I want Hollywood!

I know it's senseless, and perhaps Hollywood isn't doing us any favors by portraying these men that would do anything for their ladies, but lately I can't help but really want Hollywood.

It all started with the accident on Saturday morning. I texted the BF that I was in an accident and on my way to the hospital at 9:32. At 12:45 he finally called back, but was I was in the hospital still so no cell phone. He left a message, "Just me, seeing how you are - uh, call me back."

I did at 2:00, fresh from the trauma of the salvage yard and in tears I told him I hit 2 cement walls. "Well, are you okay?" he said. I replied "Couple bumps and bruises but I'm alive ..." His response? "Okay, well are you still coming over tonight?" I told him I'd see, obviously I had no vehicle.

He called at 8:00 and I told him I was waiting for Jim to pick me up and I'd be over. About 9:00 I arrived at his house and he hugged me. NG and his girl, as well as the BF's kid asked if I was okay. He didn't. He didn't even sit next to me. After the kid went to bed, he came by, I cuddled into his side and he fell asleep. Promptly kicking me out at 2am.

On Sunday I dropped off the cookies I baked for him early last week and said I couldn't stay long, I played legos and Star Wars with his son and he turned to me and said "I thought you had to leave. You should go home and take a nap." So I gathered my things, "We are going bowling - right?" he asked. I said I'd be there, hoping at any minute he'd run up and swing me around and yell out to the world, "I'm so glad you're okay!" But instead I got into my vehicle with not so much as a peck on the cheek.

We bowled. I wasn't happy. We said barely any words to each other except for the occasional high 5 for knocking down pins. At the end of the night the drinks made us a little more tipsy and we kissed. I also MAY have started blowing him in the parking lot outside of the truck ... maybe. I blame that action on the fact that he asked for sex and even though I told him my body was bruised and ugly, he shrugged and said he didn't care (Hollywood answer is NOT - I don't care, it's "you're beautiful, what are you talking about" by the way). So we had sex, and of course, an ungodly long session that made me use many of my bruised up parts. And when we were done? He told me to "get back to the dog - and lock the door on your way out."

Talk about feeling more like a hooker than a girlfriend.

On Monday he called to ask what I was making for dinner. I ended up buying Chinese. On Tuesday he was supposed to come over, though due to his lack of interest in my well-being, I drank a bit too much and decided to pass out early (my one and only night of sleep over 2 hours). On Wednesday I brought him lunch. We didn't even talk while we ate. At the end of the time, I stood on his porch and kissed him, praying for his baby blues to search my soul, but to my dismay - nada.

I can't help that I want Hollywood. The guy that would have rushed to the hospital or at the very least, called non-stop until I picked up the phone. The guy that would have sent flowers or at least offered to make me dinner - scratch that, a guy that would bring out an ice pack or hand you some asprin with out asking. I want the guy that would offer to come to ME since I almost died. That would hold me when he saw me. That would whisper he was glad I was okay, or even just hold me so tight that I would know. The guy that would care that I haven't slept in almost a week and offer his shoulder for comfort during a movie.

The only thing is trying to fathom if this is a real guy or if this is Hollywood? I'm not sure anymore ...