Anticipation is killing me.

Today is driving me nuts. So close to meeting that sales goal - and of course, not one lead going through. Sigh.

So as always, I am filling the time with blog-hopping. I've touch based on all my favorites - including a new one that I bumped into blog hopping last week and I'm stealing this post from Liz, who I hope doesn't mind. Check out her blog at mathspiffy.blogspot.com (or the link on the side).

Stuff on timers...

Things that should be on timers:

1. Baked goods in the oven.
2. Sporting events.
3. Certain TV shows.
4. The amount of time that any politician is allowed to speak.
5. The amount of time that any politician can stay in office.
6. George W. Bush.
7. Bad relationships.
8. Unhappy times.
9. Misery.
10. Jealousness.

Things that should not be on timers and suck when they are:

1. Exams.
2. Homework schedules.
3. Being young and healthy.
4. Fulfillment.
5. Fun.
6. Carefreeness.
7. Passion.
8. Incredible connections.
9. Bliss.
10. Wonderful Relationships.

Grape Martinis = Good Time

One of my favorite pubs has a Purple Haze martini - which in the past has led to a good old time and many great stories and memories. Due to becoming a "grown up" in the last two years, I haven't had the opportunity to venture there much and have gone through Purple Haze withdrawl ... until a couple weeks ago.

A place in downtown has recently become a regular hang out. On our first visit, I asked the bartender what she was really good at making and she mentioned a grape martini. It was their rendition of the Purple Haze, and it was fantastic. Every Thursday we pop by to hear a musician and I drink the lovely martinis. I've built up a bit of tolerance to them, but the lack of having substantial food (I ate sushi for lunch and some fruit snacks) led to me getting a little tipsy on the flavored drink. It was a great time. With that in mind - I've posted a new recipe on my martini blog which has been ignored in the past months. Please enjoy!

My First Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about Milwaukee Girl I like to read them - so why not join them? Here are 13 things that have gotten on my nerves this week: (1) Comments on people's blogs that are random and have nothing to do with what was posted. "Hey you should check out my blog on mortgage loans ..." Umm, that had nothing to do with being single, having sex, or living in Milwaukee and if you've actually read my blog, you'll realize I don't own a house or plan on buying one - but gee, thanks. (2) Friendship convenience. We are not friends if you don't return my phone calls. You only call when you need something, so I've deleted you from my phonebook. (3) Unreturned emails. I guess it's better than hurt feelings, but I hate the anticipation that I might make a sale, and you never email back. (4) "I need this." Congratulations, but I need to clean my house. I'm 25, sometimes I just want to relax at home. (5) Calories. Why aren't more delicious things covered in peanut butter and chocolate zero in calories? (6) The fact that Related is probably not coming back. I'm not jumping on the Bachelor/Bachelorette band wagon. No way. (7) The flu. Oh, I should've gotten the shot in fall. But I did lose 5 lbs! (8) My blogger friends that are MIA. It's not really on my nerves - I just miss you :( (9) Tom Cruise. You had a kid - millions of people do it every day. (10) Katie Holmes. Run, run, run. Your man is crazy and the whole world feels for you. Please run. (11) Myspace. I have a picture that I previously posted here of my leg and put it on myspace. I've gotten six solicitations to lick my toes. Need I say more? (12) Freeway drivers. You almost hit my car by merging into my lane, but then you slow down to 10 miles an hour. WTF? (13) Sleep. I need to get some, but just haven't had time! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood ...

I took a walk around the block to get my mind off of work. I am so close to making my target, but now I don't know if it'll happen.

Yesterday it was cold and rainy, today it is sunny and beautiful. The weather is insane in the good old state of Wisconsin!

Friends only Friends When ...

Have you ever noticed that some people are only in your life at their convenience? I have a good handful of friends that don't return calls unless they need something. In the recent six months, my phone calls have not been returned until I get a message that works as the follows:

"I just got kicked out of my place ..."
"I think I might be pregnant"
"I was looking for a new job and ..."
"Remember that guy you dated, well I want you to call him and hook us up"
"I was wondering if I could get someone who ..."

I have worked my butt off to make the contacts that I have over the last three years, granted if you need someone I probably have a resource that will give it to you for an affordable price, but still. I have also dated a handful of guys, so it might be damn near impossible to meet someone who I haven't kissed or flashed and I will always provide a bed or drink when something happens to you, but how much of a friend are you if you don't even answer my calls when I call you.

Messages I have left to the same people:

"I just quit my job."
"I just found out XY and Z are gay and I've been dating them"
"I can't have kids."
"I just really need a drink tonight"

And NONE, NONE of these have been returned!

Tonight I went to my old stomping grounds after a long day at work (hour wise, not energy wise) and on my second beer the bartender asked me about a comment I made to him when I left last time. I told him I was never coming back (which I frequented this place at least twice a week and dropped between $25 and $100 each time - depending on how long I was there), and he wanted to know why. I informed him that I am NOT an employee any more and half the staff doesn't know me - therefore, when we are having a conversation, I don't want to hear that they need comps or what not. I also informed him I'm sick of people who pretend to be my friend when I walk in, but then won't return my calls (him included). He jumped on the defensive, saying that he's just busy. Then in the next breath asked me for contacts for a business he's launching.

The bad thing is that I know him and I do miss our friendship, so I will give him those contacts but you just can't help to wonder if he'll ever be there when I need him.

A Confident Woman

Have you ever walked down a street and saw a gorgeous man with a not so gorgeous woman and wondered to yourself, "How the hell did that happen?" It was explained to me once upon a time ago by a friend - it's all in one word, confidence. A woman that thinks of herself as sexy will appear more sexy to a man than the most gorgeous woman who lacks it. Is that 100% true, I don't think so, but it deserves some merit.

With that said... I was not so happy with myself because I lacked to even book at $200 class yesterday. I wasn't feeling well and had slapped on some jeans and a t-shirt with my running jacket over the top. I even wore grandma panties. I wasn't feeling the confidence, so it's no wonder I didn't book anything.

Contemplating this when the alarm went off I decided I wouldn't dress to the nine for work - but I'd look like it was business casual and I put on my sexy professional underwear - a nice pin-stripped thong with a little lace and the bra that makes me look like I'm totting D's instead of C's.

The result? I've booked $2K this morning. Three more to go and I have comissions.

So does feeling sexy equate confidence? So far, so good.

Feeling much better

Today I am feeling much better, but not going to tempt fate by eating poorly - on the upside this is the kick that I needed to get back on the health track any how. I did yoga for awhile yesterday to help "center" myself - I forgot how much that stuff kicks your butt! I was more sweaty after 15 minutes of that then I was after 25 on the bike. Depending on how I'm feeling this afternoon, I might walk to my mom's for dinner - it's a mile and a half, if I could do that a couple of times a week that would save gas AND help me whip into shape a bit.

Looks like we're going to Vegas over Labor Day again - a bit soon for my taste, I'd like to actually have time to collect money and since the finances won't actually be in order until July that only gives me two months to collect. A second job is looking pretty nice right now, but most of the bars aren't hiring in the areas that I need them to be.

I didn't book any sales yesterday - I'm so close, but still so far away. This sucks. I've posted all over the place, I've made the calls, I've sent the emails but nada. Here's hoping that today will be a better one.

On a completely opposite note - it seems like everyone around me is indulging in Spring Flings right now. Any person that I did know that was remotely single seems to be hooking up with people, there's nothing like love in the air to make a single person uncomfortable. Half of me wonders why, I've been single for two years now, I should just be ignoring it. Everyone in my life seems to be trying to hook me up with someone as well - but they tend to fall through. My dad actually said he wanted me to go out with this guy - turns out the guy wasn't interested in me, but in my dad. This haunts me even when I'm not picking them up!

I'm getting antsy these days for a relationship, but then I remember the lack of time that I have to put into it so it would ultimately fail anyhow, so what's a girl to do? It's been awhile since I've even randomly made out with someone. I can't even remember the last time I took a nap with someone of the opposite sex - HELL, I haven't even go to the bars with my guy friends! There has been major lack of interaction with people with penises.

Well, guess instead of blogging I should be looking for sales ... I'm sure I'll be back for a noon-er!

Delays in posting ... it happened to me.

This weekend my aunt and uncle had it.
Late last week my grandma had it.
Early last week my brother had it.
The week before that my sister had it and it sent her to the hospital.

At first I thought I did too many Jell-O shots on Gallery Night.
On Sunday I thought it was from the cheap hot dog at the Brewers game.
But, I was done in. I have the flu.

I haven't had the chills in forever, but last night I was under three blankets freezing while sweating my a** off. It makes no sense. This morning was a bit better and I went into work, one bite of my spaghetti and I'm wishing I wouldn't have done it. This sucks.

Gallery Night

Tonight is Gallery Night in the Third Ward in downtown Milwaukee - lots of local artisits on display and area galleries are open late. It's also my boss's celebration, so tonight is going to be crazy insane. We made 378 Jell-O shots for tonight, not to mention ordered a bunch of kegs of beer from the Milwaukee Ale House (Louie's Demise included - yum, yum!) and wine. Ah, the life of artists!

In preperation for tonight, my boss and I went shopping at a little botique on Brady. I love boutiques, I really do but I don't like the pricing. I can't imagine purchasing a shirt for more than $30; however, the woman is a friend to my boss and I found some really cute stuff. Turns out I spent $200 on three things! Ouch! There went any cash that I was anticipating spending this week. Worst of all, two items are on layaway until pay day. Stupid, I know. One of the tops is incredibly cute, and I will be sporting it this evening.

The countdown is already going on in the office, 45 minutes until the intense process of looking like I belong in a gallery. Oye veh!

Last Night

Our first event for a new group that I'm a board member on was last night. For being a brand-spanking new club, still trying to figure out the ranks, we had 40 people show up to hear our Education Speaker. That was pretty darn good if you ask me! However, the club is traditionally for people 32 and younger - then all the people I used to work with at the agency showed up. That was a bit akward.

My favorite line of the night was, "So how are you doing? How is the new job?" Hoping that I would say it was awful when it was quite the contrary. "I love it. I'm doing great. I love the people and I love the format." Smile. Walk away. It was like salt in their wounds, priceless i tell you. Absolutely priceless.

Suing

Funny story. I'm at work hem-hawing about how I need to get more sales. Joking with everyone at work when the phone rings. It's a lawyer. My old employer is being sued and I happened to be managing the night the incident occurred (2002!) so I have to give a deposition. Funny thing is that I remember the incident to a T. She started reading a write up on the incident, I wrote it. So guess who is going to court?

I hate court. They owe me BIG.

Hmm...

I paid $40 for a trim that I could have got at Cost Cutters for $5.00 (it was Tuesday). That irks me. I wasn't thrilled with the new hairdresser, granted - my hair was a mess from the last cut and it was an atrocious eight weeks holding out for growth - but she really didn't do anything but bob-cut it. I had two options - pixie or bob. So that's the news on the hair ...

This week isn't as free flowing as the week before vacation at work. I've sold barely anything. I've sent out 45 emails telling people about classes and I've gotten no responses. I've posted on Craig's, on myspace, on everything - and nada. I'm at my end on how to keep booking. Sales so far are $15K, I need it to be around $60K and the month is already 1/2 over.

I talked to my dear friend the other night and it makes me sad for a number of reasons. (A) I wish she was here, I miss going out - but she's a mom now and even if she was it wouldn't be like old times. (B) She's lost sight of how incredibly beautiful she is and how she deserves the world. I love her husband to death, but he's a constant battle. A 30-something year old autonomously stuck in a 19 year old's personality. I wish he'd realize how lucky he was. And finally (C) I wish I could get down to see her, spend some time. Gas hit $3.09 today and she lives about 300 miles away. While I'm doing better financially, I'm not doing so well that I can take a $150 hit on gas.

As for the old love life, there's no news there. #1 is annoying the crap out of me and I keep going back to thinking that maybe our friendship isn't a good idea. He's notoriously jealous of when I do have any potential in my life, he's very in to him self and he's just - well I guess, he's just the same old guy he always was. It might be the time of year where we all get a little restless for our summertime love.

Time for a change.

Karma isn't the right word for it, but I use it anyway. When I need to change something, bring myself some different kind of luck, I change my hair. Just to recap my last year - I had long blonde hair. Then I had short blonde hair. Then I had medium blonde hair and dyed in light brown. Then I dyed it black. Then it faded to dark brown and I got it cut short. I've kept it medium-ish and brown for the last five or so months. The last time I got it cut my hairdresser was going through a crisis, just broke up with her boyfriend, was broke and signed up for Vegas, etc and she chop-jobbed me. I still gave her a $20 tip even though I hated it. The last eight weeks I've been hoping for the weird angles to grow out, but to my dismay it hasn't. I've hot ironed, I've curled, I've air dryed and I've blow dryed. I've switched shampoos, I've flopped conditioners, I've gone with out washing it - just hoping to look somewhat normal. The layers are still out of whack but I can't take much more of it. Not sure if it's a karma switch or just a switch anymore.

So I called to schedule an appointment yesterday, only to find my dear hairdresser gone! I thought of going back to my older hair dresser who gave me the short blonde, look-like-a-butch cut but opted to try a different hair dresser at the salon I've been going too.

Before signing up I asked how she felt about 80's hair - big, bushy, flipped Farrah Fawcett style. The receptionist assured me she didn't think much of it, so I signed up. There's two things I can't stand - the use of anything electric that buzzes used in conjunction with my head and big hair. No 80's and no pixie cuts here.

The new hairdresser releases me from the over-tipping that I commonly gave to the old one (cuts are $30 and I always gave $50) but I don't know her style. Her name is Zoey - so I'm assuming hip and trendy or hippy baby. I'm just hoping not my mom's age. The one scary moment is that I called yesterday at 3:30 and got in for today at 4:45. She could be new. Just not too new.

We'll see how the day pans out - 2 hours until the cut. I don't even know how to fix what I have. My instructions will be no electric razors, no big hair. Something professional, nothing too short. Something sexy, not slutty. Hmmm ... wonder what she'll come up with?

I'm also tired of the dark hair and toying with dye-ing it tonight as well.

Enough with hair. I think I've been lying to myself about not wanting a relationship. Post-vacation always does this too me. I always wish for the pick up at the airport, the flowers or at least the kiss. Granted my kitty head butted me in his "I missed you" fashion and my vibrator roared from not being used and got me off in a 5 minute display of affection. But there's something lacking.

#1 and I have been fighting. I get mad because he solicites me for sex and even when I consider it I have to go to his dirty apartment to do it. So I don't. Then he gets mad. He's horrible in bed, why would I even want to do it. Plus he bit my nipple off just a couple months ago (check out December posts for that story - it hurts to even think about it). He still does the same thing that he did when we were actually seeing eachother - it's always him. It's always go to him, do this for him, be there for him. I suggest doing something different and he wants to stay in. Then he tells me I blow him off and guilt trips me. I ignore him. I get over it in a week and apologize - the same damn circle. He's a great friend, don't get me wrong, but he's a little crazy (probably why I like him so much anyhow).

The sad thing is that he's the only boy in my life right now. The baby's daddy scared me from anything. I haven't met anyone when going out lately. I go out with friends and hang out with friends and go home by myself. I don't mind the out and the hanging, but I would like to not go home by myself or call someone when I'm done.

Back to reality

Vacation is over. no more being drunk at 10am and continuing until midnight. No more dingings and blinking lights. Just good old Milwaukee.

I don't have anything over adventerous to report from Vegas. I was there with my mom so no flirtations happened, just drinking and walking and gambling. But it was relaxing. It was interesting waking up with no pains in my shoulder from sleeping on my rock hard bed or feeling like I needed to return that phone call ASAP. No email checking, no online access in fact (I thought I would need to buy it at least one day - but ended up not needing too!), there was nothing I had to do any day for five days. It was great.

While I didn't hit it big, I did come back with money which made me happy since that's never happened before! Even after a drunken state left me dropping my wallet - only to have it discovered by my mom an hour later, sans the $100 cash in it (but all ID and check cards were present). At the end of the day I came back with new sunglasses, a watch and $150. Not too bad.

This weekend was hectic - I have yet to unpack and do laundry, hell I have yet to sleep a full night. There was a lot of running around to be done to prep for Easter. I had just spent a week with my mom and preceeded to spend the entire weekend with her as well, cleaning and making salads for our huge Easter dinner. My poor cat. He's been all alone for over a week.

This week isn't looking much better. Tonight, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and BOTH Saturday and Sunday are booked. I miss vacation.

It's official.

Vegas vacation is here. The plane leaves in three hours. I've been up since 2am. We've just started with the showers and what not. I'm pumped to relax for the week. Cash is in hand and I'm ready to leave! Starbucks coffee countdown ... two hours.

It's Friday with One Hour Left!

It is now 4:00 - which means one hour left of work then crazy running around. I'll have to buy a swimsuit, french nail manicure set and fake eyelashes tonight - all in the name of Vegas.

I'm incredibly excited to go on vacation, yet sad because my sales are REALLY good this week and if I could emmulate the same thing over the next three weeks, I'd end up with a commissions check. I guess I'll just have to majorly bust butt when I'm back.

The weather isn't looking so up in Veg-town, so much for sunbathing but who am I kidding? I'll be too drunk or too sucked into the blinking lights and sounds of "cha-ching" in metal trays (or the fake sound, since everything works by chit now) to put on the swim suit I'll go crazy looking for tonight.

The odd thing is if I would have stayed at the old job, I would be craving this break. Now, I don't feel like I need the break anymore! I'm glad I'm going it's not that desperate need to go anymore though.

In the land of boys - I got two phone calls while passed out on opening day asking me to go out with them. Neither left their number and the cell phone was off. Guess it's just not meant to be. We went to a great restaurant called "RipTide" last night after a networking event and heard Marc Ballini play - very Jack Johnson-esque so if you're into that visit him on myspace.com! He's very adorable :) But not single.

Alright, I'm going to finish things up at work and then I'll chat a bit this weekend. While on hiatous I'll make sure I take drunken pictures of debauchery.

Three Days ...

Until I'm on a plane.
Until drunken debauchery.
Until gambling.
Until what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas
(except on an anonymous blog!)

Celebrity Crap

Two things.

1. See this article http://channels.netscape.com/celebrity/story.jsp?floc=ns-tos-popc-h-13&idq=/ff/story/3027/20060404/1032270211.htm&brand=wenn&maxstories=5&storyterm='britney+spears'&maxphotos=5&phototerm='britney+spears'+NOT+sculpture. I pose this question - has Britney Spears done ANYTHING not tacky since she married K-Fed? I used to be a big fan of hers and I still feel for the poor "I want a family so I'll marry a guy who has proven he can produce kids" Spears, but seriously ...

2. And this article. http://channels.netscape.com/celebrity/whisper.jsp?floc=ns-tos-popc-h-14¤t=17 on Tom Cruise. It's great he's in love and he's a fan of his religon but can we PLEASE stop with the attention-needs please. I'm a middle child and I don't even crave all this! It's irritating to still see him grace the covers of magazines and web pages because I sincerely think no one really cares, we just want to know how far off the deep end he's gone.

Let's Make a Deal

You don't have to pay interest - just pay it back :) Yeah! That's some extra cash in the old checking account. I'm buying a swimsuit and some fake eyelashes for Vegas - the rest is purely for doing things I'd need to confess if I was Catholic (thank God for being Lutheran)!

I'm so excited about my job - looks like I'll hit my goal for the month of $20K - anything above and beyond is commission. I'll need to find someone to that needs some production work done. The goal of paying off bills is within reach, especially if I can nail down a bartending job when I get back. Ideally it would be great to get most of my car paid off and two of the many student loans.

In other news, if you're a guy you may not want this information, I got a friendly visitor today - something I'm not supposed to get. I'm on Depo (for no apparent reason except the fact that I hate getting my period and never get one on this bad boy) and surprise! I guess that's what I get when I work with mostly females.

In TV news - LOST was good as always. I went by mom's to chill out and relax.

In getting thin news - I'm doing horrible at it. I need to get the energy up and at least work out in the mornings if not do something I've never done, and start running. The forecast is calling for snow and my body for sleep - so we'll see how that gamble turns out.

Last but not least, this concludes another hump day - the count down is officially on and it's only five days until Vegas. Tomorrow is insane with a networking event at lunch and one after work. Friday is going to be packing, as I've just picked up a shift on Saturday at work (comp time - gotta love it!).

I can't believe it's almost Easter. I can't believe it's almost Vegas! It's bad to have those statements in the same sentence ...

Oh one more item-of-note: Want a cute, free e-card? Visit Hoops & Yoyo on Hallmark.com - they are awesome!

Today's Ramblings

So - my tad bit of complaining was a little unfounded. Turns out the HRA people didn't receive a couple of my faxes, now the earliest I can get the check is next Friday. How funny is that? Seriously. All the cash is coming in when I get back from Vegas. So I decided to pull the Daddy card. I could smack myself. Tonight is negotiations with Pops, I will try to negotiate a $300 loan which will, indefinitely, cost me $350. Not to mention I'm late on rent too. Eh-gad.

In commission related news - I booked my $3100 sale today :) Oh joy! Sales for the month, two days in, are around $5K. Hopefully I'm not using up all my luck here, I'd prefer it in Vegas.

I'm hoping to ditch out of work around 5:00, just in time to play "Let's make a deal" and get the check to the bank. I do still have to buy a swimsuit and fake eyelashes.

Elementary my dear Watson

Is apparently no place to send your kids! Yet another woman gets busted for banging a 13 year old student - and the catch! She let his 12 year old friend watch! ICK.

What $92.00 can buy

A tank of gas (40)
A container of cat litter (7)
A new razor (8)
A pair of sunglasses (10)
DVD's for old co-worker's son's graduation (10)
A new tank top (10)

And about $6.00 something left over.

I forgot to buy toothpaste. So much for cash for Vegas.

One More Thing ...

Working with a hang over sucks. I've stated that. The time is going slow and I just want to race home and see if my check is there. The mail arrives in 45 minutes. I have a meeting in two hours and 15 minutes. I will get hom in approximately three hours and 45 minutes. Tick tock, tick tock.

In my search for new business, I went blog-hopping to look for graphic artists. I've gotten paid all day to read people's blog - this is great! I've bumped into a lot of "God Blogs" - of which I have no problem reading, but there was a lot of them. Some people are cross-the-line God bloggers, a little to much bible in the text for my taste and some are very tactfully done.

There's a few sprinkles of God at Overanalyzed, but incredibly tactfully done. I like these kinds of blogs that it's about someone's life and their beliefs play into it. When I read these I think I should go to church. Then the "Next Blog" Navigation bar takes me to the line-crossers and I tap dance away.

I've also seen a lot of political blogs today, it's very interesting to read political thoughts I think. I don't come across political, but I have strong opinions - I just choose to keep them to myself. It's doubtful that I will pull you over to my side if I argue with you, so let's have a martini and move on.

Then there are the pregnancy blogs, which are endearing. There are blogs written from the baby's prespective and blog's co-written by mom and dad. There's A LOT of pictures. It makes being a parent fun-looking, though I'm not jumping on any beds and spreading my legs to become one anytime soon. There is one very endearing blog, and I could kick myself for not noting the blog address, of a dad who writes letters to his son every day. It started with the announcement, then you can read his emotions when he finds out he has special needs and then the letters continue. The best part is that the guy will give the letters to his son on his 18th birthday - in the meantime it's secret. It's fabulous.

Then there are random blogs like mine - also very fun. It's this whole little world of anonymus and semi-anonymous letters. It's amazing.

In other non-random blog reading news, I think I've drank enough liquids to even out my alchol dehydration - though the sleepiness is kicking in. Stay up to get the check!! I will got buy those cute pants if it comes, along with fake eyelashes and cat food. Oh, I do have to get a swimsuit. That money isn't going to go far. Eek.

I've made $8K in sales this month so far - it's only the 4th, but it makes me nervous because I'm gone all next week. Hopefully our specials will go out for tomorrow and I'll get some more from that. Any of you readers want to learn graphic design in Milwaukee?

The Morning After

It's the morning after officially. Isn't it remarkable how everything omitted from your body, sweat, coughing, etc just smells like booze - and of course, it's when you can't even stand the sight of alchol not to mention the smell, that you smell like it. Ick.

It's Tuesday, wonderful Tuesday. I'm leaving work probably around 5:30. Ideally I'll have a magical check waiting for me because the cat just ran out of food and he's a big guy that doesn't like not getting fed. I also need to start getting ready for Vegas.

We just checked the weather - rain all four days we are there. There goes the idea of sitting in the sun to avoid spending money we don't have. Oops.

Over Analyzed: I wanna be at the top of the tree

This is a great little poem I thought I'd share!

Over Analyzed: I wanna be at the top of the tree

It's 3am

and I'm hung over. Go Brewers! They won! :)

I'm having that moment where I know I should be sleeping, but I passed out at 7:30 last night so my body won't let me. I've drank a soda and a bottle of water, I still don't have to pee. Can someone say dehydration.

In my 3am stuper - I turned on the cell phone that ran out of juice yesterday and got two new voicemails. I totally forgot that I'd given out my card to numerous people and two wanted to hook up. I met several by the same name, so I'm hoping that at least one of them was the cutey boy with the rock solid abs.

In hilarity of opening day and drinking at 9am (this is Wisconsin!), I had to pee so bad on the bus on the way to the game that I had the bus pull over. Yes, that was slick.

Then, out smoking, I flashed some guys for a free beer. Classy I must admit.

Well here's to either a shower or going back to bed!

Deep Breath

Over my little vent from the other day, just still waiting on the checks so that I could have some cash to fill the gas tank.

In other news, I went shopping with my mom today and actually found a really cute pair of pants at Kohl's - better news, they are buy one get one! I tried them on for fun and she said she knew how short I was on cash and I haven't bought anything for myself in ages, so she bought them for me :) I can't wait to wear them!

In tomorrow news - it's opening day! GO BREWERS!

Is it an April Fools joke?

GRRR.

If you can't tell this is a post about my other job. Here's something I don't get. You charged me $300 a month for insurance. This insurance plan was crap - but the nice thing was HRA Reimbursement, they pay 1/2 your deductible, just submit your bills and they'll cut you a check.

The day I left I submitted a bill, two days later I submitted another bill. Four days later, two more. One week later, two more. Last week another three. It's been four weeks since I left coming up this week and I have yet to get a check for any of the money. I got an email saying that I'll get a check this week for $100 (out of the $400), I thought great! This helps out with the no income over the last couple of weeks.

I thought, fabulous. I'll fill my tank with gas and I'll get a new swim suit for Vegas. I even thought, whew! I'll have some cash for Vegas. But no. No check at all and it's Saturday - same city, mail comes the next day.

In the meantime I've spent $40 to work on a DVD for a former employee with out getting any money for it. I have to go buy more DVDs before I can make the other two copies the employee needs. But here's the deal - no check (for which MY $300 over the last five months has paid for) and I can't make your DVDs.

Thank god I have $18.00 in my checking account so I can put 5 gallons of gas in my car and pray they actually put the check in the mail on Monday so it arrives Tuesday. In the meantime, the upside would be that I have to quit smoking because I can't buy any!

Happenings

So I've been asked to leave my new job at 2:00. This is so weird and opposite of the last job. Hey - you're over 40 get the hell out of here - AND NO WORKING FROM HOME! As opposed to - "You only worked 60 hours this week ... you need to come in this weekend AND work from home." Have I mentioned I love my job?

I'm pumped because I've landed 3K in sales today that will hopefully be booked on Monday or Tuesday. 3K! That means my April sales will be at 7K next week. I'm praying for $60K this month - that would be a beyond delightful commission check in which I would be able to pay off a student loan AND pay back my debt to my mom for living costs the last two months. Then I'll be on the right track to save and move out. I'm also still looking for that bartending job ...

I have learned several valuable lessons from my job switchero.

(1) Networking pays. Pays big. Pays big by quitting your job and having another one. Pays big by giving you a bigger paycheck. Pays big by taking your 70 hour work weeks into a wonderful 40 hours only.

(2) Sales is working for your money. I'm so sorry to all you telemarketers. But not sorry that I put my name on the no-call list.

(3) Have a savings account so that life doesn't suck when you realize it's a different pay structure.

(4) Free parking rocks.

Crankiness

There have been a lot of late nights this week - all in good fun and not in nasty work like the old place - but not having any cash is folding into crankiness. It's hard to have friends buy you drinks and what not with out being able to do the same for them.

Here are a few cranky points that are getting to me:

(1) Dad. Mentioned he can tell I haven't been going to the gym. What are you trying to say here Pops?
(2) Grandma. Compared my recent disgust with life to her own. Not fair.
(3) Money. Oh I miss you so.
(4) The "do this and do thats." I love my family, I do but everyone expects me to be at their beckon call and they get mad when I say no. Why is it wrong if I just want to go home, put on PJs and eat ice cream in bed once a week?
(5) Sales. No one is returning my cold calls. Granted, I hate cold calls as well but I need to sell here!
(6) Business Documents. Writing this business plan for work is ticking me off because (a) I'm not sure what I'm doing (b) it keeps getting added too and (c) I have to sell 60K this month to get a comission check! I don't have time to write a 40 page document AND sell 60K especially when I'm gone for a week out the month.
(7) Boys. I haven't spoke to any in a week. This is a good thing, I know but still ...
(8) My old friends that are too busy to even call me back, but when I see them say "we never hang out" - duh. Because you never call me back idiots. And they get offended when I'm drunk and ask them if I should take them off of my friend list and stop bugging them.

And here is a list of things I need to use money for this weekend if I ever get my check:

(1) Swimsuit
(2) Cat litter
(3) Cat food
(4) Gas
(5) Student loans

$92 does not go that far.

Finally getting busy ...

All the crazy networking, the insance cold calling, the blind emails and the lead follow-ups and it's finally starting to pay off. Today I kept myself really busy with a dollar symbol floating in my head. I could really use a smoke.

Weekend is almost here

10 days and I'll be on a plane. A plane to Vegas. I'm trying not to squeal right now, but I really want too!

The old company is finally sending me one of the checks they owe me. Hopefully it will arrive tomorrow or at the very latest, Saturday because the old car needs some gas and I need to do a little pre-Vegas shopping.

I have a very little swim suit from about 20lbs ago that I refuse to wear and being that I won't have any of my own money to gamble with, there will be a great amount of time spent at the pool. So I need to do the dreadful swim suit shopping and even though it snowed about two days ago here, many of the stores in the area have the lovely attire out already.

The Doctor Phil's in Life

Only so much can be said about a balding old guy that likes to give relationship advice - oh wait, I guess a ton can because they are all ex people I've slept with. Yes I'm attracted to the older bald guy but not the Dr. Phil guy, perhaps this is why I can put an "ex" in front of their names.

After reiterating the "Baby's Daddy" story to all my companions (which I may have been offended at at first, but now finding incredibly amusing), a couple decided to opt on giving me relationship advice. No matter how I joke about Dr. Phil, it was pretty relevant and I thought I'd share.

(a) Perhaps I should stop hitting on men and let them hit on me.
(b) If you have to ask before messing around with someone if they have a child or a girlfriend, you obviously should not mess around with them.
(c) Choice locations for quality guys does not include corner bars (LOL - all of which I met the lovely Dr. Phil's administering this advice at).
(d) From now on all guys must have (1) Shelter of some kind - paper box does not count; however apartments do and perhaps an igloo (2) a job and a (3) car - with the exception of Chicago or New York because they don't have to have one to get around (not an ex's advice, a friend's - but still relevant).
(e) For the love of God, stop dating south side guys.

Now, I have great answers to why I shouldn't follow - but they are really excuses.

(a) I am impatient, why waste time? If I like, I get. RESPONSE: Then you have to like what you get - ie a baby's daddy.
(b) Touche - but at least I ask so I can say that the guy denied it. RESPONSE: He'll deny you if it gets serious. Don't ask, don't tell.
(c) But I love corner bars! RESPONSE: Fine, but don't pick up guys there and see (a).
(d) No excuse for this one - good solid advice
(e) But I live on the south side! All the eastsiders and downtowners won't travel out here. RESPONSE: see (a).

Advice I will follow for at least a week.

Mondays

The good thing about my job is I love it, the bad thing is that I need to generate some more leads. I want to be giving information or booking people for classes every day, instead I sit in quiet since I'm so new.

Today I have to leave early since I've exceeded the 40 hours a week for the last two weeks. With this new available time off, I'm going to look for a bartending job and try to do some more research on leads.

In the mean time I'm realizing just how broke one person can be and doing all the scraping to find cash. As a gambler (don't worry - not gambling now, no money too) I've racked up some points at the local casino that will be equivelant to cash. I have about 4,000 which I can cash in for $20. I think I will do that today so I have money for gas.

I've been meandering through my belongings to figure out what might sell on E-Bay, my digital camera is so old it will generate $30, my normal camera (while nice) will only generate $10. The only thing I have of value is my laptop, which is required for work. Perhaps I should put up a couple of my safety pin watches and see what they could generate? I'll need to see what I have in watch faces.

A year ago today

It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, it was 2:00. I went to my dad's do some books. I was dogsitting. The dog was laying at my feet while I entered in reciepts. My dad's wife cleaned the kitchen. My nephew helped my dad to drag branches from the yard.

Then there was a scream. A little four year old scream that yelled "Grandpa." Then there was a yell for my name to grab my nephew. Below the tall tree we had often climbed in school was a slunched body, a visible skull. The man I had feared for twenty four plus years laid in his own blood. It was an instant that I looked at him, a moment where I grabbed my screaming nephew and hid his head from the sight among his tears and rushed him in the house and closed all the blinds. It was the first time I dialed 911 and got a busy signal. I heard my sister come out of her house and scream. I heard the neighbors running to call for the cops. I stood helpless inside with a crying little boy turned away from the windows trying to peak through the cracks and see if he was okay.

I dialed my mom. His ex-wife. I couldn't formulate actual words. "He fell. He can't move. Blood." She had no clue and then she heard the sirens. "Oh my God."

Two EMTs grabbed his 240 lb, 6 foot frame and held his neck perfectly still. My sister left. My brother left. I stayed at home with the little boy. I didn't know what to do. I called my mom and we came to her house. She pulled us inside the house, she grabbed his fraile frame and before any of us could say anything he said, "Grandpa fell from the tree. The branch broke. He got hurt. I think he's hurt bad." I cried.

I spoke no words for four hours. I tried calling over and over for someone to say that he was okay. Eight hours later I went to the hospital after no word. My nephew in my mom's care. I walked in to a sterile room and shocked family. My older brother grabbed me by the arm. Two broken vertabres and he had been scalped. 32 staples. Bruising all down his body. But he was okay. We'll know more later.

I stayed all night at the hospital. I went into work in the same clothes I was in the day before. I picked up the papers and brought them in. My boss walked in, my back turned. "How was your weekend?" I turned and he asked what happened. I explained the accident and was told to leave. I went back to the hospital and spent a daily routine for three weeks of visiting from 6am until 9am. Went to work at 9:30. Worked until 7:00. Went back to the hospital. Showered at 1:00am and started the routine over with.

The third day in the hospital I visited over lunch. My brother's back to the crowd in a waiting room and he was crying. I saw but didn't know what to do, so I went over and said I was scared. He wiped his tears and said he had to get back to work. We'd never speak of that day again.

For three weeks he slowly healed. He slowly got off the pills. He slowly began to walk. He broke his neck and he could walk. He slowly healed over the next six months, finally shedding his neck brace.

Yesterday he threw a "Thank God I'm Alive Party" and I didn't mind stocking his bar or washing the dishes this morning because no matter how nasty he can be or how he looks at us each like he doesn't care, I remember that he might not be here. Just like last week on Desperate, Bree told her son - "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. If you hate me, you still care." Even when he hates me and I hate him, we both still care.

So thank God he is alive.

Cheating Men

PB and I have been going out once or twice a week. I knew there was something a bit off about him and often asked about whether or not he had kids. The answer was "Absolutely not." Then there was the bullsh*t about relationships last Monday. Then there was last night ..

I'm relaxing a bit when my phone rings "private call." Thinking nothing of it, I pick up. I was about to embark on the following conversation:

BM: "Hey b*tch. Why is your number in MY man's phone?"
MG: "Well who's your man?"
BM: "B*tch don't start with me. You know."
MG: "No, I don't. I'm sorry - but ..."
BM: "You f*cking hoe. I will kick your a** when I see it on the street. You are dead. Do you hear me? You're dead. That's my baby's daddy (hence BM - Baby's Momma)."
MG: "Who's your baby's ..."
BM: "Oh you want to start? Let me get my ..."

I hung up. Here's the deal. I'm pretty sure it's PB because he's the only guy ghetto enough that I've been seeing to date a ghetto chick like this. But here's the other thing - you want to kick my butt? Your dude told me that he didn't have kids OR a girlfriend. Isn't it his fault?

I've been in the situation before where my guy cheated - never once did I blame her. Obviously a guy is NOT going to say to a chick, "I've got a girl - let's f*ck" and have her do it. Even if she did - YOUR DUDE still cheated.

This really bugs me that women do this to other women. Get a life and get rid of the scumbag. Stop blaming a chick that you don't even know. It takes two to tango and your guy participated.

AM I GLAD I DIDN'T BANG HIM, especially knowing that dick's been in something so skanky and idiotic (yes, I get to talk trash because she started it). Oh, and back on the fricking hiatous!

Only in Wisconsin

Only in Wisconsin would you wake up to a beautiful, sun-shiney day and then look out the window at 3:30 to see it snow.

Word gets around.

At a little networking event last night, my old boss's name got dropped by a person I was speaking to. It was funny because he said their personalities just didn't match - which was my arguement all along. I get along with the majority of people I meet, it actually does not happen very often that I honestly don't like someone. But here, this guy's had two encounters with two people around the same age at the same point in their career and he disliked them both. I think it's funny how he believes it was us and not him.

Yesterday was an enlightenment. I went to a meeting with an agency in the morning. I realized I was completely brainwashed by my agency when I was there. My old agency wanted to be the most integrated agency in Milwaukee, but this place had them tenfold. Granted, bigger agency, but I realized my old place can't legitimately make that announcement because the new place had a finer definition of integration.

Then, to go back to the networking meeting, while introducing myself around people often asked where I worked. I told them with joy; however, they followed up with "How long have you been there" and then "Where did you work before that?" When I would mention the name, 90% of them got a disgusted look on thier face. That's when I realized I shouldn't be afraid of what is going to be said about me because they don't seem to have the influence that I once believed they had. It makes me sad because there are a lot of great people that work there, but I guess they were right, "Word gets around."

Eh Gad, my abs.

With lack of a gym membership and a mere three weeks to Sin City, my mom and I have been discussing working out. The sad thing is, I could have saved $35 a month since my dad actually has a full service gym in my apartment (which I should've done, yet we will get into that later) however, it's in MY HOUSE. That means, I come home, I slop off my heels and jimmy out of my work clothes and decide to sit on my lazy butt and watch TV, not work out. Well, the other month my dad actually offered my mom the use of his gym at her convienence, so that is what we have been doing.

My usual gym routine at the actual gym involved intense cardio and lots of upper body work to make the old collar bone pop. Well, his gym doesn't really have those weights but a lot of abs. So owch, do my abs hurt. But hopefully the workouts will pay off as I slip into my bikini.

On to the bikini. Turns out I better look damn good in that thing - I misread my new pay policies at work and found out it's semi-monthly NOT bi-weekly. This means my first "real" paycheck won't even be until I get back from Vegas. That being said I have a whole $12.00 in my account and nothing saved for Vegas. Once again, being a grown up means having a savings account.

Now onto last night. Yes, I got kind-of tail. The tail in the sense of joking around with PB until midnight and singing karaoke, going back to give him a massage and ending up 1/2 naked and saying no. I said no! Why? For multiple reasons, the first being my new years resolution but yet tainted by it.

I've actually decided I'm just not that into the craziness of relationships and maybe I just need to be a little less Charlotte and a little more Samantha. This taints my resolution because I said I would need to be in a relationship to have sex, but yet I'm doing everything to NOT be in one. Which goes into the XYZ of why it didn't happen. (X) The timing was off - it was 2am and I needed to be up early (Y) He wanted me to spend the night - in his bed, in his arms. This doesn't work because then I get comfortable and want to be in a relationship, no matter who the dude is. And finally, (Z) He said that he hasn't done anything with me because he didn't want to f*ck me. He wanted to get to know me. He wanted to "make love." Gag. I've been engaged and never "made love" and honestly believe that a relationship means making love not a chick at the bar.

We kissed, we necked. He wandered. I took off my shirt. His dick stayed in his pants (and not in my mouth). My underwear stayed on. I thought it was a good night.

And the final note of the evening - I've been forced to watch American Idol and I don't like Kelly Pickler. Really do not. Dumb people should not be allowed to get rich. You are trying REALLY hard to be a mix between Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood. You should be like Chris and get your own sound.

Enough said!

Getting some tail

So, I kind of got tail but then freaked out. What is wrong with me?

Questions with questions ...

Eeek. Why, oh why does a gentleman caller answer my attempts to hit on him with questions.

Our text message conversation from earlier:

MG: "Want to go out tonight?"
PB (Pierced Bartender): "Do you?"
MG: "Ummm ... Yeah."
PB: "What are you thinking?"
MG: "Where do you want to go"
PB: "Where do you want to go"
MG: "You pick. Make it magical."
PB: "Whatever."
MG: "Fine. Landmark 1850?"
PB "Maybe."

Turns out I'm supposed to meet him at a different bar in 10 minutes. Lovely. I better get a bit of tail.

Monday, Monday, Monday

And today starts a brand new week :) I'm traveling to Madison for business this morning, how incredibly delightful! I don't think I'm driving, which makes it even better.

Monday also means I'm done dog sitting and house sitting and starts what I would like to refer to as a "normal" week. We'll see how this week goes with less networking events and more time to myself.

The one thing I hadn't planned on in the whole job-switchero was the fact that I'm out a week's worth of pay and the new jobs bi-weekly is the opposite bi-weekly than the old job. That's right, that means a whopping three weeks with no pay and me hurting with no savings account. Big lesson is you can't be a grown up if you don't have what Tyra Banks refers to as the "F-U" account. Hopefully, since the new job is more ching, this means I can actually save something.

The lack of pay also hurts my upcoming Vegas vacation. I had planned on the third paycheck this month to be all vacation; however, it turns out there isn't one and I'll be going to Vegas for a week with only about $400 on deck. Oops. At least I know this for the future and I should have a good amount for the October rendevous.

Also, another downside to the switch (which none of these are drastic) is that I don't have a gym membership anymore :( This means I have to look around for a new one within the next few months. In the meantime, my dad actually has a pretty large gym in his house and he's made nice (finally) with my mom for a bit of time and offered her to come over and use it. So, twice a week we are going to get together and put in a little routine exercise. It's amazing how I'm actually still down a bit, but feel like I look worse since things are tight - just loose and flabby. I have even considered taking up running in the morning, but lord knows I can't really pull myself out of bed that often or have the energy to jog in the cold Wisconsin mornings.

Other than that, the old Rockstar boyfriend IMed me the other day saying he wanted to go out again - I made up a boyfriend to get out of it. I also informed my mom and sister about this so they could back me up. In the meantime, it seems as word might have gotten off to #3, who IMed me on Friday to see how the new job was going. At this point, to keep up the charade, I also had to fake the boyfriend - he has a girlfriend now, so it shouldn't even matter.

I haven't heard from #1 at all and Monday's seem to be the time we usually go out. We haven't seen eachother in about three weeks and I actually kind of miss him :( I'm hoping he calls, if not just to go out for a free beer.

I was at my old restaraunt on Friday and really got ticked off. There is barely anyone there that I used to work with, meaning that I shouldn't be cast as an "Old employee" and should now be entitled to "customer" - it has been a year and a half. This being said, I was speaking to an old friend who was managing and a server came up and just said "Comp stamp." This is rude if I'm a customer, I have complete respect that the servers want to leave - but don't interrupt a customer to do so.

After that the little bro asked me to pick him up from his date, to which he also asked if I could drive his girl home. I asked him straight out if I had an option to which he said "no." This did not leave a happy me. That night led to a colmination (which I'm not even sure if that is spelt right) of (1) Intervention about my sex life/preference (2) being stood up by the pierced bartender (3) being treated rudely at a place I used to call home (4) driving all over Milwaukee to get my bro's girl home. It also turns out that the money I gave him for his date was used up entirely by her for dinner and the movie, the poor boy couldn't even eat because he had limited funds. We got Taco Bell on the way back and he realized I was cranky (also adding to being broke - since I paid for Taco Bell), so he walked the dog for me both at 11:00 at night and in the morning.

Luck of the Irish?

I'm not Irish at all. Therefore, there is no "kiss me I'm Irish" shirt in my closet or drawers and also no luck on St. Patty's day. My counterpart for a partial night of drinking never called, to tell you the truth - I didn't care.

On to funnier things. I'm pretty sure my family staged an intervention for me yesterday along the lines of if I was, or was not, a lesbian since it's been nearly two years since I've had a boyfriend as the same with sex. I was prompted by a family member to give a crazy look when I was told, "Well, with the new job - there will be time for a BOY (strong emphasis) friend."

To make things slightly clear to everyone who questions this and knows me - let's recap the latest year or so with the dudes I've had "in my life"

Mr. Ad - passive aggressive, not my style. Also needs attention.
Mr. D - not sure what happened there. Got mad when I bought him a drink and we never talked since.
Mr. L - doesn't drink, smoke or have sex. Enough said.
#3 - we got close. He got far.
Guy from the karaoke bar - gay.
Guy from my christmas party - turned out to nail his ex-fiancee, then try to get some from me AND later revealed he was gay.
Rockstar - he was 30+ and in a band. Never had a real job. Dated for over a year and his mantra was "when I'm playing a gig - I'm single." Nice.
#1 - "saw eachother" for 8 months, then told me was ready for a girlfriend - it just wasn't me. Now we're just friends.
Ex-fiance - Sued me for HIS credit card debt.
Greek Guy - we call him this because he had a HONKING nose. Wanted a threesome with my roommate while we were seeing eachother. Preceeded to shower with her - I left, to buy THEM dinner. Don't know what happened - just knew I wasn't getting naked with him anymore.

That's what I can remember at this point - can anyone blame me for not having a boyfriend? Didn't think so.

I get asked WHY a lot and sometimes I explain, sometimes I try to be funny, sometimes I get up and leave. The truth is - to date me, it's probably a bit of hard work. Due to the above, I no longer will rearrange my life to be with some guy. So if you even want to get a date with me, you gotta catch me with my planner in hand and have me write it down. I also have to be attracted to you. You also have to realize that I'm busy and not throw hissy fits when I can't meet you on the drop of a hat. Please be respectul that I live (more than likely) FAR away from you (or at least WORK far away from you) and that I don't necessarily want to drive 1/2 an hour to see you, especially when I invite you to my side of town and you say no. So I don't blame those that don't want to date me either.

I've lately been thinking - maybe, just once, I'll sleep with someone to get me over the hump. Then I don't. Probably better that way. Sex is not a toy, but damn is it fun.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Hey it's St. Patrick's Day! So lift up your green beers and cheer!

On with updates on me - this week has been crazy busy and I didn't mind it one bit. I love my new job so far :)

On an interesting note - my old boss called me yesterday regarding an article that was placed on behalf of a client, turns out the number ran wrong. I'm sitting on the opposite end of the phone 1/2 in disbelief that I'm supposed to care and 1/2 in disbelief that I do. I informed him the information was pulled off the creative brief and emailed (he wrote the brief) which should still be in my email box. Thinking to myself I finally realized - someone had to proof that before running and it wasn't me (I was gone) - so who did it? I left him a follow up voicemail asking that very question. But I've been obsessing over it. I talked with a friend last night who informed me to stop caring, I don't work there. Had they given me more than 2 hours to leave - perhaps three days or so, then I should. I'm trying.

Nixing the smoking

One good effect of working in an even smaller business is the lack of people that decide to fill their lounges with cancerous smoke every day. I have officially not even knocked out a pack in three days. This is a HUGE accomplishment. When at the other job, I smoked a pack and a half - yes, AND A HALF a day because I needed the break, the escape. I have decided to not even tempt myself, and I leave the pack in the car.

I have noticed I am INCREDIBLY tired by 2:00 - but perhaps this goes hand in hand with the lack of caffine and no green tea for the afternoon.

Man, I'm so itching to land a sale. I'm calling out my dogs even before training is over. I figure I'll put out the feelers and when I'm ready - BANG.

In other news, I'm so happy I still get to dog sit this weekend for my favorite pooch! I was a bit afraid since the dog sitting was with a, now, former employee that I might never see him (or her) again. I got a call this morning saying I still could watch him, in fact she needed me a day earlier. This works out well, since I do believe that I don't get paid this week and the funds are aching just a tad bit in the account. This can happen when you get three days off of your job with out compensation.

As for this weekend, I'm pretty sure I ticked off Mr. Ad pretty bad and that I should stop making excuses for my behavior. The reality of the situation is that between #3 and the ex and the ex-fiance fiasco last year, I'm not sure it's even there. As one of my lovely friends put it - it's either there or it isn't. Now the questioning of my preference hasn't stopped, but I'm not going to push the issue just to get some d*ck to prove I'm not bi or lesbian. As I tried to explain to #1 the other night, I'm very asexual right now - not feeling drop-dead-sexy, come take me now. I feel horrible because he is very nice, but I'm just not ready :( (That's right - I used an emoticon)

Back to looking for articles and the basics.

On a PC

Wow - blogger is TOTALLY different on a PC. Awesome.

My first day was great. Super fabulous awesome, great. I"m pumped. After work my new boss and I went to a networking event at a local brewery - I knew there was a good chance that a couple from my old company would be there; however, no one but the two of them really went. Turns out five of them decided to go last night. Awkward, but fine. I miss my Art Director the most. He told me to call him to get drinks.

The best thing about this new job is I get to actually use my planner - and it's packed. I'm house sitting this week for my mom, which makes trotting my little brother around as well as new job activities REALLY packed. But this fabulous new job has something called "comp" time - so every time you work over 40 you get credit towards 20 hours of take off time :) It's awesome.

When I walked in there was a dozen pink (my favorite!) roses, I get to use my own laptop which is amazing just at that so I'm not transfering files all the time, and the people are so great.

I can't wait to get started today :)

It's the weekend ...

Eek. I drank too much last night. Partial celebration, partial habit.

I'm so pumped about this new job - one that I can use #3 in hard core but my drunkiness screwed that up. I pitched, he bought - then mentioned the girlfriend and I told him to tell my ex that I was sorry for everything that happened between us. He hesitated, I said "screw it - I don't think would approve." I told my bud who was bartending that I was one of those girls that deserved to be hit by a car ...

Since my new job is sales, I decided to act like a professional and cleaned out the car hardcore. In a little bit I'm going to go to the car wash and get that puppy vacuumed out (mainly because there is hardcore dog hair all over it). In the meantime I'm actually cleaning - something I should have done in my recent three days off. Something I've always noticed about sales people is that their cars are CLEAN. Beautifully clean. This is my time to reinvent and start over (with out having to leave state or country for that matter).

Two more days! I can't wait to start ...

I can't wait for work!

Three days of nothing is not so much fun, I'm bored. Incredibly bored. I've washed my carpets - twice. I actually found myself wanting someone from the office (old one) to call and yell about something. Then I found myself disturbed that no one even emailed - even returning mine.

Adjustment periods suck. Back to cleaning carpets.

The real world of advertising

For some reason blogger.com hasn't been loading up on my computer correctly so I've got a big post to make to fill you in.

Tuesday was an interesting day - I've not been happy at work for months to the point where I get sick, literally, before going. During another lecture session I told my boss that I was thinking of resigning on Wednesday. He then, basically, fired me under the pretention of a "resignation" letter that he wrote for me and I had two hours to clean my desk.

This is the reality of advertising in a small town. A resignation letter can not only mean your last day, but also your last moment in advertising. Now I hear what is said about me after I leave and I got a phone call from my boss urging me to do good PR with all the folks at the agency to make good. For instance, I informed a co-worker I would be back the next day to review files, but she was at lunch. I really have no want to go back - had they let me work until Friday it would have all been taken care of, but in the meantime I've gotten comfortable with the thought that I don't work there anymore.

To make Tuesday more interesting, I had a job interview and I got the job! I start on Monday and am thrilled, I hope I do incredibly well!

A Bedtime Story

Once upon a time a wonderful girl got her dream job right out of college, it was for little money but worth doing what her passion was for. Two years later she finds out that she's on the radar of getting canned ... and she doesn't care.

Six weeks and Grow some balls!

This is a dual post - first a vent. Why do people feel the need to write a mean email instead of talk to you? Why do people stab people in the back - this just isn't my style and I'm sick of working in an industry where it is.

That's the transition to six weeks. I've decide, regardless if I have another full time job or not, I WILL NOT continue to work in six weeks. It's just crap. Do I love my industry? YES! Do I love my company? YES! But I don't enjoy the piddley "I'm in 8th grade" crap that some of (particularly one) like to throw around here.

I'm not :) if you can't tell - it's Saturday, I've been at work since 7am after finding my weekend "To-Do" list in my email at 10:00 last night. GRRR. GRRR. GRRR.

One last vent and I'm done - during my review I was told "I take on too much and need to ask for help." I was drowning yesterday, told my boss a co-worker would be helping me and she freaked out! You wonder why I don't? Everytime I do - I get freaked out on!

$10,000 away in the bank and I'm moving to Canada and marrying a mountie.

Today was supposed to be a good day ...

I woke up. I went to the gym. I felt like a million bucks.

I went to work with a smile on my face, in a cute new outfit with my hair in pigtails. The baby took her first steps last night, there was nothing that was going to hold me down. Visions of sugar plums danced in my head as I envisioned the positive, fun post I was going to write for the blog today. Then, crash.

The big, important project that I spent the majority of the year on last year had a glich. A computer glich actually. Every couple names or so would print the wrong company and I only spot checked. I could kick myself, my boss could kick me, I was five minutes from turning in a resignation and going back to the restaraunt to work full time until I found a new job. I have a migraine, a piercing, light-blinding, migraine. Today was supposed to be happy fun, tonight was supposed to be better - but now, it sucks.

In an effort to change things I'm going to post my happy thoughts from this morning in a blog I was going to entitle "Lists."

Lists:

First List: Names I would like to name my gaggle of kids that will cause them to grow up and resent me.
(1) Mahdea Marjory
(2) Odette Grant
(3) Samantha Nicole
(4) Cody Allen
(5) Andrew Ulysses
(6) Monroe Dakota

Second List: Things I couldn't live with out
(1) Rainy days
(2) Sunglasses
(3) My gym membership
(4) Shoes. Glorious shoes.
(5) My family and friends
(6) My cat
(7) My vibrator :)
(8) Posting on this blog
(9) My planner

Third List: Things I could live with out
(1) Student loan payments
(2) My job (metaphorically - not technically, since I obviously need a paycheck to live)
(3) Living in my dad's house
(4) Cleaning
(5) Dishes

That's all for now, lunch break is over!

Change your name.

I can't remember if it was a commercial or a TV program but there was a guy in a cube wearing a nametag (which I'll just say said Steve, since I can't seem to remember that either). A lady comes over, "Bob, I need you to do this for me now." Bob turns around and says, "Sorry, I'm Steve." The lady replies, "No, you're Bob." Bob replies "Look at my name tag - it says I'm Steve. Bob is out today."

That's how I feel, maybe - just for today, I will change my name so people stop coming up to me and saying, "MG - I need you to do this now." To dream, I know.

I pumped for bowling - with my extra curricular practice this weekend, I might just be pretty darn good. :)

My 5 second post is all I have time for, back to the bump and grind of the work day (and not the extra curricular time).

Spontaneous Combustion

Stolen from http://www.crystalinks.com/shc.html

The first reliable historic evidence of Spontaneous Human Combustion appears to be from the year 1673, when Frenchman Jonas Dupont published a collection of Spontaneous Human Combustion cases and studies entitled De Incendiis Corporis Humani Spontaneis. Dupont was inspired to write this book after encountering records of the Nicole Millet case, in which a man was acquitted of the murder of his wife when the court was convinced that she had been killed by spontaneous combustion. Millet, a hard-drinking Parisian was found reduced to ashes in his straw bed, leaving just his skull and finger bones. The straw matting was only lightly damaged. Dupont's book on this strange subject brought it out of the realm of folkloric rumor and into the popular public imagination.

In 1951 the Mary Reeser case recaptured the public interest in Spontaneous Human Combustion. Mrs. Reeser, 67, was found in her apartment on the morning of July 2, 1951, reduced to a pile of ashes, a skull, and a completely undamaged left foot. This event has become the foundation for many a book on the subject of SHC since, the most notable being Michael Harrison's Fire From Heaven, printed in 1976. Fire From Heaven has become the standard reference work on Spontaneous Human Combustion.

On May 18, 1957, Anna Martin, 68, of West Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, was found incinerated, leaving only her shoes and a portion of her torso. The medical examiner estimated that temperatures must have reached 1,700 to 2,000 degrees, yet newspapers two feet away were found intact.

Today was one of those days when you think that you're going to spontaneously combust. Hey - turns out it might be kind of true.

It's the weekend!

My two photo shoots Thursday and yesterday made my regular work go on the back end, so I plan on going into work tomorrow to catch up.

Looks like it might be a bland weekend. The cute boy from bowling (new nickname Mr. Ad) sent me an email saying he just wanted to make sure I got in from Waupun okay with the bad weather - it was very sweet. We emailed back and forth - but I left at 5:00. Around 6:00 he sent another one (I can check email from home) saying he'd call me later, but he didn't :( I'm hoping he calls sometime this weekend.

#3 and I briefly talked yesterday, I was hoping that he would have sometime to catch a drink today so that we could talk about what is going on in his head, but to no avail.

It's very cold in Wisconsin so I'm actually glad that I might be stuck indoors all day! I'm cleaning and doing laundry - even emptied out the old car! Just wish it was warm enough to get that gross salt off of it.

Beautiful Things

There are very few things in life are as beautiful as you

Okay, so let's back track in my absence of posts.

Wednesday: Got my hair cut and I'm not sure I like it - but oh well, it'll grow back. I sucked at bowling - yet was able to talk to the cute boy from last week! A little too late though - I had a photo shoot at 7am in Waupun. 3 hours of sleep later I crawled out of my cold bed 1/2 hung over and 1/2 asleep.

Thursday: Photo shoot at 7am, driving in a blizzard! I went into work because I needed to find out if the panel I was speaking on was still going to happen with our horrible weather. Turns off it wasn't and that work had said anyone who wanted to leave early could.

Then I got an email from a friend saying she made an ass out of herself on Wednesday with the guy I was hanging out with. I was completely confused - she mentioned a "fall-out." Eeks. Never good. I had thought he left with me at midnight - we exchanged numbers and decided to hang out again - but maybe not? He hadn't called either - it was only one day. Things like this make me over analyze a bit. I'm still waiting to hear what happened.

I got to hang out with the baby last night which was nice, but I was exhaused. #3 kept text messaging me and I was just sick of it and went to bed.

Here's the deal with #3 - there will never be a relationship there, we are just friends. The two of us are a bit too similar and he's a hellauv a lot of selfish to ever do that again. I don't think either of us really wants to date again, but then ...

But then I tell him (since we are friends - not as a ploy) I'm interested in someone, or we'll go out and he'll pick up the girl next to him and I'll talk to the guy next to me, and he'll turn in to a rage machine. He says he's looking out for my best interest - I think he's the kind of guy that doesn't want you but doesn't want you to be with anyone else either. I told on Monday about the cute guy from Wednesday and then he started calling and texting obsessively - including on Wednesday. When I didn't return his texts immediately he pulled mean text messages, as if we were a couple (or, I should say, like he did when we were a couple). Perhaps we need to have a bit of a talk this weekend.

Lots of work to do today and only 8 hours to do it in so I'm off ...

To Shave ...

I got up bright and early and headed to the gym - and shaved my legs, which of course means I will not be philandering around this evening.

I'm actually not much in a bowling mood tonight, but as a co-worker said, it is only 9am. We'll see how the day plays out.

My hair will be chopped off again as of 2:30 - that way I will look all professional for my speech tomorrow at the museum, that's the highlight of my day. A little primping never hurt!

To Shave ... Or not to Shave?

That is the question pondering my mind at this point. Shave means go to the gym and do it right, no shave means stay and get to work early. My guess is that I'll probably shave ...

My Valentine's Day was pretty low-key, no wandering messages from lost loves, no surprise flowers, no magical candies. I did meet with my new students for a quick chat - that lasted 3 hours. I also played loving big sis and helped my brother with his math homework for 1/2 an hour.

Now I'm tucked in and ready to sleep!

Oh one other quick thing ... BZ is back! Check out her blog! It made my night :)

Happy Tuesday and Valentines Day!

I had a bit of Valentine's Day last night. #3 called and wished me an early happy V-Day and we went out for drinks. He was very sweet, being that he wouldn't even say Happy V-Day when we were together ...

Anyhow, at the bar we were enjoying our usual venting sessions when the guy across the way said he wanted to buy us a shot because we were so cute together. I laughed and said that was funny - #3 got offended because, I guess, we are"cute." I tried to explain that the guy obviously thought we were together in more than just a friend way - but to no avail.

The night continued with me hitting on the guy next to me (hiatus does NOT mean I can't flirt - just can't touch the merchandise). Turns out his company went to us for advertising, but we lost the pitch. It was interesting to say the least.

Finished up the evening with #3 and the Bachelor - nothing happened, because I'm on hiatus and I didn't want it to!

In honor of valentines day here is 13 things I love right now:

1. My cat, who is extra cuddley now that his counterpart is gone.
2. My mom, who is always there no matter what.
3. My sister, for being a tough cookie and really good at kids - two things I wish I was better at.
4. My brothers, for being my brothers.
5. The scale at the gym, for finally going down and not staying even
6. Martinis, because they are oh so good.
7. My new found hip bones, because they are sexy.
8. The fact that I didn't have to buy anyone anything for today.
9. Green eye shadow - because it makes my green eyes pop.
10. My dark hair - because it's almost real and it makes me feel like a vixen.
11. Bowling on Wednesdays, because I can socialize and drink and bowl all at the same time.
12. Mentoring. Because it makes me feel like I'm doing something with my life.
13. This blog, because I've met some very cool people through it and it gives me a place to vent.

Scatter is as Scatter Does

Turns out I'm pretty scattered lately in more than my posts, we'll try to work on that here.

My weekend was very non chalant - no drinking (past Friday), mostly relaxing in (ah!) no bra - which was fabulous I must admit. Picking up my brother at 10pm kind of killed my night on Saturday.

Sunday I hung out with my mom, did a little power shopping and that was about it. Got a very cute new pair of tennis shoes (mom paid - nice!) which aren't really great for the gym, but - as said - cute none the less.

Today has been pretty uneventful, I wasn't able to leave for lunch so I'm starving and tired right now. I can't wait to leave (45 minutes and counting). I was hoping my energy would be up and I could get over to the gym, but that's really not looking like it will happen.

This week is just PACKED. Tonight is my only quiet night. Tomorrow I have some students coming in that I will be mentoring this semester, Wednesday is leagues, Thursday I'm doing a speech on how great advertising is, Friday is a doctor & oil change appointment. I'm sure this weekend will be booked before I know it too.

Still kicking butt on my hiatus here! No further progressions with anyone of the male sex, no progression whatsoever. It's been nice because I've been overly exhausted lately and not sure why. But it's kind of nice to go home and stay there. Dad's been off my back a bit (another nice bonus) and my laundry is actually getting done.

Due to the low-key evening I'm planning on having, I'll probably be back to post later!

Scatter Post

This will be a bit of a scatter post because I have a bunch of random thoughts in my head. Let's start with yesterday...

We all went out for a drink after work (before the event) and in talking with a coworker he mentioned the hot guy from leagues was asking about me, but he told him I was seeing someone... What? No! I informed my coworker I am NOT seeing anyone and he was hot, so ... he informed me he'd hook us up. Interesting ...

Then the event happened. I went, it was fun but there was several mix-ups that makes me not like the organization any more than my growing hatred. First of all, the girl who does not like me on the board said "Wow. You actually look nice." I don't know if she meant it to come out the way she did - but it didn't come off nice. Then my artwork was listed as a different artist. Come on guys, I've been working there for three years and you can't give me props for my work?

Also, a friend decided not to go because she didn't want to go alone - instead she wanted me to come over. Here's the deal (and I know I have to have this conversation with her) but she makes more money than me but I see her all the time because I'm too far away. I barely can afford gas to get to work and back not to mention a place 45 minutes from where I work. I feel bad... but ...

My post yesterday on the "question" resulted from some hilarious responses from Darth - so I'm posting them here!

1. "Why the hell are YOU single?"

2. "I know I am single because I have standards; you, on the other hand, are a different story."

3. “I am single because I only seem to meet losers like you.”

4. “I am actually a man.”

5. “Just buy me another beer and shut the hell up!”

6. “Did you know I can completely gut a man from his groin to his neck with a Taco Bell spork in less than 12 seconds?”

7. “Because my vibrator at least TRIES to get me off.”

8. “STELLA!!!!” (sorry a cheap Seinfeld ripoff)

9. “I find my cats better conversationalists than most men. You, on the other hand, are even worse than most.”

10. “I once drank a Long Island tea on the rocks and those ice cubes had a higher collective intelligence than you and all your friends.”

11. “I only date men with pierced penises.”

12. “I used to be a man but I got a sex change so I could be a lesbian and I haven’t found the right girl yet.”

Also - an anonymous poster made a good point - perhaps the right response is "Because you haven't asked me out yet" - I might try that line if the guy is interesting - otherwise, going wit a couple of Darth's responses!

Answer me this ... seriously.

I've vented about this before, but once again I will do it.

When out on Wednesday I was have drinks with some guys when the question appeared all of the sudden - in statement format (which was easier to take, my nostrils did not flare nor my blood boil) "Why are you single?" Answer me this - why does it matter as long as I am? When a guy asks that question what does he want your response to be?

While in the past I've gotten snotty with my answers, ranging from "Obviously, I'm psycho" to "I have commitment issues" to "Because I have eight kids" - I just smiled and stared at my beer for a moment.

So here's the question and the answer, "Why am I single?" Because I am. Because no guy has swept me off my feet. Because I work a lot, because I'm obsessed with my work. Because I enjoy single life (no matter how I bitch). Because I like the fact that my money goes to me. Because sex with a vibrator is often more gratifying then the ten seconds you could offer up. Because I have standards and no one has met those. Because single is not a disease, single is my choice of life.

Bad Blogger, Bad!

I've been reading a bunch of my regular blogs and have noticed the lack of updates, which made me sad; however, I haven't updated either! Bad Blogger, Bad!

My hiatous is doing well, I'm feeling better about myself with out having the added pressure of trying to find a consistent make out partner. But here's the thing about the hiatous ...

Leagues were on Wednesday night, it was a hellauv alot of fun, I did a bit too much drinking (hmm, SURPRISE there) and went to the other lane from last week to hang out with a married buddy of my friend. Now, he doesn't seem happily married but this doesn't mean that I want to jump him or what not. After more drinking and dart playing, I wanted to leave. We left together and he tried to kiss me in the parking lot! Here's the thing, (a) I'm not attracted to him (b) he's married and (c) he has a kid - this is a bad combo, I'm not in the allusive state where I believe I am so amazing that someone will leave their wife to be with me and I'm not in the state where I believe that sympathy sex with someone I've just met is a good idea. To top it off, I complained about the other dude from last week calling me on my cell while I was at work and he had the nerve to call me the next day!

I am NOT one of those people that likes their significant other calling when they are trying to work - my day is busy enough with out having to make meaningless chit chat. To add injury to the wound, he says "Don't call me on my cell - ONLY at work." Ummm, dirty secret again? I'll pass.

Tonight is a fundraiser for one of the organizations I'm on the board for and I've been somewhat hoodwinked into going. I'm not overly thrilled with the organization right now, but a friend offered a free ticket to schmooze with. In honesty, I'd much rather hit the gym or the bar after work then schmooze with more people in my industry. Still haven't finalized my plans on attending, we'll see how the day plays out.

I'm majorly aching for some shopping right now. I'm sick of my tired outfits and need to soup up the old closet a bit. The only thing is that pesky annoyance of realizing that the money used on shopping would be better suited to go into an account for moving out - still some sexy shoes and a new cute top are calling my name. Decisions, decisions.

The pierced tounge guy called three times at 3am this morning. In honesty, I was up just not in the mood to pick up knowing he was drunk. Why does someone call, leave a voicemail, hang up and call back twice more? Well, I guess because they are drunk and wanting to get some. I couldn't even understand 1/2 of his message, but it involved "you're probably still out ..." ????? I work out every morning before work, which means I am up at a standard of 4am - really not going out till 2 and only getting a couple hours of sleep. I'm getting too old for that sort of lifestyle.

More ramblings include that I'm trying to teach myself dreamweaver right now because I want to personalize my blog a bit more instead of the regular templates. Not having much luck with that, just getting tired of tutorials I guess.

Guess I should get back to working, or at least working on trying to see my desk again. The boys play hockey at noon today, I may just hop in the car and drive past the malls and day dream ... sweet, sweet day dreams.

Pink

I just watched the making of the video for "Stupid Girls" by Pink. Here's what I like most about her:

(1) The media critiques her in shape figure (a size 8 or 10) as "fat" then turns around and judges people like Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Ritchie and Mary Kate Olsen on having eating disorders. If you have an issue with skin and bones then praise the people that have nice figures and are in shape!

(2) The majority of her music and music videos critique society including image issues.

(3) She makes me proud to not be a blonde bimbo.

That's my insight for today. I in no way blame the media for image issues that teenagers face, but it's nice for some one to critique our culture in a positive way. It's OKAY to like sports, to drink beer and to bear a mid-drift when you're muscular and not think six-packed. But in another breath, I would like to pick up the new Vanity Fair (being aware of ultimate retouching) with all new naked celeb photos.

In other news, my left-over cat is depressed which makes him extremely cuddley lately but resorting to "kitten" tactics, like sucking and neading certain fabrics or standing up on your leg and mew-ing (not his grown up meow). It makes me sad and the nightmares of my poor other cat have not disappeared yet. We'll see with time.

Amazing things only words can say

I had a biopsy today - something I've had every year for three years, not fun - but no longer scary. Until ....

This is kind of gross for the weak hearted, but so much of the part that was biopsied is gone they can no longer guarantee it won't be hard for me to get pregnant. Chances are I'll miscarry. What's worse is, depending on the results - I can't continue having these procedures done - the end result will have to be a hysterectomy to stop everything. And, I have to see a breast surgeon.

My mom called my dad to "remind" him that I was having the procedure done - to which he claimed no knowledge of (of course) - he didn't even bother to see how I was until I came home a couple minutes ago. The conversation went "How was your procedures." "Fine. Fine but not good." "Oh, Okay." I went into my "home." Pissed off, I went back upstairs. "Not - Oh, okay. I might not be able to have kids and I have to see a breast surgeon." "Oh." "Not 'Oh' Dad - you blew me off when I told you this saying it wasn't serious. Well ..." "Well, I guess it is serious now." Yup.

The nice thing that words can do, however, is realize the extent someone will go for you. When my mom told my sister, she said "no big deal. I can carry her baby." I had always assumed since this all started that she would - but there's a difference when someone says the words to make them reality.

Words can be a nice gesture.

Four Things

Four Things

I got tagged by BZ, who got tagged by Loremaster Alec, who got tagged by Nutz, who got tagged by MCatt, who got tagged by Alice, who got tagged by Dweeze, so here are my answers:

Four jobs I've had:
1. Account Coordiantor at an Advertising Agency
2. Manager at a popular chain restaraunt
3. Volunteer Call Center at a Classified Ad newspaper
4. Carnival Worker

Four movies I can watch over and over:

1. What Dreams May Come
2. Sweetest Thing
3. Dogma
4. Jay & Silent Bob

Four Places I have lived:

1. Milwaukee, WI
2. St Louis, MO
3. Franklin, WI
4. Greenfield, WI

Four Shows I love:

1. CSI
2. Related
3. Dancing with the Stars
4. Lost

Four highly-touted TV shows I detest:

1. Bachelor
2. Friends
3. Survivor
4. Real World

Four books I'd recommend to anyone, anytime:

1. Chronicles of Narnia
2. He's Just Not That Into You
3. Sisters & Brothers
4. Classical Mythology

Four places I have vacationed:

1. New York, New York
2. Vegas, NV
3. Nassau, Bahamas
4. Iron Mountain, MI

Four of my favorite dishes:

1. Grilled Zucchini
2. Chicken Parmigina
3. Broccoli & Cheese Soup
4. Bagel & Garden Vegetable Cream Cheese

Four sites I visit daily:

1. Blogger
2. Google
3. Yahoo
4. Hotmail

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. New York
2. Italy
3. Bar
4. Bar

And I'm tagging:

1. Darthimmortal
2. Neo
3. Dia
4. daynad228

Hiatous Sounding Pretty Good

*sigh* I'm seriously considering take some time off from any interaction with the opposite sex. This psycho dude from Wednesday night has made me want to swear off all men at all times - I honestly don't think I'd be open to even messing around with any of the numbers!

Update on all the dudes in my life:
#1 - He's been cranky with me, we are supposed to go out tomorrow - not sure we will.
#2 - Haven't talked to in two months.
#3 - Can trip on his pierced dick and die :)
#4 - THANK GOD, no interaction!
#5 - Buddy, probably mad at me right now. These days I can't tell.
Mr. D - Dead in the water. Hasn't called or talked to me basically since the awesome Saturday night fiasco.
Psycho Guy: See above. I may become a lesbian.
Pierced Tounge Guy: Called at 2am yesterday ... gee what could that mean? B-O-O-T-Y C-A-L-L, no thanks - I'll pass.

When it's spelt out like that - kindda makes it seem like I've had an active relationship life, but really folks - it's all words and not much glamour.

Count Down to the Weekend

I love Fridays, the anticipation of leaving work and not coming back over the weekend is thrilling. I start listing all the things I want to do over the weekend, only to throw them out as the time comes.

I'm hoping today is a no disaster kind of day. The guys at work are playing hockey over lunch, I'm going to extend my lunch hour and hit the gym and the bank. I've already signed up for an evening session at the gym, but I always feel better when I come back and lately I haven't been extending that extra effort there.

Here's also hoping that my father leaves me alone this weekend. Earlier this week he asked me if I would be interested in doing his books - I told him that I honestly wasn't. He quipped that he pays me more than my job and I should do it. This kills me. On one hand he complains that I always say yes to things and I need to start saying no - then when I do, he lays on the load of my situation. I told him that I really wasn't interested - then he told me I needed to check my attitude.

On Wednesday night I was getting ready to go out when he called (Yes, called - I was in the basement and he was up stairs) and he asked me when I was planning on paying rent and "reminded" me that I needed to do his books and wanted to know when. Lovely, lovely, lovely. He will find a way to weasel out of paying me mind you and I have to deal with at least 6hrs of interactions with him, him scruitinizing my every entry and every inch of my life. It's no wonder I'm so miserable.

So the weekend has technicallly been laid out for me - Saturday I'll do his books, Sunday is the Super Bowl and I'm gambling with my mom for awhile. #1 mentioned going out last Saturday, but I'll assume that isn't going to happen since he's never been good at keeping with plans and I'm not sure I should even go out since I'll be beaten to hell by my dad during the day. Therefore if we do go out and I drink, it'll be the holy hell fire of emotions again.

I was pleasantly surprised that I miscalculated my raise on my check this week by about $50.00, that means I may be able to buy some groceries this week and that it eases up my tight budet a bit. That $50.00 will start collecting in my FU fund to get out of that damn basement and back to independent life.

The heart pounding-hands shaking-please don't let me even smell a beer kind of morning

I went out to see a buddy of mine bowl since it was our bye week - it was interesting. Ended up at an old bar I used to hang out with (sans the original friend - but I was there with two new ones). Funny how little corner bars don't change in three years...

Anyhow - met two guys, nothing to call home about, but I was all for the attention. I watched my beer intake, occassionally switching to water because buzzed driving, is drunk driving.

This is a slight side note but ... I go through girl stages, I wear skirts and carry purses and then I switch to jeans/tshirt/put my cash in my pocket phases. I'm in the second, not girl, stage. This comes into play here ...

So, I occassionally have something to do and will leave my cell phone & keys unattended on a table, this is a mistake - the two kindly gentlemen that I was hanging out with last night got my phone number from it.

Both would be great to hang out with - one would be great to make out with. The non-make out guy has reached CRAZY levels. Since 8:00 this morning (it's 11:30) he's text messaged 26 times and left two voicemails. No matter my responses of "I'm at work - very busy" he still is persistant. Finally I text messaged him, "Listen - bowling hanging out is fine and let's leave it at that" - he text messages back "I see where I stand." You went from having a chance to go out with me to being psycho - not good in a 3 1/2 hour period. Better to find out now.

The other dude has a tounge ring. After the dick ring, I wasn't so sure I wanted piercings in my mouth - but I still kissed him at the end of the night and it was an okay kiss. We shall see, he is a youngin'

So, with three hours of sleep and a slight hang over I'm thinking perhaps it's best for everyone involved if I take a hiatus from dating/making out because it doesn't seem to lead to good things - just psycho messages.

How sad to google ...

A little brief history for those of you not into classical stories or Brad Pitt buff and naked. When Achilles met with his mother before leaving for the Trojan War he was posed this question, "You can choose to live out a life of nothing and be happy forever, yet no one will remember you except your kin - and that will only be for a few generations or you can fight this war and live forever in the stories, countless people will mutter the name Achilles."

Achilles (if you didn't already know) chose a short life so that his name would live on; however, upon evaluation of his former he chose his next one to be a farmer and live a long life - short of being infamous in history.

So nowadays we can see who is infamous or not on a little website called "google." We've all done it, typed in our names or someone else's to see what we could find. How sad it is when the search pulls up nothing. It's then when you take a deep breath and resign yourself to do something that will be noticed by the web searchers, something grand, something that makes a searcher double take and think - damn, good call on her.

Right now google shows nothing for me - but by the end of the year, I resign myself to a grand venture that will get me noticed.

The blah, blah, blahs

Nothing overly thrilling to report.

I texted messaged Mr. D who is apparently feeling like crap still - I offered soup, no response. Ah, guess that's done with.
Thankfully, have not been in communication with the lovely #1, that's just bad drama all over again.

Didn't get as much accomplished as I would have like yesterday, too much playing with the baby. Last night she kept throwing her head backwards to look at the cat - but ended up throwing her head on my knee. Her face turned bright red and my mom informed me to stand up right then and rock her. Oops, I'm getting maternal - just not all there yet.

Today is a fun filled day of not-much-work (thank god), a board meeting (get out of work early!) and taxes (yipee Mr. Refund). I've opted to have a day off of the gym, perhaps I will pop in the old yoga tape (yes, TAPE - that's how old) and do a little meditating tonight.

I've also decided I'm over the bar scene-guy deal. I don't want to get drunk every night - I want REAL dates. I guess I need to find a REAL man first ...