Exit Stage Right.

Out of the friends that I have that have met CB, there was one still hanging on - JF. Last night JF, my friend M, CB and I went out for a drink at one of the local bars by my house (my new house, that I move into THIS weekend! Eeeee! Exciting!) and enjoyed a couple adult beverages.

When it came down to conversation, CB didn't participate. In fact, he didn't seem comfortable at all. I cozied up, he stayed straight in his chair with his arms crossed. This morning I found out the last remaining bandwagoner has fallen off.

I got this tidbit of advice ...

I think you should probably move on. I hope you don't mind my two cents here, but you two are on opposite sides of the universe when it comes to what you want, physically, in a relationship. As we've discussed at length, that is very important. Again, there's really nothing wrong with being the way he is, it's just not what you want. I'm sure he is perfect for someone out there, hell many girls out there, but certainly not you. It does suck, because he is a really nice guy and he isn't shitty to you, but I think you would be consistently frustrated with him if this continues and, really, is that worth it?

I've stayed out of the Pro-CB spotlight and JF's right, it's not worth it. Because he doesn't make me feel wanted, I seek it in other places. Now I realize I'm justifying seemingly cheating ways on fabrication; however, let me reiterate that we actually aren't boyfriend and girlfriend, haven't done more than kiss, so I have definitely NOT cheated. And back to what I was saying, I obviously won't be faithful in a relationship if I don't get that, so it's better to cut ties now.

In the past I've put a lot of effort into "fixing" people and making a relationship last, and I've hung on because I put that time in and don't want to see my "project" fail - but it's time for a new leaf. He's guarded his heart too long and the horse is sick of chasing the carrot.

i've opted to go to Madison to get man-handled after work, straight up F*cked. I'm wearing my pink fuck me boots and my jacket - that's it. I have his college's sweatshirt to put on afterwards for round two. I'm so incredibly excited to feel his body on mine, feel his hands on my neck, feel him inside. Wow, 2:00 can't come fast enough - or cum, I guess I should say.

In moving news, this is it! This is the weekend! I've slowly been moving things over every day. This morning was the last long ride to work. I plan on going to Madison, fucking, coming home, packing and Saturday unpacking at the new place. I bought a beautiful, huge, work of art on gallery night that's starch black and white of a girl smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee to go above my couch - if I had a couch ...