Tis the Season

While I love the holidays and I do enjoy Christmas because I love to make people's days - I also hate this time of year in the straight out Bah humbug kind of way.

First of all, it's a pity party for myself. This is my 3rd, technically 4th Christmas season alone. 4 years ago I was falling out with Guitar guy and didn't even spend time with him during the season, though we "technically" were together still. I'll never forget having to travel to Neenah under the pretense that we were still together. Shoot me. And while I've had an ankling pool of boys, none of them were ever around for this time of year which of course means that I got no kisses in the snow or gifts (even in the 4th year segment) to show appreciation. And then there's my birthday.

I'm December 27, two freaking days after Christmas. One of the busiest traveling days as well. Which means people are either just getting done with the holidays or traveling back after them. This, ironically, means that I plan my own get togethers and while the whole bayou says "no problem! we'll meet you out!" it also means on that day I usually sit on a bar stool by myself only to be bombarded with phone calls on the 29th insisting that they feel like horrible friends and they forgot. The past couple years I've traveled over the date and just go MIA. That way I blame poor cell reception on the lack of phone calls and no one has any pressure to see me because I'm out of town. This year, however, my birthday lands during the week and I can't escape due to other people's holiday schedules. I've given up any hope of a get together and will be dining with my sister and her two-year old.

Digressing back to the alone thing, to top it all off it seems like it's over between me and RS. Rightfully so, it's that time of year and I knew he was getting feelings as well. Turns out I was his hooker without having to pay. I say this because a Fuck Buddy at least gets some communication, whereas once you're done with a hooker you have no need to call or talk to them again. After unreturned phone calls and texts, I've opted out of this game. As JF and #1 point out, as soon as I get that text I'll be driving to Madison to spread my legs, but in the same sense I'm over it.

And then there's work. I love my job as you may know, but we're going through big changes right now and I'm not sure I want to hold on. The bad things about sales are also usually the best, meaning that the more you sell the more you make. I've tripled their sales on a monthly basis and now have adjusted my lifestyle to fit that of what I'm used too, but now I keep hearing "I know this is tying your hands ..." and am basically stuck with not having an opportunity to make my sales and therefore commissions. Not to mention the coordinator at work likes to use me as a scapegoat for things and seems to be trying to pound nails into my coffin. On numerous occassions I've asked him if he's trying to get me fired and the response is always a chuckle. I'm too old to play these games.

I'm too old maybe should be the theme of this bah-humbug post. I'm too old to be a hooker, to be in kid like games at work and to old to count on people to try to make me happy.

So raise your glasses and cheers to the holiday season, and if you're in Milwaukee on the 27th say Happy Birthday to the blonde at the bar with the Bud Light at the Highbury.