Hauntings.

In honor of Halloween yesterday, this article's going to be slightly less amusing and more so of how things in the past can haunt you for the rest of your life.

I'm almost positive all of us would go back and rewind the clock to take back something we did or said. For me, it's several times.

I have come to the understanding that what happened in my past will forever haunt my future. The first guy I was with, I was also engaged to. For the rest of my life, "I got engaged!" will be followed by "Again?" There won't be that anticipation of what the perfect ring would look like, because I already owned it. Also, this relationship has made me critical of myself and resistant to the "good guy."

I really believe that my past relationships have completely made me reluctant to the nice guy routine. At one point I was dating a semi-decent guy that actually took an interest in me and listened. At one point I had mentioned my favorite flowers were lilies and days later, that my favorite color was pink. He custom ordered lillies in pink and would bring them to my house for our dates. This red flagged me as bad behavior - when it should have been, "This is the way it should be."

Then of course, there is the whole story with #3, who is now untouchable because of my past decision to date his friend.

All the past hauntings are not necessarily bad (at least not while I'm single). Occassionally I'll be in the shower and the water will hit the small of my back or my neck, just so much so to flash me back to a passionate night. This haunting has helped make for many nights of fulfilling my own guilty pleasures and I will blame my latest two broken vibrators specifically to those events.

No matter how many times we try to convince ourselves that the past doesn't really matter - it will always be a factor in the haunting of our futures - for good or bad.