Heroes last monday.

I didn't sleep a wink at all. I cried all night. I called my boss at 3am. She told me to not hurry in - that I needed to sleep. But I needed to get my brother to school in the morning. So I packed him up at 7am, took him over and went to unload E's truck so I could return it.

I called work at 8am. I said I'd be in a bit, but was urged to take some sleeping pills - I couldn't be effective at this point. I cried for another hour and finally took two pills at 9:30. At 11:00 my phone rang, disturbing me from my drug induced sleep. My eyes hurt almost as much as my stomach and my skin was dry from all the salty tears. I didn't even look at the Caller ID. It was him.

"Hey, I got off for an extra long lunch to help you unpack the truck."

"It's already done." I said.

"Did you sleep?"

"I had just fallen asleep and you called."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure at this point."

"This is ridiculous. I can't believe this."

"I just need to think."

"Will you come over for Heroes tonight?"

"I honestly don't know."

Silence. "Please try to go back to sleep."

"I have to go to work now."

The day was just a blaze. There's no emotions at work, so when asked I just looked and said, "I'm smiling right now." I just went about the day as normal.

My boss pulled me aside, "I saw how he was with you - he's not cheating on you. You have to learn to trust or you just need to move on."

He admitted to sleeping with other people when we were first together and the truth is, I don't think he has time. So I decided I would trust him at this point.

He called at 7:00 to see if I was coming over for Heroes. I explained that I needed to make dinner for my brother, but he was welcome to drive out to Franklin to see me. He agreed. We had a lovely dinner, he brought dessert. We snuggled on the couch. And he brought flowers.

At the end of the night I kissed him and it felt like home. So while I'm leary, I'm trying to learn to trust him.