I had a biopsy today - something I've had every year for three years, not fun - but no longer scary. Until ....
This is kind of gross for the weak hearted, but so much of the part that was biopsied is gone they can no longer guarantee it won't be hard for me to get pregnant. Chances are I'll miscarry. What's worse is, depending on the results - I can't continue having these procedures done - the end result will have to be a hysterectomy to stop everything. And, I have to see a breast surgeon.
My mom called my dad to "remind" him that I was having the procedure done - to which he claimed no knowledge of (of course) - he didn't even bother to see how I was until I came home a couple minutes ago. The conversation went "How was your procedures." "Fine. Fine but not good." "Oh, Okay." I went into my "home." Pissed off, I went back upstairs. "Not - Oh, okay. I might not be able to have kids and I have to see a breast surgeon." "Oh." "Not 'Oh' Dad - you blew me off when I told you this saying it wasn't serious. Well ..." "Well, I guess it is serious now." Yup.
The nice thing that words can do, however, is realize the extent someone will go for you. When my mom told my sister, she said "no big deal. I can carry her baby." I had always assumed since this all started that she would - but there's a difference when someone says the words to make them reality.
Words can be a nice gesture.
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4 comments:
Doctors can always be wrong, we will all be praying that you have an army of kids pour forth from your still mostly intact womb at some point in the future!
*huggs* I don't know you that well, but I already have love for you, girl. I pray everything goes according to God's plan.
Not such an army but the prayers are thanked for!
I feel so bad and I am so sorry. Just know that you are in my thoughts.
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