Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Tuesday Morning.

Hey it's Tuesday. Funny, time flies when you're ... umm, "seeking new career opportunities" as the legal documents say.

This morning I get to head over to the new place and fill out my HR paperwork, that and verify that I passed the background and credit checks. Funny how that makes me nervous. With all the crap I went through 2 years ago with the old fiance I never know how that will pan out. Obviously the credit is not spectacular. At least I know my background checks out. I did assure them of the biggest shocker on the documents, which she said was no issue.

Of course, you know something is going to happen when you don't have money coming in - that's right ANOTHER flat tire.

I must have hit a pothole and cut the side of the tire, because it wasn't a nail like I thought. That, or my dealer just likes me coming in every two weeks and ponying up $200 for a freaking tire. Yesterday, the dude on the phone said it would be $218 with tax, I had to correct him - obviously I just coughed up the damn money for the other tires two weeks ago and the total is actually $186.89.

To top it off, my spare was also flat. Not cool. The BF has been my chauffer. So we played golf yesterday after the car got towed to the dealer. Now I just wait for my independence to come back at the hands of Boucher.

Otherwise life has been quite boring, not much to report. Things are still going well with the BF - except this no-job thing killed my sex drive quite a bit. I should be pumping like bunnies, but instead it's been 3 days - going on 4.

Ah well.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Getting back to me.

It's amazing how being unhappy in such an effect on everything in your life. It's been fantastic to be away from my old job. Me and the BF have never been better, I've lost weight, I've gotten more sleep. It's also nice to see how many people care.

I feel like I'm back to me - I'm funny again, I'm relaxed, it's so nice to be happy.

I am incredibly looking forward to the new job, the hours are a bit crazy - but that's okay. The pay - oh my - so much better in the long run. There will be no required networking, which means anything I choose to be a part of won't be a show. Work stays at the door, and will stay at the door.

I got a brand new spanking Blackberry, which is the answer to my prayers (why didn't we have these at the old job? They're kick a**) - I'm getting re-organized.

The BF & I have had a really great two weeks and he's mentioned that things have changed with us - it's back to what it was before I started hating my job. It's amazing to have him here. I can't believe that I almost threw it away.

We're looking at houses and I feel like this is the best decision, not in the convincing way that I used to have to do, but in the down-in-the-gut good feeling. We looked at this cute brick house that I want so bad! But, I promised we'd look at one more at least.

I'm back to me!

I get my hair done today and I'm going the gym!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I didn't want to say anything yesterday ...

It wasn't in writing yesterday. It was today. I got a job :) LOL!

Monday, April 14, 2008

That "A-Thump-A-Thump" is my Heart

Ugh. This is what I dread - work. Normally something little like this wouldn't phase me, but the recent month has had me at the edge of my seat just waiting for the next explosion. And I'm sure in some sense I made it worse, but in another - I was just doing what I was told.

A late registration came in Friday while I was at the car dealer (again). By the time I got to the office at 2:00 I was playing catch up and accidentally overlooked the late registration - for Monday morning.

In one sense I'm set to argue, "He didn't tell me!" because part of his job is to make sure the registrations are processed timely. In the other sense (and the path I chose), I apologized, offering the weak argument that I was gone until 2:00 and he left at 3:00 without even looking at the registration.

To bite the bullet, I forwarded his rather smart-remark to MM3 with a lose apology ...

I'll just forward this to you now since I know it'll be talked about.

I was at the car dealer when this came over on Friday and I missed it prior to his leaving that day, I could have sworn (but it's not backed up in email) that I asked him on Friday if we were all caught up on blue sheets and there was no mention of it prior to him leaving. I understand it's not his job; however, to make sure I do mine.

I apologized for missing it.


I completely understand that our office has moved from free-spirited, talk-to-each other mentality to full-throttled who-will-tell-first and this was my attempt at counteracting what I already knew took place in the office while I was out.

I also offered this (with both head bosses bcc'd) to him in attempt of remorse:

That's two short emails from you this morning. Is there something going on that I'm not fully aware of that's making you angry with me?

I do understand that I missed the sheet, I moved it mistakenly to my Information folder thinking I had done it - but apparently had not. Not that it's any excuse, but I also thought we spoke about sheets on Friday and we were squared away? I could be mistaken, I was working on a lot of events that day.

I apologize in advance for whatever I did to make you upset before this as well. Please let me know what it is so I can work in the future towards your best interests.


This is what I HATE. I should not fear my job, my heart should not race, I should not be sick to my stomach anticipating what will happen to me when I arrive tomorrow morning.

Part of me is so irate - I've worked so hard to change a $3K business into a $30K business (that's A MONTH folks), I haven't argued at pay set back's, budget decreases, expense decreases (now if I take a client out - it's on my bill 98% of the time), I've dealt with more people coming on and more responsibilities going away and what I do is still not good enough.

I've also set the pace so that when I leave the business will still thrive. It's become a $20K inside-sales business on its own; honestly, taking away some of the joy of karma upon my absence.

Two years ago it was fun to go to work. It was easy to talk to each other, it was easy to award each other. There was no "coaching meetings" every 2-3 weeks to talk about what issues arose, there wasn't even monthly staff meetings. I loved my job.

Now I need a Tums.

Before I wanted to leave because I wanted the opportunity to grow and make more money, now I'm willing to take a $5K cut in pay to just get out.

Oh tangled-web.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Hmmm.

Micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of their employees, generally used as a derogatory term.[citation needed] In contrast to giving general instructions on smaller tasks while supervising larger concerns, the micromanager monitors and assesses every step, and avoids delegation of decisions. Micromanagement is often easily recognized by employees, but micromanagers rarely view themselves as such.

Micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of their employees, generally used as a derogatory term.[citation needed] In contrast to giving general instructions on smaller tasks while supervising larger concerns, the micromanager monitors and assesses every step, and avoids delegation of decisions. Micromanagement is often easily recognized by employees, but micromanagers rarely view themselves as such.

That's what's going on! Micromanagement from 3 sides. I talked with 2 other employees yesterday and they vented the same frustrations.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Expectations.

One of my friends in from out of town decided she’s setting a list of expectations for her next FWB experience. As I was showering I had to make myself laugh - it’s actually a REALLY good idea. I think it should be implemented in all areas of life. Decisions would be so much easier since things were established beforehand and you can’t let crazy feelings like love or loyalty get in the way.

For instance, let’s say his list says this:

My expectations are ...
1. You pay for everything.
2. I don’t have to work, you can support me.
3. We should have sex 3-4 times a week.
4. You must throw me a birthday party.
5. Valentines day, sweetest day are null & void.
6. When I’m in the band, I’m single and can’t be held accountable for my actions.
7. I will spend no time at your place
8. If you want to see me/spend time with me - you’ll have to come here.
9. I’ll introduce you to a bunch of cool people, you must look hot.
10. You cannot exceed 100 calories a day.

That would have been my ex-boyfriend’s list. Had I known about the expectations ahead of time, I probably would have declined his invitation for coffee. But that’s extreme, in reality my dating list might look like:

1. If you choose to date me, you cannot be on any dating/sex hook up sites after the established time of girlfriend/boyfriend or 5 months out (whatever is sooner).
2. I will be more than happy to pay for 1/2 the time. In fact, I plan on it.
3. If I’m in a dress, I expect you’ll at the very minimum say I look nice. Words like "sexy" and "hot" are great alternatives.
4. I do not have a "great personality" - I know what that means.
5. I want spontaneity - routine is great 75% of the time
6. You should make me laugh or smile at the minimum.
7. Try your best to make my friends like you, their opinion matters more than anything. Especially 5 of them.
8. Sex should be incurred 4-5 times a week, minimum.
9. I don’t like to ask you to do anything more than 3 times - this is how I go crazy.
10. You should stay (or offer to stay) at my house at least once a week.
11. Must love cats.
12. I should be fun.
13. Don't use the phrase, "I can pay - I guess."

So it’s a pretty relatively easy list - but there’s lots of breakers in there... Maybe you hate cats. Maybe you’ve realized that you don’t listen - so 3 times doesn’t seem reasonable. Maybe you hate sex. Maybe you love routine ALL of the time. So after initially meeting, I could hand you the list and you could say, "I can’t do all these things - but you’re great, let’s hang out. (omission of great personality - nice call pretend guy)"

Or maybe things could be a little negotiated from the get go and I get to make the decision - "5 people to like me is a big number" - okay, maybe 3- just win them over. "Can you ask 4 times?" Sure, I can ask 4 times.

And than maybe everything looks great - so you’re in. I mean, I’d have to see your list, but depending on those results, it could be awesome.

And than maybe 6 months down the road, you’ve been boyfriend/girlfriend for 4 months and - oh, you’re on a dating site, so I call you out on it and let you know, "Well, according to my expectation list - I don’t find this behavior acceptable."

This is great leveraging points for people that make really bad relationship choices, like myself (really, that would have been my ex-boyfriend of TWO YEARS’s list).

But alas, I think the check list works much better for FWB than relationships. I also don’t think it’s a fad that will catch on.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

He's going for it.

I talked with the BF around 10:00 - he's going to go for it - he said that he's going to take what my friends say about him to prove he wants to be with me. And just that saying means that they won't say anything.

So on that front ... I need to stop at the bank and get some quarters!! Opening day is just 2 days away!

Go Brewers!

Fight for it.

One of the biggest problems (I did say ONE) I have with the BF is that he doesn't fight for us. He lets me walk away, he doesn't run after me. On Saturday I brought this up to him and he said it's not his way.

Well, Friday is Opening Day and we'll see if he finally does. Five of my overprotective friends will be with us on Opening Day - it's his decision on whether or not to face them or to walk away. I'm hoping he faces them.

See, when the drinks are pouring people have a way of saying whatever is on their mind - and I have a feeling a couple people won't have kind words to say to him when that does happen. Most of them are expecting a sudden illness on Friday morning.

I'm really hoping he decides that he's going to go - no matter what - and prove to my friends that he's there for me.

But we'll see ...