Birth Order

Some times I think I went into the wrong business. I'm very inate at reading people and I belive strongly in personlaity differences based on sex, birth order and past experiences. I also think that your "sign" both Chinese and Zodiac effects you. Sometimes I wish that I had been a therapist because I think I'm very good at relating to people and allowing them to share thier thoughts (though the opposite is not always true - hence the anonymous blog as my outlet).

Anyhow, woke up this morning as usual to go to the gym. The last couple of days I've scoped out the pubs at the health club and there's nothing that interesting - except the three month old smut pubs, but I've already read about the gossip in other places, so I stopped at the local Walgreens to pick up some new reading material (and lip gloss, just in case I go out tonight). Disappointed, they didn't have the new Cosmo so I went with the second hand cosmo that is still smutty, but a little more cluttered - Complete Woman.

To my surprise there is an article on birth order, I wish they went into a little more detail, but it was pretty interesting. If you're not familiar here's the basics...

As the first born (which I am not) you are better at leading and like to have responsibility. This person normally has an innate sense of entitlement. IN MY RESEARCH: I've also found that first borns like to bend the rules a bit and our best in relationships to last borns and are REALLY not compatible with only children. The like to feel in control and are used to being the center of attention, so they need to hold steadily in that place.

As the middle child (ding, ding, ding!) you are a peace-maker in your family, are not used to getting their way and enjoy team associated work. IN MY RESEARCH: and in being one myself, they are overachievers because they feel that they lacked approval growing up. They also are overly concerned with people liking them and will take responsibility for anyone not liking them.

As the younger child, they are usually a bit more rambuncious, self-centered and are good sales people. IN MY RESEARCH: I've also found that they will do anything to get the attention of anyone - they are complete spotlight hogs.

Just a little FYI.

Hoping for plans tonight ...

I do not want to sit at home this weekend, the one bad thing about taking myself off of match is that now NO ONE is calling. I really want to practice bowling now that I am on the league for work - I think that could be very grade school fun followed up with my sex-drive being crazy right now so very post-college fun!

Stupid Ex-Boyfriends!

So I'm at work, minding my own business, logged on to MSN during lunch and guess who's on? My ex-boyfriend (the one in reference to #3). He's on a lot, occassionally he emails me his pathetic "I screwed it all up - I still want to be friends" BS, last time it was what gave #3 a huge guilt complex about kissing me.

Anyhow, at lunch here's the conversation ...

Stupid: "How's it going"

Stupider (me): "Fine. You?"

Stupid: "I have a great job, doing what I like, making good money. I'm getting happy." (Okay, I'm short cutting because he's a HORRIBLE speller) "You?"

Me: "Still at same job, working out a lot" (AKA, I'm hot you dumb f*ck)

Stupid: "Yeah, Blah Blah started up a company with 2 million dollars, I have to drive a bit - but I love it, so I don't mind. We have three clients .... more on about myself and how I'm so great ..."

Me: "Good. I'm glad you're happy."

Stupid: "Getting there."

Me: "Good."

Stupid: "So when can I take you out for a drink or a (serious - this is the spelling) byte to eat?"

Me: "When/where?" (OH IDIOT! NOW HE'S GOING TO TELL #3!)

Stupid: "What are you doing this weekend?"

Me: "Actually, it probably isn't a good idea"

Stupid: "Milwaukee Girl, I'm just trying to get our friendship back"

Me: "We never had a friendship and we've been done almost two years. Listen, I'm trying to start off the new year right, I only want people in my life that are concerned about me - not what I can do for them. No offense, but I don't see a benefit in us being 'friends.'"

Stupid: "I value your friendship and honesty - that's why I want to hang out. But, fine, I will respect your choice to no longer have you in my life - I know I was a jerk, but I deserve a chance"

Me: "We WEREN'T friends. And you can tell by your tone that it's still all about you. Look, there's a point in some people's lives were choices have to be made. I told you a million times that I will never be mean to you or ignore you if I see you, but that doesn't mean we have to 'hang out.' I really wish you the best in your future and I hope you find someone who makes you happy and likes you for who you are and I'd hope you'd wish the same for me." (AKA tell #3 it's okay to be with me ...)

Silence.

Me: "Listen, I'm not trying to offend you - just being honest."

MSN: "I'm sorry, the person you were talking to has logged off."

So much for that, "I wish you happiness too." crap I was hoping for.

I was having a semi-decent day, but now I could really go for a cocktail. Screw the gym tonight, I'll work off the calories with my purple friend in hopes of releasing this pent-up energy. And more so, SCREW not smoking, I'm enjoying a cancer stick right about now.

Does this reaction mean I'm not over him? Because I really believe that I am - I think it's just frustration on my end that this dude screwed me over and is STILL screwing me over because I can't be with the one guy that is semi-good for me because he's a dumb a** choir boy!

STUPID PIERCED DICK!

Friday the 13th ...

I am really superstitious, which means the crazy people come out in the bucket loads tonight, so I do believe I will be staying home tonight.

Speaking of crazy people ... have you ever noticed that you can check people's profiles on your MSN messenger? I thought I'd check on Mr. D for a little background info ---- his profile was marked "adult content - must be 18 to enter" Hmmm? Turns out MSN erased the profiles of people on January 1st with this kind of marking. It said it included "adult visuals & language." This scares me a bit - perhaps he didn't think I'm easy, maybe he's just trying to break into the porn industry...

In my downtime last night, I started thinking about vices people have (right after the adult content search) - I admit I have alot of them, most of them I should probably ditch but I don't go head over heels for a good portion - so I think I'm okay. I enjoy smoking, drinking, sex, center-of-attention, caffine and gambling. What I don't enjoy is drugs - i think that's the only vice I'm missing. Food for thought.

I've decided to start a weightloss blog - check it out in links! Let me know if you're interested in joining, we may be states away but that doesn't mean that we can't be weightloss buddies!

Post Review Post

Review went fairly well today, now is the big decision to stay or go... I did get a raise, a little less than I had hoped but being that I wasn't going to get one at all it makes me extremely happy! The next couple weeks is the waiting game to see what's going on with the other job and what their decision will be in the future.

Booked Vegas, officially, this week! What a great town - feeds into all my vices, smoking, drinking and sex. Of course, I'm going with my mom so I don't indulge in the sex vice, but hey! better to at least get two of them in there!

Weightloss is going well, I think I'll start a blog journal. My goal is 30 lbs by summer, I will look awesome in a swimsuit! I've finally realized that the weightloss is really paying off, my clothes are so big on me now - as soon as the raise kicks in I'm getting some new ones and finding a tailor to take in my favorite old pieces!

I don't think liking Mr. D was a good idea, but we'll see where that goes. The teacher dude left a VM that I promptly deleted before listening to it and then sent a follow up email that I did the same to. I don't think I'm quite ready to take that leap yet. Haven't heard from any of the others, which is good because I'm way too busy to answer those calls!

Beer Hang Over

I'm pretty sure a beer hang over is worse than a mixed drink or martini one, but not quite as bad as a wine one. Holy crap does my head hurt. There went the goal of not drinking.

Went out with a friend from work and Mr. D last night. Turns out I really kind of like him ... that's a new one for me. In the process, he made sure my beer glass was never empty and my friend had to drive home, stopping a couple of times to let me throw up (gross ...) Guess I should have ate before I went.

Not enough hours in the day ....

(Deep Breath). It's probably a good thing that there are not more than 24 hours in a day, because if there was - say, 36 - we'd all have no lives, but sometimes deadlines are a pain in the ass.

Besides being crazy busy and trying to get my pro-bono work done, not to mention my phone ringing like crazy and trying to decide if the gym is a good idea tonight and why I stopped drinking .... the day is going pretty well. I could use a nap. They should really treat adults like pre-schoolers and give us a 30 minute nap in the afternoon, oh wait - that's the lunch hour, something I haven't taken in around three months now.

On one hand, I may have a new job on the horizon, which would be good - but the new job with no benefits type of job. At least it'll give me resume power and I could actually get a bartending job at nights to help support myself. We'll see how that review, that I have yet to prepare for, goes on Wednesday morning.

My usual Monday nights include going to the gym then high tailing it to the stomping grounds with laptop in hand for a little post-work, work. Post-work, work is the pro-bono stuff I was rambling about earlier. I've invited Mr. Delafield (who I'll refer to as Mr. D from now on) out for a cocktail, but on second thought - do I really want him to know what a compulsive worker I am.

Two weeks ago, I enjoyed a chat with the fellow next to me at the bar. Our conversation included whether or not I was a Type A or Type B personality. I told him that three years ago I was a Type A-going-to-have-a-heart-attack by 25 Type A. These days, I thought I was a Type B, more relaxed and passive. He told me that the laptop after hours (especially since I started work at 7am and it was now 9pm) was a clear giveaway that I was still a Type A. Now, I realize he was right. Even though I'm past 25 and have not had a heart attack, I wouldn't be surprised if it hit with in the next five years.

I guess I should put the blog down and get back to work...

Do we get easier as we get older?

As you can see, my day has been quite boring and when this happens I think a lot.

Here's my latest ponder. As we get older, do we get easier? Case in point, remember the first interaction you had with a person you were attracted to. You told all your friends, "We held hands ..." they were in awe and now they look at you like a crack fien or question whether he's straight. Then when you get a little older, you kiss on the first date and that's a pretty good step. A bit years later, there's a good chance that a good date is at least your shirt is off and by the time you're in your late twenties there's a good chance you're ready to give it up in some way on the first date.

So why do we get easier as we get older? I think you realize time is precious and perhaps you don't want to waste the next months on a poor kisser or a bad lay - so we want to do it right away, just to see.

True or no?

Who needs a man?

I have a cat. Actually, I have two. Both abandoned presents from ex-boyfriends. The littlest one, just over a year, I didn't even want. Turns out he was the one good thing that came out of dating the old guy.

You see, he is absolutely the dumbest thing on the planet (the cat, not the ex - wait, no the ex too)- but he's a good boy. This cat is such a man it's ridiculous - he doesn't even sleep with his legs closed and when it's warm he likes to put his "manly" parts right in front of the air conditioner to cool off.

As I spend time relaxing at home, I'm getting anxious to go. I wanted to listen to music and country is the only station playing music videos right now. So now I'm just sitting here getting depressed. At that very moment, my little boy cat happily runs and jumps on the bed, head butts me and purrs, then promptly lays on his back, legs wide open and sleeps. This makes me think - he's the only boy I've slept next to in a year and a half - and hey, he's the best damn boy that I've ever slept next too.

So on that note, who needs a man when I have this cat? LOL.

High School Work Out

This is in an earlier post - but so you don't have to look back, I'll recap.

When I was 18 I was engaged to the guy I dated through out high school. Not the best material - made me feel like crap about my body and convinced me I would never find anyone to love me so I should stay with him. Now, outside persona, everyone loved him and agreed I would never do any better. I kicked our dual drug addiction at 18 after three years of smoking, snorting and injencting and went away to college clean with a friend who never knew about my habits.

My friend and I were extremely close, the three of us always hung out and she adored him. She met a nice guy in college, and they hooked up. Our three some became a four some and all was good. At the end of my freshman year, my boyfriend told me that I had to go to the local college - or lose him. Completely entagled in his web, I couldn't lose him and went to UW-Milwaukee.

He had horrible spending habits so I worked two jobs to help pay his debt and went to school fulltime. One of my jobs was right behind the apartment we shared. One day, burnt out and sick, I got sent home from work. I walked up the hill into our little two bedroom apartment and into our room to lay down. There he was butt naked with a girl from work, screwing her doggy style. He stopped only to get out of her, her to hide in MY comforter and behind MY pillows to tell me it wasn't what it looked like. I went back to work and was consoled by my friends to end the relationship.

I decided I couldn't be engaged any longer a month after the incident and returned the ring that I bought to him. I recounted the story to my high school friend and college buddy only to have her side with him. Five years of friendship down the toilet. We haven't spoke since.

So this morning I go to the gym and after three magazines and 45 on the bike, I go to start my normal weight routine. I walk past the bike on the end and there she sat. I don't know if she saw me, but my blood boiled. Here, at my gym? And then, on top of it, she looked great (but I didn't see a ring in my quick one over so that bit made me happy). So the whole time I watched what she did - I did 15 more on the bike, three more reps of 25 then she did on the weights, 5 lbs heavier than her load. She inspired me to look better than she did.

We exchanged no words, though I'm positive she saw me. Part of me wanted to rekindle our lost friendship, the other part kept quiet, secretly hoping she'd be there tomorrow to whip my ass in shape. The quiet part won and my butt hurts (literally).

So raise your glasses to high school style work outs and a new three month deadline to drop twenty and take racy photographs of myself in a little bikini over a rock! Cheers, cheers!

Where's the coffee?

Yesterday turned out to be a semi decent day. A campaign I worked on turned out great - usual redemption is 5%, we were aiming for 20%, instead we got 99%! That was awesome, great ammo to go into on Wednesday for my review.

Mr. D text messaged me yesterday, I returned his call and we talked for a good 45 minutes. I take that back, I talked for a good 45 minutes and he listened. Maybe I do like him ... He was going to a party, I was going home to relax and celebrate my day by myself (he didn't know this - but with my little purple friend ...). I told him to drunk dial and we talked at 2am, I couldn't sleep - he was being a drunk schmoozer - but not 1/2 that bad at it, so I just took the complements. #3 and I bantered, though nothing came of it, even though I hoped. I just have to realize that it's never going to happen - no matter how many people say he's right, no matter how many times the chemistry takes over, it's just not going to happen. I will not be someone's dirty little secret. I'll be dirty, just not a secret. No word form #1.

I've been ignoring the teacher - just not my thing, perhaps I should be woman enough to tell him? But he's a creepy, stalker type vibe guy and I'd be afraid, very afraid.

In another news, I'm pretty sure that I may have gotten caught in my moment last night. Major downfall to living in your dad's house is that he doesn't respect your area (even when you are paying $425 in rent ...), so he wanders. It was 10 - everyone was in bed and it had been a good day, I deserved a little home-spun loving. So as the sweet humming was going and I was reaching my climax, the shuffle of feet and a faint, "what?" was heard which ended what was sure to be an amazing orgasm. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Last night I was supposed to go to the gym, but just didn't make it there - instead I chowed on a subway sub. Guess I better pack that bag and high tail it right about now - but not until I get my coffee, got a distinct feeling today is a day I'm going to need it.

Don't feel like working ...

Can you tell I don't feel like working? Thank goodness I brought my laptop to work so they can't trace back to me - just to cover basis I'm stealing the internet from the design firm upstairs.

Well I officially signed off and hide my profile on match - sending all the mr.potentials my "real" email. Even sent a "Last Chance" email to the ex. Told him that he looked good, I was high tailing it off of match because I thought it sucked and that I'd hoped we could see eachother. Told him I still hang at our old stomping ground, if he ever needs a drink and I'm there - I'll buy. Aren't I sweet?

Also (because I'm a bad girl! someone spank me! - wait, resolution) - text messaged #3 our little game we play and he bit on it. Not the type of biting I'd like, ie setting up another time we could see eachother but maybe he's not feeling so guilty about our misadventures and I can try this piercing thing out one last time (or multiple times - my excuse is we are friends, technically a "committed" relationship - no?). Actually, let's be honest - the truth is I haven't actually ho-ed around that much and if I'm going to put a notch in my lipstick case (go Pat Benatar!), it better be on more than one occassion - plus I'm a good kisser, I'm a good lay, I give great head - all three of which were terribly off that night and I don't need that reputation!

I don't know what was up the last few days, but I'm starting to feel a bit more comfortable in my old shoes again. My sense of worth is back a bit too which is nice. Something I forgot to post about new years, was that at one point he asked what I was thinking - and I told him honestly, damn my legs look good! As I was at the gym this morning I stood in my towel and thought the same thing for the first time since the "event." Just no tequila - that crap holds water like there's no tomorrow.

Side note: I'm a big fan of magazines, at one point, I will open up my own and fill it with "real" woman who write all my stories and not the "lose the flab - feel fab" bullshit I keep reading in the pubs these days. Well, I was browsing through Ad Age's supplement this month and they had a write up on one of the co-founders of a new pub called Tango. It's about relationships, I signed up to get it so I'll let you all know what I think.

Rambling, rambling, rambling. Must be the combination of the nicotine and caffine (I'm doing better smoking, I swear!)

TGIF!

Thank god it's Friday cupcake! Geez. This week went by pretty fast; however, I'm glad it's the weekend.

I've decided to ditch match.com - I've had three potential guys, not worth the money - let me tell you! I've decided I will email all of them today (including the ex that never emailed me back) with my normal information and then get the high hell out of there! That's what I get for believing love could be found online.

Still no word from #3, I'm toying with the idea of texting him today one of our normal flirtations, but the fear of not getting a response is killing me. I should just do it. I'm sick of the teacher - don't call me 40 times a day dude! You don't drink, smoke or have sex - no interest. Mr. Delafield sent me a rather snotty email and I'm over that.

#1 text messaged me last night, that he knows I don't want him in my life but he's there to talk if I need it. The funny thing is that I do miss him a bit - but it's so hard to distance yourself from someone like him and it just perpetuates the situation. Hmmm. What to do? I'm not at all attracted, yet keep going back. It's not like BZ's Mr. Big (I think #3 fits that category) - it's more like an insane addiction of hope that someone at some point could want me.

The not drinking thing has been going pretty well (minus tequila on Wednesday) and the smoking this is really cut back. I've been doing the AM/PM gym thing, so sticking with that and have not gotten any since the New Year's incident. Overall, I think that the resolution thing is still going well - then again, we are only on day six.

I researched Canada again last night, I'm not sure if I could pull it off or not. Better wait and save some dough - which leds to getting an additional job or getting a new one. Review is next Wednesday, so maybe the money situation will be okay. Who knows these days?

The month of yes is a crock of ----. I've opted to not do it now - too many complications and no more destructive relationships!

I probably screwed myself from getting any this weekend, shaved this morning at the gym - a girl can dream can't she?

Tequila ....

Wow, tequila is not my friend. I have effectively avoided it since my 22nd Birthday - but last night was girls night and margaritas it was. Mr. Delafield is not so happy - I was supposed to meet him out, but ended up being too drunk and too tired to even call. I think this is my way of saying I'm not quite ready for a relationship. I'm toying with the idea of nix-ing myself off of match as to not be put in this position again. I think it's time since I fear even listening to my voicemails, knowing one of these lovely gentleman are not so happy with me at the moment. Eek.

Checking out jobs in Canada

I love Canada - I think it's a great place and I at some point have wanted to live and work up there for awhile. I've decided that perhaps that time is now. I checked out a bunch of jobs last night and am toying with the idea of applying.

I see this as a bit of a cop-out, running away from the little mess that I've made out of my life lately. But, it's also a complete chance of starting over, re-inventing myself. It's either this or go back to school, which isn't out of the question after dishing out a whooping $650 for student loans this month (hello deferment!).

Hey Buddy, I'm not easy!

Despite my rather randy post on New Years - I am not an easy chick; however, I'm starting to think that Mr. Other Night thinks that I am. He's feeling quite jadded that I didn't attempt to do more with him - but I'm not that type of girl, nor do I behave in public as that kind of girl (in private - once I get to know someone - I am that kind of girl).

I am so cranky today that I might just email him that. What do you think of that now kitten? The day is dragging and I can't wait to high tail it out of here and get to the gym to get this aggression out. Boxing match anyone? I think I need to cool off in the jacuzzi awhile. Deep breath.

Update on resolutions - so far so good, but who can really screw that up in only three days. I've decided (not as a resolution, just as a "new me") that I'm not going to drink anymore and I'm getting rid of the smoking with in the next couple of weeks. Time to be a good girl for real and not just pretend to be.

Four grueling hours left at work ...

Oh - There's that ego.

I've been questioning why I bothered with match at all this past month - but I haven't acted on it at all. Now, I realize why.

Last night I enjoyed myself - but still had conflicting feelings, questioning why I was doing what I was doing when I knew I wanted to be with #3 - but here I am making out with a new guy wishing it was the other one. Then it all seems to make sense when I got out of the gym and got a voicemail. The guy from last night tells me I exceeded his expectations and he had a great time. It was instant gratification, no wondering like I do with #3 to see if his conscious kicked in or not. Am I over #3? No. Am I ready to move on? No. Should I wait? No. I've waited over two years and all I get is conflicting feelings - it's time to let him know that I'm done waiting.

So my ego is back - I am sexy, I am wanted by other people. Now I'm excited to move on.

The first of the month of yes ...

The hardest part about last night was the complications with #3. It's so hard to say no to a destructive relationship when you know it's right - but it isn't. I screwed that up with my impatient nature. So here started the first date of the month of yes.

A guy from Delafield - a pretty much cutie pie - asked me out. I said yes (teacher didn't respond earlier today) because, it is the month of yes. We met at my favorite stomping ground - turns out he's actually a decent guy. I didn't flirt, I behaved - even with two huge beers in me. My thoughts drifted to the night before, no matter how his stare penetrated my eyes. Then he told me, "You know, you were wrong - your best feature is your eyes." Something I always thought and always said the guy who said it would capture my heart - and there it was, something #3 has never said. I took a deep breath and let myself go.

We went to another favorite stomping ground - which the bartender commented on how good I look - that made him smile, like yes - that's my date. He told me that I had a kick ass body, which I felt last night with #3 but the words were never spoken. I felt sexy with him, but never heard the words and here they were.

He had one too many beers (buzzed driving is drunk driving kids) and I kissed him to see what was there. I was the aggressor and it was a decent kiss. He called me five minutes later to say the biggest turn on was that I kissed him in the rain. It made me feel wanted.

No destructive relationships. I made that promise, I need to let go - but it's so hard when you feel someone is s o right and is right there. Damn it!

The month of yes continues.

The Month of YES

Okay, I've got a couple weeks of match left - and as inspired by the delightful Glamour this past month - I have opted to do a month of yes. How does this work? Well let me explain.

A woman just wrote a book called "The Year of YES" - she dated everyone who asked her out, no matter who it was. Well, honestly, I pretty much do this with whoever I meet anyhow, but I've been not so into match since teh ex failed to email back - so .... I've decided that this month I will go out with everyone who asks - why? Because I've got terrible choices in men so this will open up my opportunities. So we will see how it will go and all will be reported here - of course.

So I'm trying my best to say no to the destructive behavior - but I couldn't help but joke with #3 that he owed me flowers but I'd let it slide - over text this morning. His response was he'd see what he could do - come on Milwaukee Girl - don't get your hopes up. No destructive relationship. No destructive relationship. No destructive relationship. The more I say it, the less I believe it.

And a one and a two ...

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

As you can see it is now 4AM Milwaukee time and I am up. I did a nice bang up job in self-destruct mode within the last 13 hours. Let's see ...

I met #1 out for drinks, which led to a bit of a romp (slight sex, but didn't go very far cuz slutty didn't have condoms) and led to a half dazed ride home that I was in classic self destruction mode. Let me explain ... this often happens about twice a year, when I realize I've done quite a bit to f*ck up things for myself. Right now, I'm still at a dead end job, no relationship and hadn't had sex for over a year. When I go out, I notoriously pick up the least available guy (for instance - gay) and try my best to be the ultra-cool, doesn't care chick - which doesn't work out to well for me.

Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that #1 and I have a shady past - but get along well and occassionally make out. However, we've been doing this for around 7 months now and he still hasn't fessed up to his buddies - he even opted for a holiday out tonight with a girl he hates over me. When I got the message I told him no more - I need to start the new year with someone who wants to really be with me. He decided, "Sorry, that's not us."

So fast forward to hours on the way up to #3's for some skiing - I decided to erase the horrible incident with #1, I might as well have sex with #3 (because it wasn't midnight yet ...). Well, everyone ditched on skiing so we watched a movie - he asked me 1/2 a dozen times if I needed anything, I kissed him to shut him up. We started messing around for a couple hours - harmless naked play, cuddling and talking a bit. He leaned over at midnight and kissed me - happy new year. But the clock had struck 12 which meant that my new years resolution to be in a relationship before I have sex was in play. I negotiated a bit and decided it wasn't 12 in California. After finishing the movie - we headed back into his room and attempted to have sex. See, he's HUGE and pierced, which made me hurt - I hadn't had sex in a year, give me a break. It didn't work, he asked me to get on top - I fessed up that I was in pain. We laid there and he said "Don't you want your clothes?" I said "Your naked" He said "But it's my house." Clue taken. Dressed and left at promptly 2:45 without even a walk to the door. On the way back, he text messages that he was sorry. Damn straight you are - but he doesn't know why he's sorry, I looked upset. Okay - we just had sex, granted you didn't get off and I'm bleeding because you freaking split me open - but you kicked me out of your house and treated me like trash, upset - a bit!

So, I've ended that destructive relationship and I've ended #1 which means I've completely crossed out all my numbers and wiped my slate clean. So resolution to add is to have NO MORE DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS.

On that note, I've done it - yes I have made the date with the teacher - my polar opposite. Why? You might ask. Because he's my polar opposite - which means not a destructive guy (at least at the moment). Also, we've entered the month of yes - which I will explain in greater detail after the gym tomorrow.