Nervous.

I'm incredibly nervous these days. I love my job, but they've just capped me at sales due to our impending move. Then my boss tells me that I'm in a negotiating position, if they lose me - the business fails. I would never negotiate, but it still makes me nervous. One of our instructors left and with out being able to give people dates for classes or even a for sure head nod that the class can happen, I'm screwed. A nervous wreck. I need to hit my 7% cap to make rent. I was almost a grown up. Crap.

Then there's the whole social life. Wow, I can't imagine the mess I'd be in if I ever actually took off my pants (well, except for RS).

Here's an indepth update ...

CW: F*ck CW. Dumb 36 year old a**. Read yesterday's post for more - won't even bother wasting my time to reiterate. F*cker.

CB: Told me he felt distant. I told him it wasn't a feeling. I put 5 months into something that isn't working, it was time to move on. That didn't go well. Plus I did it on email - I was "that" girl. Guess I had Sunday coming to me due to karma. He told me he'd try harder, I told him my patience had wained. The truth is I'm not even attracted to him anymore (I didn't say that though)

BG: Still friends, really trying not to give an opposite reaction.

RS: Unfortunately I'm getting too attached and struggling hardcore with seperation of sex and feelings. I'm not sure his stance and too afraid to ask. I'd rather have sex then nothing.

JF: Is getting right up there with #1 and our friendship, in fact #1 seems a bit threatened of his position. I love them both, I'm a lucky girl.