My stomache was in knots. The time I have been dreading since starting my new job in August had arrived. Here we were hosting an event and my old employer, as well as 2 others, were coming. Millions of things ran through my head - don't slip on the non-disclosure, be cordial but still explain why we're better, don't buy into the fake nice.
And sure enough the event started and only one was there. I went about my normal sales routine, sat quietly and began to watch the presentation. About 25 minutes in - they arrived. Of course, we were out of chairs so I hurried to get more to seat two butts that were not paying attention, just playing on iPhones and on computers. But I took a deep breath, I'm good at my job, it'll be fine.
And it was.
At the end I had a lot of class questions and I parlayed them as appropriately as possible. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her standing there, a fake "good to see you" and "nice space" followed, completely generic calls for our industry. I went back to my sell. The other girl who works for her was also there - "MG, don't know if you remember me ..." I stopped her short, "Thank you for coming girl-who-I-went-to-bat-for-when-they-weren't-sure-they-were-going-to-hire-you-and-was-followed-by-my-abrupt-"volunteer"-resignation, of course I remember you." Smiled, shook a hand and went back to business.
I pushed the fuel that burned in my belly out of my life, felt my shoulders relax and have decided that you all were right - it's time to move on. I can't shelter my reputation they so calously trashed by harboring angst, instead I explain simple things - my products are half their price and come with MORE instruction than they give. My facilitators are just as "experts" in their industry and are certified. My company is actually woman-owned and WBENC certified.
That is all for now! Follow my multi-daily updates at milwgirl on Twitter.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Oh yeah! Milwaukee Girl is on Twitter!
This should help me post more often - follow me on Twitter! milwgirl
Sunday, September 20, 2009
There's a little sunshine in a dark world.
I had to approach my dad for a loan and he echoed the same concerns as many of you. He did give me a little security blanket, of course at repayment terms that are more than a bank, but it works.
Then he sends me an email.
"I have an idea to help your credit. What's your score?"
Of course my score isn't that great, I estimate it for me and he returns the email almost instantly.
"I was going to buy a house. Maybe WE should by the house, they have that tax credit you know."
A house? Are you nuts? I'm already barely surviving. A year ago I was making over $50K. Now after a layoff and two job switches since, I'm suffering in just under $30,000. That's a big difference. That's a "I used to pay off my credit cards, now I make a bit over minimum payments" difference. He told me to talk to a loan agent.
The loan agent said that the credit would apply with my dad as the co-signer; however, just I have to be the primary and live in the home at least three years. If we get a duplex, only 1/2 of the cost applies to the home. So I need to spend at least $160,000 on the home. Because of my credit, I would need a healthy down payment and the credit applies the purchase during the 2008 tax season - so I can't count on it as the down payment.
I'm meeting with my dad to hear what he says about it. I think its basically going to come down to him buying the house and my rent covering the mortgage, and of course, turning over the $8K at tax time.
And I know the provision is that the BF can't live there. Funny, same thing I told my brother ...
Then he sends me an email.
"I have an idea to help your credit. What's your score?"
Of course my score isn't that great, I estimate it for me and he returns the email almost instantly.
"I was going to buy a house. Maybe WE should by the house, they have that tax credit you know."
A house? Are you nuts? I'm already barely surviving. A year ago I was making over $50K. Now after a layoff and two job switches since, I'm suffering in just under $30,000. That's a big difference. That's a "I used to pay off my credit cards, now I make a bit over minimum payments" difference. He told me to talk to a loan agent.
The loan agent said that the credit would apply with my dad as the co-signer; however, just I have to be the primary and live in the home at least three years. If we get a duplex, only 1/2 of the cost applies to the home. So I need to spend at least $160,000 on the home. Because of my credit, I would need a healthy down payment and the credit applies the purchase during the 2008 tax season - so I can't count on it as the down payment.
I'm meeting with my dad to hear what he says about it. I think its basically going to come down to him buying the house and my rent covering the mortgage, and of course, turning over the $8K at tax time.
And I know the provision is that the BF can't live there. Funny, same thing I told my brother ...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
What's a girl to do?
I feel like it's been written before and I'm just rewriting the past.
Girl meets boy, boy rapes girl financially, girl picks up the pieces but is left in shambles. When we got back from Vegas it turned out that the $1300 check from the BF bounced for his half of the expenses from August as well as his money for Vegas. And there's no money to replace it. From switching jobs I already was down a paycheck, I already took an advance. I'm living on $1100 a month for $1600 in bills. And then this.
The worst part is he doesn't even seem to want to fix the situation. When I ran into money troubles I sold my laptop, TV, DVD, Blue Ray, Video Game Systems, Furniture - until I virtually had no belongings to make sure I had rent - yet here he is the owner of a 52" TV and he won't even sell that. After not being able to get a loan or find a co-signer his answer is "Well, I'll just owe people money." That includes me - $2 grand now because we had to borrow $700 from my mom to cover rent.
A huge part of me says just walk away - hello 2005 when my ex sued me for the stupid debt I co-signed on. Huge part of me says get a part time job, owrk through it.
But this for a guy who doesn't want to marry me or have children.
Girl meets boy, boy rapes girl financially, girl picks up the pieces but is left in shambles. When we got back from Vegas it turned out that the $1300 check from the BF bounced for his half of the expenses from August as well as his money for Vegas. And there's no money to replace it. From switching jobs I already was down a paycheck, I already took an advance. I'm living on $1100 a month for $1600 in bills. And then this.
The worst part is he doesn't even seem to want to fix the situation. When I ran into money troubles I sold my laptop, TV, DVD, Blue Ray, Video Game Systems, Furniture - until I virtually had no belongings to make sure I had rent - yet here he is the owner of a 52" TV and he won't even sell that. After not being able to get a loan or find a co-signer his answer is "Well, I'll just owe people money." That includes me - $2 grand now because we had to borrow $700 from my mom to cover rent.
A huge part of me says just walk away - hello 2005 when my ex sued me for the stupid debt I co-signed on. Huge part of me says get a part time job, owrk through it.
But this for a guy who doesn't want to marry me or have children.
Friday, August 28, 2009
One Simple Word
Now that I'm back into the world of sales I've been doing a lot of networking. Last time I was pretty much single while networking, this time I'm pretty much not. I forgot how the dynamic changes.
On Tuesday I met a gentleman and connected with him on LinkedIn, a professional networking site. His response was only the word "dinner" including not being capitalized. I wouldn't have batted an eyelash at this in the past; however, now I'm wondering what exactly he means - like dinner as in date? I mean, I did mention my boyfriend several times when talking to him about our upcoming trip next week? Does he mean to network? That's a weird time to network...
Ugh! How do I respond?
In the meantime ... two of my dear friends are getting hitched this weekend and I'm very excited to go. My only "friend" wedding I attended was a good handful of years ago in Vegas - we won't mention how that turned out (WOS). These two are a great fit for eachother and I can't wait to celebrate. Granted, because money is not ideal we're camping for it. Turns out the Wisconsin weather is 52 degree high with rain tomorrow night. Yuck. Although I like the BF's reaction when I read off the weather, "CUDDLE!"
I've got a big week ahead of me - tomorrow's the wedding and our trip to Vegas is under a week away! Ah relaxation, I dream of you!
Because of my latest job switch I have exactly $20 to my name, which will be put into my gas tank for the trip up North (must remember to charge my digital camera ...). I haven't bought any new clothes for a good 6 months. My mom knows how hard its been since losing my job so she took me out shopping last night. I got 4 shirts (all on clearance!) and a pair of jeans for Vegas.
Of course, I'm not saving my new attire for the trip so I promptly put on my new jeans and a top for work this morning. I showered last night since networking started at 7:30 a.m. and woke up to the crazy curls that the BF so adores. His reaction, "Wow you look hot, I want to take you." My reaction? "Not right now." I know, shocking right?
Oh and to answer your question Anon from the other day - yes, about twice a week. To each his own.
On Tuesday I met a gentleman and connected with him on LinkedIn, a professional networking site. His response was only the word "dinner" including not being capitalized. I wouldn't have batted an eyelash at this in the past; however, now I'm wondering what exactly he means - like dinner as in date? I mean, I did mention my boyfriend several times when talking to him about our upcoming trip next week? Does he mean to network? That's a weird time to network...
Ugh! How do I respond?
In the meantime ... two of my dear friends are getting hitched this weekend and I'm very excited to go. My only "friend" wedding I attended was a good handful of years ago in Vegas - we won't mention how that turned out (WOS). These two are a great fit for eachother and I can't wait to celebrate. Granted, because money is not ideal we're camping for it. Turns out the Wisconsin weather is 52 degree high with rain tomorrow night. Yuck. Although I like the BF's reaction when I read off the weather, "CUDDLE!"
I've got a big week ahead of me - tomorrow's the wedding and our trip to Vegas is under a week away! Ah relaxation, I dream of you!
Because of my latest job switch I have exactly $20 to my name, which will be put into my gas tank for the trip up North (must remember to charge my digital camera ...). I haven't bought any new clothes for a good 6 months. My mom knows how hard its been since losing my job so she took me out shopping last night. I got 4 shirts (all on clearance!) and a pair of jeans for Vegas.
Of course, I'm not saving my new attire for the trip so I promptly put on my new jeans and a top for work this morning. I showered last night since networking started at 7:30 a.m. and woke up to the crazy curls that the BF so adores. His reaction, "Wow you look hot, I want to take you." My reaction? "Not right now." I know, shocking right?
Oh and to answer your question Anon from the other day - yes, about twice a week. To each his own.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Young, Psychotic Love.
Over the past year and a half I've taken my little brother in because I love him and he needed help to get to school (I'm on a bus line) and a bit of independence from my parents. After he got done with school he began working full time and I opened my 2nd floor of my house, my wallet and my heart to help him out. He went from 3 days a week to every day of every week living with me.
About 6 weeks ago he met a girl through a mutual friend. On their first date he needed a ride to see her, I told him I would but I had a big day the next day so he would need to take the bus. I laid down at 11:30 p.m. to go to bed. At 12:30 a.m. my phone rang, he missed the bus and needed a ride. So I picked him up.
About 2 weeks later I was getting ready for work in the bathroom when I noticed a suspicious bloody female product in my garbage can. Being the only female in the house I knew exactly what had happened. I cleaned up the mess and calmed myself, went to work. When I got home I had a civilized chat with my brother. I did not like people I did not know in my home. This girl was not allowed to be here overnight. He agreed.
Three days later I lay in bed and hear "squeak, squeak, squeak" along with small chit chat through the vent our rooms share. I calmly get out of bed and yell for him to come downstairs. "She's here again. She does NOT sleep over. I have not met her." He argues that he sleeps on the floor when she is over, I let him know that its a lie and it doesn't matter.
2 weeks later I'm hosting a rummage sale. I go into my attic, which is across from his room only to find both him and this girl in MY bed sleeping. He has broken the rules again and he has been caught in a lie. This time I'm pissed and I yell. I tell him that this is the last straw, if it happens again he can pack his bags and get out.
I still have yet to meet this woman.
Five days later I'm informed by my boyfriend's child that he saw my brother and his girlfriend in the morning. He joked how he snuck her in. My boyfriend mentions that he did see her and he acknowledged that he knew she was sleeping over. Because of this I feel like I cannot kick him out. I let my brother know, yet again, the behavior is not acceptable. Come to find out she was kicked out of her house and had no where to apparently go, if she couldn't come over she'd break up with him. I explain that its not acceptable in my home.
Thing are fine for the next few days, until I wake up in the morning and am greeted by another bloody pad in my garbage (chick doesn't even wrap it in toilet paper or try to hide it). I had enough, I was done. I grab my phone and text him that she was over again, he broke the rules and to get out. He responds that he and the girl broke up so it wouldn't happen again (because he would not give her money for cigarrettes). Upon coming home that evening still fuming, my boyfriend convinces me to give him one final shot, after all we do need a dogsitter. We place the final rules into place. He agrees by them.
It's 12:30 at night and I've just fallen asleep when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number, so I send it to voicemail. It calls four more times. I finally pick up ... its the Police Department and my brother's friends have reported that he is threatening suicide. They need to send a patrol.
I leave my room only to find my 23 year old brother inviting my boyfriend's 10 year old to join him on a trip to the gas station (it's 1:00 in the morning). I irrately tell the boy to get into his room and sleep while ordering my brother outside. We have a passionate conversation about how the cops are on the way and what an idiot he is. In the end the cops come and under their advice, he's driven to the looney bin.
The looney bin was full and six phone calls that made me get precisely 10 minutes of sleep before a 12 hour work day ask for him to be picked up. I refuse. My mom comes and gets him and has him pack everything at my house - he has been evicted.
In the meantime him and the girl get back together. I warn my mom that this is exactly the girl to get pregnant on purpose and my brother is enough of an idiot to get her pregnant. His girlfriend calls him on Friday to see her - her uncle has just hit her and she's afraid. So he lies and says he will be by another friend's house. He gets a hotel and spends the weekend with her. He calls my mom 2 days later to inform her that he again, will not be home. She throws a fit. He admits that he is sneaking around with her. She tells him that he is to come home tonight or he can never return. Finally 3 hours later he calls her to pick him up. He informs her that he has broken up with her (she told him if he didn't stay she would break up with him).
The next day comes and goes with little rumbling until his phone bill gets checked (he shares a plan with my parents and was now 200 minutes over the limit for all 3 of them). It turns out that he indeed had lied again and was speaking, rather often, to his girlfriend. On Tuesday my mom and him have it out and he informs her that he lied about having sex - and the girl is pregnant.
This red flags to me as I was the one cleaning up the bloody pad that my dog plucked out of the garbage just one week before this fiasco meaning that she most likely was not pregnant a week ago. And if she had gotten pregnant since - I mean, she's only under a week along. I share this concern with my mom who share it with him. "Well Mom, you can have your period and still be pregnant." My mom is in tears. She has decided that if he wants to stay with Psycho Sally she wants nothing to do with him. At this point, I also do not want anything to do with him. In fact I find out that he complained about being in my house. A house which he lived in basically rent free.
In the meantime, being the sister that has always defended him, I have tried to reach out on numerous occassions to him. He has not called back because there is nothing he needs from me at the moment since he knows I will not allow his girlfriend to move in my house.
After hearing the deceptions and the lies over and over, I've decided to finally think of myself for once. I don't want anything to do with someone that could flat out lie and hurt the people in his family the most for a girl he's known 6 weeks.
Ironically, my sister (who hates his guts to begin with) is playing good cop and offering to help him and his girlfriend in their "situation" - all that needs to happen is she needs to come over and indeed take a pregnancy test to prove this is not another lie. They have yet to take her up on this offer.
About 6 weeks ago he met a girl through a mutual friend. On their first date he needed a ride to see her, I told him I would but I had a big day the next day so he would need to take the bus. I laid down at 11:30 p.m. to go to bed. At 12:30 a.m. my phone rang, he missed the bus and needed a ride. So I picked him up.
About 2 weeks later I was getting ready for work in the bathroom when I noticed a suspicious bloody female product in my garbage can. Being the only female in the house I knew exactly what had happened. I cleaned up the mess and calmed myself, went to work. When I got home I had a civilized chat with my brother. I did not like people I did not know in my home. This girl was not allowed to be here overnight. He agreed.
Three days later I lay in bed and hear "squeak, squeak, squeak" along with small chit chat through the vent our rooms share. I calmly get out of bed and yell for him to come downstairs. "She's here again. She does NOT sleep over. I have not met her." He argues that he sleeps on the floor when she is over, I let him know that its a lie and it doesn't matter.
2 weeks later I'm hosting a rummage sale. I go into my attic, which is across from his room only to find both him and this girl in MY bed sleeping. He has broken the rules again and he has been caught in a lie. This time I'm pissed and I yell. I tell him that this is the last straw, if it happens again he can pack his bags and get out.
I still have yet to meet this woman.
Five days later I'm informed by my boyfriend's child that he saw my brother and his girlfriend in the morning. He joked how he snuck her in. My boyfriend mentions that he did see her and he acknowledged that he knew she was sleeping over. Because of this I feel like I cannot kick him out. I let my brother know, yet again, the behavior is not acceptable. Come to find out she was kicked out of her house and had no where to apparently go, if she couldn't come over she'd break up with him. I explain that its not acceptable in my home.
Thing are fine for the next few days, until I wake up in the morning and am greeted by another bloody pad in my garbage (chick doesn't even wrap it in toilet paper or try to hide it). I had enough, I was done. I grab my phone and text him that she was over again, he broke the rules and to get out. He responds that he and the girl broke up so it wouldn't happen again (because he would not give her money for cigarrettes). Upon coming home that evening still fuming, my boyfriend convinces me to give him one final shot, after all we do need a dogsitter. We place the final rules into place. He agrees by them.
It's 12:30 at night and I've just fallen asleep when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number, so I send it to voicemail. It calls four more times. I finally pick up ... its the Police Department and my brother's friends have reported that he is threatening suicide. They need to send a patrol.
I leave my room only to find my 23 year old brother inviting my boyfriend's 10 year old to join him on a trip to the gas station (it's 1:00 in the morning). I irrately tell the boy to get into his room and sleep while ordering my brother outside. We have a passionate conversation about how the cops are on the way and what an idiot he is. In the end the cops come and under their advice, he's driven to the looney bin.
The looney bin was full and six phone calls that made me get precisely 10 minutes of sleep before a 12 hour work day ask for him to be picked up. I refuse. My mom comes and gets him and has him pack everything at my house - he has been evicted.
In the meantime him and the girl get back together. I warn my mom that this is exactly the girl to get pregnant on purpose and my brother is enough of an idiot to get her pregnant. His girlfriend calls him on Friday to see her - her uncle has just hit her and she's afraid. So he lies and says he will be by another friend's house. He gets a hotel and spends the weekend with her. He calls my mom 2 days later to inform her that he again, will not be home. She throws a fit. He admits that he is sneaking around with her. She tells him that he is to come home tonight or he can never return. Finally 3 hours later he calls her to pick him up. He informs her that he has broken up with her (she told him if he didn't stay she would break up with him).
The next day comes and goes with little rumbling until his phone bill gets checked (he shares a plan with my parents and was now 200 minutes over the limit for all 3 of them). It turns out that he indeed had lied again and was speaking, rather often, to his girlfriend. On Tuesday my mom and him have it out and he informs her that he lied about having sex - and the girl is pregnant.
This red flags to me as I was the one cleaning up the bloody pad that my dog plucked out of the garbage just one week before this fiasco meaning that she most likely was not pregnant a week ago. And if she had gotten pregnant since - I mean, she's only under a week along. I share this concern with my mom who share it with him. "Well Mom, you can have your period and still be pregnant." My mom is in tears. She has decided that if he wants to stay with Psycho Sally she wants nothing to do with him. At this point, I also do not want anything to do with him. In fact I find out that he complained about being in my house. A house which he lived in basically rent free.
In the meantime, being the sister that has always defended him, I have tried to reach out on numerous occassions to him. He has not called back because there is nothing he needs from me at the moment since he knows I will not allow his girlfriend to move in my house.
After hearing the deceptions and the lies over and over, I've decided to finally think of myself for once. I don't want anything to do with someone that could flat out lie and hurt the people in his family the most for a girl he's known 6 weeks.
Ironically, my sister (who hates his guts to begin with) is playing good cop and offering to help him and his girlfriend in their "situation" - all that needs to happen is she needs to come over and indeed take a pregnancy test to prove this is not another lie. They have yet to take her up on this offer.
Monday, August 24, 2009
A thoughtful boasting of nothing.
I sat in the warm shower tonight, what I normally do in the morning, and did what I normally do. Reflect on the last eight years and how life could've been so different under the bellowing drops of luke warm water as the scents of soaps and shampoos permeate in the air.
I think about how different I am from 2 years ago, from 4 years ago, from 2 years ago. How different my life could have - even should have been if I had made different choices.
At the long end I think how I could have been in a marriage with a cheating husband, barefoot and pregnant with my third child. Disappointed because it was a boy. But how close I grew to my cousin because our lives shared an inevitable path of simplicity. And I shake off the bubbles and think that the choice I made was not easy, but so right.
What if I had stayed with the guitarist who's now a meth junkie and living in his car. Maybe I could have pulled him out of it and we'd be in a shitty run down house that reeked of cheap pot and heroin cooking on the stove. Me in a business suit working 80 hours a week just to not come home, focusing that frustration on the career I've always wanted.
Or if I had never started this blog and just let my anger, hurt, hopes and love just boil inside of me, I would secretly loathe my job but live a shell of existence of sweet simple life, smiling on the outside and crying on the inside.
I'm reminded ever so often of the choices I made and what could have been done to change my life today. Its not that I feel my life isn't good right now its just that you wonder how different it could be.
Instead of just nothing I'll give you something. Yes, I'm still with TW we worked things out. Instead of being the person I thought he wanted, I've gotten comfortable with being the person that I am and its helped.
On the job front I left the diversity place, and went back to an old industry. On the house front, I'm still where I was. I still have the bumpkin and the now 50lb puppy.
For the most part I'm a low-key same version of myself - though I feel old parts creep up occassionally.
I do need to vent about one thing before I leave - I throw myself out there even when I shouldn't. After a friend said she encountered my old boss at an event she mentioned she missed me. I laughed. At one point she was my dearest friend, but upon the situation of leaving my old job and her part in the events during and after, I would not think this woman cared a dime for me. I had sent several emails, including business leads that were returned short or not at all. As I see she still just lies to seem like a person she is not or to fill an empty hole that she created about the person she would like to be. In the end I realize that I can't continue to try to be a person who I am not.
I think about how different I am from 2 years ago, from 4 years ago, from 2 years ago. How different my life could have - even should have been if I had made different choices.
At the long end I think how I could have been in a marriage with a cheating husband, barefoot and pregnant with my third child. Disappointed because it was a boy. But how close I grew to my cousin because our lives shared an inevitable path of simplicity. And I shake off the bubbles and think that the choice I made was not easy, but so right.
What if I had stayed with the guitarist who's now a meth junkie and living in his car. Maybe I could have pulled him out of it and we'd be in a shitty run down house that reeked of cheap pot and heroin cooking on the stove. Me in a business suit working 80 hours a week just to not come home, focusing that frustration on the career I've always wanted.
Or if I had never started this blog and just let my anger, hurt, hopes and love just boil inside of me, I would secretly loathe my job but live a shell of existence of sweet simple life, smiling on the outside and crying on the inside.
I'm reminded ever so often of the choices I made and what could have been done to change my life today. Its not that I feel my life isn't good right now its just that you wonder how different it could be.
Instead of just nothing I'll give you something. Yes, I'm still with TW we worked things out. Instead of being the person I thought he wanted, I've gotten comfortable with being the person that I am and its helped.
On the job front I left the diversity place, and went back to an old industry. On the house front, I'm still where I was. I still have the bumpkin and the now 50lb puppy.
For the most part I'm a low-key same version of myself - though I feel old parts creep up occassionally.
I do need to vent about one thing before I leave - I throw myself out there even when I shouldn't. After a friend said she encountered my old boss at an event she mentioned she missed me. I laughed. At one point she was my dearest friend, but upon the situation of leaving my old job and her part in the events during and after, I would not think this woman cared a dime for me. I had sent several emails, including business leads that were returned short or not at all. As I see she still just lies to seem like a person she is not or to fill an empty hole that she created about the person she would like to be. In the end I realize that I can't continue to try to be a person who I am not.
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