Not Posting

I've been writing, but blogger hasn't been publishing - so if this goes through, it'll be a long one!

Where was I?

I was actually in Vegas over labor day weekend, partying it up with my mom and gambling 18 hours a day. We usually don't get too capped, but this trip I actually ended up puking from drinking. I guess I might be a party girl after all.

On the boy front ...

My mom has the best husband. While we were out of town he called to say that he missed her and hoped she was having fun. It actually made me kind of mad because no one was doing the same for me. I came to the realization that I actually want a boyfriend and it was time to change my ways and start behaving like I wanted a boyfriend.

Then I came back in town. You know what's weird about Vegas? My life stopped for 5 days. No networking events, email checking, call taking, etc. I just got up, went to the casino and gambled and drank. I never checked my watch - because there was no point. Our plane landed late on Wednesday and it was back to the same routine. Got home, jumped in the shower, went to a meeting, met my boss out to talk biz. Get up the next day and repeat.

I got back to work on Thursday, and there was an email from CB asking how my Vegas trip was. I thought to myself that he actually cared enough to ask and that was a pretty good sign. RS never even asked. Neither did BG, but couldn't blame him because I have been blowing him off.

CB and I finally went on a date Friday. Can't say there was fireworks. I was pissed. E had said she was proud of me for making that decision and all you had to do was ask the universe and you'd receive. I went to J's house and told her "F*ck the Universe." He had invited me out on Saturday to a big event and I thought I'd give it one more try.

Saturday came and it was a client's birthday party - so off I went to drink with J as my date because #1, of course, bailed last minute. Then we had another party to go to. Then we went to the event. CB was there and very attentive, we actually went out with his friends and had a blast. He kissed me in public, granted he was tipsy, and it was just a peck. I saw his new place and it was 1:00. Nothing happened, but I saw potential.

But not enough potential to not drive to see RS at 1:00 in the morning. I got to his house around 2:30 and we immediately started making out and ripping off each other's clothing. It was the hottest kissing ever. He's around my height and I stood on my tippy toes which made me a bit taller and kissed him from above his head. There was just a lot of craving going on, we hadn't seen eachother in about two weeks and it was intense, passionate. The thing that lacks for CB. We had crazy sex until 5:30 in the morning. I ended up falling asleep in his arms until 10am. Oops. That's a big no-no for the rules, so I snuck out and headed home with the worst headache.

I called J on the way back who wondered why I would have such a good time with CB and then turn around and go to RS. I don't have an explanation. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm not happy with the pace, maybe because I'm afraid. Not sure, it just happened. I figure there's no commitment, so it's not bad yet and maybe I just need to get this out of my system.