What not to do when you're in a relationship.

First things first, let me explain a bit of a dynamic. TW basically has no family, so when I'm referring to things it's usually his ex-wife's family. It's this odd dynamic, in one sense it's mandatory for him to maintain a good relationship for the sake of their son, in another, it's all the family he's known for the last 11 or so years - so they're close. I mean, when he moved out at 16, he moved in with them. At 23 his casual friendship with his ex turned into a boyfriend/girlfriend thing and they had a child. It's interesting.

From the outside perspective, you'd think that they just simply grew apart. They still joke and laugh, they still talk. So when my drunk-butt offered to help his ex clean up the next day after the party, I didn't think anything of it. When 11 rolled around and I was sober, I doubted I had made the right offer, but still called because I said I would.

I ended up heading over to her house, leaving behind a sleeping TW to do the right thing. At first it was just cleaning and that erupted into conversations, which ultimately led to his ex talking about what happened between them because she sincerely didn't want me to get hurt.

As it turns out there was a lot of cheating going on between the two of them for their entire relationship. First him, then her. This was the ultimate fall because her last affair was outed. She felt that he belittled her, didn't stand up for her, he beat her down into believing she was nothing. It was heart-wrenching. My stomach turned a couple times as she discussed finding out he was with her best friend, about a girl from Michigan when he went away from work, about too many things that already made my weariness of men be backed up.

And then there was the discussion of the ho-bag I referred to earlier. As it turns out, the family hated her - but they all met her. She was introduced as his girlfriend. She explained that her brother (who I met during the first go round) was telling the family that TW finally met a great girl - me. And on their son's birthday she was excited to meet me, but instead he brings this hooker. Her brother was irate, the girl was also crazy. I paused, "that's interesting."

"How so?"

"TW and I were supposed to go out after the kid's party. He told me there was too many kids around and that he couldn't." I looked down, putting out my cigarette. "He never called me after that - it took 6 weeks."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

I took a deep breath, and then his ex did the unlikely re-assuring thing. She told me that she's hoping he's different - and she can tell when he's around me that he is. She said that she's really proud of his behavior, that he stands up for me and he protects me - something he could never do for her in the 10 years they were together. And that he seems genuinely happy and that makes her happy. They had what they had, they went through their hate stage, and that's in the past.

Then I went to leave and she hugged me and said that she really hopes this works.

I pulled away, 1/2 wondering if I should run and the other 1/2 began thinking about my ex-fiance. My story is pretty much the same, so could it all be age and teenage stupidity? Or was this an omen?

I pulled into the gas station to get some juice and coffee for the poor hung over kids and arrived a few minutes later. I walked upstairs, he was in the shower. I put down the coffee.

"It's awful I'm sure." I said, smiling and handing over the cup. "But it's still a sweet gesture."

"You are sweet," he smiled back. Taking a sip, I thought he was going to spit it across the room. He dumped it down the drain. I laid down in his bed while he got ready, closing my eyes and realizing that it didn't matter what happened in the past, I was happy right now.


But she also said endearing things.