Hey it's Tuesday. Funny, time flies when you're ... umm, "seeking new career opportunities" as the legal documents say.
This morning I get to head over to the new place and fill out my HR paperwork, that and verify that I passed the background and credit checks. Funny how that makes me nervous. With all the crap I went through 2 years ago with the old fiance I never know how that will pan out. Obviously the credit is not spectacular. At least I know my background checks out. I did assure them of the biggest shocker on the documents, which she said was no issue.
Of course, you know something is going to happen when you don't have money coming in - that's right ANOTHER flat tire.
I must have hit a pothole and cut the side of the tire, because it wasn't a nail like I thought. That, or my dealer just likes me coming in every two weeks and ponying up $200 for a freaking tire. Yesterday, the dude on the phone said it would be $218 with tax, I had to correct him - obviously I just coughed up the damn money for the other tires two weeks ago and the total is actually $186.89.
To top it off, my spare was also flat. Not cool. The BF has been my chauffer. So we played golf yesterday after the car got towed to the dealer. Now I just wait for my independence to come back at the hands of Boucher.
Otherwise life has been quite boring, not much to report. Things are still going well with the BF - except this no-job thing killed my sex drive quite a bit. I should be pumping like bunnies, but instead it's been 3 days - going on 4.
Ah well.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Getting back to me.
It's amazing how being unhappy in such an effect on everything in your life. It's been fantastic to be away from my old job. Me and the BF have never been better, I've lost weight, I've gotten more sleep. It's also nice to see how many people care.
I feel like I'm back to me - I'm funny again, I'm relaxed, it's so nice to be happy.
I am incredibly looking forward to the new job, the hours are a bit crazy - but that's okay. The pay - oh my - so much better in the long run. There will be no required networking, which means anything I choose to be a part of won't be a show. Work stays at the door, and will stay at the door.
I got a brand new spanking Blackberry, which is the answer to my prayers (why didn't we have these at the old job? They're kick a**) - I'm getting re-organized.
The BF & I have had a really great two weeks and he's mentioned that things have changed with us - it's back to what it was before I started hating my job. It's amazing to have him here. I can't believe that I almost threw it away.
We're looking at houses and I feel like this is the best decision, not in the convincing way that I used to have to do, but in the down-in-the-gut good feeling. We looked at this cute brick house that I want so bad! But, I promised we'd look at one more at least.
I'm back to me!
I get my hair done today and I'm going the gym!
I feel like I'm back to me - I'm funny again, I'm relaxed, it's so nice to be happy.
I am incredibly looking forward to the new job, the hours are a bit crazy - but that's okay. The pay - oh my - so much better in the long run. There will be no required networking, which means anything I choose to be a part of won't be a show. Work stays at the door, and will stay at the door.
I got a brand new spanking Blackberry, which is the answer to my prayers (why didn't we have these at the old job? They're kick a**) - I'm getting re-organized.
The BF & I have had a really great two weeks and he's mentioned that things have changed with us - it's back to what it was before I started hating my job. It's amazing to have him here. I can't believe that I almost threw it away.
We're looking at houses and I feel like this is the best decision, not in the convincing way that I used to have to do, but in the down-in-the-gut good feeling. We looked at this cute brick house that I want so bad! But, I promised we'd look at one more at least.
I'm back to me!
I get my hair done today and I'm going the gym!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I didn't want to say anything yesterday ...
It wasn't in writing yesterday. It was today. I got a job :) LOL!
Monday, April 14, 2008
That "A-Thump-A-Thump" is my Heart
Ugh. This is what I dread - work. Normally something little like this wouldn't phase me, but the recent month has had me at the edge of my seat just waiting for the next explosion. And I'm sure in some sense I made it worse, but in another - I was just doing what I was told.
A late registration came in Friday while I was at the car dealer (again). By the time I got to the office at 2:00 I was playing catch up and accidentally overlooked the late registration - for Monday morning.
In one sense I'm set to argue, "He didn't tell me!" because part of his job is to make sure the registrations are processed timely. In the other sense (and the path I chose), I apologized, offering the weak argument that I was gone until 2:00 and he left at 3:00 without even looking at the registration.
To bite the bullet, I forwarded his rather smart-remark to MM3 with a lose apology ...
I'll just forward this to you now since I know it'll be talked about.
I was at the car dealer when this came over on Friday and I missed it prior to his leaving that day, I could have sworn (but it's not backed up in email) that I asked him on Friday if we were all caught up on blue sheets and there was no mention of it prior to him leaving. I understand it's not his job; however, to make sure I do mine.
I apologized for missing it.
I completely understand that our office has moved from free-spirited, talk-to-each other mentality to full-throttled who-will-tell-first and this was my attempt at counteracting what I already knew took place in the office while I was out.
I also offered this (with both head bosses bcc'd) to him in attempt of remorse:
That's two short emails from you this morning. Is there something going on that I'm not fully aware of that's making you angry with me?
I do understand that I missed the sheet, I moved it mistakenly to my Information folder thinking I had done it - but apparently had not. Not that it's any excuse, but I also thought we spoke about sheets on Friday and we were squared away? I could be mistaken, I was working on a lot of events that day.
I apologize in advance for whatever I did to make you upset before this as well. Please let me know what it is so I can work in the future towards your best interests.
This is what I HATE. I should not fear my job, my heart should not race, I should not be sick to my stomach anticipating what will happen to me when I arrive tomorrow morning.
Part of me is so irate - I've worked so hard to change a $3K business into a $30K business (that's A MONTH folks), I haven't argued at pay set back's, budget decreases, expense decreases (now if I take a client out - it's on my bill 98% of the time), I've dealt with more people coming on and more responsibilities going away and what I do is still not good enough.
I've also set the pace so that when I leave the business will still thrive. It's become a $20K inside-sales business on its own; honestly, taking away some of the joy of karma upon my absence.
Two years ago it was fun to go to work. It was easy to talk to each other, it was easy to award each other. There was no "coaching meetings" every 2-3 weeks to talk about what issues arose, there wasn't even monthly staff meetings. I loved my job.
Now I need a Tums.
Before I wanted to leave because I wanted the opportunity to grow and make more money, now I'm willing to take a $5K cut in pay to just get out.
Oh tangled-web.
A late registration came in Friday while I was at the car dealer (again). By the time I got to the office at 2:00 I was playing catch up and accidentally overlooked the late registration - for Monday morning.
In one sense I'm set to argue, "He didn't tell me!" because part of his job is to make sure the registrations are processed timely. In the other sense (and the path I chose), I apologized, offering the weak argument that I was gone until 2:00 and he left at 3:00 without even looking at the registration.
To bite the bullet, I forwarded his rather smart-remark to MM3 with a lose apology ...
I'll just forward this to you now since I know it'll be talked about.
I was at the car dealer when this came over on Friday and I missed it prior to his leaving that day, I could have sworn (but it's not backed up in email) that I asked him on Friday if we were all caught up on blue sheets and there was no mention of it prior to him leaving. I understand it's not his job; however, to make sure I do mine.
I apologized for missing it.
I completely understand that our office has moved from free-spirited, talk-to-each other mentality to full-throttled who-will-tell-first and this was my attempt at counteracting what I already knew took place in the office while I was out.
I also offered this (with both head bosses bcc'd) to him in attempt of remorse:
That's two short emails from you this morning. Is there something going on that I'm not fully aware of that's making you angry with me?
I do understand that I missed the sheet, I moved it mistakenly to my Information folder thinking I had done it - but apparently had not. Not that it's any excuse, but I also thought we spoke about sheets on Friday and we were squared away? I could be mistaken, I was working on a lot of events that day.
I apologize in advance for whatever I did to make you upset before this as well. Please let me know what it is so I can work in the future towards your best interests.
This is what I HATE. I should not fear my job, my heart should not race, I should not be sick to my stomach anticipating what will happen to me when I arrive tomorrow morning.
Part of me is so irate - I've worked so hard to change a $3K business into a $30K business (that's A MONTH folks), I haven't argued at pay set back's, budget decreases, expense decreases (now if I take a client out - it's on my bill 98% of the time), I've dealt with more people coming on and more responsibilities going away and what I do is still not good enough.
I've also set the pace so that when I leave the business will still thrive. It's become a $20K inside-sales business on its own; honestly, taking away some of the joy of karma upon my absence.
Two years ago it was fun to go to work. It was easy to talk to each other, it was easy to award each other. There was no "coaching meetings" every 2-3 weeks to talk about what issues arose, there wasn't even monthly staff meetings. I loved my job.
Now I need a Tums.
Before I wanted to leave because I wanted the opportunity to grow and make more money, now I'm willing to take a $5K cut in pay to just get out.
Oh tangled-web.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Hmmm.
Micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of their employees, generally used as a derogatory term.[citation needed] In contrast to giving general instructions on smaller tasks while supervising larger concerns, the micromanager monitors and assesses every step, and avoids delegation of decisions. Micromanagement is often easily recognized by employees, but micromanagers rarely view themselves as such.
Micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of their employees, generally used as a derogatory term.[citation needed] In contrast to giving general instructions on smaller tasks while supervising larger concerns, the micromanager monitors and assesses every step, and avoids delegation of decisions. Micromanagement is often easily recognized by employees, but micromanagers rarely view themselves as such.
That's what's going on! Micromanagement from 3 sides. I talked with 2 other employees yesterday and they vented the same frustrations.
Micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of their employees, generally used as a derogatory term.[citation needed] In contrast to giving general instructions on smaller tasks while supervising larger concerns, the micromanager monitors and assesses every step, and avoids delegation of decisions. Micromanagement is often easily recognized by employees, but micromanagers rarely view themselves as such.
That's what's going on! Micromanagement from 3 sides. I talked with 2 other employees yesterday and they vented the same frustrations.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Expectations.
One of my friends in from out of town decided she’s setting a list of expectations for her next FWB experience. As I was showering I had to make myself laugh - it’s actually a REALLY good idea. I think it should be implemented in all areas of life. Decisions would be so much easier since things were established beforehand and you can’t let crazy feelings like love or loyalty get in the way.
For instance, let’s say his list says this:
My expectations are ...
1. You pay for everything.
2. I don’t have to work, you can support me.
3. We should have sex 3-4 times a week.
4. You must throw me a birthday party.
5. Valentines day, sweetest day are null & void.
6. When I’m in the band, I’m single and can’t be held accountable for my actions.
7. I will spend no time at your place
8. If you want to see me/spend time with me - you’ll have to come here.
9. I’ll introduce you to a bunch of cool people, you must look hot.
10. You cannot exceed 100 calories a day.
That would have been my ex-boyfriend’s list. Had I known about the expectations ahead of time, I probably would have declined his invitation for coffee. But that’s extreme, in reality my dating list might look like:
1. If you choose to date me, you cannot be on any dating/sex hook up sites after the established time of girlfriend/boyfriend or 5 months out (whatever is sooner).
2. I will be more than happy to pay for 1/2 the time. In fact, I plan on it.
3. If I’m in a dress, I expect you’ll at the very minimum say I look nice. Words like "sexy" and "hot" are great alternatives.
4. I do not have a "great personality" - I know what that means.
5. I want spontaneity - routine is great 75% of the time
6. You should make me laugh or smile at the minimum.
7. Try your best to make my friends like you, their opinion matters more than anything. Especially 5 of them.
8. Sex should be incurred 4-5 times a week, minimum.
9. I don’t like to ask you to do anything more than 3 times - this is how I go crazy.
10. You should stay (or offer to stay) at my house at least once a week.
11. Must love cats.
12. I should be fun.
13. Don't use the phrase, "I can pay - I guess."
So it’s a pretty relatively easy list - but there’s lots of breakers in there... Maybe you hate cats. Maybe you’ve realized that you don’t listen - so 3 times doesn’t seem reasonable. Maybe you hate sex. Maybe you love routine ALL of the time. So after initially meeting, I could hand you the list and you could say, "I can’t do all these things - but you’re great, let’s hang out. (omission of great personality - nice call pretend guy)"
Or maybe things could be a little negotiated from the get go and I get to make the decision - "5 people to like me is a big number" - okay, maybe 3- just win them over. "Can you ask 4 times?" Sure, I can ask 4 times.
And than maybe everything looks great - so you’re in. I mean, I’d have to see your list, but depending on those results, it could be awesome.
And than maybe 6 months down the road, you’ve been boyfriend/girlfriend for 4 months and - oh, you’re on a dating site, so I call you out on it and let you know, "Well, according to my expectation list - I don’t find this behavior acceptable."
This is great leveraging points for people that make really bad relationship choices, like myself (really, that would have been my ex-boyfriend of TWO YEARS’s list).
But alas, I think the check list works much better for FWB than relationships. I also don’t think it’s a fad that will catch on.
For instance, let’s say his list says this:
My expectations are ...
1. You pay for everything.
2. I don’t have to work, you can support me.
3. We should have sex 3-4 times a week.
4. You must throw me a birthday party.
5. Valentines day, sweetest day are null & void.
6. When I’m in the band, I’m single and can’t be held accountable for my actions.
7. I will spend no time at your place
8. If you want to see me/spend time with me - you’ll have to come here.
9. I’ll introduce you to a bunch of cool people, you must look hot.
10. You cannot exceed 100 calories a day.
That would have been my ex-boyfriend’s list. Had I known about the expectations ahead of time, I probably would have declined his invitation for coffee. But that’s extreme, in reality my dating list might look like:
1. If you choose to date me, you cannot be on any dating/sex hook up sites after the established time of girlfriend/boyfriend or 5 months out (whatever is sooner).
2. I will be more than happy to pay for 1/2 the time. In fact, I plan on it.
3. If I’m in a dress, I expect you’ll at the very minimum say I look nice. Words like "sexy" and "hot" are great alternatives.
4. I do not have a "great personality" - I know what that means.
5. I want spontaneity - routine is great 75% of the time
6. You should make me laugh or smile at the minimum.
7. Try your best to make my friends like you, their opinion matters more than anything. Especially 5 of them.
8. Sex should be incurred 4-5 times a week, minimum.
9. I don’t like to ask you to do anything more than 3 times - this is how I go crazy.
10. You should stay (or offer to stay) at my house at least once a week.
11. Must love cats.
12. I should be fun.
13. Don't use the phrase, "I can pay - I guess."
So it’s a pretty relatively easy list - but there’s lots of breakers in there... Maybe you hate cats. Maybe you’ve realized that you don’t listen - so 3 times doesn’t seem reasonable. Maybe you hate sex. Maybe you love routine ALL of the time. So after initially meeting, I could hand you the list and you could say, "I can’t do all these things - but you’re great, let’s hang out. (omission of great personality - nice call pretend guy)"
Or maybe things could be a little negotiated from the get go and I get to make the decision - "5 people to like me is a big number" - okay, maybe 3- just win them over. "Can you ask 4 times?" Sure, I can ask 4 times.
And than maybe everything looks great - so you’re in. I mean, I’d have to see your list, but depending on those results, it could be awesome.
And than maybe 6 months down the road, you’ve been boyfriend/girlfriend for 4 months and - oh, you’re on a dating site, so I call you out on it and let you know, "Well, according to my expectation list - I don’t find this behavior acceptable."
This is great leveraging points for people that make really bad relationship choices, like myself (really, that would have been my ex-boyfriend of TWO YEARS’s list).
But alas, I think the check list works much better for FWB than relationships. I also don’t think it’s a fad that will catch on.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
He's going for it.
I talked with the BF around 10:00 - he's going to go for it - he said that he's going to take what my friends say about him to prove he wants to be with me. And just that saying means that they won't say anything.
So on that front ... I need to stop at the bank and get some quarters!! Opening day is just 2 days away!
Go Brewers!
So on that front ... I need to stop at the bank and get some quarters!! Opening day is just 2 days away!
Go Brewers!
Fight for it.
One of the biggest problems (I did say ONE) I have with the BF is that he doesn't fight for us. He lets me walk away, he doesn't run after me. On Saturday I brought this up to him and he said it's not his way.
Well, Friday is Opening Day and we'll see if he finally does. Five of my overprotective friends will be with us on Opening Day - it's his decision on whether or not to face them or to walk away. I'm hoping he faces them.
See, when the drinks are pouring people have a way of saying whatever is on their mind - and I have a feeling a couple people won't have kind words to say to him when that does happen. Most of them are expecting a sudden illness on Friday morning.
I'm really hoping he decides that he's going to go - no matter what - and prove to my friends that he's there for me.
But we'll see ...
Well, Friday is Opening Day and we'll see if he finally does. Five of my overprotective friends will be with us on Opening Day - it's his decision on whether or not to face them or to walk away. I'm hoping he faces them.
See, when the drinks are pouring people have a way of saying whatever is on their mind - and I have a feeling a couple people won't have kind words to say to him when that does happen. Most of them are expecting a sudden illness on Friday morning.
I'm really hoping he decides that he's going to go - no matter what - and prove to my friends that he's there for me.
But we'll see ...
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Crap.
This is a multi crap post.
Number One - Remember my anal post? Is it going to be all about anal from now on? Apparently so. I wasn't even horny last night (rare occasion) but he was. Granted the regular sex was pretty damn good, but then he goes right for the ass. Come on now!
Number Two - In the sense that my boss is on MySpace and I've put a couple random blogs up that she's brought up in our meetings, I've opted to go into increased security mode. I deleted everyone that I work with from there and put up a privacy wall. Not my friend? Can't see it dude. That way I don't have to worry about my bitching coming back to bite me. I still maintained the friendships on Facebook since I don't blog there.
Number Three - I parked in the lot this morning by my house, quickly changed and came out at 8:05 - just to see the meter maid pulling away and another $20 ticket on my car. Fabulous.
Number Four - I had my outfit all picked out. I went to put on my shirt and my cat did something completely out of context - he had peed on it. Even though I obviously didn't wear it, I'm paranoid that I smell.
Number Five - I'm not feeling so hot. My throat hurts and I'm sniffley. One of the dudes I work with has strep - I better not have gotten it.
Number Six - Can I go home??
Number One - Remember my anal post? Is it going to be all about anal from now on? Apparently so. I wasn't even horny last night (rare occasion) but he was. Granted the regular sex was pretty damn good, but then he goes right for the ass. Come on now!
Number Two - In the sense that my boss is on MySpace and I've put a couple random blogs up that she's brought up in our meetings, I've opted to go into increased security mode. I deleted everyone that I work with from there and put up a privacy wall. Not my friend? Can't see it dude. That way I don't have to worry about my bitching coming back to bite me. I still maintained the friendships on Facebook since I don't blog there.
Number Three - I parked in the lot this morning by my house, quickly changed and came out at 8:05 - just to see the meter maid pulling away and another $20 ticket on my car. Fabulous.
Number Four - I had my outfit all picked out. I went to put on my shirt and my cat did something completely out of context - he had peed on it. Even though I obviously didn't wear it, I'm paranoid that I smell.
Number Five - I'm not feeling so hot. My throat hurts and I'm sniffley. One of the dudes I work with has strep - I better not have gotten it.
Number Six - Can I go home??
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Did you call it?
You're so good you should put money on my posts.
I wish I would have left my job.
Sigh.
But I'll keep looking!
I wish I would have left my job.
Sigh.
But I'll keep looking!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The Yes Man.
Over the years I've developed into quite the Yes Man, and now I'm reaping what I sowed. Especially when it comes to family. You see, when my parents split some 15 years ago they divided up the holidays; however, if you dare not show up at Mom's on Thanksgiving (even though it's Dad's holiday) she's not going to talk to you until after Christmas. And when we proposed alternate holidays (Christmas on the 27 - yup, I'd even offer to give up my birthday), the response? "Have the other people move their holiday."
It's getting ridiculous now that I've been with the BF for 9 months. It's get up, go to his, go to my number one, go to my number two, go home, go to bed. 1/2 the day is in the car. It's gotten to the point where I'm about ready to accept the silent treatment and fall from grace so that I can have a moment of free time to myself. I mean, his family is the same way too - no budging. And we definitely can't combine the holidays.
The other thing is our Vegas vacation. That's a whole lot of "yes, mam" as well - I go with my mom - she wants to move, you move. She wants to eat, you eat. You do nothing without permission. Sleep in? Nope - she wakes up early. Well, this year the boyfriend wants to go (and let's revist the cruise - probably won't see him for a second) so I told him to bring a friend because it's the only way I can possibly balance the two people and make them both happy.
The downfall? Where do I come in? This is my vacation technically and I want my boyfriend there, I want to experience his first time there. It's a me & mom thing though, so she's throwing a fit and doing the guilt trip on how she'll just stay home - but I want her to be there so I have someone to hang out with. But these wants just don't seem to matter in the sense of balancing everyone.
I think I'm going to approach the BF with coming down on Sunday and not Saturday - that way me and mom have a day and a half to ourselves and he doesn't have to take an extra vacation day. Then he'll come down and come back with us.
I don't know .... advice??
It's getting ridiculous now that I've been with the BF for 9 months. It's get up, go to his, go to my number one, go to my number two, go home, go to bed. 1/2 the day is in the car. It's gotten to the point where I'm about ready to accept the silent treatment and fall from grace so that I can have a moment of free time to myself. I mean, his family is the same way too - no budging. And we definitely can't combine the holidays.
The other thing is our Vegas vacation. That's a whole lot of "yes, mam" as well - I go with my mom - she wants to move, you move. She wants to eat, you eat. You do nothing without permission. Sleep in? Nope - she wakes up early. Well, this year the boyfriend wants to go (and let's revist the cruise - probably won't see him for a second) so I told him to bring a friend because it's the only way I can possibly balance the two people and make them both happy.
The downfall? Where do I come in? This is my vacation technically and I want my boyfriend there, I want to experience his first time there. It's a me & mom thing though, so she's throwing a fit and doing the guilt trip on how she'll just stay home - but I want her to be there so I have someone to hang out with. But these wants just don't seem to matter in the sense of balancing everyone.
I think I'm going to approach the BF with coming down on Sunday and not Saturday - that way me and mom have a day and a half to ourselves and he doesn't have to take an extra vacation day. Then he'll come down and come back with us.
I don't know .... advice??
Monday, March 24, 2008
Anonymus Blogging.
Yung and Easily Freudened: Stupid. Bitch.
This is why I still choose to post Anonymously.
I've read a lot of posts about blogging with out divulging who you are and how it ruins your "cred" - but if you're putting it all out there like we do, sometimes you have to.
Truth be told, it's pretty damn easy to know who I am if you know me - I mean that's how D figured it out.
I couldn't imagine what the BF would do if he found out about this!
This is why I still choose to post Anonymously.
I've read a lot of posts about blogging with out divulging who you are and how it ruins your "cred" - but if you're putting it all out there like we do, sometimes you have to.
Truth be told, it's pretty damn easy to know who I am if you know me - I mean that's how D figured it out.
I couldn't imagine what the BF would do if he found out about this!
The truth about Anal.
This will be TMI for those of you faint at heart - because I wish that I could have found something as blunt as this before Sunday.
I have had anal sex in the past, but for the last 9 months haven't been able to do it no matter the coaxing. The first time I did it I was with what was supposed to be my fiance. A lot of lube and a bit of a sore butt later, I told myself I'd never do it again - and he had a pretty small cock. But the key was, I could do it because it was thin, not much girth. I got into a bit of drugs as well and ended up doing it completely stoned - this helped with the process. Majorly.
In the last few months the BF has done all he could to coax me into going butt up and letting him in. I've been wasted and it hasn't happened, I've been sober and it hasn't happened. I've wanted it to happen, but it hasn't. We've lubed, we've spit, we've done all things possible, but the tip went in, it hurt, I screamed, he freaked, I'd say if he really wanted it - he should just find someone else. It's not that his dick is huge - it's not that big. Average I'd have to say. It's a decent width, decent length. He's definitely bigger than the two that I've had it with - but still it's not something I'd write home to Mom about or anything, nor take pictures and fantasize.
I digress. So the dirty truth is I really needed to cum on Sunday morning. I was stir crazy. He looked so damn hot laying in bed, hair messed up, those baby blues looking at me in the morning. He did that breathing thing on my neck and it was like "Game on!" I jumped all about. He'd get hard, and then it would turn out that all that drinking dried me out really bad. But I had some lube in my purse and down I went to get it. I came back up, we started to have sex, I dried out. I was ticked.
That's when it dawned on me that the only time I ever came with the fiance was when we had anal sex (yes, just that once). I was desperate, I'd work through the pain, I just needed to cum. I looked at him, "where's the lube?"
"You're too dry sweetheart." His response.
"Fuck me in the ass."
I swear just the "a" came out of my mouth and he was lubed up and ready, hard as a rock. The truth is that phrase made him even harder than he'd ever been, which, by the way, makes his dick A LOT bigger than usual. Fuck.
He wanted to be slow and gentle, I told him to just do it. And he did. The pain was excruciating. I jumped like a Mexican jumping bean. Wiping the tears from my eyes I told him to let me do it.
It turns out that to start off it was much better with me on top. I had control of the depth and the angle. Breathe deeply. Use a lot of lube. It's gonna hurt but just get it in.
After awhile of me being in control he spun me around and propped me up doggy-style. The angle was all wrong but I just kept breathing - the shaking of my legs said it all and he told me to lie down to ease up the angle. So I did. This was much better to do, the angle was smoother but the doggy style really had me in pain. I could tell that he was about ready to cum, so I gripped the mattress and breathed as he finished up and collapsed on top of me. It wasn't but a few moments that he had been flipped on to his back and I took off for the bathroom. Just what I thought and expected - blood.
So what to expect if you're going bottoms-up for the first time ...
"Relax" isn't an option. There's a dick going in your butt. Your butt is not meant to be as flexible as your vagina. He can tell you to breath all you want but it's not going to happen.
Lube is mandatory.
Take control the first time, than let him go.
And don't expect to take a shit for a day. You'll also have gas - especially if you used a lot of lube. And it hurts when both of those happen. I bled until this morning.
Lucky bastard.
But it wasn't that bad ...
I'm just wondering if this is going to be like high school sex ... you know that first time you're with a guy and for the first 3 months you're fine with just groping each other, than you get involved with oral and that's all he wants every time you make out afterwards, than you have sex - so you pretty much have to do that all the time ... does that mean he's going to try and pop it in there EVERY TIME??
I have had anal sex in the past, but for the last 9 months haven't been able to do it no matter the coaxing. The first time I did it I was with what was supposed to be my fiance. A lot of lube and a bit of a sore butt later, I told myself I'd never do it again - and he had a pretty small cock. But the key was, I could do it because it was thin, not much girth. I got into a bit of drugs as well and ended up doing it completely stoned - this helped with the process. Majorly.
In the last few months the BF has done all he could to coax me into going butt up and letting him in. I've been wasted and it hasn't happened, I've been sober and it hasn't happened. I've wanted it to happen, but it hasn't. We've lubed, we've spit, we've done all things possible, but the tip went in, it hurt, I screamed, he freaked, I'd say if he really wanted it - he should just find someone else. It's not that his dick is huge - it's not that big. Average I'd have to say. It's a decent width, decent length. He's definitely bigger than the two that I've had it with - but still it's not something I'd write home to Mom about or anything, nor take pictures and fantasize.
I digress. So the dirty truth is I really needed to cum on Sunday morning. I was stir crazy. He looked so damn hot laying in bed, hair messed up, those baby blues looking at me in the morning. He did that breathing thing on my neck and it was like "Game on!" I jumped all about. He'd get hard, and then it would turn out that all that drinking dried me out really bad. But I had some lube in my purse and down I went to get it. I came back up, we started to have sex, I dried out. I was ticked.
That's when it dawned on me that the only time I ever came with the fiance was when we had anal sex (yes, just that once). I was desperate, I'd work through the pain, I just needed to cum. I looked at him, "where's the lube?"
"You're too dry sweetheart." His response.
"Fuck me in the ass."
I swear just the "a" came out of my mouth and he was lubed up and ready, hard as a rock. The truth is that phrase made him even harder than he'd ever been, which, by the way, makes his dick A LOT bigger than usual. Fuck.
He wanted to be slow and gentle, I told him to just do it. And he did. The pain was excruciating. I jumped like a Mexican jumping bean. Wiping the tears from my eyes I told him to let me do it.
It turns out that to start off it was much better with me on top. I had control of the depth and the angle. Breathe deeply. Use a lot of lube. It's gonna hurt but just get it in.
After awhile of me being in control he spun me around and propped me up doggy-style. The angle was all wrong but I just kept breathing - the shaking of my legs said it all and he told me to lie down to ease up the angle. So I did. This was much better to do, the angle was smoother but the doggy style really had me in pain. I could tell that he was about ready to cum, so I gripped the mattress and breathed as he finished up and collapsed on top of me. It wasn't but a few moments that he had been flipped on to his back and I took off for the bathroom. Just what I thought and expected - blood.
So what to expect if you're going bottoms-up for the first time ...
"Relax" isn't an option. There's a dick going in your butt. Your butt is not meant to be as flexible as your vagina. He can tell you to breath all you want but it's not going to happen.
Lube is mandatory.
Take control the first time, than let him go.
And don't expect to take a shit for a day. You'll also have gas - especially if you used a lot of lube. And it hurts when both of those happen. I bled until this morning.
Lucky bastard.
But it wasn't that bad ...
I'm just wondering if this is going to be like high school sex ... you know that first time you're with a guy and for the first 3 months you're fine with just groping each other, than you get involved with oral and that's all he wants every time you make out afterwards, than you have sex - so you pretty much have to do that all the time ... does that mean he's going to try and pop it in there EVERY TIME??
Recap o' Events.
Did you know that last Thursday started Spring? It was GORGEOUS. 40 plus degrees. I wanted to run REALLY bad, but couldn't do to events.
And you know what happened on Friday? 14 inches of snow. We closed the office and canceled my event. 14 damn inches.
I got off of work at 1:00 and decided I was not going to trek out to see Remmy, #1 and B - but then, I got stuck. In my alley. WAY stuck. 45 minutes stuck. The BF was out on the northside so he couldn't help out, so me and some kitty litter worked really hard on getting my tires to grip. I looked over at the parking lot and it was just the same, people stuck all over the place. I figured this was a word from above telling me to go out with my friends.
It took me about 45 minutes to drive 18 miles - but I finally arrived at Paragon for some drinking fun. Knowing the weather was bad and already having a slush-can't-see run in on the express way, I opted to take it easy ... until the BF called and I found out he was getting out of work early and would head on up to Stallis. That's when I decided drinking was a good idea - I mean, he could drive if I got trashed. So down the Captain and Cokes went.
A couple rounds of bags, a little flirtation, accidentally grabbing Remy's not-shot-glasses in his pocket, an hour long conversation with the dude next to me about car accident later I was sobered up and headed back to the BFs. He wanted sex, I wanted sleep. So that's what I did, on his couch.
About 3am I crawled into bed with him and slept soundly until he had to go to work. We both woke up incredibly horny from not really seeing each other all week. I can tell you this ... walking up to someone kissing your neck and grabbing your tits is awesome. A 20 minute romp in the sack, I was back asleep and he was off to work.
I woke up around 10am and headed home, did a little shopping and then got ready for the Pit's 1st year anniversary. I got the BF's, prepped the appetizers for Easter and watched Marquette lose by one point - than it was off to the Pit.
There was a pizza eating contest and lots of music, to which my lovely BF serenaded the whole bar and danced like a white dude. Too many mixed cocktails later, we decided it was a good idea to go to the casino.
4:30 in the morning later and $80 down, we headed home - climbed into bed and promptly snored ourselves to sleep, knowing in just a couple hours the race to each other's families was on.
We woke up at 10:00 and I couldn't wait to get it on. It had been over a week since I came and I needed it before I smiled joyfully at my family and talked about work and "what's new" twenty times over. About an hour into messing around I was disappointed in the hangover sex and looked at the BF who, as always, was joking that he wanted to throw it in my butt. "Fine. But I need to cum."
See the post above.
I ran home, changed into my dress and flipped open my phone as R called. She was at my door and wanted to get a shot at the High. She's done so much for me that I couldn't say no. So on went the strappy sandals and the spring dress and over to the bar. "Happy Easter!" Shot glass in the air, down the hatch and into my car I went.
Right in front of the gas station my "almost out of gas" light pops on and I pull up to the pump - only to see my tire is out of air. Shit.
Over the snow bank I go in my sandals and struggle to get the air hose over to my tire. Crouched in my dress the attendant comes out and fills it for me. Over to the pump and $45 bucks later I have a full tire and tank.
The BF didn't want to risk the chance of a slow leak, so we piled into his car and headed out to family one. Than to my family.
I've decided that after this it's a one-family a holiday event. I'll give up some if he will. All though he did say perhaps we could host Thanksgiving to ease it up a bit.
And you know what happened on Friday? 14 inches of snow. We closed the office and canceled my event. 14 damn inches.
I got off of work at 1:00 and decided I was not going to trek out to see Remmy, #1 and B - but then, I got stuck. In my alley. WAY stuck. 45 minutes stuck. The BF was out on the northside so he couldn't help out, so me and some kitty litter worked really hard on getting my tires to grip. I looked over at the parking lot and it was just the same, people stuck all over the place. I figured this was a word from above telling me to go out with my friends.
It took me about 45 minutes to drive 18 miles - but I finally arrived at Paragon for some drinking fun. Knowing the weather was bad and already having a slush-can't-see run in on the express way, I opted to take it easy ... until the BF called and I found out he was getting out of work early and would head on up to Stallis. That's when I decided drinking was a good idea - I mean, he could drive if I got trashed. So down the Captain and Cokes went.
A couple rounds of bags, a little flirtation, accidentally grabbing Remy's not-shot-glasses in his pocket, an hour long conversation with the dude next to me about car accident later I was sobered up and headed back to the BFs. He wanted sex, I wanted sleep. So that's what I did, on his couch.
About 3am I crawled into bed with him and slept soundly until he had to go to work. We both woke up incredibly horny from not really seeing each other all week. I can tell you this ... walking up to someone kissing your neck and grabbing your tits is awesome. A 20 minute romp in the sack, I was back asleep and he was off to work.
I woke up around 10am and headed home, did a little shopping and then got ready for the Pit's 1st year anniversary. I got the BF's, prepped the appetizers for Easter and watched Marquette lose by one point - than it was off to the Pit.
There was a pizza eating contest and lots of music, to which my lovely BF serenaded the whole bar and danced like a white dude. Too many mixed cocktails later, we decided it was a good idea to go to the casino.
4:30 in the morning later and $80 down, we headed home - climbed into bed and promptly snored ourselves to sleep, knowing in just a couple hours the race to each other's families was on.
We woke up at 10:00 and I couldn't wait to get it on. It had been over a week since I came and I needed it before I smiled joyfully at my family and talked about work and "what's new" twenty times over. About an hour into messing around I was disappointed in the hangover sex and looked at the BF who, as always, was joking that he wanted to throw it in my butt. "Fine. But I need to cum."
See the post above.
I ran home, changed into my dress and flipped open my phone as R called. She was at my door and wanted to get a shot at the High. She's done so much for me that I couldn't say no. So on went the strappy sandals and the spring dress and over to the bar. "Happy Easter!" Shot glass in the air, down the hatch and into my car I went.
Right in front of the gas station my "almost out of gas" light pops on and I pull up to the pump - only to see my tire is out of air. Shit.
Over the snow bank I go in my sandals and struggle to get the air hose over to my tire. Crouched in my dress the attendant comes out and fills it for me. Over to the pump and $45 bucks later I have a full tire and tank.
The BF didn't want to risk the chance of a slow leak, so we piled into his car and headed out to family one. Than to my family.
I've decided that after this it's a one-family a holiday event. I'll give up some if he will. All though he did say perhaps we could host Thanksgiving to ease it up a bit.
Clarity.
So first off, I shouldn't probably blog when I'm drunk, second off, the post wasn't about the BF below but a different encounter (me being the best friend referred to in the text) and just a bit of annoyance on the part of my friend.
I'll post more later!
I'll post more later!
Friday, March 21, 2008
What NOT to say.
When you’re drunk - you should NOT say:
"I can’t have sex - not because I’m tired - I’ll tell you later"
LATER COMES: "I have sores on my cock"
When talking about her best friend, and her date jokes about how she made out with him because he was drunk. Your comment in front of your girlfriend should not be "I guess I wasn’t drunk enough for her to make out with me."
ESPECIALLY IF YOU FUCKED YOUR WIFE'S BEST FRIED WHEN YOU WERE MARRIED.
Oh - and not responding to the text, "I just want to be worthy of you actually loving me for me" also not smart.
"I can’t have sex - not because I’m tired - I’ll tell you later"
LATER COMES: "I have sores on my cock"
When talking about her best friend, and her date jokes about how she made out with him because he was drunk. Your comment in front of your girlfriend should not be "I guess I wasn’t drunk enough for her to make out with me."
ESPECIALLY IF YOU FUCKED YOUR WIFE'S BEST FRIED WHEN YOU WERE MARRIED.
Oh - and not responding to the text, "I just want to be worthy of you actually loving me for me" also not smart.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
In continuation ...
I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY need to get a good night's sleep tonight. It's so hard to be away from your own bed. I've been sleeping on the couch since both the dogs I'm sitting for want to sleep in the bed, making no room for me. My shoulders and neck kill and even just the point of being in a weird place makes you sleep less.
Today's fun adventure began at 6am and will end around 7. The BF would really like to go to the casino tonight, but I think I'm going to pass. It just doesn't make sense to spend money I don't have at this point - plus I'd prefer to be a good dog sitter anyway.
I need to get to the gym as well. Damn it's hard juggling all of these things! I'd love to do it over lunch - but, nope, meetings. After work? Nope, meetings. Before work? Are you kidding me? I'm getting up at 5:30am in Whitefish Bay, walking the pups, leaving at 6:30am, going to my house, feeding the cat, showering, getting ready, and going to work by 8:00am.
Sleep. Please!
Today's fun adventure began at 6am and will end around 7. The BF would really like to go to the casino tonight, but I think I'm going to pass. It just doesn't make sense to spend money I don't have at this point - plus I'd prefer to be a good dog sitter anyway.
I need to get to the gym as well. Damn it's hard juggling all of these things! I'd love to do it over lunch - but, nope, meetings. After work? Nope, meetings. Before work? Are you kidding me? I'm getting up at 5:30am in Whitefish Bay, walking the pups, leaving at 6:30am, going to my house, feeding the cat, showering, getting ready, and going to work by 8:00am.
Sleep. Please!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Kit Kat Bar.
Give me a break, give me a break ...
Seriously. I'm exhausted. I'm also dog sitting this week in the hopes of having some extra cash before my $3K doctor's bills come. I wish I had the ability to see the future so I would have maxed out my Flex. Oh well, $500 is $500 towards it.
Let's see - life is boring as all hell. I can't wait for opening day.
I didn't take the job. All though the boss seemed like I should have and it's not like I got a "Please stay" incentive. Nope. Nada. Not even my fall vacation approved. But that's okay - I'm not regretting my decision, although the sales do suck this month so it's not looking like I'm getting my usual commission check.
So that's the work front. The BF front is same-old-same-old. I wish we'd do something exciting and thrilling - even if it's just a pin against the wall screw. Oh please, pin me against the wall and screw me!
Seriously. I'm exhausted. I'm also dog sitting this week in the hopes of having some extra cash before my $3K doctor's bills come. I wish I had the ability to see the future so I would have maxed out my Flex. Oh well, $500 is $500 towards it.
Let's see - life is boring as all hell. I can't wait for opening day.
I didn't take the job. All though the boss seemed like I should have and it's not like I got a "Please stay" incentive. Nope. Nada. Not even my fall vacation approved. But that's okay - I'm not regretting my decision, although the sales do suck this month so it's not looking like I'm getting my usual commission check.
So that's the work front. The BF front is same-old-same-old. I wish we'd do something exciting and thrilling - even if it's just a pin against the wall screw. Oh please, pin me against the wall and screw me!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Is this legal?
I came home today to change before my networking meeting tonight and my apartment door is wide open, lights on, windows open (with my heat on) and no one has told me they'd be there. This is the fourth time it's happened. Each time I've called my landlord and said, by law, I get 24 hours AT LEAST.
Now I want to call him and tell him that I'm done and want out of my lease since this is a continual problem - or at the very least, if it happens again - I'm moving. I mean for goodness sake, my cat could have run out of the house.
The only thing is I don't know if that's legal and I'm not sure if it should be a phone call or not. Maybe a phone call and a letter.
Anyone know??
Now I want to call him and tell him that I'm done and want out of my lease since this is a continual problem - or at the very least, if it happens again - I'm moving. I mean for goodness sake, my cat could have run out of the house.
The only thing is I don't know if that's legal and I'm not sure if it should be a phone call or not. Maybe a phone call and a letter.
Anyone know??
Standing Next to a Cheater
So you’re husband spent $80K on hookers and you’re just standing by his side as he admits it to the whole entire world. What would people think?
I wouldn’t have done it. Not in a second. I would have taken a stance for women for the first time in political history and not been there as a punching bag of support. I admit that I didn’t vote for Hilary because of her reaction to Bill. I don’t stand for cheating. Never have, never will.
It’s something I can’t fully compute still and I’ve b*tched about it several times. This is what makes me distrust people. Although, I know people have their faults, it doesn’t mean I have to stand by you and look like an idiot when yours go public.
I’ve read the rhetorics - she has daughters she’s trying to protect, showing them that she’s there for their father. My response? Bull Sh*t. You’re telling your daughters that it’s okay for their husband to spend EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on high-end hookers and still be with them. Although it’s a little more far fetched - you might even be sending the signal that’s it’s okay to BE a high priced whore.
News Flash - IT’S NOT OKAY.
Even if they had sons, I feel like it would be the same message - it’s okay to cheat on your wife - look she’ll stand by your side no matter how many diseased pussies you shove your cock into. Isn’t that sweet?
I don’t buy it for a second. She’s afraid of the life she’ll lose if she leaves. The bank account, the housing, the "prestige" (although I’d argue that she’s not looking to prestigious right now). She’s standing by his side for sh*t.
I wouldn’t have done it. Not in a second. I would have taken a stance for women for the first time in political history and not been there as a punching bag of support. I admit that I didn’t vote for Hilary because of her reaction to Bill. I don’t stand for cheating. Never have, never will.
It’s something I can’t fully compute still and I’ve b*tched about it several times. This is what makes me distrust people. Although, I know people have their faults, it doesn’t mean I have to stand by you and look like an idiot when yours go public.
I’ve read the rhetorics - she has daughters she’s trying to protect, showing them that she’s there for their father. My response? Bull Sh*t. You’re telling your daughters that it’s okay for their husband to spend EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on high-end hookers and still be with them. Although it’s a little more far fetched - you might even be sending the signal that’s it’s okay to BE a high priced whore.
News Flash - IT’S NOT OKAY.
Even if they had sons, I feel like it would be the same message - it’s okay to cheat on your wife - look she’ll stand by your side no matter how many diseased pussies you shove your cock into. Isn’t that sweet?
I don’t buy it for a second. She’s afraid of the life she’ll lose if she leaves. The bank account, the housing, the "prestige" (although I’d argue that she’s not looking to prestigious right now). She’s standing by his side for sh*t.
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