Weekend Antics

There are days I really have to question my behaviors.

I'll spell it out pretty plain and simply - I don't want to be single anymore! I want to have a consistency in my life that means I get to laugh, cry, cuddle and for gods sake - HAVE SEX! So why, oh why do I attract the guy that sees me as "good enough" and not "enough."

A good possibility is my behavior, and I completely admit to it. The truth is I really do like #4, besides not being my type; however (this is the part that stings) he has told me not just once, but twice, that he doesn't want a relationship. With this in mind, I go out with #1 - who told me the same thing when we started seeing eachother two years ago. A noon trip to the bar may have been what our schedules called for - but not the best for an oh-so Catholic guilty conscious (and I'm not even Catholic ...).

The logistics of this encounter is this - #1 informed me that his current status is that he's seeing someone, not just anyone but a dirty-little secret someone (him not her). I moped about #4 and asked him why I couldn't just find a guy that dug me (response, for all those caring, "stop looking" - reply, for those wanting, that's how I found him!). Moments later the phone rang, it was #4. During our conversation we had a couple of shots (me & #1) and while on hold - we did a little making out. Fast forward 1/2 hour or so, back at his place for a little oral. I had an appointment, so me and my conscious left. My brain told me it was okay, because #3 has said no relationship, my heart called me a dirty slut. The solution? Have #4 come over and see if the sparks fly.

The don't. I haven't been drinking, he has. The smell of booze is not that intoxicating when you don't smell like it too. Another no-cum blow job and a night of sleeping results in an akward morning - and no phone call since.

Lesson of the day? Pants stay zipped 24 hours in between boy encounters. Second lesson of the day? Stop f*cking looking!