Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

I don't hate this season 100% because of Christmas or my birthday, I hate that it slows and we have to perceive our lives in the last year and are tempted to make judgements on it.

A couple phrases I've found very insightful the past few days:

Live your life with no regrets, because you'll never wonder what if.

I've loved 1/2 my life, hated the other 1/2, and in the meantime I forgot to live it.


The first phrase is how I've lived my life in the last few years. I spent too much of my youth being cautious and doing things for other people that I decided to live my life with no regrets. While painful leasons have been learned in the process, I don't regret much that has happened to me. For instance, when I saw RS was online I toyed with should I text or not. I called a friend who told me, "You've got two possible outcomes - he'll answer back or he won't. Would you regret not knowing either way?" So I went to my back up phone, found his number and sent him a text - "So looking to schedule a welcome home interaction?"

As I waited for a response, I was reminded of a phrase I heard ions ago (I can't even remember the source - but the person was dying at the time) - the second phrase. I contemplated, with my legs hanging off my balcony, if in all the hub-bub of working, socializing and going on with daily activities if I forgot the main purpose of why I'm here - to live. I for the most part am not a hateful person, but when I was younger I spent a good amount of time hating people that my boyfriend informed me weren't good people - including my father. I was wrong. In recent years I've become more laxed and found that hating people is not in my nature and I wasted over 1/2 of what my life will be doing it. So I've decided to love everyone and not regret them or the relationships I've been in. But I don't think I've actually really loved anyone and I don't think I've actually lived my life.

So what's a girl to do? I pondered as my phone vibrated from a text and beeped back - "What did you have in mind?"

I smiled. So JF and #1 were right to a point, I was willing to make a stop this weekend when I was out and about in Madison for a friend's party, but not that night. Instead he came to me. And I came twice.