Think about it. 50 years ago men did more than a handful of things to woo the ladies they liked - take this for instance: http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=683367, or just look at my grandparents. With shoe boxes still filled with love letters, trinket jewelry bought on a budget and pressed flowers all show the romance of courting. My grandpa still tells my Grandma that he loves her everyday, holds her hand - even if they're just on the couch, tells her that she is by far the most beautiful woman in the world.
30 years ago there was a slight change - still the letters and flowers, the romantic dates and what not. Romance existed in the ideal sense of wanting to start a family and settle down in your early 20s, if not sooner. There were late night dinners with a dress code, dancing under the stars, sneaking away for kissing.
Even 20 years ago there was a concerted effort to be romantic still.
But in today's world it seems like there's just no time to be romantic. We're so concerned with getting things done and fit in to our technology driven day that we forget what Hollywood tells us still exists. No one picks you up anymore because you're too busy to go home - you'll just meet out somewhere instead ... if you even go out. And if you do, you're struggling with balancing your moment of free time with the person you care about and your friends, so you're out to dinner or drinks with people and not yourselves.
Flowers are only given when there's a good chance that someone did something wrong. Not just because. Maybe it's in an effort to be green that we don't stop and just pick a single stem or a bouquet because it'll just die, or because we forget that it's a fragrant reminder that someone cares. Maybe it's just because it takes too much time to stop and pick one on the side of the road or go to the grocery store and balance it with our frozen meals. Love letters are null and void and replaced perhaps with text messages, an abbreviated message of temporary satisfaction that will not be stored in a shoebox for the grand kids. And Love, if said at all, is replaced with "Luv" and you with "yah" - not so sure why, but it just is.
Does the first kiss on the doorstep still exist? The walk to the car? The little words like, "I don't want you to go" or "I miss you." Will there really be anyone outside my window with a boom box declaring that they want to be with me? Will I come to work and find a bouquet of lilies, because they're my favorite) declaring "just because" or "can't wait to see you" or "thanks for last night?" Not likely, because romance may only exist on the flickering big screen - or better yet, for $3.99 bought right off your cable box, because you also don't have to take someone to the movies anymore.
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19 comments:
You know me...those things are a must. If a guy doesn't get the door, I stand and wait until he gets the hint. By the way, I am taking OB guy to my X-mas party on the 6th. Maybe FWB will pay off that night.
I like the new you...definitely an upgrade!
From a guy's point of view, I like to open doors to be polite, I DO NOT like to do it when it's expected. I think it's at that point that women look bad with outdated expectations. If men are expected to open every single door for women, then women should be baking and cooking in the kitchen 24/7.
I guess, in a way its not that prevalent compared to the ancient times, but now and again, some guys still give love and romance flowers to their significant others.
The guys you go out with aren't into romance, and that's your fault for picking them.
I'm glad you decided it was time for an upgrade! :) Changing your hairstyle always helps.
MD - the sad part is I DO cook and bake for him all the time. #1 has said that he gets away with stuff because I'm too lenient. But not anymore!
Way to go girl!
TELL IT!!!
That's why I cleaned the slate this go-round. I'm not accepting half-assed efforts any more.
Time to upgrade.
Remember? NO MORE DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS!
Romance does exist and it depends on the guy. I went out with a guy for 4 years. Throughout the whole time, he was really sweet, he did miss me when i wasnt there, he did love me, and occassionally did really nice things for me cos he wanted to make me happy.
They do exist
i am a young man, 21, and i just read this today, december of 2008, and i must say, i am extremly depressed that the world has become the way it is. being a young person (especially a guy) trying to meet someone is hard enough (seriously, its become a very paranoid world where you cant just go up to someone unless your at a scummy bar or club) but being romantic is frowned upon. i am the most hopless romantic i know becaus ei believe in those old fashioned values. but living in a world where scum is put on a pedastal and being a jerk is considered hot or cool, yeah, its hard for romantics like me. i totally understand what the author is saying, and its a shame. if anyone would like to check me out, my myspace is myspace.com/hellowhatsthis333
take care!
believe me, romance aint dead.. its just a fact that romance is became a clyche! and believe me, finding girls on the streets, work, club or whatever aint that hard, you just need to love "the first steps" if you do, you have a very big chance on having a great conversation :) and believe me, dont come up with those cliche words, be original, yourself! show her that you are one of a kind!
things like that can be already very romance (sorry for my english im a dutchy)
these first touches you need to love, the first kiss all of em, they still great!
but bringing flowers with you on a date its fun, maybe a bit romance but no.. i dont do em! bring someting personal! such as a CD of a band she really likes stuff like that! that IS romance for me!
or laying on the grass in the summer with her music. walking down the streets at night hand in hand! or just sitting too eachother and having a silence moment.. i love em all!
romance aint dead, you just need to love the small things!
greeting for a dutch boy of 19 ;)
You said "50 years ago men did more than a handful of things to woo the ladies"... because 50 years ago there were more ladies in the world. Its typical hypocrisy to berate men for losing the romance when women have themselves by and large in this modern society debased the notion of romance by engaging in acts of frivolous random unattached sex with strangers. Where is the romance in that? I am a man and I am a romantic and to the remaining ladies in the world I say don't lose faith we are still here and to those other woman complaining out there I say if its romance you are looking for you wouldn't find it notching up marks on your bed post.
I'm a 30 year old male, and I have to say that I've travelled the world, and I have to say that woman and men these days are completely changed. It's very unbelivable how the world has changed, men and woman these days are nothing but a bunch of whores, and what they say if you are a nice guy you end up last, well I say if you are a nice guy you end up alone. I have a few friends that are a bit shy, and for them they are doomed, I say they are not the assholes that picks up woman left and right, so I'm going to be surprised how the next few generation of people are going to be, there won't be any more good role models left in this world anymore. But I hope by luck, I can meet this one special woman that deservers to be treated better.
Unfortunately I have to agree that romance is dead.
I live in a big city and the singles scene here is all about having one nighters. No one is even the slightest bit interest in having a relationship, dating or even having standard friendships. They may be interested in friends with benefits if anything just as long as they don't have to actually spend any time with you outside of the bedroom.
I have been trying to go on traditional dates for the last four years. People are extremely rude to me about it calling me a prude for not putting out on the first night. After that I won't here back from them as they didn't get any sex from this prude.
I am perfectly polite and friendly and that seems not to be good enough for people today. They would prefer a sexual pervert to take them to a dark alley way.
This sounds like something I am trying to find an answer to:
http://ladytalktome.blogspot.com/2010/03/romance.html
Romance is dead. Women have unrealistically high expectations of men. The man is expected to make all the gestures - bring flowers, open car doors, entertain/amuse his date and feed her. If he does all this, he has a chance at ... what, exactly? He is a doormat for someone who feels absolutely no obligation to him. Fifty years back, a guy that did those things was on his way to finding a wife. Now, he's lucky if she will pick up the occasional tab. Unless a woman's clock is ticking, that man is a tool for her use and nothing more. Believe me - the women over forty have almost no interest in the average guy. They are too good to even answer emails from prospective dates. Along with romance, basic courtesy died as well. Good luck guys, you'll need it.
Meh.. maybe romance used to be the way to a womans heart, money, muscles and a big w.. are what they want now, quit blaming us men, if the nice romantic guys got constant bj's instead of the 'badboys' we would all be opening doors and sending flowers trust me.
From an old guy of 52... I wonder the same. It is not only women who miss these things. I feel I am defunct... a dying breed who's time has past and longs for a time when it was fashionable to woo a woman... I wish I were born 20 years sooner... perhaps I would be sitting on the couch telling my wife that she is indeed the most beautiful woman I have ever, or will evr see....
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