She, being me, didn't. The answer to all questions on your mind.
I thought I might have, but under the terms of intoxication - I don't think I did. I remember bringing up the fact that, once again, he was active on Match within 24 hours and if he didn't want to be in a monogamous relationship - by all means, he didn't have to be.
Then I went home and puked. At first I thought it was the alcohol, by all means the first one may have been, but puking non-stop at 11am told me different. I had the flu. It had just gone around my family and was precisely 24 hours according to them.
I couldn't buck it up, I was a mess. Water, puke. Gatorade, puke. Juice, puke. Soup, puke. Crackers, puke. 24 hours straight, nothing would be kept down. I shivered in my apartment with the heat cranked to 85 degrees, 2 shirts, 2 sweatpants, 2 blankets and one very hot bumpkin. When the phone rang at 7:00pm, I was in desperate search of companionship or at least a gun. His voice was calm and collected on the other line, mine? Not so much. I pushed away tears as I interrupted our call twice because I had to puke, again. He offered a heating blanket and soup, I turned him down. What I really wanted was him, but he had the kid and I didn't want to get them sick. He told me to feel better by tomorrow, I had to help with appetizers.
It wasn't until the vomiting subsided at around 10pm that I questioned what had just happened - didn't I just break up with him? I checked Nic's link - his profile didn't exist anymore on Match. Maybe I negotiated that? Either way, I figured I'd smile through Thanksgiving and call it a day.
I arrived at 10am to help with appetizers. We went over to his ex-wife's mom's for a late Thanksgiving. It was a lovely time. He kissed me and cuddled me in front of them. He was concerned about my stomach at dinner. We went bowling, we went back to his house, and when the drinking was too much for our standard Sunday night, he begged me to sleep over simply because "I love sleeping next to you."
And the sex this morning was good.
In thinking about things I was wondering who was making what decisions. 1/2 my friends hate him, 1/2 of them love him. The 1/2 that hate are loud mouths about it, begging me at every corner to break up with him. The 1/2 that don't beg me to listen to my heart.
But my heart's confused :(
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1 comment:
Your friends are a good subjective way to look at a situation, but ultimately it's your decision. They want what's best for you, but only you know 100 % what you're getting from this and what he's giving.
I think you should have a great big conversation with him about his whole Jeckyll and Hyde routine. It SOUNDS like he's really nice and sweet to you when he wants something and really distant at other times.
He should know explicitly what you expect from him.
Again, do what you want to do!
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