Monday, November 19, 2007

Upgrade.



I upgraded on Saturday. To a 2004 Reflex Silver, 4 Door, Sun/Moonroof, leather toting, heated seat, Jetta. All by myself.

And I've realized that there are some other upgrades that are going to happen in the next few weeks. First of all, I'm in the mood for a little cut and color-sexy feeling do. And some new clothes that actually fit.

Then there's the BF. I've been wondering lately if I just have my standards too high, if I'm expecting too much. If I'm caught up in the world of romantic movies, expecting at any moment for him to be outside my window with a boombox screaming my name and actually tell me that he loves me. But then I realized it doesn't matter if that's my standard - because maybe there will be someone out there that thinks I'm the best. That thinks I'm beautiful. That wants to kiss me, make out with me, hold me, to parade me around like he's the luckiest guy on the planet. It turns out that that person isn't the BF. I don't think he's even ever told me I was pretty, I looked nice. I'm not sure if leaving the relationship is an "upgrade" perhaps since being single all over again doesn't seem like a higher life.

But it's not a downgrade either.

3 comments:

MD said...

Good for you. You should never "settle." Even if you have high standards, keep looking. You shouldn't have to convince yourself you should be happy.

Have you talked to the BF about these feelings?

BZ said...

Congrats on the car, girl!!!

And if you're having second thoughts this soon into things - like Beenie Man says, "Let him go!"

Not that misery loves company or anything. LOL But, I'm back on my mission of upgrading, my damned self.

*HUGGS*

Anonymous said...

leave him. NOW. someone better is out there, i know it.

myspace.com/hellowhatsthis333