Netscape posted an article today that blue-eyed men prefer blue-eyed women, because, upon pro-creation if the baby's eyes are anything but blue it shows that the female partner has cheated on them. Read more here ... http://channels.isp.netscape.com/whatsnew/recent.jsp?story=20071230-0630&floc=NI-ntk3
This opened the office up for a whole discussion on cheating hearts and me to go research crazy. Before I shock you with these stats let me explain my background with cheating: I haven't done it. Every guy I've been with has. I blame the first on being young, we weren't in love and we were still going through motions. In honesty we could've had this facade relationship but it wasn't passionate and we'd be those open marriage people that when home to their best friend (sound familiar MD?). Regardless, I was 21 and ended it. The second relationship was what I perceived as a relationship, fresh out of the gate of the marriage situation. There's nothing like lying in bed, rain pouring at your windows, your naked bodies catorted over each other having just knocked boots four times and him saying, "I think I'm in love with my girlfriend Amy." Newsflash, we just fucked - you're not in love. In a series of events and men after, I was once again the other woman with CW, #1 started seeing a younger woman 9 months into our relationship, and then Guitar Guy - well, there was a whole hell swarmed up in the "I'm single when I'm playing" attitude.
Let me also add that the BF doesn't have a good record under his belt and neither does his ex.
So here's the stats ....
20% of married men engage in multiple affairs during their marriage, 16% of women do - these are physical affairs.
55% of men, 48% of women have engaged in emotional affairs that may or may not result in sex.
Of the people engaged in physical affairs, 92% of their marriages fail due to the cheating.
Of those who remarry, 85% will cheat on their spouses or significant others again.
Scary right? I don't get cheating, because if you do it - then you're obviously not happy, it doesn't matter if your drunk or lonely - the person your with that would qualify your reaction as cheating isn't working with you to make it work. In that case, why don't you just leave? And to be a hypocrite myself from my last debacle of a relationship, if you know they're cheating - they'll repeat, so just leave.
It's one of those never ending questions that go about the day.
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5 comments:
MG, Are you in someway doubting his faithfulness to you?? It sounds like your intuition is telling you something not to ignore. Why do you think your BF will be faithful to you when he's cheated in the past in relationships?? I'm just curious to know your answer and reasoning. I hope not in your case with your BF but I believe past behavior predicts future behavior. I don't want you to look back in a year or two and wish things had turned out different with him.
I hate cheaters. I've never been FULLY cheated on (that I know of). The closest I've had is back in college when a girl I had gone out with a handful of times met up with a close friend of mine and made out with him. I haven't spoken to him since and although I eventually forgave her, I never saw her in the same romantic way I had previously. Cheating tells you about a person's character. However, I do believe people can change, but I don't give second chances.
I don't think he has, but because of history - it's always in the back of my head. He's gorgeous and I'm average. Even if he does in the future, I won't regret it. It took a very great person to melt the exterior I built up for 4 years after guitar guy. I live day-to-day, right now the days are pretty great!
I truly believe that the resaon people cheat is because they are lacking something in the relationship but are to scared to speak up and say something. Communication is so key. If you need your mate to ask you how your day was every night before you go to bed...tell them. That takes care of the emotional cheating. For God's sake don't fake orgasms. You are only screwing yourself. If you are having sex then you should be able to talk about it. To long winded but short and sweet...Talk, share you thoughts and feelings and most importantly LISTEN. Don't take it personally.
I've been cheated on by the guys I thought was the love of my life. We had been dating for almost 4 years when he decided to start a relationship with another woman. I agree that communication is a big part of it. He never told me he was unhappy. But, I completely understand your doubts and fear that your current BF would cheat. Once you've been cheated on, you build a wall around your heart to protect yourself for any more scars or damage. It takes a while to start trusting people again. I too have built up a wall..but i'm waiting for someone who can help me break it down. Finding that person has been proven difficult..so don't let your doubts or fears of the past ruin or get in the way of what you currently have now..cuz you never know when it will come again!
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