Hello Neighbor.

My ex-fiance is my new neighbor. Which sucks.

Well, he's not really my neighbor, but lives somewhere in my hood. I've seen him every day for the last 3 weeks.

I can't help but think about his last words to me when we finally broke things off ...

"You've lost your chance. You'll never be married, you'll never have kids, I was your chance at happiness. You're sure you want to be alone forever? Then fine."

I put it off to a broken heart, but I'm turning 27 in just a couple weeks and I can't help but wonder what was the truth in the matter. Especially when dealing with the BF.

On Sunday he didn't even invite me over for the game. I still took the kid to see "Golden Compass" - a $30 expenditure, by the way, only to have the kid get pissed because I only let him play arcade games for 20 minutes.

He invited me to dinner, but I had plans with R since I had been watching her kitty since Thursday. I told him I'd be at the Palomino and he came to join us for a couple drinks. It was awkward to say the least - I so badly wanted him to grab me and kiss me, but he barely said one word and I was empty for feelings for the total rejection all weekend.

He called at 10:30 and said that "perhaps I'll surprise you and you'll wake up next to me" - so when it was 2:00 in the morning I dropped him a text saying, "New rule, no more joking about coming over." I rolled over and clung to my pillow, I couldn't help but think that if he had done that one tiny gesture things would have been different. And to play my own devil's advocate - I realized that I can't hope for him to do any of these things ever.

He texted me at 6:30 that he was sorry and wished me a good day.

And then I saw the ex as I left. I stopped a bit short of the stop sign and for a moment gave into the truth in his prophecy. I also remembered that I am the only one that can control my future.