And the drama continues. Plus an update.

First the drama. Holy crap, I need to keep my mouth shut as R has brought in the horses.

She ended up myspacing (f*cking Myspace) J, who responded that she can't trust anyone anymore (mainly me, of course) and she's laying low and isn't sure how she got involved in the whole thing. Honestly, she was just a bystander but to me she chooses her companions and obviously if he is this type of person to (a) someone he's known for 6 years and (b) someone he's slept with - what makes her special?

In the one sense, one thing did get blown out of proportion, I never had mentioned SC spreading rumors about R's weekend, just that he mentioned it was what he thought. That got out of hand and I take full responsibility.

I'm so tired of it. So sick of it. My hororscope said today "Things happen for a reason ... and in good time you'll know what that reason is." Hopefully "in good time" is soon.

Anyhow, in update news ...

BG left the funniest drunk voicemail Friday, after listening to only a minute of the 5 I woke JL up to enjoy the humor. As the message played it got funnier towards the end - but then he said, "I'm kind of scared ... umm ... I like you." Click.

I sat with my jaw wide open, I was not expecting that whatsoever. Especially since not but 6 hours before I heard it I was with CB.

So backing up a second, Friday CB joined me out and we had a great walk - turns out the relaxation got to me a bit more than I thought and I ended up passed out shortly there after. There was no kissing, as usual.

Saturday he invited me to a house party, but again - I fell asleep.

Sunday we went to the game and there was basically nothing happening. I dropped him off at home and decided I was done. I couldn't handle not knowing and the little things that count to me haven't been happening.

Monday I went out with #1 when CB called as I was explaining how done I was - turns out on Friday I invited CB to BG's gig. Crap. In shock I said, "I invited you to that?" And to recover I mentioned I didn't know how I'd feel - I would be having surgery.

Tuesday I woke up with a hangover. I won't recount the events in yesterday's post but that basically summarizes it.

Fast forward to this Friday, BG is in DC and CB and I made plans to go out with R. In the meantime, I'm finishing up work when I get an IM, "WRUW?" from RS.

Shocked, RS mentioned he thought I was mad because I hadn't called in 2 weeks. I explained after the last blow off the ball was in his court. This through me for a loop!

I toyed with the results of Friday - if it were bad, I'd go to Madison, but we had a blast and I ended up kissing CB which led to making out all night long. He's even getting better! So i've stayed in MKE all weekend! Yeah me!

Why friends shouldn't do other peoples friends.

So much to write ... sorry for the lack of updates; however, there's been a hell of a lot of lack of sleep and, of course, a good handful of drama. Where to start?

J has been seeing a friend of mine for a couple months now, who is a NOTORIOUS womanizer, and so not monogamous - even when he likes someone. He even has been known to pass a girl on to a friend and then break up with her because she "cheated" on him. We're going to call him SC or self-centered.

For the most part I haven't minded their relationship, it seemed to be "fun" and not serious. Well, then SC started seeing another friend of mine, R, and things got weird. J knows R, but has never mentioned that all while SC was hanging out with R she was messing around with him too.

Well, SC & J were out at a bar and SC introduced a "friend" - FYI, another girl he's messing around with on the side and made it clear to J that he wasn't ready to settle down. She did the right thing and told him she needed to step back, he got offended and left her at the bar. Thank God I was there, because I drove her back.

I'm not sure why, but J then continued to mess around with SC and we got the 1/2 brained scheme to make up a dude to just give him a piece of his own medicine. Well, in natural fashion, it didn't go over well.

Fast forward to Tuesday, I had surgery which did not go well. Another round in biopsy land and found out that I have to have 3 more done, under sedation. A bit upset, I called J and said that I hoped she could drive me to & home from surgery and I couldn't wait for some girl time at 6:30 (we were supposed to meet up and see BG's band play later and she was, for once, going to drive, since I wasn't feeling up to it). Well, about 1/2 an hour later she calls saying that her and SC were going for a ride and they would meet up with me after 6:30. Pissed, I told her to just hang out with SC then, I'd go home. She called back and said she'd meet me at 6:30 with him. Well, they showed on his bike (so much for the ride) ... we had some dinner & drinks, I got stuck with the bill and then we headed out to the bar to see the band.

BG was setting up so I let him do his thing and we all played darts, in the mean time SC is being a dick. At one point I informed him that tonight wasn't actually about him - it was about me. This didn't stop him.

We went into the bar and got a table, I got a beer. CB showed up (turns out I invited him on Friday when I was a little drunk) and J turns to me to inform me that her & SC were fighting and needed to leave. I told her to let him leave, I'd drive her back, she insisted that they needed to leave. I told her this wasn't about them, tonight was about me. She apologized saying that she'd make it up to me and promptly left me sitting at the table.

I left shortly after, but was still incredibly pissed. I called SC & J, leaving them a similar message along these lines ...

I'm incredibly pissed at you right now. Tonight was not about SC & J, it was about a supposed friend that had surgery and got bad news. I don't understand how our friendship works. So I can see you guys, we go out every week and I pay because you're broke, when you fight, I talk to you in the middle of the night. I had surgery for godsake and you can't even hang around with me? This friendship is ridiculous. You're a shitty friend.

I promptly went home and deleted SC as my friend on myspace, juvenile - yes, but I was over our friendship.

Fast forward to the morning after and an array of text messages from J.

J: Look, I told you I was sorry before I even left last night. I feel awful. But I didn't have a choice whether or not to stay. If I did I would have. Again, I'm sorry."

MG: Actually you did...you chose not to stay. You know I would've drove you.

J: I didn't want you to. Last week was embarassing enough AND my purse and keys were in his bedroom.

J:I will give you the money friday, you know I had it last night, things just got out of control. Again I'm sorry ...

MG: It doesn't matter anyhow and I don't want the money ...

J: It does matter. It all does. UR one of my best friends and I love you. I should not have left and I did for various reasons. But I can't change that. I'm sorry

Well, that was just the start. R myspaced me in the morning that she noticed SC wasn't one of my friends and she hoped he didn't delete me because of her (he deleted her that day as well). I emailed her back that he deleted her because he thought she messed around with another friend of ours this weekend. She said no, the only person that she's been sleeping with is SC.

Wait. What? SC had told J and me, more so incinuated to J and me, that he had not slept with her. J had informed me that he had the HPV strain that gives you genital warts and, as a friend to her and because HPV has ruined my life, I needed to tell R. I side stepped and asked if they used a condom - turns out he insisted that they not because she was on the pill. I told her to get tested, he had genital warts. Okay, probably not smart but I would expect someone to tell me if the tables were turned.

After hanging out awhile, I called J, realizing sh*t was about to hit the fan big time. I left her a message, Listen, as your friend I will let you know that I went out with R tonight and there's somethings you should know. R & SC have been having sex, he insisted on them not using a condom. I told her about the STD, she also didn't sleep with X and, by the way, SC insisting she's psychotically text messaging and calling him - turns out he starts those conversations, I saw the call & text log.

Of course I haven't heard anything from her, nor do I intend to. In a way SC and her are perfect for eachother, but in another way I just know she's screwing up friendships and he'll end up screwing her - both figuratively and actually - and she'll have no one to turn too.

Fishing in a pond.

See September 12 post for why I'm talking about fish and ponds.

So I took up my real and dipped it into a new pond and the fish bit quiet rapidly. But then I got all excited and went to another pond, and that fish bite right away. Well the first fish grew legs (or balls for that matter) and walked over while fishing at the pond and now, presto, my pole is in too many ponds at one time.

Here's the run down. Fish #1 - or CB - and I had a great weekend, again. He has not called/emailed or anything since then.

So I toy with Fish #2 - or BG - which notoriously means that CB isn't far behind.

And then there's Fish #3 - or RS - who is way the hell in Madison.

And I may have dipped my toes into the water last night after the tailgate into pond 4 for another fish - just for fun (or JF).

So, I posted about Friday. I ended up sick on Saturday/Sunday this weekend, but it really didn't matter since no one called anyhow. On comes yesterday and our tailgate party.

I picked up #1 (as in the guy - not the fish) related the story to him to which he points out, "These are the days of MG's life." Nice, ha ha ha.

The boys were having fun yaking it up with the people at our party and I was talking to a friend that I've known for about 6 months. When I first saw him on our bowling leagues (I know, I know - another one), I wanted him. But my boss got him and we just became friends. He's since made out with NUMEROUS amounts of my friends, me not included. We kept joking about making out all night long and we may have kissed at the bar in Miller Park - but nothing serious.

Then came the after bar, which I was bored (driving - so not drinking) at so I turned to JF and said, "I'm bored - want to make out." 1/2 heartedly joking and 1/2 serious, because I was bored and everyone said he was a great kisser. So why not try? We disappeared for 20 minutes and made out like 8th graders - although, he did touch my boob (on the outside of my shirt of course) so he's gotten further in one night then CB in 2 months ... but I digress.

I got kind of bored with that as well. The kissing was good, but it was nothing like RS. So we went back upstairs. I pumped his ego a bit, "you're a pretty good kisser - I give you that." He replied, "Yeah -about that. You. Wow." To which I made a coy comment along the lines of a BJ and a wink and kept walking.

We left the bar shortly after. I got a text message on the way home, "Get home safe. You're a damn good kisser, just so you know." There was banter of me going over there but I opted to spend the night in my own bed instead.

Well today I sent pictures to everyone at the outing and he responded with "Thanks chickie. Had a great time last night." To which the banter included that we could do it again tonight, I'll be in his hood. After a bit of back and forth he ends up sending me this email ...

"Let's keep this between you and me. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, I just don't want any false perceptions about me any where. I'll do the same and not say anything either. Am I being weird here?"

WHAT? Brakes. Okay, that's weird. I replied that I agreed (because I do) because I didn't want CB or BG to find out about it either. Hey - I'm a dirty little secret again? Not so happy with that.

The Results Are In

Here's how today went.

CB never contacted me after yesterday, a little perterved I told BG that my client ditched me and I'd love for him to spend the evening with me.

BG met me at my friend's party, to which the birthday boy exclaimed that I had taken his place (he's in love right now) as "Big Daddy," as he's notorious for starting the evening with one date and ending with another. I said that we would see since CB hadn't even called back.

As usual, me and BG were having a good old time and we went to the event. It was nice of him to starve through it for me - it's not his cup of tea. As we went in, I spotted CB but ignored him looking for a seat in the packed house - until I felt a tap and he was behind me. Turns out he had saved some seats and BOTH BG and CB sat down on opposite sides of me.

I enjoyed the lecture, but BG didn't - or he sensed that I really liked CB and wanted to give me space. I wanted to attend the reception as did CB so BG went to the bar (are you following this?) and I went to the reception.

It was amazing tonight, the breeze was just enough to cuddle slightly in but still be outside. CB was amazed at my knowledge of art and classics and invited me to a big art showing in Chicago in November (that's right - 2 months out?) - which I said yes to (of course). We spent some time looking at the work at the reception hall and I noticed I missed 2 calls.

Turns out BG didn't like the bar and had my car - so he was about 3 blocks over. Then our mutual friend, N had called saying she was at the bar where my friend's party was and we should come out. I made no mention of CB, but convinced him to come out for one.

I walked into the bar with not 1 - but 2 - guys. Eek. I wanted BG to give me space, but he affirmed that he really wanted to be with me - double eek. N came up to me, declaring she needed to go to the bathroom - NOW and with me.

This is where she informed me she had just spoken with CB and he told her that he really likes me and wants to formally ask me out (ohh). Confused, I attended to both gentleman like a lady (and not a lady of the night).

BG left to meet friends and CB and I talked on the way home. He's adorable - damn it. Crap. BG left me a voicemail to please call when I got home or if I was going to the bar he was at.

In front of CB's place, he kissed me - and it was good. Maybe because of what N had said, or maybe because we were sitting. Either way, I didn't drive to Madison for a piece of a$$.

I called BG and made plans for Wednesday when my friend JL is in town and informed him I was home.

That's the results :)

A Conundrum.

There is an event tonight that I really want to go to, lacking a social contact for it and not hearing it mentioned by my peers, I asked if BG would like to attend, to which he said yes. We planned dinner, the event and a birthday party for a friend.

After not hearing from CB for almost a week, I gave up and thought this to be a steadfast plan. Thought it was.

I got an email yesterday morning from CB explaining his delay in contact - and inviting me to attend an event Friday (tonight) that he would be attending. Hmmm. It's the same event! Being incredibly shy, I knew that if I told him that I was going with BG (who he knows) he would never ask me out again. So I tried to think it through.

Even though he's not the best at this whole dating thing, I still for some reason like him so I opted to tell BG that I had to go with a client (technically not a lie - CB is a client of my company). He thought it to be no big deal and said he was going to go with a friend any how ...

So now they are both going. Hopefully CB isn't BG's friend, wouldn't that make for a funny story where I don't come out of my room for 2 weeks.

In the meantime, CB hasn't responded to my response. Hello, it's Friday. What time are we going, where are we meeting? Geez. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp kiddo! So I'm apt to just go with BG anyway and screw this whole deal.

The return of Karaoke Tuesdays - And my 215th post!

I introduced J to karaoke Tuesdays - it's been over a year since my normal stink but Kurt let us sing a ton - she's hooked! As I mentioned, it doesn't matter how you sing as long as you sing fun songs - well, hey, J has a great voice so screw that rule for her!

We had a blast. It momentarily got my mind off CB and if I screwed it up. It's one of those things when you just wished you knew. But past is past, and he has warn on my patience so it's time to fish damn it!

What the?

I almost wonder if CB might be a reader of this blog. No phone call or email since our weekend and it's been beyond the Swinger's 3 day rule. I guess it was a good thing I went to see RS, at least I wasn't hanging on the moment with him - instead I was just fantasizing about how hot the kissing was. The, me-on-my-tippy-toes, just above his mouth, struggling to unzip my top and kiss him kiss. Yup. I've got a smile on my face.

So the few people that know what happened have not been happy with my choices. D is the only one supportive, which of course, by our rules she has to be and also re-incinuates that 220 miles between us still makes her the only one that knows me best. A lot of comments have been made along the lines of "why?" and all I can say is that I'm confused.

I have not really liked anyone ever, but here I like CB even though there is no explanation to why I do or would. He is not complimentative, he is not open, he is not overt. He is him and I like that. He's nervous around me, which I take as a compliment, he and I can talk which I tolerate as openess, and I'm such of an extrovert that his introvertive nature is welcome. He is very good looking. He is nice. He's just so different then anyone else. But whatever we have here is testing my patience.

In previous relationships, it's been based off of lust. Passionate kissing, man handling, late nights of drunken debauchery. I'm a generation Y person, I want something immediately. Our first kiss was already 7 weeks ago and we've only kissed twice since. By now I've gotten laid or he's at least touched my boob on the outside of my shirt. Not that this isn't welcome, it just is something new.

And then there is RS, who I immediately get naked with the moment I see him. The relationship is lust-induced, yet we have great conversation and he's fabulous to sleep next too. Granted, had my patience not wained when I met him 3+ years ago, I could have maybe been his girlfriend still to this day. I guess maybe that's the lesson to learn in all of this.

RS appeared the same as CB at the time I meant him. Extremely good looking, shy, nervous and he doesn't drink. When we finally kissed it was two years of built up sexual tension that exploded against the wall of his door way. Maybe that's what I should be holding out for with CB.

But now it seems that my patience was amiss or is completely wained to the point where I don't consider CB to be a prospect.

As #1 pointed out last night on the phone, "If you're at a fishing hole and you've got your pole and all the right bait and the damn fish doesn't bite - shouldn't you just go to the pond right next to it?"

So now I toy with the idea of the pond next to the one I've been sitting at for the last couple of months. The pond down about three roads and to the right. The pond where BG is waiting.

There's a house party his band is playing at (I know, I know, another band guy - eek) Saturday and I think I will go. Since this fish still isn't biting, might as well see if I can get one that will (and perhaps a little nibble on the ear lobe or the neck wouldn't be so bad).

Not Posting

I've been writing, but blogger hasn't been publishing - so if this goes through, it'll be a long one!

Where was I?

I was actually in Vegas over labor day weekend, partying it up with my mom and gambling 18 hours a day. We usually don't get too capped, but this trip I actually ended up puking from drinking. I guess I might be a party girl after all.

On the boy front ...

My mom has the best husband. While we were out of town he called to say that he missed her and hoped she was having fun. It actually made me kind of mad because no one was doing the same for me. I came to the realization that I actually want a boyfriend and it was time to change my ways and start behaving like I wanted a boyfriend.

Then I came back in town. You know what's weird about Vegas? My life stopped for 5 days. No networking events, email checking, call taking, etc. I just got up, went to the casino and gambled and drank. I never checked my watch - because there was no point. Our plane landed late on Wednesday and it was back to the same routine. Got home, jumped in the shower, went to a meeting, met my boss out to talk biz. Get up the next day and repeat.

I got back to work on Thursday, and there was an email from CB asking how my Vegas trip was. I thought to myself that he actually cared enough to ask and that was a pretty good sign. RS never even asked. Neither did BG, but couldn't blame him because I have been blowing him off.

CB and I finally went on a date Friday. Can't say there was fireworks. I was pissed. E had said she was proud of me for making that decision and all you had to do was ask the universe and you'd receive. I went to J's house and told her "F*ck the Universe." He had invited me out on Saturday to a big event and I thought I'd give it one more try.

Saturday came and it was a client's birthday party - so off I went to drink with J as my date because #1, of course, bailed last minute. Then we had another party to go to. Then we went to the event. CB was there and very attentive, we actually went out with his friends and had a blast. He kissed me in public, granted he was tipsy, and it was just a peck. I saw his new place and it was 1:00. Nothing happened, but I saw potential.

But not enough potential to not drive to see RS at 1:00 in the morning. I got to his house around 2:30 and we immediately started making out and ripping off each other's clothing. It was the hottest kissing ever. He's around my height and I stood on my tippy toes which made me a bit taller and kissed him from above his head. There was just a lot of craving going on, we hadn't seen eachother in about two weeks and it was intense, passionate. The thing that lacks for CB. We had crazy sex until 5:30 in the morning. I ended up falling asleep in his arms until 10am. Oops. That's a big no-no for the rules, so I snuck out and headed home with the worst headache.

I called J on the way back who wondered why I would have such a good time with CB and then turn around and go to RS. I don't have an explanation. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm not happy with the pace, maybe because I'm afraid. Not sure, it just happened. I figure there's no commitment, so it's not bad yet and maybe I just need to get this out of my system.