Well ain't that a kick in the face ...

Bad, bad, bad. I'm doing some research for work on facial hair - which #3 has plenty of, so I thought I might be able to interview him, not to mention get to see him because we all know that I have feelings for him. It was all over text, and here's how it went.

MG: So, what's the possibility of me interviewing you on your facial hair strategy?
3: If you can catch me sure.
MG: Your house one hour.
I then did an interview with two guys, so I was a way from my phone for about 5 minutes, so he got a bit nervous
3: Actually, I have choir practice.
3: Actually, I was feeling major guilt over last time.
3: And, well, I met someone last week and we got along uber good (sidenote: you are 35 and you just said uber?)
3: She's a nerd just like me, it's great. Great conversation, great everything (little salt in the wound, how the hell are you supposed to respond to that?)

I've now returned to the on slaught of four text messages, thoroughly punching me in the stomach. Great, I'm a fabulous transition girl. Out of the last six guys I've dated, seen, FBed they all (except one) immediately got into a relationship following our break up.

MG: Great! Couldn't happen to a better guy.
3: She's great, and thanks.
MG: That's what I'm hear for, or so they say.
3: What's that supposed to mean?
MG: I'm a cap.
3: Then I'm psychotic.
MG: I get what you are trying to say here and not sure how to respond (he's a gemini - dual personalities)
3: I'm a gem.
MG: Hello old man - classics degree, I got that.
MG: We are done texting now, right?

Two hours later, while on the phone with Mr. D (who is going in for surgery tomorrow) I get the response "Yeppers."

I toyed with the idea of just deleting his number so that I will no longer be tempted to communicate with him, but i didn't.
In my desperation I also texted #1 that I was sorry for everything, turns out I was wrong in my new years resolution - I can't be the person I was hoping to be.

That was the lightbulb of the evening. I've done what I could to be the good girl, to be the marriage material, to be the girl that can drink a beer with you and the boys then turn around and screw your brains out in the bathroom of the bar. There are comments that always come in hand after each of the men I date:

(1) You are so awesome, you are beautiful and you taught me what it was like to be in a good relationship.
(2) My self esteem went up when I was with you (sidenote: which is why I cheated on you and/or started seeing other people)
(3) I've never had so much fun with sex in my entire life (sidenote: obviously doesn't apply to the situation with #3)

And the fact is that maybe I'm just the transition girl and there's nothing wrong with that, just need to guard the old heart a little bit more.

This rejection is a good thing too, it means that I'm getting my butt in shape. Yes, I go to the gym all the time but I'm really not putting that extra effort in and I'm not watching what I'm eating. The next time he sees me, I'll be in a bikini with abs to die for. It also means that I'm letting go (hail to Carrie Underwood) and it's an opportunity to not hang onto the image that we should be together, which leaves me open for better (and more richer :) ) things.