Only so much can be said about a balding old guy that likes to give relationship advice - oh wait, I guess a ton can because they are all ex people I've slept with. Yes I'm attracted to the older bald guy but not the Dr. Phil guy, perhaps this is why I can put an "ex" in front of their names.
After reiterating the "Baby's Daddy" story to all my companions (which I may have been offended at at first, but now finding incredibly amusing), a couple decided to opt on giving me relationship advice. No matter how I joke about Dr. Phil, it was pretty relevant and I thought I'd share.
(a) Perhaps I should stop hitting on men and let them hit on me.
(b) If you have to ask before messing around with someone if they have a child or a girlfriend, you obviously should not mess around with them.
(c) Choice locations for quality guys does not include corner bars (LOL - all of which I met the lovely Dr. Phil's administering this advice at).
(d) From now on all guys must have (1) Shelter of some kind - paper box does not count; however apartments do and perhaps an igloo (2) a job and a (3) car - with the exception of Chicago or New York because they don't have to have one to get around (not an ex's advice, a friend's - but still relevant).
(e) For the love of God, stop dating south side guys.
Now, I have great answers to why I shouldn't follow - but they are really excuses.
(a) I am impatient, why waste time? If I like, I get. RESPONSE: Then you have to like what you get - ie a baby's daddy.
(b) Touche - but at least I ask so I can say that the guy denied it. RESPONSE: He'll deny you if it gets serious. Don't ask, don't tell.
(c) But I love corner bars! RESPONSE: Fine, but don't pick up guys there and see (a).
(d) No excuse for this one - good solid advice
(e) But I live on the south side! All the eastsiders and downtowners won't travel out here. RESPONSE: see (a).
Advice I will follow for at least a week.
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2 comments:
It doesn't make u better or worse depending what side of a bridge you live on. Old, bald and drunk at a corner bar is like a pile of shit in a fresh snow, try meeting people at the gym. I usually meet girls at the high school and that works well for me but I just don't know how to meet guys.
NO MORE DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS! NO MORE DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS!
Try:
The library.
The gym.
Take a Home Depot (most are FREE) do-it-yourself class - they're always hosting them and FULL of guys. And, you actually get to learn a pretty cool skill that will save you $$ later.
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