The moment.

I had an amazing day yesterday and today.

Yesterday I met the married guy out - he's not married. He's divorced. We had a drink and I went out with Jules before another romp with RS.

I headed to Madison at 8, and was curled up in orgasmic delight by 9. There were a couple moments there that took me a back. I can't remember the situation exactly, but I was standing beside the bed and jumped on the bed, he laughed and said "getting comfortable with me huh?" I laughed back, "It only took 4 years."

The kissing and the cuddling continued, the nuzzling on the neck, talking. I ran my hands across his shaved head and purred as I curled on his muscular shoulder.

"You know, it's not just the sex - I do actually like talking to you." I chuckled, "I like talking to you too, otherwise you'd be out in 10 minutes after we were done." He curled his arm to hold me close and kissed my head as our fingers touched lightly against each other. For the next three hours we talked and had sex. It was a relief, so sweet and simple.

On the way home I contemplated how I could give this up ever and I realized at some point I'm going to have to suck it up and tell him that it's more than sex, I really like him.

Jules has been having a tough time, so today we sat out in the sun drinking beer and Press Cucumber Melon and Vodkas, airing out our past - including mine with RS. She looked at me and laughed, "You love him."

"It can't happen. But I like him."

As she aired out her laundry she talked of a past with an ex-husband that beat her. 2 more drinks and we giggled as I told her I'd show her my ex's online. "You can just find people?"

"Pretty much." As I pulled up RS's guitarists page on myspace. "I dated him." We started reading the information and all of the sudden she read the status out loud "In a relationship" I was flabbergasted. It was like something finally fell into order, it was the final excuse that would release the information. There was no fear in me that he would come back and try to ruin the relationship if he was in one.

Shocked.

Yesterday was any other day, I was $279 short of my $30K goal trying to reach it when a client called and we put together an amazing training schedule. As I plugged the numbers, I called him to let him know it was going to be $50,000. Then he said "That's fine." What? That's fine?

It's not so much the commission check, it's more so the fact that we'll be buying machines so I never again have to travel between our offices with monitors and CPUs. All classrooms will have all 6 computers. That saves me about 3-4 hours a week.

And, then there's the commission check!

Di & I conjured up a plan to get together at the racetrack and just be away for awhile. So May 19 - here we come!

Last night I was at the pub with my students that I mentor recalling the story of Sunday and the Las Vegas guy (they're college students who we talk about this stuff with all the time. I end with "and she tells me he's married. But it doesn't matter, he hasn't called." Then speak of the devil - the phone rings.

It was him and we arranged, if weather permitted, to meet today. I'll have Pete with me, so I won't be able to go inside, but you damn well know that one of the first things I'm asking is his status.

I got home around 8, started making dinner when E called to have me come back out. Since I was going, I thought I might invite LG out. Of course I got 5 million excuses when E took the phone and told him that he should know he's really lucky to even talk to me (she was loaded). She handed back the phone and I closed it.

Everyone keeps trying to convince him to realize what's in front of his face and it came to me that there should be no convincing and I was done.

And now it's Friday. The weather outside is pitiful and rainy. I have to pick up Pete in 2 hours and he'll pounce around the office until 4:30. Maybe the sun will come out and I'll go out with LV, maybe it won't and I'll just go home to the Bumpkin with puppy-in-tow.

Men update.

I'm still trying to catch up from vacation, it's driving me nuts. Between the dogs and my work "social" calendar, I miss being home.

On Sunday we held a surprise party for my boss's birthday - she was indeed surprised. I felt slightly bad that her boy-toy picked up the tab, like I should have kicked in, but the flowers, the vases, the decorations, her presents were all on my bill and I thought that far exceeded his. While out and about afterwards, I was sipping a beer when Jules made a comment about my breasts, which involved me pretending to grab them all sexually - which got the guy walking into the bar's attention.

After chatting, we realized we had been in Vegas at the same time, seen the same Beatles show and went to the same college. I don't know why schools tend to do this to me - but I asked when he graduated ... now remember, this is college ... he said 1989. This year has come by me a few times - as in high school, but not college - so I was a bit shocked.

He gave me his number, to which I wrote down mine and said that I never end up calling - but he can call me. And then I found out he was married. I do swear I looked for a ring.

At the party, LG showed up only to flirt with Jules - but I guess I wasn't paying that close of attention. I got a peck on the lips and a "I'll call you late next week."

RS and I had a semi lunch planned (in our true lunch planning) but he ended up in meetings, guess a late night romp 2 weeks from now might be in order.

My Friday Mistake.

I was horny as all hell while in Vegas, and being that I was traveling with mom, there was no hanky-panky going on. So here I get back to good old WI with a heck of a freak-me-please going on.

Due to the doggy sitting, I put the puppy in his crate at 2am, figuring that I'd be home by 6am and it wouldn't be a big deal (owner prefers he be crated at a minimum 8-12 hour increments). I head out to good old Madison for a little evening fun.

Funny thing about that is - I wore his shit out. He was ready to pass out after he came, such not the normal case between the two of us, as I try to urge one more go round. I laid there in silence while he feel asleep, and the next thing I knew - I had slept over.

STRICTLY AGAINST MY RULES. I left as soon as I realized, almost opening the door before his pants were still on (the naked activity began in the living room). He still hasn't texted - this is why I don't sleep over!

Doggie Hell.

Please note my calendar below and then question me on why my apartment is a mess.

Dog #1 - March 19 - March 30

Dog #2 - April 6 - April 20

Dog #3 - April 20 - April 25

Dog #4 - April 27 - April 29

Dogs #5 & 6 - April 29 - May 5

Now, I did try to say no to dog #3, until E told his owner that we'd tag team - then she took him for one night. And dog #4 is Pete - and technically I'm supposed to have him until the 30th but begged my sister to take him.

On the other notes, it's decent money. Dog #1 was $100, Dog #2 was $250 - all of what went to Vegas. Dog #3 doesn't pay well, dog #4 will be free, but dogs 5 & 6 will pay well. But, I'm exhausted.

Post Vaca Rehash

So I came back broke, but had a lot of fun doing it - so it's alright, right?

After 4 days of gambling, one day only of being ridiculously drunk (what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas but let's just say there was a rodeo and I was at the roulette table harassing the boys in 10 gallon hats and tight jeans), we trotted back on to the plane and went right back to work the next day. I already miss vacation.

The Tape Worm Dies after Vegas.

When I get back from vacation there's going to be some major changes. Everyone in the office has put on a good chunk of weight with the onset of winter and we've jokingly been saying we've got a tape worm that needs to be fed. I called E last night and said, "We're making a deal - the tape worm dies on Tuesday, April 24. Every Monday we weigh ourselves, loser buys lunch." It was a fine statement since we seem to switch buying lunch at least 2 a week and puts a little competition into the mix.

So that's the first change. The second change is that I'm quitting smoking. 2 years of 1/2 a pack to a full pack a day and I'm quitting (with the help of Commit), which plays into how hard the above will be. But both are changes that are a long time coming.

2 Days and Counting!

So I got my check stub today that says how much I'll be paid tomorrow, after all the bills and miscellaneous items I'll get to take another $100 bringing my Vegas gambling money to about $1,000. Not too shabby for 5 days since I'm not a big spender when I'm there.

I still have to go shopping and get a swimsuit since we're bound and determined this go-round for some fun in the sun. Since it's snowing in good-old WI it'll be nice to come back with some color.

In the meantime, my dad was supposed to take the dog tonight but he's not feeling overly well. I was a little perturbed as the bumpkin has been sitting in the back room for the last week and I wanted the night with him. E offered to take him tonight so I could spend some QT with the cat while I finish laundry and packing.

Ready for Vaca.

It's been a good amount of time since I've actually left (since September to be exact) and now I'm itching to leave for a number of reasons. I can't wait for Vegas, no need to check time, to eat, to behave. To be PC, to have responsibility, to have to get up at 5:30am to walk the dog.

Work is driving me insane. I can't wait to allude all responsibility with event planning and selling classes. Not to mention to flee my co-workers for a bit of sanity found in the bottom of a Captain & Diet while putting $50 on red.

I've been dogsitting, and I love dogsitting, but it just requires so much time and energy. He's going by my dad's for the week.

Boys. I'll be glad to get away from them because, while I decided to cut ties with LG, I still kind of wanted to be able to say that to him but instead we haven't talked since Saturday. And RS, well, it'll be nice to get away and have him want sex like an uncontrolled, push me against the wall, lift my skirt and kiss me kind of way.

My apartment. I will be so glad to not worry about heat being on, gas leaking, ceilings leaking and so on.

Wisconsin. It's snowing today. I'll be glad to be away from the snow!

3 Days Before Vegas.

I left work early today due to my late night last night in the hopes of doing laundry and packing for Vegas. I started laundry only to find that my dryer isn't really drying anything. I've ran the same load three times while washing load after load, letting it pile up in the hopes that the temperature was wrong or that the timing was off to no avail. I'm actually starting to think about moving.

I moved in at the beginning of November to stories of kitchen remodeling. My kitchen is not remodeled. My ceiling leaks in the rain, my switch plates and electrical outlets don't have plates. My dryer is broken. My gas stove leaks so I can't leave it on unless I want to die during the middle of the night. I pay $650 for a one bedroom, I pay $250 for gas and electrical. I'm starting to think I'm getting ripped off.

I've informed the landlords last month with my rent that I will be on vacation for a week starting on Friday and I hoped that the kitchen would be completed. If it's not, I'm going to include a note with my rent listing out all the repairs that need to be done and letting them know that I would like a reduction on rent or notice of when it will be completed so I can decide if I want to move out.

In the meantime my suitcase is not packed and tomorrow's the last day to do it. I'm hoping to get it done!

What I DON'T Want to Hear About

Call it PMS or lack of sleep, but this isn't what I wanted to see when I opened my browser this morning:

Featured headline on Yahoo! News "Dreamed Number Dials Love" (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070409/od_nm/britain_text_dc)

LONDON (Reuters) - A British man has met and married a 22-year-old woman after, by his own account, dreaming of her phone number and then sending her a text message.
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David Brown, 24, says he woke up one morning after a night out with friends with a telephone number constantly running through his head. He decided to contact it, sending a message saying "Did I meet you last night?."

Random recipient Michelle Kitson was confused and wary at first but decided to reply and the two began exchanging messages. Eventually they met and fell in love.

"It was really weird but I was absolutely hooked," Kitson told the Daily Mail newspaper. "My mum and dad kept saying 'But he could be an axe murderer', but I knew there was something special about it."

After a long courtship, the oddly matched couple -- he's six foot seven inches tall and she's five foot four -- have just returned from their honeymoon in the Indian resort of Goa.

A love-struck Brown said: "I've no idea how I ended up with her number in my head -- it's only a few digits different from mine."

Time to think.

After talking with my sister over her heartbreak and then her thoughts on LG, I think I've opted out of that relationship.

I forgot the downside to relationships, the pain and heartbreak of when a person leaves. There's already been enough drama with the waitress, that if I'm going to put it all on the line - I better get it all in return.

While at the bar, LG decided to declare for himself that my family loved him - in front of two of my family members. My sister's response?

"Actually no. We like PA better than you."

"Whatever, your mom loved me."

"No she didn't. You see LG, any man - anyone - would be lucky enough to have MG in his life that he shouldn't need some 20 year old piece of ass with a boyfriend. I lack any respect for you until you show her respect."

Her boyfriend chipped in, "Damn straight. That girl is one of the best people I know. You're a fool for not seeing that. Obviously PA does."

Granted this is under the influence of alcohol but I opted to say nothing because they were right. It didn't stop me from making out with him, but at the end of the night he had to leave to make a phone call - not just any call, one away and outside of the building. In retrospective the next two days it dawned on me that (a) it was the waitress and (b) he'd go outside for her but not for me (at the tailgate, he stayed in the car).

I'm thinking they're right - anyone should be glad and I'm too good to put up with this crap. So LG's getting his walking papers for good.

Meet Pete

On Sunday morning I walked the dog I'm sitting and started boiling the noodles for my homemade pasta salad when "Candy Man" started ringing on my phone. Knife in one hand, I swung over to my phone and noticed it was my dad "Hello?"

"Bring the dog and come over now."

"What?" I said stunned, "I haven't showered and still need to prep food for Easter at Mom's."

"We've got to get out to Genesse Depot and look at puppies. You can shower when you're done."

I quickly put together all my ingredients in a Pick N Save bag and headed on over to my dad's in Franklin.

My sister came over looking like hell, I chucked, "Hung over from yesterday?"

"No me & my boyfriend broke up. He took his stuff and moved out."

I was stunned. They were just together on Saturday having a blast at the tailgate. She was in no mood to talk, so I let her be. With tears in her eyes, she opted out of seeing the puppies, much to my dad's dismay.

We headed out to the farm and found ourselves surrounded by little dogs, chirping for our attention. There was 7 "liver" colored Brittany's and one orange. My dad was determined to get the little liver colored girl, but the little orange boy was determined to be his. As he cuddled a shaking puppy, the orange guy and I played and chased each other. As I saw my dad go down to kiss the little girl, I told the boy that if he wanted to go home with us he had to schmooze that guy. To which he immediately went over and nosed my dad. He was sold.

I asked my dad what he was going to name him, "Easter." He said and smiled. I laughed, "You can't name a boy Easter." He said he sure could, he just paid $500 for the puppy!

When we brought him home my sister and older brother joined in the laughter, so we all got to choose names and figure out which one the little guy liked.

"Easter," My dad called him. He perked up from his stick and ran over and rolled on the ground.

"Fred," My sister called him. He paid no attention.

"Torque," My brother tried, but to no avail.

"Wrench?" My brother tried again.

"Pete!" I yelled, to which the little guy got up from rolling in the grass and promptly nibbled at my finger in between licks.

"I guess it's Petey." My dad said.

Meeting the parents.

So LG & PA both met my mom, step-dad, sister and her boyfriend yesterday at the tailgate. It was snowing, but we all toughed it out over the blazing grill. Well, I say "we" but I really mean everyone but LG. We cooked, we talked, and everyone joked about what a wuss LG was - the least he could do is STOP drinking in his car and smoking non-stop.

As it turns out, LG wasn't just smoking Camels he was toking up as well - which I didn't see, but J and my step-dad did. With my history of drug users, this didn't go over incredibly well with the peeps.

The game was great, we headed out for drinks after and then to Long Wong's for some Chinese. LG, PA & I went bowling. Then I promptly called a cab and went home.

Saturday is supposed to be fun.

Now I'm getting concerned with the whole tailgate thing. I should know that baseball, boys and me don't seem to mix.

Like the time I dated the guy that owned the pizza place in Lyons. He broke up with me the morning before the tailgate - but still offered to go. It was awkward. When too much drinking took place I may have yelled, "I regret sucking your dick." He left shortly after.

We need to be at MP at 10:00 in the morning for our rockstar parking and tailgate mishaps. It's supposed to be 32 degrees. Note to self, over lunch I need to buy a sweatshirt. I had originally aimed for a 10:00 meeting, but was informed by 3 participants in our 14 person tailgate that to get there at 10:00 we all better meet at 9:30am. So I emailed the group the following retraction:

"We need to get in the lot by 10 - so it's Target at 9:30!"

Most people wrote back with "Holy crap"s and other notes from all over. LG didn't reply, so I called on my way to Madison last night.

"It's MG - so we need to be on the lot by 10 - so it's 9:30 at Target. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Talk to you later."

I got no call back. I think that might have been part of the reason I couldn't cum in the first hour of messing around with RS, a bit distracted. After the adventurous night, when my phone read "1 Voicemail Message" I smiled thinking it was him - instead it was my boss. Can't say that I wasn't disappointed.

This morning I get this message:

"MG - sounds good - see you then. LG"

I toyed with writing back some funny comment or seeing if he wanted to get together tonight, but then I remembered the waitress and of course - my little rendezvous last night and I figure it's no big deal.

I'll just smile and play nice tomorrow.

I've never came like that.

Holy crap, last night was very interesting.

I arrived in Madison around 8:00pm and messed around with RS for about an hour. To save my life I couldn't have an orgasm. Finally I directed him to lay down, his finger tips ran slowly on my back and we, ummm, worked things out. It wasn't the most spectacular orgasm ever, but it did the job. For a week I have been attempting things on my own to no avail.

For the next hour I came 2 more times (he also did) and then we laid and talked, joked for another 1/2 hour.

"Shit," I looked at the clock, "It's 10:30, I gotta go."

He pushed me back on the bed, "It's 11:30"

"What?" I jolted up in shock. "The clock says 10:30!"

"I didn't reset it after daylight savings time. And you're not going anywhere."

We had the most spectacular sex after that. For the next hour it was brilliant. Then the weird thing happened, I came like I never have before. Literally, I collapsed on top of him, rolled slightly over to the side and passed out - for almost an hour. I never actually slept. It was one of those moments where you can't open your eyes, your aware of everything - the sound of him drifting out to sleep for 15 minutes, the sub-pump in th basement. I just couldn't move. My toes tingled.

When I finally did get up to leave it was 1:30. I drug my tired, relaxed butt back to Milwaukee, fed the cat and went to sleep.

51 degrees.

It's 10:00, 51 degrees in my apartment. I cleaned when I got home, washed 2 weeks worth of dishes and listened to Regina Spektor. I lit candles and took a bath. Saw LOST for the first time since January. Cuddled with the bumpkin. And did one of my favorite things to reflect on moments, had a smoke on the back porch.

The bumpkin loves my cigarette pack. He knows he can go outside, sniff the real air, listen to the real birds and he joyful rubs my legs as we sit out there for a minute or two.

I love the reflection moments. I think about things, the exciting things I'd say to people I'm angry at, the heartful things I would say if the moment was ever right to the ones I love and sometimes I think of nothing.

Tonight I thought about my little game I played with LG. I smiled at myself, 1/2 wishing I would have done in Anonymous's way and 1/2 happy the way I did it.

It's still not the end result that I dream about on my back porch, that he realizes that I'm better. Sometimes I think it's a stepping stone but then I wonder what is wrong with me in the sense that I'd even want to be with this guy.

I come in to the new ringtone buzzing on my phone - the one that is for one person only - RS. "So what are you wearing?"

I smile and close the phone, curl up on the couch under a blanket because it's only 51 degrees. Open it back up and look at the message again.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes. I would."

"Something sexy."

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"You?"

"8:30?"

"Wear the shirt that snaps."

Let's Play Ball.

So on Saturday I got lots of primo tickets for the Brewers vs the Cubbies from our connections at work. We've pulled together a tailgate and I mistakenly offered to take LG a couple weeks ago.

His recent behavior has made me want to re-nig on this option; however, I've decided that's spiteful and I did tell him the tickets were his birthday present so I'll suck it up and still go with him.

Upon a new head count, we discovered we had 2 extra tickets. In true, stereographic fashion, I dropped him a text this morning to let him know I didn't appreciate the spectacle of the waitress on Monday.

"I've got an extra ticket to the game - since it's your 'birthday' do you want to invite anyone else to the game?"

Did you depict my little game? He didn't. He called around noon saying that he was indeed going with me and I couldn't give up his ticket. I called back.

"Your an idiot."

"Huh?"

"I have an EXTRA ticket. Do you want to bring a guest?"

"Shit. I can't read. Umm, well who would I invite?"

"I don't know - what about the waitress? It was so fun being uncomfortable around her on Monday, we could do it again. Then instead of crashing my parties, she could just hang out and watch the game."

"I was thinking PA."

"I'm just saying - it would be delightful."

Uncomfortable laughter, "I get the point."

"Talk to you later ..."

Welcome to Wisconsin.

On Monday I got sun burn at opening day.

On Tuesday I suffered from dehydration, but the flooding outside helped.

Today it's snowing.

Tomorrow is calling for Fall-like conditions and the weathermen are telling us to get out our sweaters right after we unpacked our shorts.

Maybe Visit Milwaukee can use that in its pitch to conferences ... "SEE ALL THE SEASONS IN JUST FOUR DAYS!"

A New Addiction.

I really like Lily Allen.

I also really like Regina Spektor. I shared Lily with my boss and he suggested her ... check out her video :)

Angry MG.

I'm mostly smiles and handshakes and hugs. Very rarely does Angry MG loom her head to her friends and co-workers. Today she perked out around 5:00.

First there was yesterday - opening day. I was excited, I love baseball and I love my Brewers. There's also that point of drinking at 9am and seeing how long you can hold out with out puking and passing out. Around 9 LG showed up with PA. I was busy doing my initial hellos that they sat by themselves. After we got settled, we hung out most of the time. At one point he left as I did rounds for a phone call - moments later his waitress showed up. At MY party - the one with 70 co-workers and friends. Granted, it was open season since it was our tent, but I thought it dis-tastful and pounded some beer.

She left a bit later and we proceeded to the game, ended up kissing, then headed on the bus and then the bar. Hanging out in the back we flirted and then I turned around and she was back - with her boyfriend.

Everyone decided to hit up a local Mexican joint for guacamole and chips, I was to spread the word. I went up to his little circle, "We're going to the restaurant, wanna come?" Her boyfriend said no, but she said yes, that she would just go with LG.

By now I'm a good amount of drunk and made some calls to yell at friends about my situation but headed in all smiles. They weren't there so I sipped a margarita, ate a chip and went home to pass out.

At 10:00 my phone rang and it said "PA" so I ignored it, snuggled into my blankets under the cracking of thunder and decided to listen tomorrow. When I did get the message this morning it was LG, not PA. He'd call me tomorrow. Yup, looking forward to that.

I didn't feel so hot this morning to begin with but took a moment to smile at the Bumpkin as he ate his food on top of my fridge. Drip.

I looked up, the giant crack in my ceiling leaked - on my head. Then I noticed it was all over the kitchen floor. Plopping down towels, I headed out with nothing to say or do about it.

When E arrived this morning the first thing out of her mouth was if I made out with a client last night, turns out the girl he was with was crying and she didn't know why. I was completely insulted! (A) It's a client - NO. (B) I left about 10 minutes after we got there and (C) don't you think my concentration would be on LG? Blowing it off I went back to my work.

Work went well and when we lost internet for an hour I started to work on our specials.

I sent them out after carefully researching the different clubs and their happenings, satisfied with my content, to our co-workers. Tagged on the email is a clear description that we would not discuss changes, you would make yours and I would take them into consideration. About 20 minutes later, I was finally irritated enough by her constant "What about this change?" that her comment about me needing a handbook on how to write our terms that I snapped back "Why? It's not like anything I write actually makes it into the newsletter." She looked at me, shocked because I'm more of a yes girl than anything else, "You know I'm a stickler for grammar." I grabbed my machine and put it in it's bag, looked at her and said - "Just make your changes." As I attempted to leave she questioned more things and I got fed up so I just left - it was 5:15.

On my ride home I called #1 back and chatted quickly about my day - of course with angry undertones.

"Wow. Haven't seen Angry MG in about 3 months. It's kind of scary."

"Come on," I whined back, "she only comes out once every 3 months? That's pretty good."

We chuckled and his phone disconnected. Now it's back at home to clean up the water mess in my kitchen and do laundry. Oh joy!