Monday, October 20, 2008

Shouldn't I know?

I'm on the verge of 28 - shouldn't I know what I want out of life? Love, marriage, kids. I have no perception, I have teeter-totting emotions. One day, I see a little baby in a stroller and the doting parents and I think - That's what I want. Then there's a screaming child and other rug rats running around and I think the BF should get a vasectomy. I have no want to be stuck in a marriage, but the sight of a wedding dress makes me swoon and when looking at wedding pictures I think that I want that happy day.

But yesterday, in a moment of pure talking, I posed the question to the BF - who said he didn't want marriage or kids.

And then I didn't know what to say. I should know really what I want, but in this sense I have no option. Stay and never have the kids that I don't know I want. Stay and never have the photos of a happy day.

I love him insanely - but if you're that in love, shouldn't you know what you want your end result to be?

1 comment:

MD said...

Come on MG, I think you've always known that the BF didn't want anymore kids nor marriage. But you love him despite this, so perhaps you're subconsciously ok with not having either of those.

Or perhaps, love ain't perfect.