You can't tell me God doesn't exist.

It's Saturday morning and I'm dogsitting in Whitefish Bay. It's 8:00 when I get up so I just throw on my jeans to make it to my 8:45 Blood Donation appointment. I take the dog out, promising a walk when I get back, I pat him on the head. I kiss my Bumpkin good-bye and head out into the perfect fall day.

I got to the center and they processed me right away. I was relieved when my iron count came back at 41. I gave my blood, drank my OJ and ate a cookie. Then I left. I got on the express way, starting feeling light headed, went to pull over to the right.

The next thing I know someone is grabbing my face yelling at me and asking me if I'm okay. I panic, my vision is blurred, I try over and over to open the door. The man reaches his hand in through the window and a woman is on the passenger side telling me to breath and asking if I'm okay, I tell her no - I just gave blood. I look at the man, "Did I hit you?"

"No, you didn't hit anyone. But you took out two cement walls."

"What?" I'm crying, shaking, not able to breath.

They tell me not to move. I wait, I have no idea what's going on. Then I look around and notice my windshield is shattered, the airbags have gone off, the steering wheel is in my lap, the seats are up. I answer question after question, people searching for what happened and I'm crying because I don't know. I get out of the car, refusing the long board. I remember walking to the ambulance and thinking, "Okay, it's not that bad."

I got to the hospital and my mom and step dad are there. They're x-raying me, I'm assuring them that it's just a bump on my knee. I'm still light headed. My neck hurts just a bit.

We leave the hospital 4 hours later. I'm fine. We go to the tow yard to survey the damage and get my laptop. I'm with my mom. I see the car and go white.

There's no sides left, the engine is moved up, the tires are flat, the rims broken. The windshield is shattered, the doors don't open. I collapse. I come to. My mom's eyes are welted. I look at her, "I think I should be dead." She just shakes her head and hugs me. "This is proof you're living a good life - it's karma." She handles the issues with the tow truck, I have to run outside because I'm light headed again. We get in the car and make little chit-chat, trying to ignore the issues when I started freaking out.

"Do you want me to pull over?"

"No. Yes. Now."

I get out of the car just in time to throw up the contents of my stomach. I fall to the ground in the fetal position weeping. The cold rail on the side of the road feels good with my head rested on it.

"You need to eat."

Now she's crying. We get back in the car. She calls my friend who comes over to help take care of Trevor. She hugs me, "You need to slow down huney. You really do."

I take a bath. It's warm. My head is light and my vision is blurry. I close my eyes. There's a pound on the door when I realize my head is under the water, I cough and spit out water. It's my sister, she just wanted to know if I was okay. I laid down for a bit. I still don't feel well.

By 8:00pm I'm finally feeling a bit better. My boss picks me up, I'm going to use his sister's truck. The BF and his kid are waiting for me so we can watch Transformers. I walk in and they're cuddled on the couch. I sit on the opposite couch in my ugly NE sweatshirt and fall in and out of consciousness. After the movie he sits by me. "I'm glad you're okay." He falls asleep in my lap.