Please tell me if this makes any sense to you since all of my friends (who are not aware of this blog, by the way) seem to be a bit confused.
My last trip to RS at 11 something at night for a 45 minute booty call was incredibly pleasuring; however, we did talk a bit - something I hated doing because I'd like to think of him as a toy for my enjoyment and not a person I have had feelings for. When I explained to some of my close buddies that he walked out to my car with me and it flipped me out since it gave me the impression he might have feelings, they asked, "Why not go for it?"
My response, "Been there, done that, only time I can legitimately say I had a broken heart." Not because I was in love (because I have yet to step over that boundary line) but because it was a realization that I wasn't good enough on a sort of Manslow Hierarchy of Needs type way.
Besides, there is no way any of those group members would pull a "Yoko" as we use to joke about when I was with the guitarist. No one would put a chick before the band, because the band comes first. I also do not want to even go into that pattern of thinking because I do not want to have an inkling of hope that there could be something.
Plus he's Catholic (yup - BZ, hit that on the head) - or used to be Catholic and I'm just counting down the minutes until the concious comes back and he zips up his pants for another 3-4 months.
This makes sense to me having dated 4 musicians and having had a two year realtionship with his guitarist. I understand where he's coming from and have no want to hold him to anything. Plus I like CB. And I'm kind of seeing BG. Instead I'm hearing that I'm a selfish b*tch that doesn't want to be happy.
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2 comments:
Dang gurl, you're bringing sexy back. Must have felt great to slap cakes after so long. Good details but always could get more graphic for the Penthouse Forum lovers.
I understand where you're coming from. I say enjoy the time that you have. Don't flip over others' feelings for you (they're out of your control). Just handle your own feelings and follow your own heart. Trust me when I say: if someone has made it his business to make you feel inadequate -- he will do it again, no matter how hard he tries to convince you otherwise. A man wants what he wants. Sometimes, it's not us. And sometimes, he lets us know it in not such a great way. F*ck 'em.
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