And I'm not sure where to start. Part of me wants to skip the events prior to the trip and during the trip, but you're jumping in your seats so I'll fill you in.
We did talk about the events that occurred when both of us were under the influence, and it comes down to the fact that's he comfortable enough with me to share his indiscretions (and I should mention here that he's never 100% said I suck in bed - just agreed quantity is higher than quality). I shared that I'm not a trusting person. We decided we still wanted to be us.
The night before the cruise we headed down to a local Mexican joint we frequent due to the delicious nature of their margaritas. We had one too many. So we went to the porn store for goodies during our "sex-fest" cruise that he kept bragging to his buddies about. $75 in goodies and a quick romp in one of the sex booths (we were REALLY drunk) we headed home, had sex and crashed before waking up at 4am to get to the airport.
Day one was amazing. It was hugging and kissing and holding hands. But day two was the day there was 9 million things happening on the cruise ship - and I barely saw him after that. He ran out of money by Saturday night and had to constantly borrow mine, I bought his son souvenirs, his parents (but stopped short of his ex-wife - that was out of his own pocket). Frankly it was getting old and I was getting irritated. I watched 3 sunrises by myself and 2 sunsets.
On the most romantic night of the cruise he wouldn't even comment that I looked nice, he wouldn't hold my hand, get a picture taken, walk into the restaurant with me. I was in tears. The only time he took a second to spend with me was at Bingo - because he wanted my ticket into the Black Jack tournament.
By day four we were on our second excursion and even though I was incredibly mad, I wanted to put it behind me and have this adventure with the guy I loved. It worked - until we got back to Calica. We met up with my sister and her fiance in one of the little shops, the BF ordered a couple Coronas and I went to bargain for some bracelets with my little sis. When I got back, he had drank it. Yup. The ONE thing the f*cker paid for the entire trip, he drank. I went back onto the boat.
We didn't have sex, we didn't kiss, we didn't touch - not even sleeping. I was heartbroken. I felt more like a roommate than a romantic partner and here I spent $6K at this mutha f*cker.
We had a charity function to go to on Friday - one where I'm kind of a big deal - so here he saw all this attention, everyone saying "You look amazing" "You look beautiful" etc. He finally said to someone, "Well - she always looks hot." And that led to a conversation about the whole trip fiasco. He said he was too over stimulated that he thought "we can have sex anytime - when can I do ..." and took everything for granted. The talk made me feel better - but not the continued weekend of me paying for everything until I was out of cash for 2 weeks, because his "bank changed over."
Things are on the rough - I'd really like him to pay me back at least part of what he owes me since he didn't do anything for me on the cruise. The funny thing is, I wouldn't have felt bad about giving him money if he didn't make me feel so rejected. We'll see what Valentine's Day brings.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
"The funny thing is, I wouldn't have felt bad about giving him money if he didn't make me feel so rejected." Wow. Even if he was 100% attentive the whole vacation he still OWES you that money. He should have warned you before going how much money he had to spend and budgeted accordingly. You paid for his tickets, right? And then you gave him "walking around" money? You're one amazing sugar momma. Just because he feels comfortable with you doesn't mean he has the right to disrespect you or your relationship in public, no matter how much he's had to drink. What concerns me is that he didn't seem interested in spending any time with you at all on vacation. It's not even the lack of presence that bothers me, it's the lack of desire to be connected with you on the same adventure. From a totally outside perspective it seems like you're forking out the dough to keep him around. It's one thing to help pay for stuff so you two can be together (like drinks or entertainment fees), it's another to pay for souvenirs for other people. At least you stopped at his ex...but that also begs the question, why bring your ex a souvenir from a vacation with your current GF?
I threw a fit about that, I do believe it went "What? You drink the beer you bought me but your bringing your EX-WIFE a souvenir?" I do have some major doubts about forever after the vaca - I'm waiting for him to pay me back before I 100% high tail. I'm confused.
Wow. Tumultuous. I'm afraid I don't have any words of good advice. I'm sorry you felt rejected though. By your own boyfriend. That sucks. There isn't a nice way to say it. I only know you online, but I do know that you don't deserve rejection, you deserve awesomeness personified.
He's not going to pay you that money back.
Sorry to hear it MG!!
Don't hold your breath regarding VDay. Even if he does do something nice, it really won't make up for being a douchbag (no offense) the other 364 or days of the year.
It sounds like you know where this is going.
I hope you recoup some of the money lost, but unfortunately I've seen this happen before. I know a girl that's determined to get back the thousand bucks her ex owes her from a trip to the bahamas, but it's already been three months with no luck.
You're an awesome chick and you deserve a guy that will appreciate you without having to be told to appreciate you.
Sorry MG. Did you at least get a nice tan?
I'm sorry MG about your vacation. I know you love him and are confused about the whole situation. That's totally understandable with the given actions. I know when a person is on the inside looking at something, sometimes it's hard to see what's really going on but those of us on the outside (reading your blog) looking in, have a crystal clear view. You deserve so much better in a relationship than what this has produced. The question is, Do you believe that you deserve better?
From what you have blogged about the BF, he doesn't know how to have a healthy relationship and doesn't have any interest in having a healthy one anytime soon. To me it sounds like he's still in love with his ex-wife, like he'd screw around with any girl given the chance and that he lets his GF foot the bill for most of his vacation. But more importantly it sounds like you are willing to put up with this just to have a relationship with him. Why? I ask.
The two of you really need to sit down, without the alcohol, and discuss the relationship and your feelings, even discuss the money situation. Then see what he does after the fact. I honestly don't think he'll pay you back your money, though I hope he does. I would like to say that you need to let him go, because the only person you can change is yourself but maybe just "taking a break" from each other for a while would help you have a better vision of your future.
Get rid of the guy, he sounds like a loser. As for the cruise, I dont know the situation but did you invite the guy, or did he mention he didnt have much money to go on a cruise.
I am a guy and since I have money I have paid for plane tickets and such. However, I have never once asked for money back after the trip since invited them. Anyway they probably would have not paid me back.
I did invite him on the cruise (under the pretense of paying for the plane tickets and the cruise itself) for his birthday & Christmas; however, when we found out that the bills technically run about $1000 for 2 people I told him that he could put his drinks on my card (his only has a $200 credit limit) and he said he'd pay me back after. I also told him that all gambling and souvenirs were his responsibility, but when he ran out I stupidly allowed him to use my money for that as well with him promising to pay it back after the cruise.
I'm actually assuming I won't see any of the money he owes me at this point. Because his birthday is this weekend, I don't want to be "that girl" that breaks up with him right before - instead I think we'll have a sit down chat early next week and decide what to do with "us" then.
Can I have a girlfriend like you? It'd be great to get away from the cold & snow!! :)
I've said this before, but you don't need someone in your life like him. The anonymous poster was correct -- those of us reading your blog can clearly see this guy for who he is. Even knowing that we're only getting your side of the story, still, this guy is no good. The bad times/rejection/uncertainty certainly outweigh the good times/fun/"love."
If you want to wait until after his birthday to break up, fine. But while you're waiting, why don't you go over the last several months of entries in this blog and really try to read them.
This man is in his mid 30s but most of the time he acts like a young kid. I know 18-year-olds (my students) who are more mature and grounded.
I know you don't need one more person's opinion on this, and ultimately, it's your decision and your life, but I hope you take the advice of reading old blog posts and seriously thinking if this is the type of person you want to associate yourself with.
You do deserve better.
Heres two big warning signs - One - he blew all his money on day one. Two - he only has a $200 dollar limit. Sounds like he has a lot of financial issues and you wont be seeing this money. Unfortunately, since this constituted a gift, you can't even sue the MF if you break up. Hope things get better real soon or kick him to the curb. There seems to be more bad days than good with this guy. Not a good sign.
Sorry,
but as stated earlier...you WANT him to be your boyfriend...but the truth that others see by reading your own words..is that he is a creep and you are just too blind to see...It is better to be alone, until the right guy comes around , then to have a "boyfriend" and still be along...You seem like a bright person..step back...try to see what is really going on..Dont wait for his bd...break it off now, cut your losses..He will use you as long as he can or until something else comes along. He is a LOSER...I cant believe that is what you want for your life..
More posting, less non posting!
Post a Comment