her feelings towards him in which she informed him that she wanted nothing more than a friendship which hurt the hell out of the poor guy. I saw him two days after and saw a shell of a guy. No matter what her feelings were towards him, it didn't matter to me I wanted him to be happy.
So on Thursday night I had a dream I was at the High with R and they met, fell in love and lived happily ever after. I woke up and immediately asked Jules for his number so I could set them up. At first, she sent it over but after about 3 hours I got a phone call.
"So I need to ask you something."
MG:
"Shoot, but it can't be long because I'm working."
"Is this a pathetic ploy to get back into TW's life?"
At this point I was more than irate. I had already been out with her the 3 previous nights and made no mention of TW unless a friend brought it up. Each time it came up in conversation she would tell my friend she's been listening to me bitch about it for a week. It takes a lot to piss me off, but she was incredibly successful at it. I finally had enough.
"Now I'm pissed. I'm not that type of person, he's a great guy that should be with someone great and if that someone isn't you than I'll find someone who is. I can't even believe you just said that! This doesn't make me want to tell you anything. Don't get this way on me because you threw away gold and don't want anyone to have it. Now, I'm at work so I'll talk to you later."
4 phone calls and a crying message later, I was in my car on my way home when I returned her call. She asked me not to be mad, that she was "just looking out for me" and I informed her it was fine, not to worry, but that YG and R were meeting at 9:30 at the Palamino.
So what happens? She shows up at 9:28. And after they meet and like eachother? She proceeds to get sloshed and call him. Of course.
When it comes down to it, the above situation may not have occurred if I was a bitch. (A) I wouldn't have let Jules walk all over me time and time again and (B) I wouldn't have tried to set YG up because he was a nice guy (C) My actions of setting YG and R up would not have come into question as a "ploy."
So maybe this post is a little less of changing myself and a little more of realizing who to surround myself with. Or maybe it's just a vent.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Ignorance by Nurture not Nature
I was out with my little yesterday, enjoying a dinner when I asked her about schools. She informed me that she wanted to go to the all girls school, "but there's lots of lesbians there and I ain't hanging out with no dykes." I was in shock - it's 2007 and this is the kind of ignorance we're breeding into our children? I did my best to smooth the situation telling her that in my industry there are lots of gay people and they're just like us - that it's my belief that you're born that way so if you're straight a gay person is very unlikely to turn you. Her ignorance didn't want to be heard. Here we were at my favorite cafe and I was bright red with embarrassment since she didn't feel the need to be quiet about her beliefs.
That's when I realized being a Big isn't going to be all fun and games, it's going to be educational and eye opening. Change starts with one person.
On the other hand, JF got let go due to budget restraints so I finally was able to sneak a night away from him. We haven't seen each other in a couple months, so when he saw me he hugged me and said, "I don't think I've ever seen you look this good!" I explained that people have been saying that a lot ever since I started feeling like shit - but I've been running and eating right as to get my mind off of men these days and it seems to be working out okay for me. It was a much needed ego-boost on my behalf.
That's when I realized being a Big isn't going to be all fun and games, it's going to be educational and eye opening. Change starts with one person.
On the other hand, JF got let go due to budget restraints so I finally was able to sneak a night away from him. We haven't seen each other in a couple months, so when he saw me he hugged me and said, "I don't think I've ever seen you look this good!" I explained that people have been saying that a lot ever since I started feeling like shit - but I've been running and eating right as to get my mind off of men these days and it seems to be working out okay for me. It was a much needed ego-boost on my behalf.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Hijinks at the Highbury
Oh my. Last night I was enjoy a cocktail at the Highbury and witnessed flashing by both men and women, overheard a man-scaping conversation (which reminded me of TW's 'situation' in that area) and almost fell off my chair laughing at the bartender and owner joking around. This is why it's my favorite bar.
Today is a day of meetings, straight away from 9am I've had a meeting on the hour every hour until 5:00. Then I'll promptly get my Little and take a little walk with her puppies, head over to Lu's for dinner, go for a run and then hit the sack. No going out tonight.
It's coming up on three weeks of not getting laid and I'm getting anxious. Glad it's a good thing that things didn't work out with TW or I'd be screwing his brains out left and right. In fact, I keep thinking that if he'd ever call he might just get laid because I'm itching. But the truth is, he won't (call or get laid). I toyed with texting RS last night to try to be back in his good graces, but I think that ones a deadman walking. The more I think about it (which has been happening a lot these days) the more I'm thinking a hiatus might be exactly what I need - from drinking and men. Maybe not full on from drinking, but full on for men. The scary thing is that bad apples tend to ruin the whole barrel when it comes to me. Past experiences with the guitarist taught me not to rush into sex and after the TW blow job incident, poor guys won't be getting on the receiving end of that for a long time as well.
Today is a day of meetings, straight away from 9am I've had a meeting on the hour every hour until 5:00. Then I'll promptly get my Little and take a little walk with her puppies, head over to Lu's for dinner, go for a run and then hit the sack. No going out tonight.
It's coming up on three weeks of not getting laid and I'm getting anxious. Glad it's a good thing that things didn't work out with TW or I'd be screwing his brains out left and right. In fact, I keep thinking that if he'd ever call he might just get laid because I'm itching. But the truth is, he won't (call or get laid). I toyed with texting RS last night to try to be back in his good graces, but I think that ones a deadman walking. The more I think about it (which has been happening a lot these days) the more I'm thinking a hiatus might be exactly what I need - from drinking and men. Maybe not full on from drinking, but full on for men. The scary thing is that bad apples tend to ruin the whole barrel when it comes to me. Past experiences with the guitarist taught me not to rush into sex and after the TW blow job incident, poor guys won't be getting on the receiving end of that for a long time as well.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Randoms for the Day.
(A) I can't wait for Bitten on June 7. Do you know the story of Starbury? It's off the same rim thanks to Steve & Barry's, affordable, high quality merchandise. I mean kids are FREAKING over the Starbury shoes that S&B actually has signs limiting the purchases to 10 pairs. 10 pairs! Do you know how many kids I've seen that load up with 10 pairs? A lot. And they range from $10.00 to $14.00. It's insane. So the lovely Ms. Sarah Jessica Parker got on the trend to start what she proudly wears as, "Fashion should not be a luxury." I already like a lot of the S&B clothes, now I'm itching to see what SJP has done.
(B) My heart sank. I didn't fully believe TW would respond, but even still when I checked my personal email it said "You have a new message on MYSPACE" I hesitated to open it, wanting to grab the nearest person and make them read it and then tell me if I'd cry. Instead it turned out to be J, who will be at the game on Monday with her boyfriend and wanted to see if we could meet up.
(C) Milwaukee's got it's own celebrity fling. Visit TMZ and see that "hot blonde" that Taylor Hicks is making out with? Turns out it could be Milwaukee's own WISN anchor Caroline Lyders. In the onmilwaukee.com exclusive she mentions that their friends, but won't comment on her personal life.
(D) I'm over FUEL and their crapped up hype. All I keep hearing about is how great this organization is (formally YPM), but as a paid member for 3 so years, I can say it's the organization I detest going to the most. They have some great speakers, which makes the cost worth it, but be prepared to go to cold shoulders of lawyers and bankers. Unlike it's counterpart MMAC's Business After Hours where people actually are friendly and talk, their social hours are drawn out and boring. I'm not sure where they're getting all their backing from, as my friends that have been members all feel the same about it. It's good in theory - not in implementation. And on that note, other "YPM" organizations like Ad 2 Milwaukee have fallen off the radar - what the heck happened there? Another $100 membership down the tubes. They don't even update their site. I'll stick with BMA thank you very much.
(E)In rethinking my current positioning, I think that perhaps going out with NMG (not married guy) isn't a good idea. The man could have fathered me. The sad part is I'm just lonely and he's good company. I think Captain needs to stay in his bottle so my tongue stays in my mouth around him.
(F) My new favorite snack is pretzel chips.
(B) My heart sank. I didn't fully believe TW would respond, but even still when I checked my personal email it said "You have a new message on MYSPACE" I hesitated to open it, wanting to grab the nearest person and make them read it and then tell me if I'd cry. Instead it turned out to be J, who will be at the game on Monday with her boyfriend and wanted to see if we could meet up.
(C) Milwaukee's got it's own celebrity fling. Visit TMZ and see that "hot blonde" that Taylor Hicks is making out with? Turns out it could be Milwaukee's own WISN anchor Caroline Lyders. In the onmilwaukee.com exclusive she mentions that their friends, but won't comment on her personal life.
(D) I'm over FUEL and their crapped up hype. All I keep hearing about is how great this organization is (formally YPM), but as a paid member for 3 so years, I can say it's the organization I detest going to the most. They have some great speakers, which makes the cost worth it, but be prepared to go to cold shoulders of lawyers and bankers. Unlike it's counterpart MMAC's Business After Hours where people actually are friendly and talk, their social hours are drawn out and boring. I'm not sure where they're getting all their backing from, as my friends that have been members all feel the same about it. It's good in theory - not in implementation. And on that note, other "YPM" organizations like Ad 2 Milwaukee have fallen off the radar - what the heck happened there? Another $100 membership down the tubes. They don't even update their site. I'll stick with BMA thank you very much.
(E)In rethinking my current positioning, I think that perhaps going out with NMG (not married guy) isn't a good idea. The man could have fathered me. The sad part is I'm just lonely and he's good company. I think Captain needs to stay in his bottle so my tongue stays in my mouth around him.
(F) My new favorite snack is pretzel chips.
Something that made me laugh.
Check out the original article HERE, but the following excerpt made me laugh because I have been in the awful position of the Pornstar Lover before ...
Playing the Passion Guru
Kudos for trying to guide your guy or girl to a mind-blowing climax. But, newsflash, it's a lot less likely to happen when you keep twisting them this way and that, trying to impress them with your porn-star moves. Sure, a little variety keeps things spicy, but to certify satisfaction, find a move that works and stick with it until things reach their logical conclusion.
Playing the Passion Guru
Kudos for trying to guide your guy or girl to a mind-blowing climax. But, newsflash, it's a lot less likely to happen when you keep twisting them this way and that, trying to impress them with your porn-star moves. Sure, a little variety keeps things spicy, but to certify satisfaction, find a move that works and stick with it until things reach their logical conclusion.
Switching it up plan.
I'm not the only idiot that does stuff like this, I swear.
I woke up completely at 5am. I wasn't sure what I should exactly do - I knew the gym would be the right option but I just couldn't scum up enough to bring myself there, so I sat on the edge of my bed and surveyed my apartment. I started cleaning my closet on Sunday, there's clothes scattered all around, and I realize that things need to change so I can start the next step in life.
I'm not getting any action in the bedroom, so that closet is getting cleaned tonight and I'm moving my bed to switch up the bedroom karma. My kitchen is almost done being painted, so I'll finish that this weekend and maybe it will incite some healthy cooking on my part. The back room, my office, still has my desk in a box. I'm going to man up and build that thing with in the next week.
And then there's the "Why am I hung up on this guy?" karma that needs some reconfiguring. This weekend Jules & #1 were at lunch with me when I overheard them discussing their relationship with me. #1 informed Jules that sometimes the only thing that keeps him out of the gray area is me, that we've become each other's rocks with no strings attached. Jules said that before life was very black and white when it came to relationships, but now she sees there's a lot of gray and has gone from "he loves me" to "it's okay to just have great friends and not date." It's a compliment - I think.
The one thing about Jules is that she's gorgeous and poised, it's not the love/or not situation, it's the factoring that guys always fall in love with her. That doesn't happen to me, that's why I have the philosophy on not dating. I informed her of this last night as we sat at the bar watching the game. She informed me that it's not true since I'm hung on TW. I tried to explain that it's really been 3 some years since I've behaved this way (with the exception of RS, of course) and that I think I get allowed the poker chip on this guy. I tried my best the first week to convince myself not to like him, but by Friday he said he would miss me and I fell hook-line-and-sinker for it. When I returned on Sunday I had given up RS and looked forward to allowing myself to have a relationship, in that same amount of time he decided not to with me. Love bites, but it's okay.
I was still checking my phone every two seconds, kicking myself for deleting him out of my life when it dawned on me at 5am that he had a myspace page. So I looked him up and wrote him a Dear John note. I told him I lost his number and I wasn't sure why he changed his mind about me, but that I'm always here if he needs to just talk or sit in silence and watch the baseball game. I said I didn't have his number, but he had mine so he should feel free to use it. And then I said good-bye.
I know that he probably won't write back, it's like when I found CW and just needed to say that I missed him. It was a day of checking emails and a little sadness that I, once again, wasn't good enough. But then I realize it's his loss and not mine.
So I hope I closed the chapter on TW.
I woke up completely at 5am. I wasn't sure what I should exactly do - I knew the gym would be the right option but I just couldn't scum up enough to bring myself there, so I sat on the edge of my bed and surveyed my apartment. I started cleaning my closet on Sunday, there's clothes scattered all around, and I realize that things need to change so I can start the next step in life.
I'm not getting any action in the bedroom, so that closet is getting cleaned tonight and I'm moving my bed to switch up the bedroom karma. My kitchen is almost done being painted, so I'll finish that this weekend and maybe it will incite some healthy cooking on my part. The back room, my office, still has my desk in a box. I'm going to man up and build that thing with in the next week.
And then there's the "Why am I hung up on this guy?" karma that needs some reconfiguring. This weekend Jules & #1 were at lunch with me when I overheard them discussing their relationship with me. #1 informed Jules that sometimes the only thing that keeps him out of the gray area is me, that we've become each other's rocks with no strings attached. Jules said that before life was very black and white when it came to relationships, but now she sees there's a lot of gray and has gone from "he loves me" to "it's okay to just have great friends and not date." It's a compliment - I think.
The one thing about Jules is that she's gorgeous and poised, it's not the love/or not situation, it's the factoring that guys always fall in love with her. That doesn't happen to me, that's why I have the philosophy on not dating. I informed her of this last night as we sat at the bar watching the game. She informed me that it's not true since I'm hung on TW. I tried to explain that it's really been 3 some years since I've behaved this way (with the exception of RS, of course) and that I think I get allowed the poker chip on this guy. I tried my best the first week to convince myself not to like him, but by Friday he said he would miss me and I fell hook-line-and-sinker for it. When I returned on Sunday I had given up RS and looked forward to allowing myself to have a relationship, in that same amount of time he decided not to with me. Love bites, but it's okay.
I was still checking my phone every two seconds, kicking myself for deleting him out of my life when it dawned on me at 5am that he had a myspace page. So I looked him up and wrote him a Dear John note. I told him I lost his number and I wasn't sure why he changed his mind about me, but that I'm always here if he needs to just talk or sit in silence and watch the baseball game. I said I didn't have his number, but he had mine so he should feel free to use it. And then I said good-bye.
I know that he probably won't write back, it's like when I found CW and just needed to say that I missed him. It was a day of checking emails and a little sadness that I, once again, wasn't good enough. But then I realize it's his loss and not mine.
So I hope I closed the chapter on TW.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Oops. Didn't mention the kiss.
You probably want to know why Jules said to drop the rules ... it might be that Married Guy and I may have kissed. While out with E & Jules I went to the bathroom to come back and hear "so you're going through a divorce?" Blame it on the Captains, before he left I stood up and said, "Since I know I can actually do this...." I kissed him. He said Wow. I said we should get together soon.
He left with his hands in his pocket.
Did I mention that he could actually be my dad? He's 17 years older than I am .....
He left with his hands in his pocket.
Did I mention that he could actually be my dad? He's 17 years older than I am .....
What I really meant to say was ... F' Off.
My weekend can be summed up in one phrase - F'Off.
On Wednesday, TW and I talked about going out on Friday after his son's birthday party. On Friday I called him at noon to say that I was looking forward to Friday night and got pushed off to the point I was ashamed I called. At 9:15 I was dolled up and meeting Jules out (hoping TW would join) when I get a "can't go out" phone call. I told him I pretty much figured when I talked to him earlier. He apologized saying that the kids were too rambunctious and it was "a birthday weekend" and I "uh-huhed" for awhile before saying one more time "I figured at noon. Talk to you later." Click.
Of course, turns out I bump into his ex-brother-in-law as I'm trying to get into Lulu's and when he asked how we were doing I said, "He's an ass. That's how he's doing. No, I take it back - he's not the same guy as week one." And finally escape to the reclusive bar.
Saturday I checked my phone about 900 times and he never called, same with Sunday and Monday. So F'Off TW.
On Monday, I went out with Jules and really wanted to tell her F'Off when she told me that I needed to get rid of my 4 rules that they were what was stopping me from getting into a real relationship. F'Off! that's all I ask - and anyone should do it any way....
On Wednesday, TW and I talked about going out on Friday after his son's birthday party. On Friday I called him at noon to say that I was looking forward to Friday night and got pushed off to the point I was ashamed I called. At 9:15 I was dolled up and meeting Jules out (hoping TW would join) when I get a "can't go out" phone call. I told him I pretty much figured when I talked to him earlier. He apologized saying that the kids were too rambunctious and it was "a birthday weekend" and I "uh-huhed" for awhile before saying one more time "I figured at noon. Talk to you later." Click.
Of course, turns out I bump into his ex-brother-in-law as I'm trying to get into Lulu's and when he asked how we were doing I said, "He's an ass. That's how he's doing. No, I take it back - he's not the same guy as week one." And finally escape to the reclusive bar.
Saturday I checked my phone about 900 times and he never called, same with Sunday and Monday. So F'Off TW.
On Monday, I went out with Jules and really wanted to tell her F'Off when she told me that I needed to get rid of my 4 rules that they were what was stopping me from getting into a real relationship. F'Off! that's all I ask - and anyone should do it any way....
Friday, May 25, 2007
The Thin Line.
So first the recap of the Big stuff and then onto more sexually empowered writing.
I met my little who is great. I was weary because I already mentor college kids in the 18-21 range and I wanted this to be different and she's 15. I realized there's a big difference between 15 and 18. She's very quiet, looking for a friend. Her dad's in jail, she has 3 brothers and her mom has to work a lot. It's kind of sad but she keeps good spirits about it. When we were chatting I realized that college isn't the first thing in her head - she's as smart as a whip and loves reading, writing and photography. Of course, due to the nature of my biz, I think she should look into being a journalist or going into advertising - but instead she wants to be a hairdresser, why? Because everyone around her is. I don't want to make her change her mind if this is really what she wants to do, I just want her to see there are other paths as well. That's my summer mission.
In the more sexual tones, I had hoped that my conversation on Wednesday with TW would make it clear that if I was to see him again and blow him again he would need to call me the next day. In fact, it's not even a hope - it was clearly said. He called after softball, to which I tried to get him to go out with me - he wanted to stay in. After trying 2 bars to watch the Brewer's game (damn no cable) I ended up at his house. By the third inning, they were playing so horribly that he was kissing up on my neck while I looked over his shoulder to see if maybe, just maybe Counsell might catch a ball once. He made his way down my neck to my tits and entertained himself for a few moments. One thing of course led to another, and while I kept my wits about him, I did give in to a blow job in the 7th because I thought I should at least show him how I really give head.
My showcase revealed a couple new discoveries (a) he's not as small as I thought and (b) he did not belong to the crowd that I've been dating in the last 3 years that relies heavily on manscaping. I was shocked to see that much hair when I've been dealing with next to nothing on RS. When push came to shove his hands rested strongly on my shoulders in between deep breaths, "oh my gods" and "that was good." I came up, gave him his pants and said, "That's how I really suck dick. Hopefully you'll call if you liked it (earlier I had told him that I was pissed to not even get a courtesy call the next day, explaining he didn't have to see me he just had to respect that it happened). It was the end of the night, the Brewers lost and I headed home.
All day yesterday I kept checking to see if he would call, but no such luck. I can tell you one thing, pretty sure he's not getting head anytime soon.
I met my little who is great. I was weary because I already mentor college kids in the 18-21 range and I wanted this to be different and she's 15. I realized there's a big difference between 15 and 18. She's very quiet, looking for a friend. Her dad's in jail, she has 3 brothers and her mom has to work a lot. It's kind of sad but she keeps good spirits about it. When we were chatting I realized that college isn't the first thing in her head - she's as smart as a whip and loves reading, writing and photography. Of course, due to the nature of my biz, I think she should look into being a journalist or going into advertising - but instead she wants to be a hairdresser, why? Because everyone around her is. I don't want to make her change her mind if this is really what she wants to do, I just want her to see there are other paths as well. That's my summer mission.
In the more sexual tones, I had hoped that my conversation on Wednesday with TW would make it clear that if I was to see him again and blow him again he would need to call me the next day. In fact, it's not even a hope - it was clearly said. He called after softball, to which I tried to get him to go out with me - he wanted to stay in. After trying 2 bars to watch the Brewer's game (damn no cable) I ended up at his house. By the third inning, they were playing so horribly that he was kissing up on my neck while I looked over his shoulder to see if maybe, just maybe Counsell might catch a ball once. He made his way down my neck to my tits and entertained himself for a few moments. One thing of course led to another, and while I kept my wits about him, I did give in to a blow job in the 7th because I thought I should at least show him how I really give head.
My showcase revealed a couple new discoveries (a) he's not as small as I thought and (b) he did not belong to the crowd that I've been dating in the last 3 years that relies heavily on manscaping. I was shocked to see that much hair when I've been dealing with next to nothing on RS. When push came to shove his hands rested strongly on my shoulders in between deep breaths, "oh my gods" and "that was good." I came up, gave him his pants and said, "That's how I really suck dick. Hopefully you'll call if you liked it (earlier I had told him that I was pissed to not even get a courtesy call the next day, explaining he didn't have to see me he just had to respect that it happened). It was the end of the night, the Brewers lost and I headed home.
All day yesterday I kept checking to see if he would call, but no such luck. I can tell you one thing, pretty sure he's not getting head anytime soon.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Being Big.
Because my horoscope suggested that I investigate my relationship on Wednesday, I decided if TW did decide to call that I would give him a chance to explain. Which he did, to a reasoning I thought was okay being that I was completely in the bag when we talked originally. I ended up at his house, watching the game but not much new after that.
Today I'm dressed to the ten in a white sundress about to hop over to a client meeting and then off to get my hair chopped and then to do something that I'm a little afraid of --- I registered to be a Big Sister and I'll be meeting my "Little" sister tonight. She's really not that little, she's 15 which is older than I had hoped (what 15 year old wants to go to the zoo or a Brewer's game?) but I'm giving it a shot and seeing what will become of it.
Today I'm dressed to the ten in a white sundress about to hop over to a client meeting and then off to get my hair chopped and then to do something that I'm a little afraid of --- I registered to be a Big Sister and I'll be meeting my "Little" sister tonight. She's really not that little, she's 15 which is older than I had hoped (what 15 year old wants to go to the zoo or a Brewer's game?) but I'm giving it a shot and seeing what will become of it.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
A note to men about oral techniques.
Our office talk is sometimes less than professional. One of my designers turned to me and said, "MG. When you get engaged don't ever do the 'no sex' for a year before. I'm hurting."
I smiled, "Not a problem from me. I'd never agree to that. Wait, you can still get head right?"
"Nope." His eyes looked like he was going to cry.
He then asked for a recap on TW. I informed him of my Sunday night maneuver and the lack of phone calls. He laughed and I came to the conclusion that all men should know and respect the following regarding oral technique:
Let me preface by saying, I enjoy "giving head," "sucking dick," "giving an oil change" - whatever you kids are calling it these days. I also swallow.
No one swallows because they are delighted by the frothy taste of semen - and all your spunk has different tastes by the way. One guy I dated tasted like butter and salt, one was so bitter that I felt like I had cotton mouth, one tasted sweet (okay I totally didn't mind swallowing him) and I could keep going on and on at the fear of being labeled a skank in comments. I digress. Swallowing is a mere courtesy to the efforts put into this kind of interaction and because as so many bumper stickers say "Nice Girls Swallow" (yes, the car with that sticker is currently parked next to mine in the garage at work).
Women will give you oral for a number of reasons, including because they know you like it and not limited to the mere fact that it gives us a bit of control over you when your back is arched and you're moaning. However, if you don't have the courtesy to call the next day, your chances of a repeat of the encounter go down. I'm just saying.
I'm also going to just point out that a courtesy phone call or text would be acceptable if she did swallow.
So call.
And ladies, it's very mean if you put out like a rockstar during the dating phases and then you pull the cord on all sexual interaction before the wedding - especially in the time frame of a year - but to each his own.
I smiled, "Not a problem from me. I'd never agree to that. Wait, you can still get head right?"
"Nope." His eyes looked like he was going to cry.
He then asked for a recap on TW. I informed him of my Sunday night maneuver and the lack of phone calls. He laughed and I came to the conclusion that all men should know and respect the following regarding oral technique:
Let me preface by saying, I enjoy "giving head," "sucking dick," "giving an oil change" - whatever you kids are calling it these days. I also swallow.
No one swallows because they are delighted by the frothy taste of semen - and all your spunk has different tastes by the way. One guy I dated tasted like butter and salt, one was so bitter that I felt like I had cotton mouth, one tasted sweet (okay I totally didn't mind swallowing him) and I could keep going on and on at the fear of being labeled a skank in comments. I digress. Swallowing is a mere courtesy to the efforts put into this kind of interaction and because as so many bumper stickers say "Nice Girls Swallow" (yes, the car with that sticker is currently parked next to mine in the garage at work).
Women will give you oral for a number of reasons, including because they know you like it and not limited to the mere fact that it gives us a bit of control over you when your back is arched and you're moaning. However, if you don't have the courtesy to call the next day, your chances of a repeat of the encounter go down. I'm just saying.
I'm also going to just point out that a courtesy phone call or text would be acceptable if she did swallow.
So call.
And ladies, it's very mean if you put out like a rockstar during the dating phases and then you pull the cord on all sexual interaction before the wedding - especially in the time frame of a year - but to each his own.
Judgement.
I believe strongly in the philosophy that there are 4 people in my life that can judge me:
Myself
God
My Mom
My Dad
because of this belief, I will not judge you. I may tell you that I think there's things in your life that could be different, but I will not make you feel bad for getting drunk, for sleeping around, for drugs, etc. I try my best to hold myself to this philosophy but I know a lot of people do judge. Hell, I've been judged here myself by different readers. But the one thing I can't stand is one someone tells you that they're not judging you and then go on to. Believe it or not, I haven't been judged but a friend of mine has.
TW's friend is M, who Jules has been hanging out with. They've been really close and she's been very adamant about telling him that she does not want a relationship, last night it all came to a closer while I was passed out drunk. They got into a fight that ended with the proverbial - I'll never see you again - the "I hope you get everything your looking for in life ..." I know this all too well as I ended with RS on that same note.
Turns out that he said he wasn't judging her, then blasted her for sleeping with people and for going out drinking. He told her that he knew what she wanted in life and she wasn't doing it. She told him that it's only been a bit over a week so he can't know her, not even to say her life. I agree.
So she's sad but relieved. He was a really good guy and I almost wish they ended up together, but I won't judge her on that decision.
On the same topic, did you catch what I just said above? She was with M all last night, which means TW really wasn't at his place playing poker. I am so glad for that delete key.
Myself
God
My Mom
My Dad
because of this belief, I will not judge you. I may tell you that I think there's things in your life that could be different, but I will not make you feel bad for getting drunk, for sleeping around, for drugs, etc. I try my best to hold myself to this philosophy but I know a lot of people do judge. Hell, I've been judged here myself by different readers. But the one thing I can't stand is one someone tells you that they're not judging you and then go on to. Believe it or not, I haven't been judged but a friend of mine has.
TW's friend is M, who Jules has been hanging out with. They've been really close and she's been very adamant about telling him that she does not want a relationship, last night it all came to a closer while I was passed out drunk. They got into a fight that ended with the proverbial - I'll never see you again - the "I hope you get everything your looking for in life ..." I know this all too well as I ended with RS on that same note.
Turns out that he said he wasn't judging her, then blasted her for sleeping with people and for going out drinking. He told her that he knew what she wanted in life and she wasn't doing it. She told him that it's only been a bit over a week so he can't know her, not even to say her life. I agree.
So she's sad but relieved. He was a really good guy and I almost wish they ended up together, but I won't judge her on that decision.
On the same topic, did you catch what I just said above? She was with M all last night, which means TW really wasn't at his place playing poker. I am so glad for that delete key.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Time Check.
I drank on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today - that's a lot of drinking. Tomorrow's softball and my body is aching to go home afterwards and not drinking anything contain certain alcohols. These are the days my job drains me because it's almost in possible to say no to 20 or so friends that are sweaty and stinky from ball and to tell them to have a good time. I think I might head out for water & tater tots and call it a night.
In the meantime, yesterday's chaos did leave one unexpected surprise - a phone number I didn't recognize on my phone as a missed call. I listened to voicemails and it was TW. I called back only for a bland conversation that made me hang up and feel like I gave up on good sex for no reason.
MG: How was work?
TW: I hate my job, I can't wait to leave today.
MG: Big plans tonight (secretly hoping he'd want to see me)
TW: Yup, Poker with Dan and the guys at M's house.
MG: Well, suppose I should let you work ...
TW: Yeah, probably good. Have a good night.
MG: Good luck at poker.
I looked at my closed phone and was slightly disappointed, turns out that my buddy Bill was right - go with your gut and my gut called him Train Wreck for goodness sake.
In the meantime, yesterday's chaos did leave one unexpected surprise - a phone number I didn't recognize on my phone as a missed call. I listened to voicemails and it was TW. I called back only for a bland conversation that made me hang up and feel like I gave up on good sex for no reason.
MG: How was work?
TW: I hate my job, I can't wait to leave today.
MG: Big plans tonight (secretly hoping he'd want to see me)
TW: Yup, Poker with Dan and the guys at M's house.
MG: Well, suppose I should let you work ...
TW: Yeah, probably good. Have a good night.
MG: Good luck at poker.
I looked at my closed phone and was slightly disappointed, turns out that my buddy Bill was right - go with your gut and my gut called him Train Wreck for goodness sake.
Wine, Heroes, Beer & The Delete Button - What a Monday.
Monday started off innocently. I washed dishes and cleaned my kitchen floors in anticipation of TW to call. Around 7:30 I smoked a cigarette on my back porch and popped open the Monday regular of Lexia (crack wine, I like to call it) and anticipated the Heroes finale. From 8-9 I blocked 4 calls, none of which were from TW. Half way through Heroes I was on the second bottle of Lexia and already feeling a bit toasty. At 9, I was in tears at the ending (SO GOOD! - The bomb did explode ...) and drank the last few drops.
Jules called and I conned her out for a couple beers at a local pub so I could catch the game and talk about the Sunday night occurring and how he went from attentive to nothing. I told her I was done (actually I believe I said f*ck it about 12 times, I was drunk) and she begged me not to be. So I opened my phone, highlighted his number - showed it to her - and clicked "DELETE."
"Much better." I sighed, drank the last sips and asked her to take me home.
I laid in bed with Bumpkin as he coo-ed and rubbed his head on me. "Only man I need." Kissed him on the head and woke up this morning with a spectacular headache.
Jules called and I conned her out for a couple beers at a local pub so I could catch the game and talk about the Sunday night occurring and how he went from attentive to nothing. I told her I was done (actually I believe I said f*ck it about 12 times, I was drunk) and she begged me not to be. So I opened my phone, highlighted his number - showed it to her - and clicked "DELETE."
"Much better." I sighed, drank the last sips and asked her to take me home.
I laid in bed with Bumpkin as he coo-ed and rubbed his head on me. "Only man I need." Kissed him on the head and woke up this morning with a spectacular headache.
Monday, May 21, 2007
4 Little Rules.
I am a very low maintenance type of person, that being said I have 4 standard - maybe "high" maintenance rules to being your girlfriend. Rules are below.
1 (MOST IMPORTANT) If I go on vacation, call me when I get back to make sure I'm back.
2. Tell me I have nice eyes.
3. Trace my tattoo on my back.
4. Send flowers the day after we have sex.
If you can't do those 4 things, we can't date and we will continue not to date if said things are not done.
So going back to the weekend, I decided that you can't have a door and a window open at the same time so I opted to close the door on RS. Turns out he opened a business with my ex, his on going reason why we can't be together. I laid in his arms as he told me how the ex is cleaning up his act that it dawned on me the relationship we're in is great for face value but it will never progress. It also dawned on me that I'm making a handful of excuses to not even allow a relationship with TW.
After goodbye sex and his handwritten directions I got in my car and felt relieved, sad, and an array of other emotions and I called TW to reinforce that I made a right decision.
We chatted and he told me he'd drunk dial me that night and to be safe. At 3:30am, he still hadn't called. In fact I got home from Iowa only to find that he still hadn't called. At 6:00 I started drinking with Jules, by 9:00 I still hadn't heard anything and I was hammered.
TW's friend convinced me to call him, which lead to me going over there and some shenanigans for about 1/2 hour. And guess what. He still hasn't called. I'm not 100% sure I gambled correctly on this one.
1 (MOST IMPORTANT) If I go on vacation, call me when I get back to make sure I'm back.
2. Tell me I have nice eyes.
3. Trace my tattoo on my back.
4. Send flowers the day after we have sex.
If you can't do those 4 things, we can't date and we will continue not to date if said things are not done.
So going back to the weekend, I decided that you can't have a door and a window open at the same time so I opted to close the door on RS. Turns out he opened a business with my ex, his on going reason why we can't be together. I laid in his arms as he told me how the ex is cleaning up his act that it dawned on me the relationship we're in is great for face value but it will never progress. It also dawned on me that I'm making a handful of excuses to not even allow a relationship with TW.
After goodbye sex and his handwritten directions I got in my car and felt relieved, sad, and an array of other emotions and I called TW to reinforce that I made a right decision.
We chatted and he told me he'd drunk dial me that night and to be safe. At 3:30am, he still hadn't called. In fact I got home from Iowa only to find that he still hadn't called. At 6:00 I started drinking with Jules, by 9:00 I still hadn't heard anything and I was hammered.
TW's friend convinced me to call him, which lead to me going over there and some shenanigans for about 1/2 hour. And guess what. He still hasn't called. I'm not 100% sure I gambled correctly on this one.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Lesson Learned.
So I went on my normal 2 month shopping spree to pick up the soap, the detergent, fabric softner and dryer sheets and was intrigued by all new scents so I bought them - never have had an allergic reaction ever.
I say this as I'm covered in hives and I have no clue what caused it - lovely don't you think?
I say this as I'm covered in hives and I have no clue what caused it - lovely don't you think?
Short Comings.
So it turns out TW is a really nice guy and not so much of the train wreck that I thought he might be. We've seen eachother 4 times including Sunday and it's only Friday. He asks me to call to make sure I get home okay and when I wasn't feeling well he offered to bring me something to eat. But there's one very small significant, for lack of better description, short coming.
As things progressed on his couch of his bachelor pad (equipped with plenty of packer posters and numerous ash trays and a huge plasma TV), my hand gentle unbuttoned his pants and then all was revealed, or nothing really. Three years ago I would have busted into uncontrollable laughter and left, but being that I am more mature I just coyly slipped my hand out and offered to give him a back rub.
After the back rub we made out for awhile and I blamed the 2 hours of sleep the night before on my exit. He kissed my head and rubbed my shoulders while I closed my eyes on his shoulder for a moment and I left.
I couldn't help but notice while he kissed me as I laid on the couch that those weren't RS's shoulders, there was no tattoo, there was nothing that I was used to and as he kissed my neck I stared at the side of his futon wondering what in the hell I was doing.
But all does not matter as I'm headed down to Dubuque so there will be a good amount of time thinking in the car during the ride, then a good amount of drinking and hanging out with my lovely girl to forget about it.
As things progressed on his couch of his bachelor pad (equipped with plenty of packer posters and numerous ash trays and a huge plasma TV), my hand gentle unbuttoned his pants and then all was revealed, or nothing really. Three years ago I would have busted into uncontrollable laughter and left, but being that I am more mature I just coyly slipped my hand out and offered to give him a back rub.
After the back rub we made out for awhile and I blamed the 2 hours of sleep the night before on my exit. He kissed my head and rubbed my shoulders while I closed my eyes on his shoulder for a moment and I left.
I couldn't help but notice while he kissed me as I laid on the couch that those weren't RS's shoulders, there was no tattoo, there was nothing that I was used to and as he kissed my neck I stared at the side of his futon wondering what in the hell I was doing.
But all does not matter as I'm headed down to Dubuque so there will be a good amount of time thinking in the car during the ride, then a good amount of drinking and hanging out with my lovely girl to forget about it.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Batter Up?
This is just getting more and more confusing. So on our team is Drunk Guy from bowling (whenever we played against each other if I told him I was staring at his ass he tended to get a strike), LG and PA - all 3 of which will be there tonight.
So PA answers first to my email reminder that he'll be there, followed by DG and then of course, LG. LG tells me he misses me, I respond "Then let's play ball."
I'm not sure how to handle all of this, if time plays out correctly and I can balance this like the 23 year old me it should work out something along these lines ...
6:15 Arrive
6:30 Slap DG's butt, maybe PA's
6:45 Sit on bench and await my round.
7:00 Play catcher
7:15 Game Over.
7:30 Hit up the after party
8:00 Try NOT to hit on LG
8:45 Call Jules
9:00 Go see TW
10:00 Leave for Madison
11:20 Start having crazy sex with RS
3:00am Done having sex.
5:00am Realize I've once again passed out, grab clothes and run out the door.
7:30am Get back to MKE
7:45am Pet the kitty (as in Bumpkin you perverts), feed him & shower
8:30am Get back in car, head to work
8:45am Blame lateness on the fact that they told me to come in later because of my hours.
Wondering if this will actually work ...
So PA answers first to my email reminder that he'll be there, followed by DG and then of course, LG. LG tells me he misses me, I respond "Then let's play ball."
I'm not sure how to handle all of this, if time plays out correctly and I can balance this like the 23 year old me it should work out something along these lines ...
6:15 Arrive
6:30 Slap DG's butt, maybe PA's
6:45 Sit on bench and await my round.
7:00 Play catcher
7:15 Game Over.
7:30 Hit up the after party
8:00 Try NOT to hit on LG
8:45 Call Jules
9:00 Go see TW
10:00 Leave for Madison
11:20 Start having crazy sex with RS
3:00am Done having sex.
5:00am Realize I've once again passed out, grab clothes and run out the door.
7:30am Get back to MKE
7:45am Pet the kitty (as in Bumpkin you perverts), feed him & shower
8:30am Get back in car, head to work
8:45am Blame lateness on the fact that they told me to come in later because of my hours.
Wondering if this will actually work ...
Struggling.
Recent events have left me in an inner turmoil over what's good for me and what's good for other people. I have a horrible habit of trying to take care of people with out considering myself in the process and in the end, the only person ending up getting hurt is me.
With that said, let me recap.
Sunday I was out with Jules at our local hang out and met a nice, good-looking guy that was picking up the bartender. After flirting for a bit he invited me over to a different bar, a little hesitation but Jules & I decided to go just as the hot guys at the end of the bar came to our side to cash out - they stopped for a little chat and ended up saying they were headed to the same bar so we left with them. I promptly told the other guy I'd see him over.
I ended up talking with the hot guy as Jules flirted with his friend. In the meantime I found out he had an 8 year old son (he's 31), he got divorced a year and a half ago (his wife cheated on him and is now marrying the 'asshole' and ruining her life he said), and on Thursday he came home to the house he lived in with his younger brother to find him dead from a seizure. I gulped - train wreck.
So tell me, when accidents happen why can't we just keep driving? Why do we have to sit and stare, wishing we could do something for those people? That was my initial reaction. We ended up back at the first bar and proceeded to make out. We went back to his friends place and Jules decided to spend the night, I'd pick her up in the morning. His friend urged me to sleep with him - I politely declined, I'm not that kind of girl. After talking like 10th graders by our cars, he said we should do lunch on Monday.
In the meantime I drove home with one million thoughts in my head, so let's back up to Friday.
Friday I went out on the town, had a blast and then headed to Madison, promptly passing out after 4 hours of sex to find myself curled up in his strong arms. It was 7am on Saturday and I needed to get back to Milwaukee, he pulled me close, kissed my forehead and asked for me to lay for 15 more minutes. We sat there curled up, his eyes closed as I stared at his tattoo. I left at 7:30.
I couldn't help but have guilt for making out with TW because of RS. On the way home early Monday morning, my eyes filled with tears.
On Monday morning I went into work, to a doctor's appointment and wandered around Home Depot wondering if TW was going to call, relieved that it was 12:30 and he hadn't. 12:32 I get a call to meet him for lunch. We ended up eating and I wanted to call it the afternoon, blaming the fact that I needed to buy paint - so he went with.
While walking through home depot waiting for my "Dark Secret" to get mixed, he attempted to grab my hand which made me pull a complete Samantha move and quickly retract and fall onto some carpet, only for that same hand to help me up and hold on. We went back to his place, made out and he had to go to his kid's game.
I'm so torn on what I should do - honestly neither RS or TW are good relationships - but TW needs me around and I kind of like him, where there is history with RS. Jules told me the only way to resolve the situation is to be forefront with RS and see his reaction...
In the meantime, today is his brother's funeral and he asked me to go to the after party, I told him I'd stop by after softball. At the same time RS asked me to come up to Madison and told me that it would be okay if I passed out - I could just work out of the MAD office. Yikes.
With that said, let me recap.
Sunday I was out with Jules at our local hang out and met a nice, good-looking guy that was picking up the bartender. After flirting for a bit he invited me over to a different bar, a little hesitation but Jules & I decided to go just as the hot guys at the end of the bar came to our side to cash out - they stopped for a little chat and ended up saying they were headed to the same bar so we left with them. I promptly told the other guy I'd see him over.
I ended up talking with the hot guy as Jules flirted with his friend. In the meantime I found out he had an 8 year old son (he's 31), he got divorced a year and a half ago (his wife cheated on him and is now marrying the 'asshole' and ruining her life he said), and on Thursday he came home to the house he lived in with his younger brother to find him dead from a seizure. I gulped - train wreck.
So tell me, when accidents happen why can't we just keep driving? Why do we have to sit and stare, wishing we could do something for those people? That was my initial reaction. We ended up back at the first bar and proceeded to make out. We went back to his friends place and Jules decided to spend the night, I'd pick her up in the morning. His friend urged me to sleep with him - I politely declined, I'm not that kind of girl. After talking like 10th graders by our cars, he said we should do lunch on Monday.
In the meantime I drove home with one million thoughts in my head, so let's back up to Friday.
Friday I went out on the town, had a blast and then headed to Madison, promptly passing out after 4 hours of sex to find myself curled up in his strong arms. It was 7am on Saturday and I needed to get back to Milwaukee, he pulled me close, kissed my forehead and asked for me to lay for 15 more minutes. We sat there curled up, his eyes closed as I stared at his tattoo. I left at 7:30.
I couldn't help but have guilt for making out with TW because of RS. On the way home early Monday morning, my eyes filled with tears.
On Monday morning I went into work, to a doctor's appointment and wandered around Home Depot wondering if TW was going to call, relieved that it was 12:30 and he hadn't. 12:32 I get a call to meet him for lunch. We ended up eating and I wanted to call it the afternoon, blaming the fact that I needed to buy paint - so he went with.
While walking through home depot waiting for my "Dark Secret" to get mixed, he attempted to grab my hand which made me pull a complete Samantha move and quickly retract and fall onto some carpet, only for that same hand to help me up and hold on. We went back to his place, made out and he had to go to his kid's game.
I'm so torn on what I should do - honestly neither RS or TW are good relationships - but TW needs me around and I kind of like him, where there is history with RS. Jules told me the only way to resolve the situation is to be forefront with RS and see his reaction...
In the meantime, today is his brother's funeral and he asked me to go to the after party, I told him I'd stop by after softball. At the same time RS asked me to come up to Madison and told me that it would be okay if I passed out - I could just work out of the MAD office. Yikes.
Friday, May 04, 2007
No more dogs!
Last night was the final night of dogsitting. I now relish in the glory of my own flat and my free time ... wait.
Upon returning home my local friends are swallowing up my time with words like "I haven't seen you in 6 weeks!" So my free weekend of cleaning and relaxing is now booked. Tonight I'm going out with JF, tomorrow with Jules, Sunday I have to decide what the ideal scenario will be. In the meantime, I'm wearing the last of my clean clothes so that's going to have to change!
As for dogs, well it's not just about the puppies on the leash. I can't decided if I should take a hiatus again or just throw my eggs into one basket and see where that leads me. I'm done with LG, I can't stand the cockiness and the not realizing what he's got. The married guy (well non-married), real estate agent hasn't called but let's face the facts - 16 years is a HUGE age difference. For all I know, he's got a kid around my age. And RS, well - I've finally admitted to myself that I had feelings, which I was going to finally tell him. But then I realized, I don't want to be with him, I wouldn't want anything to change, so it's friendship feelings compounded by the thought of good sex and I'm 99% sure that those feelings aren't returned. For instance, if I was in the hospital right now I know he wouldn't see me or talk to me, in fact - that's true for any of the men in my life minus JF and #1. If someone died, he wouldn't be there as a shoulder to cry on. He's good conversation and sex and that's not the type of guy I want to have feelings for. So for the next few months, I'm a cat girl - no dogs allowed.
Upon returning home my local friends are swallowing up my time with words like "I haven't seen you in 6 weeks!" So my free weekend of cleaning and relaxing is now booked. Tonight I'm going out with JF, tomorrow with Jules, Sunday I have to decide what the ideal scenario will be. In the meantime, I'm wearing the last of my clean clothes so that's going to have to change!
As for dogs, well it's not just about the puppies on the leash. I can't decided if I should take a hiatus again or just throw my eggs into one basket and see where that leads me. I'm done with LG, I can't stand the cockiness and the not realizing what he's got. The married guy (well non-married), real estate agent hasn't called but let's face the facts - 16 years is a HUGE age difference. For all I know, he's got a kid around my age. And RS, well - I've finally admitted to myself that I had feelings, which I was going to finally tell him. But then I realized, I don't want to be with him, I wouldn't want anything to change, so it's friendship feelings compounded by the thought of good sex and I'm 99% sure that those feelings aren't returned. For instance, if I was in the hospital right now I know he wouldn't see me or talk to me, in fact - that's true for any of the men in my life minus JF and #1. If someone died, he wouldn't be there as a shoulder to cry on. He's good conversation and sex and that's not the type of guy I want to have feelings for. So for the next few months, I'm a cat girl - no dogs allowed.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
The moment.
I had an amazing day yesterday and today.
Yesterday I met the married guy out - he's not married. He's divorced. We had a drink and I went out with Jules before another romp with RS.
I headed to Madison at 8, and was curled up in orgasmic delight by 9. There were a couple moments there that took me a back. I can't remember the situation exactly, but I was standing beside the bed and jumped on the bed, he laughed and said "getting comfortable with me huh?" I laughed back, "It only took 4 years."
The kissing and the cuddling continued, the nuzzling on the neck, talking. I ran my hands across his shaved head and purred as I curled on his muscular shoulder.
"You know, it's not just the sex - I do actually like talking to you." I chuckled, "I like talking to you too, otherwise you'd be out in 10 minutes after we were done." He curled his arm to hold me close and kissed my head as our fingers touched lightly against each other. For the next three hours we talked and had sex. It was a relief, so sweet and simple.
On the way home I contemplated how I could give this up ever and I realized at some point I'm going to have to suck it up and tell him that it's more than sex, I really like him.
Jules has been having a tough time, so today we sat out in the sun drinking beer and Press Cucumber Melon and Vodkas, airing out our past - including mine with RS. She looked at me and laughed, "You love him."
"It can't happen. But I like him."
As she aired out her laundry she talked of a past with an ex-husband that beat her. 2 more drinks and we giggled as I told her I'd show her my ex's online. "You can just find people?"
"Pretty much." As I pulled up RS's guitarists page on myspace. "I dated him." We started reading the information and all of the sudden she read the status out loud "In a relationship" I was flabbergasted. It was like something finally fell into order, it was the final excuse that would release the information. There was no fear in me that he would come back and try to ruin the relationship if he was in one.
Yesterday I met the married guy out - he's not married. He's divorced. We had a drink and I went out with Jules before another romp with RS.
I headed to Madison at 8, and was curled up in orgasmic delight by 9. There were a couple moments there that took me a back. I can't remember the situation exactly, but I was standing beside the bed and jumped on the bed, he laughed and said "getting comfortable with me huh?" I laughed back, "It only took 4 years."
The kissing and the cuddling continued, the nuzzling on the neck, talking. I ran my hands across his shaved head and purred as I curled on his muscular shoulder.
"You know, it's not just the sex - I do actually like talking to you." I chuckled, "I like talking to you too, otherwise you'd be out in 10 minutes after we were done." He curled his arm to hold me close and kissed my head as our fingers touched lightly against each other. For the next three hours we talked and had sex. It was a relief, so sweet and simple.
On the way home I contemplated how I could give this up ever and I realized at some point I'm going to have to suck it up and tell him that it's more than sex, I really like him.
Jules has been having a tough time, so today we sat out in the sun drinking beer and Press Cucumber Melon and Vodkas, airing out our past - including mine with RS. She looked at me and laughed, "You love him."
"It can't happen. But I like him."
As she aired out her laundry she talked of a past with an ex-husband that beat her. 2 more drinks and we giggled as I told her I'd show her my ex's online. "You can just find people?"
"Pretty much." As I pulled up RS's guitarists page on myspace. "I dated him." We started reading the information and all of the sudden she read the status out loud "In a relationship" I was flabbergasted. It was like something finally fell into order, it was the final excuse that would release the information. There was no fear in me that he would come back and try to ruin the relationship if he was in one.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Shocked.
Yesterday was any other day, I was $279 short of my $30K goal trying to reach it when a client called and we put together an amazing training schedule. As I plugged the numbers, I called him to let him know it was going to be $50,000. Then he said "That's fine." What? That's fine?
It's not so much the commission check, it's more so the fact that we'll be buying machines so I never again have to travel between our offices with monitors and CPUs. All classrooms will have all 6 computers. That saves me about 3-4 hours a week.
And, then there's the commission check!
Di & I conjured up a plan to get together at the racetrack and just be away for awhile. So May 19 - here we come!
It's not so much the commission check, it's more so the fact that we'll be buying machines so I never again have to travel between our offices with monitors and CPUs. All classrooms will have all 6 computers. That saves me about 3-4 hours a week.
And, then there's the commission check!
Di & I conjured up a plan to get together at the racetrack and just be away for awhile. So May 19 - here we come!
Friday, April 27, 2007
Last night I was at the pub with my students that I mentor recalling the story of Sunday and the Las Vegas guy (they're college students who we talk about this stuff with all the time. I end with "and she tells me he's married. But it doesn't matter, he hasn't called." Then speak of the devil - the phone rings.
It was him and we arranged, if weather permitted, to meet today. I'll have Pete with me, so I won't be able to go inside, but you damn well know that one of the first things I'm asking is his status.
I got home around 8, started making dinner when E called to have me come back out. Since I was going, I thought I might invite LG out. Of course I got 5 million excuses when E took the phone and told him that he should know he's really lucky to even talk to me (she was loaded). She handed back the phone and I closed it.
Everyone keeps trying to convince him to realize what's in front of his face and it came to me that there should be no convincing and I was done.
And now it's Friday. The weather outside is pitiful and rainy. I have to pick up Pete in 2 hours and he'll pounce around the office until 4:30. Maybe the sun will come out and I'll go out with LV, maybe it won't and I'll just go home to the Bumpkin with puppy-in-tow.
It was him and we arranged, if weather permitted, to meet today. I'll have Pete with me, so I won't be able to go inside, but you damn well know that one of the first things I'm asking is his status.
I got home around 8, started making dinner when E called to have me come back out. Since I was going, I thought I might invite LG out. Of course I got 5 million excuses when E took the phone and told him that he should know he's really lucky to even talk to me (she was loaded). She handed back the phone and I closed it.
Everyone keeps trying to convince him to realize what's in front of his face and it came to me that there should be no convincing and I was done.
And now it's Friday. The weather outside is pitiful and rainy. I have to pick up Pete in 2 hours and he'll pounce around the office until 4:30. Maybe the sun will come out and I'll go out with LV, maybe it won't and I'll just go home to the Bumpkin with puppy-in-tow.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Men update.
I'm still trying to catch up from vacation, it's driving me nuts. Between the dogs and my work "social" calendar, I miss being home.
On Sunday we held a surprise party for my boss's birthday - she was indeed surprised. I felt slightly bad that her boy-toy picked up the tab, like I should have kicked in, but the flowers, the vases, the decorations, her presents were all on my bill and I thought that far exceeded his. While out and about afterwards, I was sipping a beer when Jules made a comment about my breasts, which involved me pretending to grab them all sexually - which got the guy walking into the bar's attention.
After chatting, we realized we had been in Vegas at the same time, seen the same Beatles show and went to the same college. I don't know why schools tend to do this to me - but I asked when he graduated ... now remember, this is college ... he said 1989. This year has come by me a few times - as in high school, but not college - so I was a bit shocked.
He gave me his number, to which I wrote down mine and said that I never end up calling - but he can call me. And then I found out he was married. I do swear I looked for a ring.
At the party, LG showed up only to flirt with Jules - but I guess I wasn't paying that close of attention. I got a peck on the lips and a "I'll call you late next week."
RS and I had a semi lunch planned (in our true lunch planning) but he ended up in meetings, guess a late night romp 2 weeks from now might be in order.
On Sunday we held a surprise party for my boss's birthday - she was indeed surprised. I felt slightly bad that her boy-toy picked up the tab, like I should have kicked in, but the flowers, the vases, the decorations, her presents were all on my bill and I thought that far exceeded his. While out and about afterwards, I was sipping a beer when Jules made a comment about my breasts, which involved me pretending to grab them all sexually - which got the guy walking into the bar's attention.
After chatting, we realized we had been in Vegas at the same time, seen the same Beatles show and went to the same college. I don't know why schools tend to do this to me - but I asked when he graduated ... now remember, this is college ... he said 1989. This year has come by me a few times - as in high school, but not college - so I was a bit shocked.
He gave me his number, to which I wrote down mine and said that I never end up calling - but he can call me. And then I found out he was married. I do swear I looked for a ring.
At the party, LG showed up only to flirt with Jules - but I guess I wasn't paying that close of attention. I got a peck on the lips and a "I'll call you late next week."
RS and I had a semi lunch planned (in our true lunch planning) but he ended up in meetings, guess a late night romp 2 weeks from now might be in order.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
My Friday Mistake.
I was horny as all hell while in Vegas, and being that I was traveling with mom, there was no hanky-panky going on. So here I get back to good old WI with a heck of a freak-me-please going on.
Due to the doggy sitting, I put the puppy in his crate at 2am, figuring that I'd be home by 6am and it wouldn't be a big deal (owner prefers he be crated at a minimum 8-12 hour increments). I head out to good old Madison for a little evening fun.
Funny thing about that is - I wore his shit out. He was ready to pass out after he came, such not the normal case between the two of us, as I try to urge one more go round. I laid there in silence while he feel asleep, and the next thing I knew - I had slept over.
STRICTLY AGAINST MY RULES. I left as soon as I realized, almost opening the door before his pants were still on (the naked activity began in the living room). He still hasn't texted - this is why I don't sleep over!
Due to the doggy sitting, I put the puppy in his crate at 2am, figuring that I'd be home by 6am and it wouldn't be a big deal (owner prefers he be crated at a minimum 8-12 hour increments). I head out to good old Madison for a little evening fun.
Funny thing about that is - I wore his shit out. He was ready to pass out after he came, such not the normal case between the two of us, as I try to urge one more go round. I laid there in silence while he feel asleep, and the next thing I knew - I had slept over.
STRICTLY AGAINST MY RULES. I left as soon as I realized, almost opening the door before his pants were still on (the naked activity began in the living room). He still hasn't texted - this is why I don't sleep over!
Doggie Hell.
Please note my calendar below and then question me on why my apartment is a mess.
Dog #1 - March 19 - March 30
Dog #2 - April 6 - April 20
Dog #3 - April 20 - April 25
Dog #4 - April 27 - April 29
Dogs #5 & 6 - April 29 - May 5
Now, I did try to say no to dog #3, until E told his owner that we'd tag team - then she took him for one night. And dog #4 is Pete - and technically I'm supposed to have him until the 30th but begged my sister to take him.
On the other notes, it's decent money. Dog #1 was $100, Dog #2 was $250 - all of what went to Vegas. Dog #3 doesn't pay well, dog #4 will be free, but dogs 5 & 6 will pay well. But, I'm exhausted.
Dog #1 - March 19 - March 30
Dog #2 - April 6 - April 20
Dog #3 - April 20 - April 25
Dog #4 - April 27 - April 29
Dogs #5 & 6 - April 29 - May 5
Now, I did try to say no to dog #3, until E told his owner that we'd tag team - then she took him for one night. And dog #4 is Pete - and technically I'm supposed to have him until the 30th but begged my sister to take him.
On the other notes, it's decent money. Dog #1 was $100, Dog #2 was $250 - all of what went to Vegas. Dog #3 doesn't pay well, dog #4 will be free, but dogs 5 & 6 will pay well. But, I'm exhausted.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Post Vaca Rehash
So I came back broke, but had a lot of fun doing it - so it's alright, right?
After 4 days of gambling, one day only of being ridiculously drunk (what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas but let's just say there was a rodeo and I was at the roulette table harassing the boys in 10 gallon hats and tight jeans), we trotted back on to the plane and went right back to work the next day. I already miss vacation.
After 4 days of gambling, one day only of being ridiculously drunk (what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas but let's just say there was a rodeo and I was at the roulette table harassing the boys in 10 gallon hats and tight jeans), we trotted back on to the plane and went right back to work the next day. I already miss vacation.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
The Tape Worm Dies after Vegas.
When I get back from vacation there's going to be some major changes. Everyone in the office has put on a good chunk of weight with the onset of winter and we've jokingly been saying we've got a tape worm that needs to be fed. I called E last night and said, "We're making a deal - the tape worm dies on Tuesday, April 24. Every Monday we weigh ourselves, loser buys lunch." It was a fine statement since we seem to switch buying lunch at least 2 a week and puts a little competition into the mix.
So that's the first change. The second change is that I'm quitting smoking. 2 years of 1/2 a pack to a full pack a day and I'm quitting (with the help of Commit), which plays into how hard the above will be. But both are changes that are a long time coming.
So that's the first change. The second change is that I'm quitting smoking. 2 years of 1/2 a pack to a full pack a day and I'm quitting (with the help of Commit), which plays into how hard the above will be. But both are changes that are a long time coming.
2 Days and Counting!
So I got my check stub today that says how much I'll be paid tomorrow, after all the bills and miscellaneous items I'll get to take another $100 bringing my Vegas gambling money to about $1,000. Not too shabby for 5 days since I'm not a big spender when I'm there.
I still have to go shopping and get a swimsuit since we're bound and determined this go-round for some fun in the sun. Since it's snowing in good-old WI it'll be nice to come back with some color.
In the meantime, my dad was supposed to take the dog tonight but he's not feeling overly well. I was a little perturbed as the bumpkin has been sitting in the back room for the last week and I wanted the night with him. E offered to take him tonight so I could spend some QT with the cat while I finish laundry and packing.
I still have to go shopping and get a swimsuit since we're bound and determined this go-round for some fun in the sun. Since it's snowing in good-old WI it'll be nice to come back with some color.
In the meantime, my dad was supposed to take the dog tonight but he's not feeling overly well. I was a little perturbed as the bumpkin has been sitting in the back room for the last week and I wanted the night with him. E offered to take him tonight so I could spend some QT with the cat while I finish laundry and packing.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Ready for Vaca.
It's been a good amount of time since I've actually left (since September to be exact) and now I'm itching to leave for a number of reasons. I can't wait for Vegas, no need to check time, to eat, to behave. To be PC, to have responsibility, to have to get up at 5:30am to walk the dog.
Work is driving me insane. I can't wait to allude all responsibility with event planning and selling classes. Not to mention to flee my co-workers for a bit of sanity found in the bottom of a Captain & Diet while putting $50 on red.
I've been dogsitting, and I love dogsitting, but it just requires so much time and energy. He's going by my dad's for the week.
Boys. I'll be glad to get away from them because, while I decided to cut ties with LG, I still kind of wanted to be able to say that to him but instead we haven't talked since Saturday. And RS, well, it'll be nice to get away and have him want sex like an uncontrolled, push me against the wall, lift my skirt and kiss me kind of way.
My apartment. I will be so glad to not worry about heat being on, gas leaking, ceilings leaking and so on.
Wisconsin. It's snowing today. I'll be glad to be away from the snow!
Work is driving me insane. I can't wait to allude all responsibility with event planning and selling classes. Not to mention to flee my co-workers for a bit of sanity found in the bottom of a Captain & Diet while putting $50 on red.
I've been dogsitting, and I love dogsitting, but it just requires so much time and energy. He's going by my dad's for the week.
Boys. I'll be glad to get away from them because, while I decided to cut ties with LG, I still kind of wanted to be able to say that to him but instead we haven't talked since Saturday. And RS, well, it'll be nice to get away and have him want sex like an uncontrolled, push me against the wall, lift my skirt and kiss me kind of way.
My apartment. I will be so glad to not worry about heat being on, gas leaking, ceilings leaking and so on.
Wisconsin. It's snowing today. I'll be glad to be away from the snow!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
3 Days Before Vegas.
I left work early today due to my late night last night in the hopes of doing laundry and packing for Vegas. I started laundry only to find that my dryer isn't really drying anything. I've ran the same load three times while washing load after load, letting it pile up in the hopes that the temperature was wrong or that the timing was off to no avail. I'm actually starting to think about moving.
I moved in at the beginning of November to stories of kitchen remodeling. My kitchen is not remodeled. My ceiling leaks in the rain, my switch plates and electrical outlets don't have plates. My dryer is broken. My gas stove leaks so I can't leave it on unless I want to die during the middle of the night. I pay $650 for a one bedroom, I pay $250 for gas and electrical. I'm starting to think I'm getting ripped off.
I've informed the landlords last month with my rent that I will be on vacation for a week starting on Friday and I hoped that the kitchen would be completed. If it's not, I'm going to include a note with my rent listing out all the repairs that need to be done and letting them know that I would like a reduction on rent or notice of when it will be completed so I can decide if I want to move out.
In the meantime my suitcase is not packed and tomorrow's the last day to do it. I'm hoping to get it done!
I moved in at the beginning of November to stories of kitchen remodeling. My kitchen is not remodeled. My ceiling leaks in the rain, my switch plates and electrical outlets don't have plates. My dryer is broken. My gas stove leaks so I can't leave it on unless I want to die during the middle of the night. I pay $650 for a one bedroom, I pay $250 for gas and electrical. I'm starting to think I'm getting ripped off.
I've informed the landlords last month with my rent that I will be on vacation for a week starting on Friday and I hoped that the kitchen would be completed. If it's not, I'm going to include a note with my rent listing out all the repairs that need to be done and letting them know that I would like a reduction on rent or notice of when it will be completed so I can decide if I want to move out.
In the meantime my suitcase is not packed and tomorrow's the last day to do it. I'm hoping to get it done!
What I DON'T Want to Hear About
Call it PMS or lack of sleep, but this isn't what I wanted to see when I opened my browser this morning:
Featured headline on Yahoo! News "Dreamed Number Dials Love" (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070409/od_nm/britain_text_dc)
LONDON (Reuters) - A British man has met and married a 22-year-old woman after, by his own account, dreaming of her phone number and then sending her a text message.
ADVERTISEMENT
David Brown, 24, says he woke up one morning after a night out with friends with a telephone number constantly running through his head. He decided to contact it, sending a message saying "Did I meet you last night?."
Random recipient Michelle Kitson was confused and wary at first but decided to reply and the two began exchanging messages. Eventually they met and fell in love.
"It was really weird but I was absolutely hooked," Kitson told the Daily Mail newspaper. "My mum and dad kept saying 'But he could be an axe murderer', but I knew there was something special about it."
After a long courtship, the oddly matched couple -- he's six foot seven inches tall and she's five foot four -- have just returned from their honeymoon in the Indian resort of Goa.
A love-struck Brown said: "I've no idea how I ended up with her number in my head -- it's only a few digits different from mine."
Featured headline on Yahoo! News "Dreamed Number Dials Love" (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070409/od_nm/britain_text_dc)
LONDON (Reuters) - A British man has met and married a 22-year-old woman after, by his own account, dreaming of her phone number and then sending her a text message.
ADVERTISEMENT
David Brown, 24, says he woke up one morning after a night out with friends with a telephone number constantly running through his head. He decided to contact it, sending a message saying "Did I meet you last night?."
Random recipient Michelle Kitson was confused and wary at first but decided to reply and the two began exchanging messages. Eventually they met and fell in love.
"It was really weird but I was absolutely hooked," Kitson told the Daily Mail newspaper. "My mum and dad kept saying 'But he could be an axe murderer', but I knew there was something special about it."
After a long courtship, the oddly matched couple -- he's six foot seven inches tall and she's five foot four -- have just returned from their honeymoon in the Indian resort of Goa.
A love-struck Brown said: "I've no idea how I ended up with her number in my head -- it's only a few digits different from mine."
Monday, April 09, 2007
Time to think.
After talking with my sister over her heartbreak and then her thoughts on LG, I think I've opted out of that relationship.
I forgot the downside to relationships, the pain and heartbreak of when a person leaves. There's already been enough drama with the waitress, that if I'm going to put it all on the line - I better get it all in return.
While at the bar, LG decided to declare for himself that my family loved him - in front of two of my family members. My sister's response?
"Actually no. We like PA better than you."
"Whatever, your mom loved me."
"No she didn't. You see LG, any man - anyone - would be lucky enough to have MG in his life that he shouldn't need some 20 year old piece of ass with a boyfriend. I lack any respect for you until you show her respect."
Her boyfriend chipped in, "Damn straight. That girl is one of the best people I know. You're a fool for not seeing that. Obviously PA does."
Granted this is under the influence of alcohol but I opted to say nothing because they were right. It didn't stop me from making out with him, but at the end of the night he had to leave to make a phone call - not just any call, one away and outside of the building. In retrospective the next two days it dawned on me that (a) it was the waitress and (b) he'd go outside for her but not for me (at the tailgate, he stayed in the car).
I'm thinking they're right - anyone should be glad and I'm too good to put up with this crap. So LG's getting his walking papers for good.
I forgot the downside to relationships, the pain and heartbreak of when a person leaves. There's already been enough drama with the waitress, that if I'm going to put it all on the line - I better get it all in return.
While at the bar, LG decided to declare for himself that my family loved him - in front of two of my family members. My sister's response?
"Actually no. We like PA better than you."
"Whatever, your mom loved me."
"No she didn't. You see LG, any man - anyone - would be lucky enough to have MG in his life that he shouldn't need some 20 year old piece of ass with a boyfriend. I lack any respect for you until you show her respect."
Her boyfriend chipped in, "Damn straight. That girl is one of the best people I know. You're a fool for not seeing that. Obviously PA does."
Granted this is under the influence of alcohol but I opted to say nothing because they were right. It didn't stop me from making out with him, but at the end of the night he had to leave to make a phone call - not just any call, one away and outside of the building. In retrospective the next two days it dawned on me that (a) it was the waitress and (b) he'd go outside for her but not for me (at the tailgate, he stayed in the car).
I'm thinking they're right - anyone should be glad and I'm too good to put up with this crap. So LG's getting his walking papers for good.
Meet Pete
On Sunday morning I walked the dog I'm sitting and started boiling the noodles for my homemade pasta salad when "Candy Man" started ringing on my phone. Knife in one hand, I swung over to my phone and noticed it was my dad "Hello?"
"Bring the dog and come over now."
"What?" I said stunned, "I haven't showered and still need to prep food for Easter at Mom's."
"We've got to get out to Genesse Depot and look at puppies. You can shower when you're done."
I quickly put together all my ingredients in a Pick N Save bag and headed on over to my dad's in Franklin.
My sister came over looking like hell, I chucked, "Hung over from yesterday?"
"No me & my boyfriend broke up. He took his stuff and moved out."
I was stunned. They were just together on Saturday having a blast at the tailgate. She was in no mood to talk, so I let her be. With tears in her eyes, she opted out of seeing the puppies, much to my dad's dismay.
We headed out to the farm and found ourselves surrounded by little dogs, chirping for our attention. There was 7 "liver" colored Brittany's and one orange. My dad was determined to get the little liver colored girl, but the little orange boy was determined to be his. As he cuddled a shaking puppy, the orange guy and I played and chased each other. As I saw my dad go down to kiss the little girl, I told the boy that if he wanted to go home with us he had to schmooze that guy. To which he immediately went over and nosed my dad. He was sold.
I asked my dad what he was going to name him, "Easter." He said and smiled. I laughed, "You can't name a boy Easter." He said he sure could, he just paid $500 for the puppy!
When we brought him home my sister and older brother joined in the laughter, so we all got to choose names and figure out which one the little guy liked.
"Easter," My dad called him. He perked up from his stick and ran over and rolled on the ground.
"Fred," My sister called him. He paid no attention.
"Torque," My brother tried, but to no avail.
"Wrench?" My brother tried again.
"Pete!" I yelled, to which the little guy got up from rolling in the grass and promptly nibbled at my finger in between licks.
"I guess it's Petey." My dad said.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Meeting the parents.
So LG & PA both met my mom, step-dad, sister and her boyfriend yesterday at the tailgate. It was snowing, but we all toughed it out over the blazing grill. Well, I say "we" but I really mean everyone but LG. We cooked, we talked, and everyone joked about what a wuss LG was - the least he could do is STOP drinking in his car and smoking non-stop.
As it turns out, LG wasn't just smoking Camels he was toking up as well - which I didn't see, but J and my step-dad did. With my history of drug users, this didn't go over incredibly well with the peeps.
The game was great, we headed out for drinks after and then to Long Wong's for some Chinese. LG, PA & I went bowling. Then I promptly called a cab and went home.
As it turns out, LG wasn't just smoking Camels he was toking up as well - which I didn't see, but J and my step-dad did. With my history of drug users, this didn't go over incredibly well with the peeps.
The game was great, we headed out for drinks after and then to Long Wong's for some Chinese. LG, PA & I went bowling. Then I promptly called a cab and went home.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Saturday is supposed to be fun.
Now I'm getting concerned with the whole tailgate thing. I should know that baseball, boys and me don't seem to mix.
Like the time I dated the guy that owned the pizza place in Lyons. He broke up with me the morning before the tailgate - but still offered to go. It was awkward. When too much drinking took place I may have yelled, "I regret sucking your dick." He left shortly after.
We need to be at MP at 10:00 in the morning for our rockstar parking and tailgate mishaps. It's supposed to be 32 degrees. Note to self, over lunch I need to buy a sweatshirt. I had originally aimed for a 10:00 meeting, but was informed by 3 participants in our 14 person tailgate that to get there at 10:00 we all better meet at 9:30am. So I emailed the group the following retraction:
"We need to get in the lot by 10 - so it's Target at 9:30!"
Most people wrote back with "Holy crap"s and other notes from all over. LG didn't reply, so I called on my way to Madison last night.
"It's MG - so we need to be on the lot by 10 - so it's 9:30 at Target. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Talk to you later."
I got no call back. I think that might have been part of the reason I couldn't cum in the first hour of messing around with RS, a bit distracted. After the adventurous night, when my phone read "1 Voicemail Message" I smiled thinking it was him - instead it was my boss. Can't say that I wasn't disappointed.
This morning I get this message:
"MG - sounds good - see you then. LG"
I toyed with writing back some funny comment or seeing if he wanted to get together tonight, but then I remembered the waitress and of course - my little rendezvous last night and I figure it's no big deal.
I'll just smile and play nice tomorrow.
Like the time I dated the guy that owned the pizza place in Lyons. He broke up with me the morning before the tailgate - but still offered to go. It was awkward. When too much drinking took place I may have yelled, "I regret sucking your dick." He left shortly after.
We need to be at MP at 10:00 in the morning for our rockstar parking and tailgate mishaps. It's supposed to be 32 degrees. Note to self, over lunch I need to buy a sweatshirt. I had originally aimed for a 10:00 meeting, but was informed by 3 participants in our 14 person tailgate that to get there at 10:00 we all better meet at 9:30am. So I emailed the group the following retraction:
"We need to get in the lot by 10 - so it's Target at 9:30!"
Most people wrote back with "Holy crap"s and other notes from all over. LG didn't reply, so I called on my way to Madison last night.
"It's MG - so we need to be on the lot by 10 - so it's 9:30 at Target. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Talk to you later."
I got no call back. I think that might have been part of the reason I couldn't cum in the first hour of messing around with RS, a bit distracted. After the adventurous night, when my phone read "1 Voicemail Message" I smiled thinking it was him - instead it was my boss. Can't say that I wasn't disappointed.
This morning I get this message:
"MG - sounds good - see you then. LG"
I toyed with writing back some funny comment or seeing if he wanted to get together tonight, but then I remembered the waitress and of course - my little rendezvous last night and I figure it's no big deal.
I'll just smile and play nice tomorrow.
I've never came like that.
Holy crap, last night was very interesting.
I arrived in Madison around 8:00pm and messed around with RS for about an hour. To save my life I couldn't have an orgasm. Finally I directed him to lay down, his finger tips ran slowly on my back and we, ummm, worked things out. It wasn't the most spectacular orgasm ever, but it did the job. For a week I have been attempting things on my own to no avail.
For the next hour I came 2 more times (he also did) and then we laid and talked, joked for another 1/2 hour.
"Shit," I looked at the clock, "It's 10:30, I gotta go."
He pushed me back on the bed, "It's 11:30"
"What?" I jolted up in shock. "The clock says 10:30!"
"I didn't reset it after daylight savings time. And you're not going anywhere."
We had the most spectacular sex after that. For the next hour it was brilliant. Then the weird thing happened, I came like I never have before. Literally, I collapsed on top of him, rolled slightly over to the side and passed out - for almost an hour. I never actually slept. It was one of those moments where you can't open your eyes, your aware of everything - the sound of him drifting out to sleep for 15 minutes, the sub-pump in th basement. I just couldn't move. My toes tingled.
When I finally did get up to leave it was 1:30. I drug my tired, relaxed butt back to Milwaukee, fed the cat and went to sleep.
I arrived in Madison around 8:00pm and messed around with RS for about an hour. To save my life I couldn't have an orgasm. Finally I directed him to lay down, his finger tips ran slowly on my back and we, ummm, worked things out. It wasn't the most spectacular orgasm ever, but it did the job. For a week I have been attempting things on my own to no avail.
For the next hour I came 2 more times (he also did) and then we laid and talked, joked for another 1/2 hour.
"Shit," I looked at the clock, "It's 10:30, I gotta go."
He pushed me back on the bed, "It's 11:30"
"What?" I jolted up in shock. "The clock says 10:30!"
"I didn't reset it after daylight savings time. And you're not going anywhere."
We had the most spectacular sex after that. For the next hour it was brilliant. Then the weird thing happened, I came like I never have before. Literally, I collapsed on top of him, rolled slightly over to the side and passed out - for almost an hour. I never actually slept. It was one of those moments where you can't open your eyes, your aware of everything - the sound of him drifting out to sleep for 15 minutes, the sub-pump in th basement. I just couldn't move. My toes tingled.
When I finally did get up to leave it was 1:30. I drug my tired, relaxed butt back to Milwaukee, fed the cat and went to sleep.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
51 degrees.
It's 10:00, 51 degrees in my apartment. I cleaned when I got home, washed 2 weeks worth of dishes and listened to Regina Spektor. I lit candles and took a bath. Saw LOST for the first time since January. Cuddled with the bumpkin. And did one of my favorite things to reflect on moments, had a smoke on the back porch.
The bumpkin loves my cigarette pack. He knows he can go outside, sniff the real air, listen to the real birds and he joyful rubs my legs as we sit out there for a minute or two.
I love the reflection moments. I think about things, the exciting things I'd say to people I'm angry at, the heartful things I would say if the moment was ever right to the ones I love and sometimes I think of nothing.
Tonight I thought about my little game I played with LG. I smiled at myself, 1/2 wishing I would have done in Anonymous's way and 1/2 happy the way I did it.
It's still not the end result that I dream about on my back porch, that he realizes that I'm better. Sometimes I think it's a stepping stone but then I wonder what is wrong with me in the sense that I'd even want to be with this guy.
I come in to the new ringtone buzzing on my phone - the one that is for one person only - RS. "So what are you wearing?"
I smile and close the phone, curl up on the couch under a blanket because it's only 51 degrees. Open it back up and look at the message again.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Yes. I would."
"Something sexy."
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
"You?"
"8:30?"
"Wear the shirt that snaps."
The bumpkin loves my cigarette pack. He knows he can go outside, sniff the real air, listen to the real birds and he joyful rubs my legs as we sit out there for a minute or two.
I love the reflection moments. I think about things, the exciting things I'd say to people I'm angry at, the heartful things I would say if the moment was ever right to the ones I love and sometimes I think of nothing.
Tonight I thought about my little game I played with LG. I smiled at myself, 1/2 wishing I would have done in Anonymous's way and 1/2 happy the way I did it.
It's still not the end result that I dream about on my back porch, that he realizes that I'm better. Sometimes I think it's a stepping stone but then I wonder what is wrong with me in the sense that I'd even want to be with this guy.
I come in to the new ringtone buzzing on my phone - the one that is for one person only - RS. "So what are you wearing?"
I smile and close the phone, curl up on the couch under a blanket because it's only 51 degrees. Open it back up and look at the message again.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Yes. I would."
"Something sexy."
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
"You?"
"8:30?"
"Wear the shirt that snaps."
Let's Play Ball.
So on Saturday I got lots of primo tickets for the Brewers vs the Cubbies from our connections at work. We've pulled together a tailgate and I mistakenly offered to take LG a couple weeks ago.
His recent behavior has made me want to re-nig on this option; however, I've decided that's spiteful and I did tell him the tickets were his birthday present so I'll suck it up and still go with him.
Upon a new head count, we discovered we had 2 extra tickets. In true, stereographic fashion, I dropped him a text this morning to let him know I didn't appreciate the spectacle of the waitress on Monday.
"I've got an extra ticket to the game - since it's your 'birthday' do you want to invite anyone else to the game?"
Did you depict my little game? He didn't. He called around noon saying that he was indeed going with me and I couldn't give up his ticket. I called back.
"Your an idiot."
"Huh?"
"I have an EXTRA ticket. Do you want to bring a guest?"
"Shit. I can't read. Umm, well who would I invite?"
"I don't know - what about the waitress? It was so fun being uncomfortable around her on Monday, we could do it again. Then instead of crashing my parties, she could just hang out and watch the game."
"I was thinking PA."
"I'm just saying - it would be delightful."
Uncomfortable laughter, "I get the point."
"Talk to you later ..."
His recent behavior has made me want to re-nig on this option; however, I've decided that's spiteful and I did tell him the tickets were his birthday present so I'll suck it up and still go with him.
Upon a new head count, we discovered we had 2 extra tickets. In true, stereographic fashion, I dropped him a text this morning to let him know I didn't appreciate the spectacle of the waitress on Monday.
"I've got an extra ticket to the game - since it's your 'birthday' do you want to invite anyone else to the game?"
Did you depict my little game? He didn't. He called around noon saying that he was indeed going with me and I couldn't give up his ticket. I called back.
"Your an idiot."
"Huh?"
"I have an EXTRA ticket. Do you want to bring a guest?"
"Shit. I can't read. Umm, well who would I invite?"
"I don't know - what about the waitress? It was so fun being uncomfortable around her on Monday, we could do it again. Then instead of crashing my parties, she could just hang out and watch the game."
"I was thinking PA."
"I'm just saying - it would be delightful."
Uncomfortable laughter, "I get the point."
"Talk to you later ..."
Welcome to Wisconsin.
On Monday I got sun burn at opening day.
On Tuesday I suffered from dehydration, but the flooding outside helped.
Today it's snowing.
Tomorrow is calling for Fall-like conditions and the weathermen are telling us to get out our sweaters right after we unpacked our shorts.
Maybe Visit Milwaukee can use that in its pitch to conferences ... "SEE ALL THE SEASONS IN JUST FOUR DAYS!"
On Tuesday I suffered from dehydration, but the flooding outside helped.
Today it's snowing.
Tomorrow is calling for Fall-like conditions and the weathermen are telling us to get out our sweaters right after we unpacked our shorts.
Maybe Visit Milwaukee can use that in its pitch to conferences ... "SEE ALL THE SEASONS IN JUST FOUR DAYS!"
A New Addiction.
I really like Lily Allen.
I also really like Regina Spektor. I shared Lily with my boss and he suggested her ... check out her video :)
I also really like Regina Spektor. I shared Lily with my boss and he suggested her ... check out her video :)
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Angry MG.
I'm mostly smiles and handshakes and hugs. Very rarely does Angry MG loom her head to her friends and co-workers. Today she perked out around 5:00.
First there was yesterday - opening day. I was excited, I love baseball and I love my Brewers. There's also that point of drinking at 9am and seeing how long you can hold out with out puking and passing out. Around 9 LG showed up with PA. I was busy doing my initial hellos that they sat by themselves. After we got settled, we hung out most of the time. At one point he left as I did rounds for a phone call - moments later his waitress showed up. At MY party - the one with 70 co-workers and friends. Granted, it was open season since it was our tent, but I thought it dis-tastful and pounded some beer.
She left a bit later and we proceeded to the game, ended up kissing, then headed on the bus and then the bar. Hanging out in the back we flirted and then I turned around and she was back - with her boyfriend.
Everyone decided to hit up a local Mexican joint for guacamole and chips, I was to spread the word. I went up to his little circle, "We're going to the restaurant, wanna come?" Her boyfriend said no, but she said yes, that she would just go with LG.
By now I'm a good amount of drunk and made some calls to yell at friends about my situation but headed in all smiles. They weren't there so I sipped a margarita, ate a chip and went home to pass out.
At 10:00 my phone rang and it said "PA" so I ignored it, snuggled into my blankets under the cracking of thunder and decided to listen tomorrow. When I did get the message this morning it was LG, not PA. He'd call me tomorrow. Yup, looking forward to that.
I didn't feel so hot this morning to begin with but took a moment to smile at the Bumpkin as he ate his food on top of my fridge. Drip.
I looked up, the giant crack in my ceiling leaked - on my head. Then I noticed it was all over the kitchen floor. Plopping down towels, I headed out with nothing to say or do about it.
When E arrived this morning the first thing out of her mouth was if I made out with a client last night, turns out the girl he was with was crying and she didn't know why. I was completely insulted! (A) It's a client - NO. (B) I left about 10 minutes after we got there and (C) don't you think my concentration would be on LG? Blowing it off I went back to my work.
Work went well and when we lost internet for an hour I started to work on our specials.
I sent them out after carefully researching the different clubs and their happenings, satisfied with my content, to our co-workers. Tagged on the email is a clear description that we would not discuss changes, you would make yours and I would take them into consideration. About 20 minutes later, I was finally irritated enough by her constant "What about this change?" that her comment about me needing a handbook on how to write our terms that I snapped back "Why? It's not like anything I write actually makes it into the newsletter." She looked at me, shocked because I'm more of a yes girl than anything else, "You know I'm a stickler for grammar." I grabbed my machine and put it in it's bag, looked at her and said - "Just make your changes." As I attempted to leave she questioned more things and I got fed up so I just left - it was 5:15.
On my ride home I called #1 back and chatted quickly about my day - of course with angry undertones.
"Wow. Haven't seen Angry MG in about 3 months. It's kind of scary."
"Come on," I whined back, "she only comes out once every 3 months? That's pretty good."
We chuckled and his phone disconnected. Now it's back at home to clean up the water mess in my kitchen and do laundry. Oh joy!
First there was yesterday - opening day. I was excited, I love baseball and I love my Brewers. There's also that point of drinking at 9am and seeing how long you can hold out with out puking and passing out. Around 9 LG showed up with PA. I was busy doing my initial hellos that they sat by themselves. After we got settled, we hung out most of the time. At one point he left as I did rounds for a phone call - moments later his waitress showed up. At MY party - the one with 70 co-workers and friends. Granted, it was open season since it was our tent, but I thought it dis-tastful and pounded some beer.
She left a bit later and we proceeded to the game, ended up kissing, then headed on the bus and then the bar. Hanging out in the back we flirted and then I turned around and she was back - with her boyfriend.
Everyone decided to hit up a local Mexican joint for guacamole and chips, I was to spread the word. I went up to his little circle, "We're going to the restaurant, wanna come?" Her boyfriend said no, but she said yes, that she would just go with LG.
By now I'm a good amount of drunk and made some calls to yell at friends about my situation but headed in all smiles. They weren't there so I sipped a margarita, ate a chip and went home to pass out.
At 10:00 my phone rang and it said "PA" so I ignored it, snuggled into my blankets under the cracking of thunder and decided to listen tomorrow. When I did get the message this morning it was LG, not PA. He'd call me tomorrow. Yup, looking forward to that.
I didn't feel so hot this morning to begin with but took a moment to smile at the Bumpkin as he ate his food on top of my fridge. Drip.
I looked up, the giant crack in my ceiling leaked - on my head. Then I noticed it was all over the kitchen floor. Plopping down towels, I headed out with nothing to say or do about it.
When E arrived this morning the first thing out of her mouth was if I made out with a client last night, turns out the girl he was with was crying and she didn't know why. I was completely insulted! (A) It's a client - NO. (B) I left about 10 minutes after we got there and (C) don't you think my concentration would be on LG? Blowing it off I went back to my work.
Work went well and when we lost internet for an hour I started to work on our specials.
I sent them out after carefully researching the different clubs and their happenings, satisfied with my content, to our co-workers. Tagged on the email is a clear description that we would not discuss changes, you would make yours and I would take them into consideration. About 20 minutes later, I was finally irritated enough by her constant "What about this change?" that her comment about me needing a handbook on how to write our terms that I snapped back "Why? It's not like anything I write actually makes it into the newsletter." She looked at me, shocked because I'm more of a yes girl than anything else, "You know I'm a stickler for grammar." I grabbed my machine and put it in it's bag, looked at her and said - "Just make your changes." As I attempted to leave she questioned more things and I got fed up so I just left - it was 5:15.
On my ride home I called #1 back and chatted quickly about my day - of course with angry undertones.
"Wow. Haven't seen Angry MG in about 3 months. It's kind of scary."
"Come on," I whined back, "she only comes out once every 3 months? That's pretty good."
We chuckled and his phone disconnected. Now it's back at home to clean up the water mess in my kitchen and do laundry. Oh joy!
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