First the drama. Holy crap, I need to keep my mouth shut as R has brought in the horses.
She ended up myspacing (f*cking Myspace) J, who responded that she can't trust anyone anymore (mainly me, of course) and she's laying low and isn't sure how she got involved in the whole thing. Honestly, she was just a bystander but to me she chooses her companions and obviously if he is this type of person to (a) someone he's known for 6 years and (b) someone he's slept with - what makes her special?
In the one sense, one thing did get blown out of proportion, I never had mentioned SC spreading rumors about R's weekend, just that he mentioned it was what he thought. That got out of hand and I take full responsibility.
I'm so tired of it. So sick of it. My hororscope said today "Things happen for a reason ... and in good time you'll know what that reason is." Hopefully "in good time" is soon.
Anyhow, in update news ...
BG left the funniest drunk voicemail Friday, after listening to only a minute of the 5 I woke JL up to enjoy the humor. As the message played it got funnier towards the end - but then he said, "I'm kind of scared ... umm ... I like you." Click.
I sat with my jaw wide open, I was not expecting that whatsoever. Especially since not but 6 hours before I heard it I was with CB.
So backing up a second, Friday CB joined me out and we had a great walk - turns out the relaxation got to me a bit more than I thought and I ended up passed out shortly there after. There was no kissing, as usual.
Saturday he invited me to a house party, but again - I fell asleep.
Sunday we went to the game and there was basically nothing happening. I dropped him off at home and decided I was done. I couldn't handle not knowing and the little things that count to me haven't been happening.
Monday I went out with #1 when CB called as I was explaining how done I was - turns out on Friday I invited CB to BG's gig. Crap. In shock I said, "I invited you to that?" And to recover I mentioned I didn't know how I'd feel - I would be having surgery.
Tuesday I woke up with a hangover. I won't recount the events in yesterday's post but that basically summarizes it.
Fast forward to this Friday, BG is in DC and CB and I made plans to go out with R. In the meantime, I'm finishing up work when I get an IM, "WRUW?" from RS.
Shocked, RS mentioned he thought I was mad because I hadn't called in 2 weeks. I explained after the last blow off the ball was in his court. This through me for a loop!
I toyed with the results of Friday - if it were bad, I'd go to Madison, but we had a blast and I ended up kissing CB which led to making out all night long. He's even getting better! So i've stayed in MKE all weekend! Yeah me!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Why friends shouldn't do other peoples friends.
So much to write ... sorry for the lack of updates; however, there's been a hell of a lot of lack of sleep and, of course, a good handful of drama. Where to start?
J has been seeing a friend of mine for a couple months now, who is a NOTORIOUS womanizer, and so not monogamous - even when he likes someone. He even has been known to pass a girl on to a friend and then break up with her because she "cheated" on him. We're going to call him SC or self-centered.
For the most part I haven't minded their relationship, it seemed to be "fun" and not serious. Well, then SC started seeing another friend of mine, R, and things got weird. J knows R, but has never mentioned that all while SC was hanging out with R she was messing around with him too.
Well, SC & J were out at a bar and SC introduced a "friend" - FYI, another girl he's messing around with on the side and made it clear to J that he wasn't ready to settle down. She did the right thing and told him she needed to step back, he got offended and left her at the bar. Thank God I was there, because I drove her back.
I'm not sure why, but J then continued to mess around with SC and we got the 1/2 brained scheme to make up a dude to just give him a piece of his own medicine. Well, in natural fashion, it didn't go over well.
Fast forward to Tuesday, I had surgery which did not go well. Another round in biopsy land and found out that I have to have 3 more done, under sedation. A bit upset, I called J and said that I hoped she could drive me to & home from surgery and I couldn't wait for some girl time at 6:30 (we were supposed to meet up and see BG's band play later and she was, for once, going to drive, since I wasn't feeling up to it). Well, about 1/2 an hour later she calls saying that her and SC were going for a ride and they would meet up with me after 6:30. Pissed, I told her to just hang out with SC then, I'd go home. She called back and said she'd meet me at 6:30 with him. Well, they showed on his bike (so much for the ride) ... we had some dinner & drinks, I got stuck with the bill and then we headed out to the bar to see the band.
BG was setting up so I let him do his thing and we all played darts, in the mean time SC is being a dick. At one point I informed him that tonight wasn't actually about him - it was about me. This didn't stop him.
We went into the bar and got a table, I got a beer. CB showed up (turns out I invited him on Friday when I was a little drunk) and J turns to me to inform me that her & SC were fighting and needed to leave. I told her to let him leave, I'd drive her back, she insisted that they needed to leave. I told her this wasn't about them, tonight was about me. She apologized saying that she'd make it up to me and promptly left me sitting at the table.
I left shortly after, but was still incredibly pissed. I called SC & J, leaving them a similar message along these lines ...
I'm incredibly pissed at you right now. Tonight was not about SC & J, it was about a supposed friend that had surgery and got bad news. I don't understand how our friendship works. So I can see you guys, we go out every week and I pay because you're broke, when you fight, I talk to you in the middle of the night. I had surgery for godsake and you can't even hang around with me? This friendship is ridiculous. You're a shitty friend.
I promptly went home and deleted SC as my friend on myspace, juvenile - yes, but I was over our friendship.
Fast forward to the morning after and an array of text messages from J.
J: Look, I told you I was sorry before I even left last night. I feel awful. But I didn't have a choice whether or not to stay. If I did I would have. Again, I'm sorry."
MG: Actually you did...you chose not to stay. You know I would've drove you.
J: I didn't want you to. Last week was embarassing enough AND my purse and keys were in his bedroom.
J:I will give you the money friday, you know I had it last night, things just got out of control. Again I'm sorry ...
MG: It doesn't matter anyhow and I don't want the money ...
J: It does matter. It all does. UR one of my best friends and I love you. I should not have left and I did for various reasons. But I can't change that. I'm sorry
Well, that was just the start. R myspaced me in the morning that she noticed SC wasn't one of my friends and she hoped he didn't delete me because of her (he deleted her that day as well). I emailed her back that he deleted her because he thought she messed around with another friend of ours this weekend. She said no, the only person that she's been sleeping with is SC.
Wait. What? SC had told J and me, more so incinuated to J and me, that he had not slept with her. J had informed me that he had the HPV strain that gives you genital warts and, as a friend to her and because HPV has ruined my life, I needed to tell R. I side stepped and asked if they used a condom - turns out he insisted that they not because she was on the pill. I told her to get tested, he had genital warts. Okay, probably not smart but I would expect someone to tell me if the tables were turned.
After hanging out awhile, I called J, realizing sh*t was about to hit the fan big time. I left her a message, Listen, as your friend I will let you know that I went out with R tonight and there's somethings you should know. R & SC have been having sex, he insisted on them not using a condom. I told her about the STD, she also didn't sleep with X and, by the way, SC insisting she's psychotically text messaging and calling him - turns out he starts those conversations, I saw the call & text log.
Of course I haven't heard anything from her, nor do I intend to. In a way SC and her are perfect for eachother, but in another way I just know she's screwing up friendships and he'll end up screwing her - both figuratively and actually - and she'll have no one to turn too.
J has been seeing a friend of mine for a couple months now, who is a NOTORIOUS womanizer, and so not monogamous - even when he likes someone. He even has been known to pass a girl on to a friend and then break up with her because she "cheated" on him. We're going to call him SC or self-centered.
For the most part I haven't minded their relationship, it seemed to be "fun" and not serious. Well, then SC started seeing another friend of mine, R, and things got weird. J knows R, but has never mentioned that all while SC was hanging out with R she was messing around with him too.
Well, SC & J were out at a bar and SC introduced a "friend" - FYI, another girl he's messing around with on the side and made it clear to J that he wasn't ready to settle down. She did the right thing and told him she needed to step back, he got offended and left her at the bar. Thank God I was there, because I drove her back.
I'm not sure why, but J then continued to mess around with SC and we got the 1/2 brained scheme to make up a dude to just give him a piece of his own medicine. Well, in natural fashion, it didn't go over well.
Fast forward to Tuesday, I had surgery which did not go well. Another round in biopsy land and found out that I have to have 3 more done, under sedation. A bit upset, I called J and said that I hoped she could drive me to & home from surgery and I couldn't wait for some girl time at 6:30 (we were supposed to meet up and see BG's band play later and she was, for once, going to drive, since I wasn't feeling up to it). Well, about 1/2 an hour later she calls saying that her and SC were going for a ride and they would meet up with me after 6:30. Pissed, I told her to just hang out with SC then, I'd go home. She called back and said she'd meet me at 6:30 with him. Well, they showed on his bike (so much for the ride) ... we had some dinner & drinks, I got stuck with the bill and then we headed out to the bar to see the band.
BG was setting up so I let him do his thing and we all played darts, in the mean time SC is being a dick. At one point I informed him that tonight wasn't actually about him - it was about me. This didn't stop him.
We went into the bar and got a table, I got a beer. CB showed up (turns out I invited him on Friday when I was a little drunk) and J turns to me to inform me that her & SC were fighting and needed to leave. I told her to let him leave, I'd drive her back, she insisted that they needed to leave. I told her this wasn't about them, tonight was about me. She apologized saying that she'd make it up to me and promptly left me sitting at the table.
I left shortly after, but was still incredibly pissed. I called SC & J, leaving them a similar message along these lines ...
I'm incredibly pissed at you right now. Tonight was not about SC & J, it was about a supposed friend that had surgery and got bad news. I don't understand how our friendship works. So I can see you guys, we go out every week and I pay because you're broke, when you fight, I talk to you in the middle of the night. I had surgery for godsake and you can't even hang around with me? This friendship is ridiculous. You're a shitty friend.
I promptly went home and deleted SC as my friend on myspace, juvenile - yes, but I was over our friendship.
Fast forward to the morning after and an array of text messages from J.
J: Look, I told you I was sorry before I even left last night. I feel awful. But I didn't have a choice whether or not to stay. If I did I would have. Again, I'm sorry."
MG: Actually you did...you chose not to stay. You know I would've drove you.
J: I didn't want you to. Last week was embarassing enough AND my purse and keys were in his bedroom.
J:I will give you the money friday, you know I had it last night, things just got out of control. Again I'm sorry ...
MG: It doesn't matter anyhow and I don't want the money ...
J: It does matter. It all does. UR one of my best friends and I love you. I should not have left and I did for various reasons. But I can't change that. I'm sorry
Well, that was just the start. R myspaced me in the morning that she noticed SC wasn't one of my friends and she hoped he didn't delete me because of her (he deleted her that day as well). I emailed her back that he deleted her because he thought she messed around with another friend of ours this weekend. She said no, the only person that she's been sleeping with is SC.
Wait. What? SC had told J and me, more so incinuated to J and me, that he had not slept with her. J had informed me that he had the HPV strain that gives you genital warts and, as a friend to her and because HPV has ruined my life, I needed to tell R. I side stepped and asked if they used a condom - turns out he insisted that they not because she was on the pill. I told her to get tested, he had genital warts. Okay, probably not smart but I would expect someone to tell me if the tables were turned.
After hanging out awhile, I called J, realizing sh*t was about to hit the fan big time. I left her a message, Listen, as your friend I will let you know that I went out with R tonight and there's somethings you should know. R & SC have been having sex, he insisted on them not using a condom. I told her about the STD, she also didn't sleep with X and, by the way, SC insisting she's psychotically text messaging and calling him - turns out he starts those conversations, I saw the call & text log.
Of course I haven't heard anything from her, nor do I intend to. In a way SC and her are perfect for eachother, but in another way I just know she's screwing up friendships and he'll end up screwing her - both figuratively and actually - and she'll have no one to turn too.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Fishing in a pond.
See September 12 post for why I'm talking about fish and ponds.
So I took up my real and dipped it into a new pond and the fish bit quiet rapidly. But then I got all excited and went to another pond, and that fish bite right away. Well the first fish grew legs (or balls for that matter) and walked over while fishing at the pond and now, presto, my pole is in too many ponds at one time.
Here's the run down. Fish #1 - or CB - and I had a great weekend, again. He has not called/emailed or anything since then.
So I toy with Fish #2 - or BG - which notoriously means that CB isn't far behind.
And then there's Fish #3 - or RS - who is way the hell in Madison.
And I may have dipped my toes into the water last night after the tailgate into pond 4 for another fish - just for fun (or JF).
So, I posted about Friday. I ended up sick on Saturday/Sunday this weekend, but it really didn't matter since no one called anyhow. On comes yesterday and our tailgate party.
I picked up #1 (as in the guy - not the fish) related the story to him to which he points out, "These are the days of MG's life." Nice, ha ha ha.
The boys were having fun yaking it up with the people at our party and I was talking to a friend that I've known for about 6 months. When I first saw him on our bowling leagues (I know, I know - another one), I wanted him. But my boss got him and we just became friends. He's since made out with NUMEROUS amounts of my friends, me not included. We kept joking about making out all night long and we may have kissed at the bar in Miller Park - but nothing serious.
Then came the after bar, which I was bored (driving - so not drinking) at so I turned to JF and said, "I'm bored - want to make out." 1/2 heartedly joking and 1/2 serious, because I was bored and everyone said he was a great kisser. So why not try? We disappeared for 20 minutes and made out like 8th graders - although, he did touch my boob (on the outside of my shirt of course) so he's gotten further in one night then CB in 2 months ... but I digress.
I got kind of bored with that as well. The kissing was good, but it was nothing like RS. So we went back upstairs. I pumped his ego a bit, "you're a pretty good kisser - I give you that." He replied, "Yeah -about that. You. Wow." To which I made a coy comment along the lines of a BJ and a wink and kept walking.
We left the bar shortly after. I got a text message on the way home, "Get home safe. You're a damn good kisser, just so you know." There was banter of me going over there but I opted to spend the night in my own bed instead.
Well today I sent pictures to everyone at the outing and he responded with "Thanks chickie. Had a great time last night." To which the banter included that we could do it again tonight, I'll be in his hood. After a bit of back and forth he ends up sending me this email ...
"Let's keep this between you and me. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, I just don't want any false perceptions about me any where. I'll do the same and not say anything either. Am I being weird here?"
WHAT? Brakes. Okay, that's weird. I replied that I agreed (because I do) because I didn't want CB or BG to find out about it either. Hey - I'm a dirty little secret again? Not so happy with that.
So I took up my real and dipped it into a new pond and the fish bit quiet rapidly. But then I got all excited and went to another pond, and that fish bite right away. Well the first fish grew legs (or balls for that matter) and walked over while fishing at the pond and now, presto, my pole is in too many ponds at one time.
Here's the run down. Fish #1 - or CB - and I had a great weekend, again. He has not called/emailed or anything since then.
So I toy with Fish #2 - or BG - which notoriously means that CB isn't far behind.
And then there's Fish #3 - or RS - who is way the hell in Madison.
And I may have dipped my toes into the water last night after the tailgate into pond 4 for another fish - just for fun (or JF).
So, I posted about Friday. I ended up sick on Saturday/Sunday this weekend, but it really didn't matter since no one called anyhow. On comes yesterday and our tailgate party.
I picked up #1 (as in the guy - not the fish) related the story to him to which he points out, "These are the days of MG's life." Nice, ha ha ha.
The boys were having fun yaking it up with the people at our party and I was talking to a friend that I've known for about 6 months. When I first saw him on our bowling leagues (I know, I know - another one), I wanted him. But my boss got him and we just became friends. He's since made out with NUMEROUS amounts of my friends, me not included. We kept joking about making out all night long and we may have kissed at the bar in Miller Park - but nothing serious.
Then came the after bar, which I was bored (driving - so not drinking) at so I turned to JF and said, "I'm bored - want to make out." 1/2 heartedly joking and 1/2 serious, because I was bored and everyone said he was a great kisser. So why not try? We disappeared for 20 minutes and made out like 8th graders - although, he did touch my boob (on the outside of my shirt of course) so he's gotten further in one night then CB in 2 months ... but I digress.
I got kind of bored with that as well. The kissing was good, but it was nothing like RS. So we went back upstairs. I pumped his ego a bit, "you're a pretty good kisser - I give you that." He replied, "Yeah -about that. You. Wow." To which I made a coy comment along the lines of a BJ and a wink and kept walking.
We left the bar shortly after. I got a text message on the way home, "Get home safe. You're a damn good kisser, just so you know." There was banter of me going over there but I opted to spend the night in my own bed instead.
Well today I sent pictures to everyone at the outing and he responded with "Thanks chickie. Had a great time last night." To which the banter included that we could do it again tonight, I'll be in his hood. After a bit of back and forth he ends up sending me this email ...
"Let's keep this between you and me. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, I just don't want any false perceptions about me any where. I'll do the same and not say anything either. Am I being weird here?"
WHAT? Brakes. Okay, that's weird. I replied that I agreed (because I do) because I didn't want CB or BG to find out about it either. Hey - I'm a dirty little secret again? Not so happy with that.
Friday, September 15, 2006
The Results Are In
Here's how today went.
CB never contacted me after yesterday, a little perterved I told BG that my client ditched me and I'd love for him to spend the evening with me.
BG met me at my friend's party, to which the birthday boy exclaimed that I had taken his place (he's in love right now) as "Big Daddy," as he's notorious for starting the evening with one date and ending with another. I said that we would see since CB hadn't even called back.
As usual, me and BG were having a good old time and we went to the event. It was nice of him to starve through it for me - it's not his cup of tea. As we went in, I spotted CB but ignored him looking for a seat in the packed house - until I felt a tap and he was behind me. Turns out he had saved some seats and BOTH BG and CB sat down on opposite sides of me.
I enjoyed the lecture, but BG didn't - or he sensed that I really liked CB and wanted to give me space. I wanted to attend the reception as did CB so BG went to the bar (are you following this?) and I went to the reception.
It was amazing tonight, the breeze was just enough to cuddle slightly in but still be outside. CB was amazed at my knowledge of art and classics and invited me to a big art showing in Chicago in November (that's right - 2 months out?) - which I said yes to (of course). We spent some time looking at the work at the reception hall and I noticed I missed 2 calls.
Turns out BG didn't like the bar and had my car - so he was about 3 blocks over. Then our mutual friend, N had called saying she was at the bar where my friend's party was and we should come out. I made no mention of CB, but convinced him to come out for one.
I walked into the bar with not 1 - but 2 - guys. Eek. I wanted BG to give me space, but he affirmed that he really wanted to be with me - double eek. N came up to me, declaring she needed to go to the bathroom - NOW and with me.
This is where she informed me she had just spoken with CB and he told her that he really likes me and wants to formally ask me out (ohh). Confused, I attended to both gentleman like a lady (and not a lady of the night).
BG left to meet friends and CB and I talked on the way home. He's adorable - damn it. Crap. BG left me a voicemail to please call when I got home or if I was going to the bar he was at.
In front of CB's place, he kissed me - and it was good. Maybe because of what N had said, or maybe because we were sitting. Either way, I didn't drive to Madison for a piece of a$$.
I called BG and made plans for Wednesday when my friend JL is in town and informed him I was home.
That's the results :)
CB never contacted me after yesterday, a little perterved I told BG that my client ditched me and I'd love for him to spend the evening with me.
BG met me at my friend's party, to which the birthday boy exclaimed that I had taken his place (he's in love right now) as "Big Daddy," as he's notorious for starting the evening with one date and ending with another. I said that we would see since CB hadn't even called back.
As usual, me and BG were having a good old time and we went to the event. It was nice of him to starve through it for me - it's not his cup of tea. As we went in, I spotted CB but ignored him looking for a seat in the packed house - until I felt a tap and he was behind me. Turns out he had saved some seats and BOTH BG and CB sat down on opposite sides of me.
I enjoyed the lecture, but BG didn't - or he sensed that I really liked CB and wanted to give me space. I wanted to attend the reception as did CB so BG went to the bar (are you following this?) and I went to the reception.
It was amazing tonight, the breeze was just enough to cuddle slightly in but still be outside. CB was amazed at my knowledge of art and classics and invited me to a big art showing in Chicago in November (that's right - 2 months out?) - which I said yes to (of course). We spent some time looking at the work at the reception hall and I noticed I missed 2 calls.
Turns out BG didn't like the bar and had my car - so he was about 3 blocks over. Then our mutual friend, N had called saying she was at the bar where my friend's party was and we should come out. I made no mention of CB, but convinced him to come out for one.
I walked into the bar with not 1 - but 2 - guys. Eek. I wanted BG to give me space, but he affirmed that he really wanted to be with me - double eek. N came up to me, declaring she needed to go to the bathroom - NOW and with me.
This is where she informed me she had just spoken with CB and he told her that he really likes me and wants to formally ask me out (ohh). Confused, I attended to both gentleman like a lady (and not a lady of the night).
BG left to meet friends and CB and I talked on the way home. He's adorable - damn it. Crap. BG left me a voicemail to please call when I got home or if I was going to the bar he was at.
In front of CB's place, he kissed me - and it was good. Maybe because of what N had said, or maybe because we were sitting. Either way, I didn't drive to Madison for a piece of a$$.
I called BG and made plans for Wednesday when my friend JL is in town and informed him I was home.
That's the results :)
A Conundrum.
There is an event tonight that I really want to go to, lacking a social contact for it and not hearing it mentioned by my peers, I asked if BG would like to attend, to which he said yes. We planned dinner, the event and a birthday party for a friend.
After not hearing from CB for almost a week, I gave up and thought this to be a steadfast plan. Thought it was.
I got an email yesterday morning from CB explaining his delay in contact - and inviting me to attend an event Friday (tonight) that he would be attending. Hmmm. It's the same event! Being incredibly shy, I knew that if I told him that I was going with BG (who he knows) he would never ask me out again. So I tried to think it through.
Even though he's not the best at this whole dating thing, I still for some reason like him so I opted to tell BG that I had to go with a client (technically not a lie - CB is a client of my company). He thought it to be no big deal and said he was going to go with a friend any how ...
So now they are both going. Hopefully CB isn't BG's friend, wouldn't that make for a funny story where I don't come out of my room for 2 weeks.
In the meantime, CB hasn't responded to my response. Hello, it's Friday. What time are we going, where are we meeting? Geez. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp kiddo! So I'm apt to just go with BG anyway and screw this whole deal.
After not hearing from CB for almost a week, I gave up and thought this to be a steadfast plan. Thought it was.
I got an email yesterday morning from CB explaining his delay in contact - and inviting me to attend an event Friday (tonight) that he would be attending. Hmmm. It's the same event! Being incredibly shy, I knew that if I told him that I was going with BG (who he knows) he would never ask me out again. So I tried to think it through.
Even though he's not the best at this whole dating thing, I still for some reason like him so I opted to tell BG that I had to go with a client (technically not a lie - CB is a client of my company). He thought it to be no big deal and said he was going to go with a friend any how ...
So now they are both going. Hopefully CB isn't BG's friend, wouldn't that make for a funny story where I don't come out of my room for 2 weeks.
In the meantime, CB hasn't responded to my response. Hello, it's Friday. What time are we going, where are we meeting? Geez. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp kiddo! So I'm apt to just go with BG anyway and screw this whole deal.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
The return of Karaoke Tuesdays - And my 215th post!
I introduced J to karaoke Tuesdays - it's been over a year since my normal stink but Kurt let us sing a ton - she's hooked! As I mentioned, it doesn't matter how you sing as long as you sing fun songs - well, hey, J has a great voice so screw that rule for her!
We had a blast. It momentarily got my mind off CB and if I screwed it up. It's one of those things when you just wished you knew. But past is past, and he has warn on my patience so it's time to fish damn it!
We had a blast. It momentarily got my mind off CB and if I screwed it up. It's one of those things when you just wished you knew. But past is past, and he has warn on my patience so it's time to fish damn it!
What the?
I almost wonder if CB might be a reader of this blog. No phone call or email since our weekend and it's been beyond the Swinger's 3 day rule. I guess it was a good thing I went to see RS, at least I wasn't hanging on the moment with him - instead I was just fantasizing about how hot the kissing was. The, me-on-my-tippy-toes, just above his mouth, struggling to unzip my top and kiss him kiss. Yup. I've got a smile on my face.
So the few people that know what happened have not been happy with my choices. D is the only one supportive, which of course, by our rules she has to be and also re-incinuates that 220 miles between us still makes her the only one that knows me best. A lot of comments have been made along the lines of "why?" and all I can say is that I'm confused.
I have not really liked anyone ever, but here I like CB even though there is no explanation to why I do or would. He is not complimentative, he is not open, he is not overt. He is him and I like that. He's nervous around me, which I take as a compliment, he and I can talk which I tolerate as openess, and I'm such of an extrovert that his introvertive nature is welcome. He is very good looking. He is nice. He's just so different then anyone else. But whatever we have here is testing my patience.
In previous relationships, it's been based off of lust. Passionate kissing, man handling, late nights of drunken debauchery. I'm a generation Y person, I want something immediately. Our first kiss was already 7 weeks ago and we've only kissed twice since. By now I've gotten laid or he's at least touched my boob on the outside of my shirt. Not that this isn't welcome, it just is something new.
And then there is RS, who I immediately get naked with the moment I see him. The relationship is lust-induced, yet we have great conversation and he's fabulous to sleep next too. Granted, had my patience not wained when I met him 3+ years ago, I could have maybe been his girlfriend still to this day. I guess maybe that's the lesson to learn in all of this.
RS appeared the same as CB at the time I meant him. Extremely good looking, shy, nervous and he doesn't drink. When we finally kissed it was two years of built up sexual tension that exploded against the wall of his door way. Maybe that's what I should be holding out for with CB.
But now it seems that my patience was amiss or is completely wained to the point where I don't consider CB to be a prospect.
As #1 pointed out last night on the phone, "If you're at a fishing hole and you've got your pole and all the right bait and the damn fish doesn't bite - shouldn't you just go to the pond right next to it?"
So now I toy with the idea of the pond next to the one I've been sitting at for the last couple of months. The pond down about three roads and to the right. The pond where BG is waiting.
There's a house party his band is playing at (I know, I know, another band guy - eek) Saturday and I think I will go. Since this fish still isn't biting, might as well see if I can get one that will (and perhaps a little nibble on the ear lobe or the neck wouldn't be so bad).
So the few people that know what happened have not been happy with my choices. D is the only one supportive, which of course, by our rules she has to be and also re-incinuates that 220 miles between us still makes her the only one that knows me best. A lot of comments have been made along the lines of "why?" and all I can say is that I'm confused.
I have not really liked anyone ever, but here I like CB even though there is no explanation to why I do or would. He is not complimentative, he is not open, he is not overt. He is him and I like that. He's nervous around me, which I take as a compliment, he and I can talk which I tolerate as openess, and I'm such of an extrovert that his introvertive nature is welcome. He is very good looking. He is nice. He's just so different then anyone else. But whatever we have here is testing my patience.
In previous relationships, it's been based off of lust. Passionate kissing, man handling, late nights of drunken debauchery. I'm a generation Y person, I want something immediately. Our first kiss was already 7 weeks ago and we've only kissed twice since. By now I've gotten laid or he's at least touched my boob on the outside of my shirt. Not that this isn't welcome, it just is something new.
And then there is RS, who I immediately get naked with the moment I see him. The relationship is lust-induced, yet we have great conversation and he's fabulous to sleep next too. Granted, had my patience not wained when I met him 3+ years ago, I could have maybe been his girlfriend still to this day. I guess maybe that's the lesson to learn in all of this.
RS appeared the same as CB at the time I meant him. Extremely good looking, shy, nervous and he doesn't drink. When we finally kissed it was two years of built up sexual tension that exploded against the wall of his door way. Maybe that's what I should be holding out for with CB.
But now it seems that my patience was amiss or is completely wained to the point where I don't consider CB to be a prospect.
As #1 pointed out last night on the phone, "If you're at a fishing hole and you've got your pole and all the right bait and the damn fish doesn't bite - shouldn't you just go to the pond right next to it?"
So now I toy with the idea of the pond next to the one I've been sitting at for the last couple of months. The pond down about three roads and to the right. The pond where BG is waiting.
There's a house party his band is playing at (I know, I know, another band guy - eek) Saturday and I think I will go. Since this fish still isn't biting, might as well see if I can get one that will (and perhaps a little nibble on the ear lobe or the neck wouldn't be so bad).
Monday, September 11, 2006
Not Posting
I've been writing, but blogger hasn't been publishing - so if this goes through, it'll be a long one!
Where was I?
I was actually in Vegas over labor day weekend, partying it up with my mom and gambling 18 hours a day. We usually don't get too capped, but this trip I actually ended up puking from drinking. I guess I might be a party girl after all.
On the boy front ...
My mom has the best husband. While we were out of town he called to say that he missed her and hoped she was having fun. It actually made me kind of mad because no one was doing the same for me. I came to the realization that I actually want a boyfriend and it was time to change my ways and start behaving like I wanted a boyfriend.
Then I came back in town. You know what's weird about Vegas? My life stopped for 5 days. No networking events, email checking, call taking, etc. I just got up, went to the casino and gambled and drank. I never checked my watch - because there was no point. Our plane landed late on Wednesday and it was back to the same routine. Got home, jumped in the shower, went to a meeting, met my boss out to talk biz. Get up the next day and repeat.
I got back to work on Thursday, and there was an email from CB asking how my Vegas trip was. I thought to myself that he actually cared enough to ask and that was a pretty good sign. RS never even asked. Neither did BG, but couldn't blame him because I have been blowing him off.
CB and I finally went on a date Friday. Can't say there was fireworks. I was pissed. E had said she was proud of me for making that decision and all you had to do was ask the universe and you'd receive. I went to J's house and told her "F*ck the Universe." He had invited me out on Saturday to a big event and I thought I'd give it one more try.
Saturday came and it was a client's birthday party - so off I went to drink with J as my date because #1, of course, bailed last minute. Then we had another party to go to. Then we went to the event. CB was there and very attentive, we actually went out with his friends and had a blast. He kissed me in public, granted he was tipsy, and it was just a peck. I saw his new place and it was 1:00. Nothing happened, but I saw potential.
But not enough potential to not drive to see RS at 1:00 in the morning. I got to his house around 2:30 and we immediately started making out and ripping off each other's clothing. It was the hottest kissing ever. He's around my height and I stood on my tippy toes which made me a bit taller and kissed him from above his head. There was just a lot of craving going on, we hadn't seen eachother in about two weeks and it was intense, passionate. The thing that lacks for CB. We had crazy sex until 5:30 in the morning. I ended up falling asleep in his arms until 10am. Oops. That's a big no-no for the rules, so I snuck out and headed home with the worst headache.
I called J on the way back who wondered why I would have such a good time with CB and then turn around and go to RS. I don't have an explanation. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm not happy with the pace, maybe because I'm afraid. Not sure, it just happened. I figure there's no commitment, so it's not bad yet and maybe I just need to get this out of my system.
Where was I?
I was actually in Vegas over labor day weekend, partying it up with my mom and gambling 18 hours a day. We usually don't get too capped, but this trip I actually ended up puking from drinking. I guess I might be a party girl after all.
On the boy front ...
My mom has the best husband. While we were out of town he called to say that he missed her and hoped she was having fun. It actually made me kind of mad because no one was doing the same for me. I came to the realization that I actually want a boyfriend and it was time to change my ways and start behaving like I wanted a boyfriend.
Then I came back in town. You know what's weird about Vegas? My life stopped for 5 days. No networking events, email checking, call taking, etc. I just got up, went to the casino and gambled and drank. I never checked my watch - because there was no point. Our plane landed late on Wednesday and it was back to the same routine. Got home, jumped in the shower, went to a meeting, met my boss out to talk biz. Get up the next day and repeat.
I got back to work on Thursday, and there was an email from CB asking how my Vegas trip was. I thought to myself that he actually cared enough to ask and that was a pretty good sign. RS never even asked. Neither did BG, but couldn't blame him because I have been blowing him off.
CB and I finally went on a date Friday. Can't say there was fireworks. I was pissed. E had said she was proud of me for making that decision and all you had to do was ask the universe and you'd receive. I went to J's house and told her "F*ck the Universe." He had invited me out on Saturday to a big event and I thought I'd give it one more try.
Saturday came and it was a client's birthday party - so off I went to drink with J as my date because #1, of course, bailed last minute. Then we had another party to go to. Then we went to the event. CB was there and very attentive, we actually went out with his friends and had a blast. He kissed me in public, granted he was tipsy, and it was just a peck. I saw his new place and it was 1:00. Nothing happened, but I saw potential.
But not enough potential to not drive to see RS at 1:00 in the morning. I got to his house around 2:30 and we immediately started making out and ripping off each other's clothing. It was the hottest kissing ever. He's around my height and I stood on my tippy toes which made me a bit taller and kissed him from above his head. There was just a lot of craving going on, we hadn't seen eachother in about two weeks and it was intense, passionate. The thing that lacks for CB. We had crazy sex until 5:30 in the morning. I ended up falling asleep in his arms until 10am. Oops. That's a big no-no for the rules, so I snuck out and headed home with the worst headache.
I called J on the way back who wondered why I would have such a good time with CB and then turn around and go to RS. I don't have an explanation. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm not happy with the pace, maybe because I'm afraid. Not sure, it just happened. I figure there's no commitment, so it's not bad yet and maybe I just need to get this out of my system.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
What a tangled web we weave
If I lay here
If I just lie here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?
- Snow Patrol, "Chasing Cars"
Sometimes that's exactly just what I want. Being single for 2 some years makes you forget about those little things - the exact thing I detested doing with RS last week. But that's the thing, that little moment that I forgot about being intimate with someone may have been the downfall to the FB relationship that seemed so good not three weeks ago.
RS seems to have remembered his same act from nine months ago. He's blown off our "appointment" on Sunday and tonight. I'm just waiting for our Thursday lunch for him to bust out the, "I have feelings for you - that means we can't do that." It's the same repetitive act I've seen before.
When is sex just sex?
In other notes, CB showed up at my networking event. I wanted to kiss him so bad, I forgot how much I'm crushing like I'm in 5th grade on him. It's hard to balance his intentions - did he come to see me? Did he come to see N, who left shortly before he showed up? Things could be less complicated if he was straight with intentions. No BG, no RS. It's weird even typing that. In almost 5 years I've never thought to myself that I'd rid the regulars in my life for something so risky.
I guess I do go to Vegas in less than 4 days, so maybe now is the time to settle the cards and take the risk.
Or text message RS about what a beautiful cock.
Because I'm not so good with the patience or the likelihood that someone likes me, I'm trying hard not to opt for 2.
If I just lie here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?
- Snow Patrol, "Chasing Cars"
Sometimes that's exactly just what I want. Being single for 2 some years makes you forget about those little things - the exact thing I detested doing with RS last week. But that's the thing, that little moment that I forgot about being intimate with someone may have been the downfall to the FB relationship that seemed so good not three weeks ago.
RS seems to have remembered his same act from nine months ago. He's blown off our "appointment" on Sunday and tonight. I'm just waiting for our Thursday lunch for him to bust out the, "I have feelings for you - that means we can't do that." It's the same repetitive act I've seen before.
When is sex just sex?
In other notes, CB showed up at my networking event. I wanted to kiss him so bad, I forgot how much I'm crushing like I'm in 5th grade on him. It's hard to balance his intentions - did he come to see me? Did he come to see N, who left shortly before he showed up? Things could be less complicated if he was straight with intentions. No BG, no RS. It's weird even typing that. In almost 5 years I've never thought to myself that I'd rid the regulars in my life for something so risky.
I guess I do go to Vegas in less than 4 days, so maybe now is the time to settle the cards and take the risk.
Or text message RS about what a beautiful cock.
Because I'm not so good with the patience or the likelihood that someone likes me, I'm trying hard not to opt for 2.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Let me reiterate
Please tell me if this makes any sense to you since all of my friends (who are not aware of this blog, by the way) seem to be a bit confused.
My last trip to RS at 11 something at night for a 45 minute booty call was incredibly pleasuring; however, we did talk a bit - something I hated doing because I'd like to think of him as a toy for my enjoyment and not a person I have had feelings for. When I explained to some of my close buddies that he walked out to my car with me and it flipped me out since it gave me the impression he might have feelings, they asked, "Why not go for it?"
My response, "Been there, done that, only time I can legitimately say I had a broken heart." Not because I was in love (because I have yet to step over that boundary line) but because it was a realization that I wasn't good enough on a sort of Manslow Hierarchy of Needs type way.
Besides, there is no way any of those group members would pull a "Yoko" as we use to joke about when I was with the guitarist. No one would put a chick before the band, because the band comes first. I also do not want to even go into that pattern of thinking because I do not want to have an inkling of hope that there could be something.
Plus he's Catholic (yup - BZ, hit that on the head) - or used to be Catholic and I'm just counting down the minutes until the concious comes back and he zips up his pants for another 3-4 months.
This makes sense to me having dated 4 musicians and having had a two year realtionship with his guitarist. I understand where he's coming from and have no want to hold him to anything. Plus I like CB. And I'm kind of seeing BG. Instead I'm hearing that I'm a selfish b*tch that doesn't want to be happy.
My last trip to RS at 11 something at night for a 45 minute booty call was incredibly pleasuring; however, we did talk a bit - something I hated doing because I'd like to think of him as a toy for my enjoyment and not a person I have had feelings for. When I explained to some of my close buddies that he walked out to my car with me and it flipped me out since it gave me the impression he might have feelings, they asked, "Why not go for it?"
My response, "Been there, done that, only time I can legitimately say I had a broken heart." Not because I was in love (because I have yet to step over that boundary line) but because it was a realization that I wasn't good enough on a sort of Manslow Hierarchy of Needs type way.
Besides, there is no way any of those group members would pull a "Yoko" as we use to joke about when I was with the guitarist. No one would put a chick before the band, because the band comes first. I also do not want to even go into that pattern of thinking because I do not want to have an inkling of hope that there could be something.
Plus he's Catholic (yup - BZ, hit that on the head) - or used to be Catholic and I'm just counting down the minutes until the concious comes back and he zips up his pants for another 3-4 months.
This makes sense to me having dated 4 musicians and having had a two year realtionship with his guitarist. I understand where he's coming from and have no want to hold him to anything. Plus I like CB. And I'm kind of seeing BG. Instead I'm hearing that I'm a selfish b*tch that doesn't want to be happy.
My Classic Observation
I have a degree in Classics, so sue me when I make this remark.
Today Pluto was deamed "Dead" and not considered a planet. How coincidental that Pluto is infact the Roman name for the god Hades, who was, in fact, the god of the dead.
It put a smile on my face today, that's all I can say.
Today Pluto was deamed "Dead" and not considered a planet. How coincidental that Pluto is infact the Roman name for the god Hades, who was, in fact, the god of the dead.
It put a smile on my face today, that's all I can say.
Myspace
Myspace is a great tool - but I think it might be too effective in background information. Here's my rant. Oh! It's Thursday 13, that's what my 13 will be about.
13 Things about MySpace
(1) Great networking tool for organizations
(2) Found out how ugly the ex's kid is
(3) It can destroy (or dampen friendships) - J's friend is the ex-girlfriend of HG. When she saw him as a myspace friend - she disowned J who didn't even really put the 2 & 2 together until after the whole diabocle
(4) You can find old college & HS buddies
(5) Weird people can hit on you
(6) You can verify that your other ex did in fact cheat on you - though he swore he never did
(7) You can see just how many FB's your FB might have (looks like I'm the only one!)
(8) You can find out how many people a certain person may be entertaining the idea of doing (CB looks like he has about 3 right now)
(9) You can post your calendar to clarify that you actually are a busy girl
(10) You can see who knows you and who you want to meet
(11) If you're 14, you can say you're 21
(12) You can put on cool new songs and play them in the background to pretend you had the 99 cents to buy them off iTunes
(13) You can say you survived the MySpace blackout of 2006!
13 Things about MySpace
(1) Great networking tool for organizations
(2) Found out how ugly the ex's kid is
(3) It can destroy (or dampen friendships) - J's friend is the ex-girlfriend of HG. When she saw him as a myspace friend - she disowned J who didn't even really put the 2 & 2 together until after the whole diabocle
(4) You can find old college & HS buddies
(5) Weird people can hit on you
(6) You can verify that your other ex did in fact cheat on you - though he swore he never did
(7) You can see just how many FB's your FB might have (looks like I'm the only one!)
(8) You can find out how many people a certain person may be entertaining the idea of doing (CB looks like he has about 3 right now)
(9) You can post your calendar to clarify that you actually are a busy girl
(10) You can see who knows you and who you want to meet
(11) If you're 14, you can say you're 21
(12) You can put on cool new songs and play them in the background to pretend you had the 99 cents to buy them off iTunes
(13) You can say you survived the MySpace blackout of 2006!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
Rash Decisions are Mistakes
The whole time D & O were in town, one thing D kept saying is that she wasn't going to make any more rash decisions. She got pregnant and got married and now she's dealing with a whole mess of problems because everything went so quickly. She doesn't regret what happened (I mean O could win awards for the cutest baby ever), but if she thought things through she might not have done it.
My rash decision yesterday turned into being a misunderstanding in the end. It turns out the emails were all part of a way of letting me into their little friendship, not a supposed remark to kick me out of it. Because of my quick reaction and even quicker driving skills, I slept with RS.
I made that decision on a whim and today CB kind of asked me out, it was along these lines "we have to get together sometime again. maybe catch a movie or grab a bite to eat." Actually, that was the exact line. I stared at the screen dumb founded. I replied with "CB - are you asking me out on a date?"
Now I'm stuck in a catch 22. I really like CB and part of the provisions with RS is that it stops when someone we like becomes an entity, I guess he's not an entity until it actually happens and as J mentioned, I can continue until there's an exclusivity pact in the picture which is still months away.
I've never straight on taken an FB before when there was potential other people in the picture, and I'm not sure that I'm going to give it up quite yet. There's just glass on the floor that I have to be careful not to step on so no one gets hurt.
And this concludes the days of our lives ...
My rash decision yesterday turned into being a misunderstanding in the end. It turns out the emails were all part of a way of letting me into their little friendship, not a supposed remark to kick me out of it. Because of my quick reaction and even quicker driving skills, I slept with RS.
I made that decision on a whim and today CB kind of asked me out, it was along these lines "we have to get together sometime again. maybe catch a movie or grab a bite to eat." Actually, that was the exact line. I stared at the screen dumb founded. I replied with "CB - are you asking me out on a date?"
Now I'm stuck in a catch 22. I really like CB and part of the provisions with RS is that it stops when someone we like becomes an entity, I guess he's not an entity until it actually happens and as J mentioned, I can continue until there's an exclusivity pact in the picture which is still months away.
I've never straight on taken an FB before when there was potential other people in the picture, and I'm not sure that I'm going to give it up quite yet. There's just glass on the floor that I have to be careful not to step on so no one gets hurt.
And this concludes the days of our lives ...
The bitterness of control
I'm going to admit that I have a complete control issue, so when a supposed "friend" decided she would email CB and cc'd me on it saying she knew we were sleeping together (WTF? We aren't!) I got a little pissed. If anyone was going to ruin my chances with CB, it better as hell be me and not this little chickee poo. I stewed, I was incredibly angry and hurt. So I took matters into my own hands.
I im'd RS that I was in Madison and wondered if he was serious about our deal earlier. He said "sure." We arranged a meeting at 3:00, I drove to his house and saw his car was actually in his drive way.
I rang the doorbell, he answered. I asked how he was, he said "fine." So I kissed him, pinned him against the wall, took off his shirt, unbuckled his belt, took him by the loop and told him that I wanted to show him the place. We started kissing again, he fumbled with my shirt so I took it off for him, unhooked my bra, threw it on the ground. I asked him to get a condom, and we started kissing. Then we started doing more than kissing.
I'll spare you the intimate details, but about a couple pumps later he looked at me weird. Being the last experience wasn't that great, I was questioning if it was me. He told me it wasn't, that it had never happened before, that he had already came.
It was not a big deal, I was on a time line so I could get back to work so no one was the differ; I assured him I took it as a compliment that I was just that good. We got dressed I told him we should do it again next time I'm in Madison, he agreed. I left.
I was so happy that I had control over the whole issue, I was the one that called him, pinned him, screwed him, I was the one that left. I'm the one that doesn't have the lingering feelings and now I'm the one that is over any kind of feelings for CB. It's shady, it's self destructive, it's head nodding "no's" all over the place. But it's what I needed to do.
So here's a look into all the things that made this event take place -
(A) I haven't gotten laid in over 2 years. I haven't been feeling pretty or sexual or anything lately. I needed to feel that way for a bit.
(B) I wanted the chance to screw it up with CB and I might as well do the one thing that I knew would since the chance was ruined.
(C) I needed to have the encounter to show RS & myself that I was over him.
(D) I needed to feel like I had control over something.
Job accomplished.
I im'd RS that I was in Madison and wondered if he was serious about our deal earlier. He said "sure." We arranged a meeting at 3:00, I drove to his house and saw his car was actually in his drive way.
I rang the doorbell, he answered. I asked how he was, he said "fine." So I kissed him, pinned him against the wall, took off his shirt, unbuckled his belt, took him by the loop and told him that I wanted to show him the place. We started kissing again, he fumbled with my shirt so I took it off for him, unhooked my bra, threw it on the ground. I asked him to get a condom, and we started kissing. Then we started doing more than kissing.
I'll spare you the intimate details, but about a couple pumps later he looked at me weird. Being the last experience wasn't that great, I was questioning if it was me. He told me it wasn't, that it had never happened before, that he had already came.
It was not a big deal, I was on a time line so I could get back to work so no one was the differ; I assured him I took it as a compliment that I was just that good. We got dressed I told him we should do it again next time I'm in Madison, he agreed. I left.
I was so happy that I had control over the whole issue, I was the one that called him, pinned him, screwed him, I was the one that left. I'm the one that doesn't have the lingering feelings and now I'm the one that is over any kind of feelings for CB. It's shady, it's self destructive, it's head nodding "no's" all over the place. But it's what I needed to do.
So here's a look into all the things that made this event take place -
(A) I haven't gotten laid in over 2 years. I haven't been feeling pretty or sexual or anything lately. I needed to feel that way for a bit.
(B) I wanted the chance to screw it up with CB and I might as well do the one thing that I knew would since the chance was ruined.
(C) I needed to have the encounter to show RS & myself that I was over him.
(D) I needed to feel like I had control over something.
Job accomplished.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Post Party ...
Party Hosting 101 - the host needs to eat or ends up a drunken diabocle like me & my friend J who hosted the party at her house. We had 17 guests (not too bad for only 3 day invite-out), 2 of which were in their boxers, 6 of which got to make out with people and I got 52 mosquito bites on my feet - tragedy!
Long after the pitcher of my cosmos were gone along with 54 beer cans, a bottle of Captain, one of vanilla smirnoff and a bottle of bacardi all hit the bucket the guest started leaving around 12:30am. I walked CB out and talked with him for a close hour and a half, he brought it to my attention that everyone was gone and he had to head back to Chicago (he drove all that way - just to come to our picnic, I know, I know "awww!") I tried to urge him to stay, but he said he needed to leave, so I let him and he kissed me. It was a bit better this time around, which shows he can improve (especially when not caught off guard) - but it did take over an hour to get him to do that and some 50 mosquitos on my toes - I look like I got some contagious disease, ick. We haven't talked since and I know he's not going to ask me out, so I 1/2 want to throw a party again this week, but lack the funds (this one cost me $125), so we'll wait and see.
In the meantime, RS text messaged me while I was at State Fair on Sunday and we enjoyed a bit of sexual banter back and forth. It kind of went along the lines of
RS: "Miller Park, 5, go"
MG: "Can't, at State Fair. Maybe lunch on Thursday? I'll be in Madison"
RS: "That's do-able."
MG: "Call me."
RS: "Will do."
MG:"I'll wear a skirt, you wear something sexy"
RS:"How about velvet?"
MG:"How about commando?"
RS:"Commando and a skirt is asking for trouble"
MG:"I misunderstood, aren't our get togethers all about trouble?"
RS:"Trouble will be the appetizer ..."
I know what you are thinking - I'm insane. Why even play with fire when it's kind of obvious CB might like me. I'm almost 100% that RS is just banter and no way will he actually meet me for lunch and no way will we actually get it on ... right? I mean, right. Plus I don't think I could bring myself to do it anyway.
On to another topic - dumb ass friends. #1 stood us up for the cook out and then didn't even call to say he was sorry. He's losing J's interest pretty fast and part of me hopes she loses it all the way because he's acting like an ass! I apparently don't get a medal for my hook ups. Sigh. I can't even get an honorable mention from mine.
I need to revert back to the old gym regement, I've been too busy and too tired. I'm thinking about giving up alcohol until the next get together - I'm pretty sure I could do it! That's a bunch of calories that don't need to be consumed.
Though, the drinking can't stop today because D & O are coming in from out of town to spend today, tomorrow & Wednesday with me. I think D needs a good cry. For being the strongest woman I've ever known, I see how much love hurts and breaks that down. I'm supposed to love her husband when she does and hate him when she does and never look back and be a support unit, but it's devestating to see someone so vibrant and beautiful being sucked in by a two-faced liar. I used to like him a lot, but my patience wears thin. I've been in almost the same position before, thinking you are in love and not wanting the work you've put into the relationship to fail but somethings are for the better. They have the most beautiful little girl and the freaking bastard ignores her, laying his lazy ass on the couch while his wife busts her ass to support him. That's my little rant. I'll support her no matter what she does because I love her that much, I just want to see the old D that was actually occassionally happy.
I'm hoping the next three days shows her what happiness was and how much it's lacking. I'm assuming tonight will be tears and wine ...
Long after the pitcher of my cosmos were gone along with 54 beer cans, a bottle of Captain, one of vanilla smirnoff and a bottle of bacardi all hit the bucket the guest started leaving around 12:30am. I walked CB out and talked with him for a close hour and a half, he brought it to my attention that everyone was gone and he had to head back to Chicago (he drove all that way - just to come to our picnic, I know, I know "awww!") I tried to urge him to stay, but he said he needed to leave, so I let him and he kissed me. It was a bit better this time around, which shows he can improve (especially when not caught off guard) - but it did take over an hour to get him to do that and some 50 mosquitos on my toes - I look like I got some contagious disease, ick. We haven't talked since and I know he's not going to ask me out, so I 1/2 want to throw a party again this week, but lack the funds (this one cost me $125), so we'll wait and see.
In the meantime, RS text messaged me while I was at State Fair on Sunday and we enjoyed a bit of sexual banter back and forth. It kind of went along the lines of
RS: "Miller Park, 5, go"
MG: "Can't, at State Fair. Maybe lunch on Thursday? I'll be in Madison"
RS: "That's do-able."
MG: "Call me."
RS: "Will do."
MG:"I'll wear a skirt, you wear something sexy"
RS:"How about velvet?"
MG:"How about commando?"
RS:"Commando and a skirt is asking for trouble"
MG:"I misunderstood, aren't our get togethers all about trouble?"
RS:"Trouble will be the appetizer ..."
I know what you are thinking - I'm insane. Why even play with fire when it's kind of obvious CB might like me. I'm almost 100% that RS is just banter and no way will he actually meet me for lunch and no way will we actually get it on ... right? I mean, right. Plus I don't think I could bring myself to do it anyway.
On to another topic - dumb ass friends. #1 stood us up for the cook out and then didn't even call to say he was sorry. He's losing J's interest pretty fast and part of me hopes she loses it all the way because he's acting like an ass! I apparently don't get a medal for my hook ups. Sigh. I can't even get an honorable mention from mine.
I need to revert back to the old gym regement, I've been too busy and too tired. I'm thinking about giving up alcohol until the next get together - I'm pretty sure I could do it! That's a bunch of calories that don't need to be consumed.
Though, the drinking can't stop today because D & O are coming in from out of town to spend today, tomorrow & Wednesday with me. I think D needs a good cry. For being the strongest woman I've ever known, I see how much love hurts and breaks that down. I'm supposed to love her husband when she does and hate him when she does and never look back and be a support unit, but it's devestating to see someone so vibrant and beautiful being sucked in by a two-faced liar. I used to like him a lot, but my patience wears thin. I've been in almost the same position before, thinking you are in love and not wanting the work you've put into the relationship to fail but somethings are for the better. They have the most beautiful little girl and the freaking bastard ignores her, laying his lazy ass on the couch while his wife busts her ass to support him. That's my little rant. I'll support her no matter what she does because I love her that much, I just want to see the old D that was actually occassionally happy.
I'm hoping the next three days shows her what happiness was and how much it's lacking. I'm assuming tonight will be tears and wine ...
Thursday, August 03, 2006
How to get out of your weekend plans 101
Plan a party! I was technically supposed to go by my cousins and my friend from around the corner was supposed to go to Chicago, but neither of us wanted to so instead we're having a cook out! :)
I invited CB, she invited #1 - I don't think either is going though ...
I invited CB, she invited #1 - I don't think either is going though ...
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
I forgot! Chicken wing rant.
I forgot that I have a quick rant about some chicken wings I got yesterday.
A co-worker was headed over to BW3's for lunch with some friends, she asked if anyone wanted anything and I told her I was starving for wings and handed her $6, telling her bring back as many wings as you can with that along with some blue cheese.
An hour and a half later she returns with a little box, no celery, no sauce and 6 chicken wings. 6 wings cost $6 and they didn't even box them appropriately?
At the bar, I asked a friend about BW3's - he said "It's awesome, today they had 25 cent wings. I went to the downtown one over lunch. Every Tuesday is 25 cent wings." I was a bit pissed and asked if they come with any kind of sauce like blue cheese, "Yup. And celery!"
I recounted my experience and he informed that my money probably paid for everyone and I got the left overs! The worst part is I've bought lunch for this chick so many times and she's never paid me back, the least she could have done is given me the right amount for my money.
A co-worker was headed over to BW3's for lunch with some friends, she asked if anyone wanted anything and I told her I was starving for wings and handed her $6, telling her bring back as many wings as you can with that along with some blue cheese.
An hour and a half later she returns with a little box, no celery, no sauce and 6 chicken wings. 6 wings cost $6 and they didn't even box them appropriately?
At the bar, I asked a friend about BW3's - he said "It's awesome, today they had 25 cent wings. I went to the downtown one over lunch. Every Tuesday is 25 cent wings." I was a bit pissed and asked if they come with any kind of sauce like blue cheese, "Yup. And celery!"
I recounted my experience and he informed that my money probably paid for everyone and I got the left overs! The worst part is I've bought lunch for this chick so many times and she's never paid me back, the least she could have done is given me the right amount for my money.
I don't even remember
Posting last night. LOL. Ah well!
So yesterday was a long day, I had brief flashbacks of turning 22 and consuming too much 1800. Ouch, my head is hurting again.
Needless to say, Damien Miller saved the day (sigh - ahh Damien), he's one of my favorite players, and I celebrated. I went to bed, never heard the alarm but still woke up around 6:30am. So I skipped the gym, took a long shower and got ready for work. Tonight is our softball game, yipee. Usually we go out, but I've spent way too much money these past two weeks on nothing good for me and I may be negative in the old accounts, so I think we'll just play ball and leave. Here's a new concept, maybe I'll just go home.
So yesterday was a long day, I had brief flashbacks of turning 22 and consuming too much 1800. Ouch, my head is hurting again.
Needless to say, Damien Miller saved the day (sigh - ahh Damien), he's one of my favorite players, and I celebrated. I went to bed, never heard the alarm but still woke up around 6:30am. So I skipped the gym, took a long shower and got ready for work. Tonight is our softball game, yipee. Usually we go out, but I've spent way too much money these past two weeks on nothing good for me and I may be negative in the old accounts, so I think we'll just play ball and leave. Here's a new concept, maybe I'll just go home.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
I may throw up ...
So, I wanted to see the end of the Brewer's Game, which of course went until about 20 minutes ago.
I recounted the continous loop of CB, I saw him at class, no response. Don't know what to think. I recounted my day (too hard to describe, I'm exhausted) and about getting up in less than 5 hours to go to the gym.
This is my drunken post. Lord help me, as I got home safe and will recount in another post in about 7 hrs when the room stops spinning.
I recounted the continous loop of CB, I saw him at class, no response. Don't know what to think. I recounted my day (too hard to describe, I'm exhausted) and about getting up in less than 5 hours to go to the gym.
This is my drunken post. Lord help me, as I got home safe and will recount in another post in about 7 hrs when the room stops spinning.
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