What a tangled web we weave

If I lay here
If I just lie here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?
- Snow Patrol, "Chasing Cars"

Sometimes that's exactly just what I want. Being single for 2 some years makes you forget about those little things - the exact thing I detested doing with RS last week. But that's the thing, that little moment that I forgot about being intimate with someone may have been the downfall to the FB relationship that seemed so good not three weeks ago.

RS seems to have remembered his same act from nine months ago. He's blown off our "appointment" on Sunday and tonight. I'm just waiting for our Thursday lunch for him to bust out the, "I have feelings for you - that means we can't do that." It's the same repetitive act I've seen before.

When is sex just sex?

In other notes, CB showed up at my networking event. I wanted to kiss him so bad, I forgot how much I'm crushing like I'm in 5th grade on him. It's hard to balance his intentions - did he come to see me? Did he come to see N, who left shortly before he showed up? Things could be less complicated if he was straight with intentions. No BG, no RS. It's weird even typing that. In almost 5 years I've never thought to myself that I'd rid the regulars in my life for something so risky.

I guess I do go to Vegas in less than 4 days, so maybe now is the time to settle the cards and take the risk.

Or text message RS about what a beautiful cock.

Because I'm not so good with the patience or the likelihood that someone likes me, I'm trying hard not to opt for 2.