I should fill in the blanks.

That's what you get for a busy week. Sorry kids.

Okay, so the Heroes post was about 2 weeks ago. After soul searching (and lack of sleep on Monday), I realized that some of the things he said added up. He was wickedly upset and said that first of all, he really cared about me (which I believe), second of all - if he did want to cheat, he doesn't have time (which is true) - he's either with me, at work or with his kid. Third, he admitted to the beginning cheating. Fourth, both NG & his girl said the exact same story (little fishy to me). Fifth, he said that he knew I had been cheated on and he wasn't going to hurt me like that. All and all it really came down to what E told me that night when I was upset and then reiterated the next morning - I have to learn to trust him. Not only that, but many of my friends have commented on the puke-yness of our little looks to each other, and many of them sided with him and told me there was no way that he could be doing it. Which says a lot, because a good chunk have been through this before with me and don't want to see me get hurt.

All and all I realized that if I'm going to be in this for the long haul, I've got to stop thinking that he's everyone else. He's not at all like the normal douche bags, he's completely out of the box.

And he told me he'd prove it to me.

I told him he had 3 trust cards the night I met him and if he wanted to be with me, he had to know that he was down to one. He told me it wasn't fair to cash in one for NG's girl - he didn't break my trust, but if that was the only way to be with me, he'd take it.

And things have been wonderful since. It's like he upped the ante to prove to me that he cares. I'm almost glad this happened. He calls every day now, he holds me at night, he's there when I need him.

E said, "Fine, throw away this guy and be single again. It's your choice."

I'm choosing to not.

It used to matter a lot what people think, and now I've realized that the only winning card hand here is what I think. And I do think he's amazing.